


Collecting Piers

by baeksesoolove (silentlylo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Beaches, M/M, Photography, Sex, Southern California, Surfing, baeksoo - Freeform, k-rock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 114,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentlylo/pseuds/baeksesoolove
Summary: Baekhyun loves to photograph the ocean, but one night his best friend asks him to photograph a K-rock band's concert instead. Baekhyun finds that he can't keep his camera, or his eyes, off the lead singer, D.O.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Baeksoo! I had been wanting to write one, but couldn't quite figure out what I wanted the story to be. Then @kyungmoji challenged me to write a simple story, from only one person's point of view, and without an over-dramatic storyline. Challenge accepted! I hope everyone enjoys!

A seagull had just taken flight, its silhouette dotting the glow of the orange sun behind it as the warm reflection radiated off the waves coming onto the shore. Baekhyun took the shot, giving himself a mental cheer when he looked at the perfect image on the screen. That one would definitely get posted on his Instagram account.

The phone in the pocket of his board shorts vibrated and made a soft musical tone and Baekhyun reached in to pull it out, seeing his best friend Sehun’s face on the screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, picking up the call.

“I need your help,” Sehun said, and he sounded a bit frazzled, which was strange for the usually calm man. “It’s an emergency.”

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun started walking back up the beach and grabbed his skateboard from where he had left it.

“Remember how I was supposed to photograph that band tonight that I was telling you about? I can’t make it anymore because of this stupid project at work. Can you go and get pics for me? Please? I’ll buy you ramen.”

“You want me to take pics of a band? Do I even know how to do that?” Baekhyun wondered out loud. He only ever took pictures of oceanscapes and beach life. What setting would he even need to use on his camera? Would he need a telephoto lens?

“You’re a great photographer. I know the pics will be great. Just do this for me. The site really wants to cover this. Oh, and if you can write up a paragraph or two about how the show was, that’d be great too. It’s at the El Rey. I’ve already transferred the photo pass to your name. Thanks!”

Sehun hung up before Baekhyun could counter once more, and he stared at the phone for a moment before putting it back in his pocket, dropping his skateboard on the sidewalk he was now on, and wondering if he’d even make it back home to change and head up to LA in time for the show.

***

The band was running late, which was fortuitous for Sehun, since Baekhyun had barely made it up to LA in the first place and then had spent way too long trying to park. He really hated coming into the city. He picked up his photo pass at Will Call and walked in, the place packed with restless fans who were complaining about the band always being late onstage, then commenting on how at least they knew it’d be worth it once the show started.

He found his way to the front and was allowed into the small strip of space between the fans and the stage where a couple of other photographers stood waiting.

“They’re late,” one of the other photographers told him as Baekhyun took his camera out of his backpack.

“That worked out for me,” he let him know, not sure why the guy was stating the obvious.

“They’re known for this,” the guy continued, and Baekhyun realized he just wanted to talk to someone, probably to help pass the time. “The bigger they got, the more they started pulling stunts like this. It’s all gotten to their heads.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun nodded, as he lifted his camera up to try and see what kind of shots he’d be getting with this lighting, and then he realized he was going to need to do a lot of adjustments pretty quick. Or maybe not so quick if the band kept stalling.

“Their music is still great though,” the guy rambled on. “They’re the only ones really doing anything original in rock over there.”

“I don’t really know anything about them,” Baekhyun finally admitted. “I’m just covering for a friend’s assignment.”

“You don’t know anything about Exodus? How? They’re great.”

“I’m more into rap and hip hop,” Baekhyun admitted. “I don’t listen to rock or any Korean music really.”

“You should, man. You’ll see. These guys are great.”

“I can’t wait to see,” Baekhyun told him, thinking he might have gotten a decent enough setting going, knowing that the spotlights on the stage would help once they were on. “If they ever come out.”

A rather mind-numbing ten minutes passed after that, and finally the houselights went off, causing the crowd to erupt in a decibel-shattering cheer that made Baekhyun curse the fact that he hadn’t thought to bring earplugs while he had been rushing to gather his things.

It was all a bit overdramatic – darkness, and then a deep voice narrating how in the beginning there was nothing. Lasers danced upon a backdrop forming various symbols and geometric patterns before the band’s name Exodus was spelled out, and Baekhyun noticed the band walk out on stage while the lights were still out and their name glowed behind them.

A large smattering on the drums intro’d the song, which went straight into a high energy guitar riff as the lights went on and the crowd erupted even louder at the sight of the band in front of them, rocking out to a song that was in Korean and not decipherable to Baekhyun who had never taken the time to properly learn the language. He only knew the small sample of words and phrases he had picked up from his parents over time.

His first photographs were terrible, but he finally figured out how to train his lens just right on the lead singer and finally focus on him properly, making sure to get the intensity of the man that was quite small in stature and whose voice had a surprising soulfulness to it, which Baekhyun wouldn’t have expected from the music they were doing. Then again, the other photographer had mentioned their originality, so maybe this is what he had meant.

He tried to make sure and get pictures of the other members as well, but he kept returning his camera to the lead singer, who dominated as the main event, even Baekhyun realizing the strong magnetism of his performance as he didn’t want to take his eyes off him. He wasn’t even sure what it was. He supposed it could have been a combination of things: the voice, the natural stage presence, the way he seemed to feel and act out every lyric, the way his black leather pants hugged his body tight in exactly the right places, the way the chain on the side of his pants dangled and danced with each hip movement he threw in during the guitarist’s solo, the way his black T-shirt read “It’s your unlucky day” and fitted him as if Korea had a special size just for him, the way his hair was made to look damp as his bangs helped to frame the strong eyebrows beneath them. There was so much, and Baekhyun didn’t realize he had gotten lost in any of these things until he looked at his screen and saw the lead singer looking right into his lens.

Baekhyun looked up just as the lead singer did and in the way that lead singers of rock bands know they’re having an effect on their captive audience, he walked closer to him on the stage and crouched to put his heart and soul into some line just for Baekhyun’s camera.

He almost fumbled the shot out of sudden nervousness and thought about how Sehun would never forgive him if he found out he had missed out on an exclusive photo. He got the shot right just in time before the lead singer stood back up and headed toward the other side of the stage to be greeted by screams as he made his fans feel as if he sang only to them.

“I can’t believe he gave you that shot,” the other photographer told him as security directed them out of the photo pit once the third song finished. “He really played it up for your camera. Did you signal him or something?”

“No, I didn’t do anything,” Baekhyun said a little confused, “Does he not normally do that?”

“D.O. is cold to anyone who isn’t a fan. He’s one of those. Does it for the music. Does it for the fans. Hates everything else that comes with it. That’s why he pulls the diva acts he does. Shows up late, doesn’t show up to photoshoots or interviews, skips awards shows when he can, doesn’t bother with damage control when he pops up in the tabloids. I personally think the persona works. Rock stars should be rock stars, right?”

“I guess,” Baekhyun shrugged, trying to figure out if he could leave through a side exit instead of having to navigate through people to get back out to the front.

“Listen, if I give you my number, could you text me those shots he gave you? Just for my personal collection.”

“Sure,” Baekhyun said, taking the guy’s number and seeing a side exit. He headed in its direction and anticipated the fresh outside air when a man, small in stature, stopped him, which was impressive since Baekhyun himself had his own height issues.

“Can you come backstage with me?” The man asked, in a way that was neither rude nor polite, and he looked at him with the eyes of a cat, as if waiting patiently for a response.

“Uh, sure?” Baekhyun said, not knowing who this man was or what it could be about. Maybe they wanted to review his pics and okay them. He had no idea how concert photography worked.

He followed the guy backstage, deleting the really bad pics as he did so, just in case.

“You can sit there,” the guy said pointing to a couch in the band dressing room. “There’s beer if you want some,” he mentioned as something on his phone caught his attention.

Baekhyun looked behind him to see if anyone else was coming in. “Um, where are the other photographers?”

“What do you mean?” The guy didn’t look up at him, instead tapping away on his phone, appearing to be distracted now.

“Why am I the only photographer that was brought back here?”

The guy looked back up at him, this time assessing him as he looked him over.

“D.O. wanted you brought backstage. He wants to talk to you.”

Now Baekhyun felt really confused. Did he think the pictures of his performance for his camera didn’t come out right?

“Why?” Baekhyun asked.

“Are you legal?”

“Excuse me?”

“How old are you?”

“Why?”

“I need to make sure you’re legal if you’re going to be back here drinking beer.”

“I don’t want to drink beer. I want to go home. That was my plan before you told me to come back here with you.”

“Are you not a fan?”

Baekhyun sighed. Had he acted like a fan? Did D.O. think he wanted to meet him? This was so weird.

“I have no idea who these guys are. I’m just filling in for my friend’s assignment because he couldn’t make it.”

“Huh,” the guy said nodding, assessing him again. Baekhyun really wished he’d stop doing that. “Well the show should be over in about an hour and a half, so you can hang out here until it’s done.”

Was this guy serious? Baekhyun’s patience was starting to wear a little thin.

“I can’t stay for an hour and a half. I live in the O.C. That’s a long drive, and I have to be up early in the morning to go to work.”

The guy sighed and ran his hand through his black hair then said, “Fine, you can come watch the show from the side of the stage and take more pics from that view. That’s not a privilege afforded to just anyone.”

“That’s not a solution to what I just said?” Baekhyun commented, not sure what he was supposed to take from that answer.

“D.O. wants to talk to you. My job is to make sure that happens. Just hang out. You don’t know who they are, so why not check them out and watch the rest of the show? You already made the drive up, right?”

“Your job is to make sure that happens? Does that pay well?”

“In my case, yes, it pays very well. I need to check in on how the show is going, come on.”

Baekhyun knew he should just go home. It wasn’t like the guy could actually hold him hostage or anything. He didn’t see any burly security guards around. He could make a run for it.

But… He bet Sehun would really love the side stage view pics, and more than that, he’d like that he somehow got them access to shoot the rest of the show when no other professional photographer would. So he followed the manager back to the stage and up the steps leading to the side view where other people were crowded around watching.

Baekhyun used his camera “privilege” to nudge in front of the other people standing there, discovering an angle to take some pretty cool crowd shots as well.

The music really wasn’t his thing, but he could admit that the band knew how to play. The drummer caught Baekhyun’s attention, mostly because he was sweating profusely due to how energetically and quickly he played the drums. The lead guitarist made very high pitched sounds before driving a heavy riff to accompany the bass line. And leading the spectacle was D.O., holding the microphone like if it was an extension of himself, giving a performance that Baekhyun felt, even without understanding it.

When it was time for the encore, the band came off the stage and walked by him, D.O. noticing him for a moment and then walking on by as if it hadn’t mattered that he’d been standing there.

This entire night was so weird, and Baekhyun debated leaving.

They didn’t make their fans wait as long this time to return, and as they took the stage, Baekhyun got a text from Sehun asking if he had ever made it to the show. He texted that he was still there and that he’d be leaving soon.

Once the encore was over, his escort motioned for him to follow him, and he did, back into the dressing room that now had the whole band in it along with a bunch of other people congratulating them for the great show. Baekhyun wondered if he could take pictures of it since he was stuck there for some reason.

Instead he leaned against the table by the wall that had all their drinks and food on it and started reviewing his pictures, getting rid of the newly taken bad ones to give himself something to do while he waited there for… whatever he was waiting for.

A lot of Korean was being spoken, so he didn’t pay much attention to what was being said around him until someone stood next to him, casting a sudden shadow on his screen.

“Those are good,” the person said.

Baekhyun looked up to see the tall drummer peeking at the pictures, and he angled his camera so he could see them better.

“Yeah? Thanks. You speak English.”

“So do you,” the drummer said and then he smiled. “Are you a reporter?”

“No, I… I have no idea why I’m back here. That little guy told me to come back here,” he said motioning toward his escort who now ran around talking to people and appearing to be trying to make something happen.

“That’s our manager. Minseok,” the drummer said.

“Your manager. I should have guessed that.”

“Most of our fans know who he is. They consider him our fifth member. I guess we do too.”

“I see,” Baekhyun nodded. “And you’re the drummer.”

“Chanyeol,” he said, extending his hand for a shake, and Baekhyun shook it.

“I’m Baekhyun, nice to meet you.”

“So you don’t know why you’re back here?” Chanyeol asked with a big laugh, which matched his big height and big hands that shook big.

“No clue. Your manager said that D.O. wanted to speak with me, but I have no idea why. I’m assuming he wants to look at the pictures.”

Chanyeol lost the big smile on his face and glanced over at D.O., making Baekhyun feel he needed to glance too. Sure enough, the lead singer was speaking with someone, though his eyes weren’t on that person. They were on Baekhyun and Chanyeol instead.

“Well it was nice talking to you,” Chanyeol said with a little nod, and he turned to leave.

“Wait, why are you leaving?”

“Uh,” Chanyeol glanced back toward the lead singer who still watched them then looked at Baekhyun. “If he asked for you to come back here, it’s because he’s interested in you.”

“Waaaait,” Baekhyun said, feeling a small freak out coming on as he looked back at the singer who dismissed himself from the person he had been pretending to listen to. “What do you mean… wait… no… I’m not…”

“Oh shit, you’re not into guys?” Chanyeol asked, his eyes now really big. “His gaydar is usually on point.”

“It’s not that. I just didn’t… I have to go home.”

“Oh shit, are you not legal?” Now his eyes were so big that Baekhyun was sure his eyeballs would fall out.

“It’s not that either. I…”

“Hi,” came the unexpectedly deep voice of D.O., and Baekhyun looked over at him with a slight panic.

“His name’s Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said to D.O., “Have fun.” And then Chanyeol left Baekhyun alone with D.O., and he had no idea what to do about it. How he had gotten himself into this situation in the first place? He was going to kill Sehun.

“Cool name,” D.O. told him once they were alone. He had a strange aloofness to him, like a disaffected attitude that hid something underneath, but Baekhyun had no time to think about that now.

“Why did you ask your manager to bring me back here?”

“Because you’re cute, and I feel like being with someone cute tonight,” D.O. said, while staring right at Baekhyun and not possessing a single hint of irony in his voice.

“Being with someone… I’m not a groupie. I’m not even a fan. I literally was covering a photo assignment for my friend. I don’t even know who the hell you are. And I have to be at work early, so I have to go.”

He barely finished saying “go” when D.O. grabbed the back of his neck and went in for a kiss, which was so sudden and so unexpected that Baekhyun pushed him away.

“What the hell?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him and wondering if anyone was going to say something, but all the people around them seemed to be minding their own business. “I’m not interested. I’m going home.”

“You were interested when you were taking pictures of me,” D.O. said, not phased at all by being pushed away.

“I told you. I was covering for…”

“I saw the way you looked at me,” D.O. cut him off.

“Your ego is insane,” Baekhyun let him know.

“Fine,” D.O. said, “Come back to my place tonight, and I’ll let you take all the pictures you want.”

“I got all the pictures I needed.”

“I’ll even model for you.”

“This is a kink for you isn’t it?” Baekhyun assessed. “You’re wasting your time. I don’t hook up with people I don’t know, and I don’t normally take pictures of egotistical rock stars.”

“What do you normally take pictures of?”

“Not people. Well, not photoshoots.”

“So then what?” D.O. asked, and he put his hand on the table to lean against it while leaning toward Baekhyun to look at his camera, as if he’d show him.

Baekhyun wanted to move away, but he seemed genuinely interested, even if maybe he was only interested to get into Baekhyun’s pants, which was ridiculous and made no sense. Baekhyun could never get his crushes to notice him, and now all of a sudden some hot rock star wanted him? Maybe this was an elaborate joke Sehun had set up.

“I’m not a professional. It’s just a hobby. You wouldn’t find it interesting.”

“Show me anyway,” he said, and this time D.O. looked up at him, and for a moment, he wasn’t an egotistical rock star. He just looked like this cute young man who was curious about his pictures.

“I’ll show you the one I took before I came here tonight,” Baekhyun relented, “And then I’m going home. I have to be up for work early in the morning.”

“What do you do?”

“None of your business.”

“You know what I do.”

“Harass photographers,” Baekhyun nodded, and D.O. snorted lightly, which Baekhyun had not expected.

He showed him the photograph, and D.O.’s expression changed into something that Baekhyun couldn’t quite describe, so he just waited for him to say something to help him figure it out.

“That’s a beautiful picture,” D.O. said, looking at him again. “You take beautiful pictures.”

“Of the ocean,” Baekhyun confirmed. “The only time I take pictures of people is if they’re on the beach.”

“So then why don’t we go to the beach?” He said, and Baekhyun had momentarily forgotten what D.O.’s agenda had been.

“Uh, no. I have to go home. Like two hours ago.”

“I’ll pay you. Or, I’ll have my manager pay you to do a photoshoot of me on the beach.”

“Don’t you have adoring fans that would kill to hook up with you? You really don’t have to try this hard. Just go get one of them.”

“That gets boring,” D.O. said. “I feel like something different tonight.”

“It sounds like your hand might be something different. You should try it.”

Baekhyun expected D.O. to call security to escort him out, but instead he let out another soft snort and waved their manager over.

“I want him to do a photoshoot of me on the beach,” D.O. explained to Minseok.

“I don’t do that kind of thing,” Baekhyun protested.

“How much would you charge?” Minseok asked him.

“Nothing. I don’t do photoshoots. I’m not really a professional.”

“One grand?”

Baekhyun paused and blinked.

“You’re going to give me a thousand dollars to take pictures of him on the beach?”

“Is that enough?”

Baekhyun had to seriously consider this. That was easy money, and he had already warned him that he wasn’t a professional, so he didn’t even have to worry about the pictures being any good. But on the flip side, D.O. would most definitely expect him to sleep with him and he was not down for that regardless of how good he had looked on stage in those black leather pants.

“It’s past my bedtime, and I’m way too tired to make a decision like this,” Baekhyun admitted.

“Two grand,” D.O. said, and Minseok raised an eyebrow at his lead singer.

Baekhyun knew he’d be crazy to pass up two thousand dollars. He could certainly use it to help pay off his car and buy some camera lenses he had been eyeing.

“Okay,” he nodded, “Two thousand dollars. Only a photoshoot. Nothing else. I’m not sleeping with you. And don’t try and kiss me again.”

“You tried to kiss him,” Minseok said more to himself closing his eyes. Then the manager sighed as D.O. seemed to consider the terms.

“Deal,” D.O. finally said.

“Okay, well, I get off work at six, but I’ll leave a little early so I can meet you at the Santa Monica Pier by 7. That’s where we’ll do the photoshoot. We can meet at the indoor carousel.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay, I’m going to leave now,” Baekhyun said, stepping away from him and Minseok as if needing to test that he’d finally be allowed to leave.

“Do you have a number I can reach you at?” Minseok asked.

“No,” Baekhyun said. “I’ll be there at 7.”

D.O. let out a soft sigh of amusement and nodded, then left, just like that, without even saying bye or telling him to drive safely, and headed over to his bandmates.

Baekhyun watched him and looked over at Minseok then very plainly asked, “What have I just gotten myself into?”

“I have no idea,” Minseok said, now looking a bit stressed. “Every day he finds a new way to surprise me with some weird request. He didn’t used to be like this, but… well anyway, are you going to really be there or should I not waste my time taking him?”

“I’ll be there. I could really use the cash right now.”

“Okay, I’ll have it for you tomorrow then. See you at 7.”

“Yeah, see you,” Baekhyun said, taking the chance to get out of there before anything else weird could hold him back.

It wasn’t until he was back in his car and merging onto the 10 that he realized D.O. had also spoken perfect English, as had Minseok, though Minseok at least had a slight accent.

When he got home to his apartment, he tried to not make a lot of noise, knowing his roommate was fast asleep. He brushed his teeth, changed into boxers and a soft T-shirt, crawled into bed, and pulled up Exodus info on his laptop.

_Exodus (stylized as EXOdus) is a South Korean rock band with a lineup consisting of vocalist D.O., guitarist Zhang Yixing, bassist Kim Jongdae and drummer Chanyeol Park. They have released two full-length albums and 3 mini EPs._

Baekhyun read through the entire Wikipedia entry like it was a mystery and he was following the path of the detective who had to find out the secrets of this mysterious group. He managed to get the answers he was looking for, two of the four members were from the O.C. Small world, Baekhyun thought. They were into music and decided to go to college in Korea after they graduated from high school, thinking they’d have a better chance in the music industry there than in L.A. They clearly made the right decision based on their long list of achievements and sold out concert dates in Korea and other parts of Asia.

D.O., it turned out, wasn’t really named D.O. His name was Kyungsoo Do, originally born Do Kyungsoo in some part of Seoul, but grew up in Irvine after his parents left Korea and moved to the U.S. when he was a child.

“Of course he’s from Irvine,” Baekhyun said to himself, “Rich, entitled, probably spoiled rotten by his parents.” The other American member, Chanyeol Park, was from Irvine as well, with a similar story of moving to the U.S. with his family when he was young. Yixing was from China, and they had met him at the university they had all attended, where they had also met Kim Jongdae, who was Korean, but had done some time in high school in the U.S. when his family lived there briefly due to his father’s job. It seemed that Yixing and Jongdae were the chief songwriters for the band.

Baekhyun turned off his laptop and willed himself to go to sleep, knowing he’d be paying for his late night out in the morning when his alarm went off.


	2. Chapter 2

Baekhyun had tried to explain to Sehun that he couldn’t come along to the photoshoot, but very little could deter his best friend from jumping into his car and leaving Baekhyun no choice but to bring him. He was grateful for it honestly. All day at work he had been thinking about D.O. and how… weird he was. It was the only word he could think of. It was the persona of him that seemed off, like he wasn’t a real human somehow.

He managed to find parking on the pier parking lot and made Sehun carry the tripod as Baekhyun lugged his backpack and camera case toward the indoor carousel.

“Whoa, you really weren’t making this up,” Sehun said, as they both spotted Kyungsoo leaning back against the railing that went around the carousel, while speaking with Minseok.

“Why would I have made this up?” Baekhyun gave Sehun a look that let him know he made no sense.

D.O. must have mentioned to Minseok that they had arrived since, even though D.O. himself didn’t bother to greet the two men, Minseok waved and smiled then said, “Great. Let’s get started.”

“It’s magic hour, so we got good light to deal with. I think we should start under the pier. Also, this is my best friend Sehun. He’s going to be helping me out.”

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Sehun said to D.O., who just looked him over then stared at him without saying anything.

“I’m Minseok.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Sehun told him.

“Lead the way,” Minseok then said to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun and Sehun walked a little ahead, mostly because Baekhyun wanted to be sure of the location before they got to it just in case he changed his mind.

“He’s so hot in real life,” Sehun commented.

“Which one?” Baekhyun joked.

“No seriously. I can’t believe you didn’t hook up with him.”

“When have I ever just hooked up with someone?” Baekhyun reminded him, walking around three kids that were in the middle of creating a moat for their sand castle.

“But it’s not just someone. It’s D.O. Do you know that in Korea he’s always on the most beautiful people list? Do you know that magazines he’s on the cover of sell out in seconds? He’s the kind of person you make an exception for.”

“Well maybe if you play your cards right today, you can hook up with him instead.”

“Why do you think I tagged along?”

Baekhyun shoved Sehun’s shoulder, making him laugh, and they both went under the pier, Baekhyun already in love with the way the sunrays were coming through the wooden beams, giving a pinkish orange glow to the waves crashing around them.

“Okay, why don’t you stand there?” Baekhyun pointed out to D.O. once he and Minseok had caught up.

“You just want me to stand?” The aloof singer asked, and Baekhyun made a motion with his hand as if instructing him to improvise.

“You do photoshoots all the time, right? Just do what you normally do, and I’ll take the shots. Sehun, set up the tripod. I’m going to do some handheld shots first while you do that.”

Sehun nodded and went to work on setting up the tripod. Baekhyun moved in closer, taking shots of Kyungsoo as he looked to the left, and then to the right, standing nonplussed with his hands in the pockets of his dark washed jeans. He wore a T-shirt with a dragon design under a short sleeved shirt with an interesting red and black pattern that he had left unbuttoned.

“Move around. Have some fun with the water,” Baekhyun told him, trying to get him to do something other than stand there and look from one side to the other.

“I don’t want to take my shoes off,” D.O. stated.

“Or don’t,” Baekhyun sighed, wishing he could focus instead on taking pictures of the sun playing on the water instead of this guy that didn’t want to take his shoes off at the beach. Who even went to the beach without the intention of taking off their shoes? Baekhyun had taken his Converse off the moment they had walked down from the pier to the beach.

“Tripod’s ready,” Sehun announced.

“I don’t think we’ll need it since D.O. won’t move,” Baekhyun stated, very much for D.O. to hear.

The lead singer’s only reaction was to turn and start strolling back toward the beach, apparently deciding he was done with taking pictures under the pier.

Baekhyun sighed and looked at Minseok.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok said. “He’s had a bad day. I’m not sure why he didn’t cancel doing this.”

“Should we bother to keep going?” Baekhyun asked, as they walked out from under the pier to follow D.O. down the beach.

“I have no idea. I let him do what he wants.”

“Well, that works out great for him,” Baekhyun pointed out, “But I have other things I could be doing.”

Like eating the ramen Sehun had promised him and winding down from a stressful day at work by playing some video games before going to bed.

“Just give it a few more,” Minseok told him.

Baekhyun nodded at him then lifted his camera to take pictures of D.O. walking, and when those became too repetitive, he trained his camera on the ocean to get a few shots for himself.

At some point, D.O. sat on the sand facing toward the ocean, raising his knees up and letting his arms loosely hang around them as he stared out at the sunset.

Baekhyun had to pause and keep his heart from leaping a little at the beautiful shot. He quickly took it, and another, not having any issues believing that this man was very capable of selling out magazines.

But again, after many shots had been taken, he didn’t make any motion to move, or even pose. He just stared, appearing to be lost in his own world, and Baekhyun wondered what exactly could be going through his mind. He supposed he could be thinking about his bad day, but what even was a bad day to a rich rock star with adoring fans and enough money to throw away two thousand dollars to an amateur photographer he wouldn’t even pose for?

“I’ve sort of exhausted all my shots here,” Baekhyun remarked to Minseok after D.O. continued to sit and, for the most part, ignore them.

“It’s fine. You’ve already put up with enough,” Minseok said, pulling a small envelope out of his messenger bag and handing it to him.

Baekhyun accepted it and asked, “Do you have an email I can send the folder link to once I have them all uploaded and color corrected?”

“I put my business card inside the envelope.”

He should have anticipated that. He supposed managers were paid to think of everything. He nodded at him and put the envelope in his camera bag, then looked up to see that a few stray clouds had appeared out of nowhere. It was rare to get the chance to shoot a sunset with clouds in Southern California, and Baekhyun didn’t want to miss the opportunity.

“Hey,” he said to Minseok, “Since it looks like you might be here for a bit, would you mind watching my stuff while I try and get these sunset shots?”

“Sure,” Minseok said, taking a seat beside the equipment as he took out his phone to keep himself occupied.

Baekhyun thanked him and took off with Sehun toward the shore, taking the pictures of the clouds above the water turning their own shades of pink and yellow.

“I can’t believe you just made that much money and got to photograph D.O.,” Sehun said, kicking at the waves that came in.

“I can’t either. It still doesn’t make sense. On any level.”

“It’s something that would only happen to you,” Sehun laughed. “It’s your magic.”

“My magic of finding myself in weird and awkward situations?” Baekhyun laughed, crouching down to get a shot of the clouds’ reflection on the water better.

“Yes,” Sehun said, cracking up as he pretended to jog in and out of the waves.

Baekhyun captured that moment as well on his camera, often taking pics of Sehun who was naturally photogenic, which wasn’t surprising with his tall height, perfect posture and symmetrical face. In another life, Sehun would have probably been a model himself. Most of the pics he had of Sehun though were of him in his bodysuit, with his surfboard, waiting for the right conditions to paddle out and catch a perfect wave. But he liked when he got to take pics of Sehun like this better.

Once the sun had gone down enough, Baekhyun placed the cap on his lens and returned it to his case, neither Minseok nor D.O. having moved from their positions. He ran back to the water to splash Sehun and a full on war started between the friends as they chased each other around, the waves catching them both off guard at one point, soaking Baekhyun from just above the knees down. It was a good thing he always kept an extra set of shorts in his car. He’d have to change out of his jeans into them once they got back onto the pier.

“Okay, now I’m hungry,” Baekhyun told Sehun, the last of the sun dipping below the horizon. “Let’s go get the ramen you owe me.”

“If they’re open by the time we get back home,” Sehun remarked as he followed Baekhyun back up to where Minseok sat.

He noticed that D.O. now stood beside Minseok, watching them and then looking off in the other direction.

“We’re going to head out now,” Baekhyun let Minseok know, handing a bag to Sehun to carry.

“I believe we are too,” Minseok said, looking up at D.O. for confirmation, but he wasn’t paying attention.

“Okay, cool, I’ll email you the pics.”

“Where are you going now?” D.O. then asked, turning his attention back to Baekhyun.

“Um… none of your business?” Baekhyun replied.

“We’re going to eat ramen,” Sehun said with a smile, “You guys should come eat with us.”

Baekhyun threw a surprised look in Sehun’s direction, and his best friend just shrugged and gave him a look back.

“We should head back to the hotel,” Minseok told D.O.

“I could go for some ramen,” he said instead, and Baekhyun sighed.

“Kyungsoo,” Minseok said, and Baekhyun was surprised to hear him say his real name, then realized, duh, he knew him, of course he would use his real name. “You’ve had a long day.”

“Then what difference does it make if it goes longer?” D.O., or Kyungsoo, said back to his manager.

“It’s the best ramen in the O.C.,” Sehun told them. “But we’d have to leave like now to make it before they closed.”

“We’re headed to the O.C. tonight anyway,” D.O. said to Minseok.

“We need to get your stuff from the hotel first,” Minseok seemed to need to remind him.

“You go get it. You know where to take it. I’ll just ride down with them and you can come meet us or pick me up if we’re done.”

“What?” Baekhyun asked, not liking this idea at all.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sehun said. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

“Wait, what?” Baekhyun asked again.

D.O. started walking toward the pier and Sehun followed with excitement, waving for Baekhyun and Minseok to hurry up.

“What just happened?” Baekhyun asked.

Minseok rubbed the tension points above the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Do you mind keeping an eye on him tonight until I show up to get him?”

“Yes. I do mind. I mind very much. He’s not responding to anything. Why would he even want to come with us?”

“It’s not that. It’s more that… he doesn’t want to go home.”

“Why not? I’m sure it’s a super nice hotel, with a super nice pool and a super nice bar.”

“Not the hotel. I mean home, to the O.C., to see his parents,” Minseok explained.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said in understanding, but then he was confused, “Does he not like his parents? If he doesn’t like them why is he seeing them?”

“He likes his parents. It’s complicated,” Minseok said. “You have my number in your envelope. Text me or call if you need anything or if anything happens. I’ll try and get there as soon as I can.”

“But…” Baekhyun wanted to ask him how this had become his problem, but he accepted his fate and they both tried to catch up with an enthusiastic Sehun and broody Kyungsoo.

***

“It’s 2018, you gotta let this album go,” Sehun told Baekhyun as Baekhyun did his best to fly down the freeway in hopes of getting to ramen before 10.

“This album changed my life,” Baekhyun defended, “I’m never letting it go.”

“He’s released like two albums since this.”

“He’s released two albums and a compilation album full of demos since this, and I’m still not letting it go.”

“Baekhyun is the biggest Kendrick fan,” Sehun let Kyungsoo know.

For the entire drive so far, Kyungsoo had been sitting in the back, staring out the window, off in his own world and not paying attention to them. But every now and then, through his rearview mirror, Baekhyun swore he saw him glancing at them.

“Why do you keep telling him things when he’s ignoring us?” Baekhyun asked Sehun.

“He has ears. He can hear us, and he should know things about you.”

“He doesn’t need to know anything about me, and I’m never going to forgive you for this happening.”

“But he’s interested in you. He should at least know something about you,” Sehun reasoned.

“He’s not interested. He just wants to get laid.”

“I know you won’t answer,” Sehun said, turning in his seat enough to look back at Kyungsoo, “But I’ll ask anyway. If it had been me instead of him there last night, would you have invited me back?”

“Oh my God, Sehun. Have some self-respect,” Baekhyun said, reaching over to slap his friend’s leg.

“I need to know,” Sehun whined. “This could have been my fate. For the record,” he said turning his attention back to Kyungsoo, “I would have hooked up with you.”

Baekhyun drove faster, not believing Sehun was embarrassing him or himself so much like this right now.

Thankfully, they made it to the ramen place with 30 minutes to spare and were seated in a booth and given menus, which was only really for Kyungsoo’s benefit since Baekhyun and Sehun both planned on getting what they normally did.

“You should call Junes to join us,” Sehun said.

“What? Call your crush?” Baekhyun said finally having a chance to get him back for something, “Have you already given up on hooking up with D.O.?”

“D.O. likes you, not me. I’m just here to nudge you in his direction because you haven’t gotten laid in forever. I’m a good wingman like that.”

“You’re a terrible wingman. I’m firing you as wingman. I’m making Jongin my new wingman. And again, D.O. doesn’t like me. He’s just trying to sleep with me.”

“Jongin’s straight. He wouldn’t know how to be your wingman. Also, D.O. might find him more attractive than you and then you’d miss your chance.”

“If he’s straight, he wouldn’t have a chance, and obviously D.O. has better taste. Wait, no, I didn’t say that. He doesn’t like me.”

“You can call me Kyungsoo,” their tablemate finally interjected. “That’s my real name.”

“Why do you go by D.O. then?” Sehun asked.

“It’s a play on my last name, Do,” Kyungsoo told them. “At the time, I thought it would work as a stage name, but now I wish I hadn’t thought of it.”

“Why? It sounds cool,” Sehun said. “I think it works.”

Baekhyun watched Kyungsoo as he shrugged and looked back at the menu, thinking how interesting it was that he had shared that much, or even spoken at all.

When their server came back, they placed their orders for their favorite ramens, and Baekhyun ordered extra gyoza and karaage on the side and a beer.

“I only owed you ramen,” Sehun tried, but Baekhyun gave him a look that let him know he was paying for everything, and Sehun snorted, then had a sudden thought and looked at Kyungsoo, “Wait, so did you end up finding someone to hook up with last night after Baek blew you off?”

“Why would you ask him that?” Baekhyun threw a balled up napkin at Sehun.

“It’s a legit question. I’m curious,” Sehun defended, throwing it back at him. “So?” He said looking at Kyungsoo again.

“No,” Kyungsoo answered as he poured his beer into his glass. “I went back to the hotel and used my hand as was suggested.”

“You’re welcome,” Baekhyun said with a nod as he lifted his beer to him as well before drinking from it.

“Again,” Sehun said with a small chuckle as he looked at Baekhyun, “Only you.”

“If you want something done right, you should do it yourself,” Baekhyun shrugged, and he noticed Kyungsoo smile a little, then take a sip of his beer.

Their ramen came out first, and all three men dug in as if they hadn’t eaten all day. Baekhyun had half a mind to steal pork from Sehun’s bowl, finishing his own too quickly, and he made a move with his chopsticks only to have them hit by Sehun’s own.

“You owe me,” Baekhyun whined.

“I’m buying you all this. I don’t owe you anything else.”

“You owe me more pork,” Baekhyun insisted, but before he could continue to present his case, Kyungsoo’s voice interrupted.

“How long have you two known each other?”

“Too long,” Baekhyun said, focusing on the gyoza instead.

“We grew up next door to each other,” Sehun explained. “Baek’s older than me, but he was really nice and would let me play with his stuff.”

“I could tell he needed guidance, even at a young age,” Baekhyun teased.

“How much older are you?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Just two years,” Baekhyun said. “He cried when I started high school and left him behind in middle school.”

“I cry at everything though,” Sehun admitted. “But I was upset. Middle school was hard.”

“Yeah, I didn’t miss it,” Baekhyun nodded. “What about you, Kyungsoo? You grew up in Irvine, right? I looked up your band last night after I got home.”

“So you were interested,” Kyungsoo pointed out to him with a small smirk.

“Listen, when a band holds you hostage, you have to look them up and get as much information as possible before filing a police report.”

Kyungsoo snickered and Baekhyun almost felt unbalanced by it. The rock star was showing so much emotion all of a sudden and seemed a bit more relaxed. It was rather nice.

“Were you in a band in school?” Sehun asked him, looking at him with genuine interest on the subject.

“I wouldn’t call it a band,” Kyungsoo answered. “My best friend and I always tried to write songs together, and we’d do talent shows and stuff. It was just him on his guitar and me singing.”

“Would that be your drummer?” Baekhyun asked. “He’s the other one it said was from Irvine.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said with a nod, then filled his ladle so he could sip his broth.

“Baekhyun plays piano,” Sehun offered, and Baekhyun cut his eyes to him.

“Stop doing that,” he said, pretending to punch him across the table.

“I bet you’re really good at it,” Kyungsoo said, looking at him thoughtfully.

“He is,” Sehun confirmed, “But we don’t talk about it anymore. I just thought you should know.”

“Anyway, we should probably give Minseok the heads up that we’re almost done. Did you text him the address?” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo.

“Why don’t we talk about it anymore?” Kyungsoo asked instead.

“We just don’t,” Baekhyun said, his tone may have made it clear that the topic was over. “Call him.”

Kyungsoo stared at him for a moment and then took out his phone and texted Minseok.

Luckily Minseok was nearby, so Baekhyun asked their server for the check then slurped the rest of his noodles, leaving a very empty bowl.

When the check was brought to the table, Kyungsoo took it before they could and reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

“I’m supposed to get that,” Sehun pointed out.

“I got it,” Kyungsoo said. “I’m sorry I bothered you tonight. Thanks for letting me hang out with you. It made a bad day less bad.”

“You actually enjoyed all this?” Baekhyun asked. He was so confused. He had only smiled once the entire time they had been together. “You looked pretty miserable the entire time.”

“I enjoyed it,” he confirmed, handing the bill to the server, and then he looked at Sehun and said, “And to answer your question from the car, you’re very good looking. If you had been there, I would have asked you back to my hotel.”

“Stupid fate,” Sehun said with a pout that made Baekhyun cackle.

“You are so unlucky,” Baekhyun said.

“I do have the worst luck,” Sehun agreed.

“Do you?” Kyungsoo asked. “Are you doing anything tonight? We could go back to your place.”

Baekhyun almost choked on the beer he was trying to finish before they left.

“Oh shit,” Sehun said, and his cheeks got a little pink. “I… well… uh…”

“He still lives at home with his parents,” Baekhyun let him know.

“Yeah,” Sehun said, looking a little embarrassed now. “It’s just temporary. Until I get married or something.”

“Which isn’t happening anytime soon,” Baekhyun added.

“You never know. Junes could wake up one day and realize I’m the one.”

“He has a girlfriend?”

“He’ll get over that,” Sehun waved off.

Minseok walked in just as the server came back with Kyungsoo’s receipt, which he signed really quick, and then the three men got up.

“Sorry we didn’t save you any leftovers,” Baekhyun told the manager.

“It’s fine. Thank you for babysitting.”

“Anytime,” Sehun said with enthusiasm.

“No, not anytime,” Baekhyun made clear.

Kyungsoo looked at him for a moment, a long moment, and then left with Minseok, and Baekhyun let out a large sigh of relief.

The cool breeze of the night kept them company as the two friends walked back to Baekhyun’s car, and Sehun remarked, “He really likes you.”

“He doesn’t.”

“You were sitting beside him. You couldn’t notice. I had the view of him the entire time. He kept looking toward you, and glancing at you, and smiling. Well half-smiling. And he wasn’t looking at you like he just wanted to get into your pants either.”

“You know nothing,” Baekhyun teased him, scrunching up his nose. “Let me get you home before your parents kill me for keeping you out past your bedtime.”

“Oh my God, I’m never going to hear the end of this from my mom. Let’s go,” he said.

That night when he got home, Baekhyun uploaded his pics to his laptop and started scrolling through them, barely remembering how annoyed he had been when taking them. Kyungsoo photographed beautifully without trying and Baekhyun hated how he kept feeling compelled to stop and stare at each of the pictures for longer than usual.

The ones where Kyungsoo had been sitting on the beach staring out at the water were filled with emotion even if the subject lacked them, but that’s when Baekhyun realized that Kyungsoo hadn’t been lacking emotion at all. As he took a close look at the pictures, he could make out the familiar look in Kyungsoo’s eyes of things that Baekhyun very much related to – uncertainty, stress, loneliness.

Baekhyun closed his laptop and tried to snuggle under his comforter to fall asleep, but he kept thinking of the look on Kyungsoo’s face and what he had said at the end of their dinner.

_“Thanks for letting me hang out with you. It made a bad day less bad.”_

As he drifted to sleep, Baekhyun had to admit that his day hadn’t really been bad at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Baekhyun felt in his element, listening to his Kendrick Spotify playlist and finishing up the last of the edits he was making to Kyungsoo’s photos.

“You headed to the beach today?” His roommate, Junmyeon, asked him, standing in the doorway eating something vegan as he always did.

“Yeah after I finish these pics up.”

“Are these the ones of that band that tried to kidnap you?” Junmyeon said as he walked over to look over Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Oh wow, those came out nice.”

“Yeah, the lead singer,” Baekhyun said having to agree. They did come out nice, but he didn’t think that had anything to do with his photography skills. Kyungsoo had an aura about him that came through vividly in photographs.

“Sehun wasn’t lying. He is really good looking. In a dark and mysterious way.”

“I guess,” Baekhyun shrugged. “Are you coming to the beach?”

“No, I was just asking to see if you wanted to run some errands today. We’re out of paper towels again.”

“We can do that. I’ll just tell Sehun I’ll meet him later.”

“He can come with too if he’s bored,” Junmyeon said, popping the last of whatever the vegan thing was in his mouth.

“Nah, Jongin’s working today, so he’ll go hang out with him anyway.”

Baekhyun finished up the photos and sent them to the email address on Minseok’s business card. He was happy to be done because staring at Kyungsoo that much had made him think about dumb things, like how nice it’d be to photograph him when he was happy and how it seemed weird that he’d never see him again.

On the car ride to the store, Baekhyun thought about how Kyungsoo had been like a phantom in his life – a hallucination that had only existed for such a brief moment that it couldn’t have been real. Nothing about Kyungsoo had seemed real anyway so it was the only explanation.

“Did I tell you about the part where he just randomly interjected his name mid-conversation?” Baekhyun mentioned to Junmyeon who pulled into the shopping plaza.

“You did,” his roommate said with a small smile.

“It was all just so weird.”

“Sehun made it sound like he really liked you.”

“Sehun is crazy. Whatever he told you, it’s all lies. Don’t listen to him.”

“Well, neither of you are really objective, so I imagine the truth is somewhere in the middle,” Junmyeon said with a small chuckle.

They finished their grocery shopping in good time, and Baekhyun texted Sehun to let him know he’d head to the beach soon. Back at the apartment, while putting their groceries away, Baekhyun’s phone rang with a number he didn’t recognize. He’d normally let it go to voicemail, but he decided to be nice and pick it up so he could let the person know they probably had the wrong number.

“Baekhyun?” Minseok’s voice said. “It’s Minseok.”

“Oh hey,” Baekhyun said, wondering why he had called.

“Your pictures came out amazing. I can’t believe you don’t do this professionally.”

“It’s just because Kyungsoo is a compelling subject. Even when he’s not doing anything,” he said, and then hoped that didn’t sound like a compliment. Shit, it probably sounded like a compliment. “I just mean he’s obviously photogenic.”

“He is, but these pictures are more than just that,” Minseok said. “Are you busy today? Kyungsoo liked the pictures but wants to try again and give you better poses.”

“He wants to… really?” Baekhyun felt confused all over again. “I’m actually kind of busy today,” he lied.

“What about tomorrow?”

“Oh, I have plans,” he lied again. “You know, I can recommend other real photographers to you guys who can do it. I know a bunch.”

“Even if it’s just 30 minutes,” Minseok said, “Is there any way to squeeze it in?”

Baekhyun didn’t know how to respond. Why was Kyungsoo always so persistent? Probably because he was used to getting whatever he wanted, Baekhyun reasoned to himself.

“I’m headed to the beach today. If he wants to show up, that’s fine,” Baekhyun relented.

“Great. Thank you. Which beach?”

“Huntington.”

“Where should we meet you?”

Baekhyun thought for a moment then smirked and said, “He’ll have to find me.”

“I’ll… let him know. See you, or not, in a few.”

“Cool,” Baekhyun said, and he hung up and found Junmyeon looking at him while eating a celery stick he had broken off the stalk while putting it away. “He wants to do another photoshoot,” Baekhyun explained to him.

“I got that,” he said with a smile.

“He’s very persistent. I don’t know why he wants to do another one when he barely seemed to want to do the first one,” Baekhyun explained. He rearranged the bread on the counter. “I probably should have just hooked up with him at the show so that he never bothered me again. If I had known.”

“People are drawn to you,” Junmyeon said, finishing his celery stick and opening the fridge back up to take out one of the juice presses he had just bought and put away. “I don’t find any of this surprising. He probably wants to get to know you better.”

“This is all Sehun’s fault.”

Junmyeon laughed at him and left him alone in the kitchen to go back to his room.

***

“This is all your fault,” Baekhyun let Sehun know.

He had found Sehun speaking to Jongin at the life guard tower he was stationed at, and he had wasted no time in filling him in on his current predicament.

“I told you he likes you,” Sehun said with a laugh. “This is your own fault.”

“I can’t wait to meet him,” Jongin said as he leaned over the railing of the tower to talk with them. He was dressed in his red shorts and white T-shirt lifeguard uniform, a blue ball cap and sunglasses completing his look.

“I didn’t tell him where on the beach I’d be,” Baekhyun said as he kneeled down on Sehun’s beach blanket and looked through his camera case for the filter he had wanted to try out. “So he’ll never find me.”

“If he was smart,” Jongin pointed out, “He’d start at the pier and work his way north.”

“He’s from the area. He might,” Sehun said,

“Are you ready to hit the waves?” Baekhyun asked Sehun, who had zipped up his bodysuit.

“I’m always ready.”

Baekhyun followed Sehun to the shore, always feeling welcomed by the cold blanket of water that would cover his feet to say hello to him as if it had missed him too.

“There were some good swells earlier,” Sehun told him as he looked out at the waves, trying to figure out his best approach. “Let’s see what I can find.”

Baekhyun took pictures of him as he paddled out into the waves and then stopped when he was too far to get any decent shots without a telephoto lens. He smiled as he became a pure spectator, always loving how Sehun never seemed to have much figured out in life but somehow was an expert when it came to this.

It was meant to be Sehun’s career. Baekhyun remembered all of Sehun’s surfing competitions he’d attend while they were growing up and all of his close wins, though he had never quite managed to get the top spot in any rankings. It never stopped Sehun from trying, and he practiced harder each day, determined to win, but…

“Found you.”

Baekhyun was startled out of his thoughts as he looked over to see that Kyungsoo now stood beside him, this time at least in shorts and a tee and a pair of flip flops. There was also a tiny smile present on his face, and Baekhyun blinked at him a few times.

“You did,” he said, still a little stunned, less by being found, and more by how relaxed Kyungsoo seemed to be.

“It wasn’t that hard,” Kyungsoo pointed out. “I just started at the pier and headed north.”

“Right,” Baekhyun said, looking down at the camera in his hand and back up at Kyungsoo. “Should we get started then? Where’s Minseok?”

“He went south of the pier, just in case.”

Baekhyun nodded, “Good strategy. So, ready?”

Kyungsoo nodded and kicked off his flip flops toward the dryer part of the sand to avoid having the waves wash them away. He then stood in the water, making a small grimace at how cold the water felt.

Baekhyun caught the shot.

In fact, he caught a lot of great shots: Kyungsoo passing his hand through his hair after the wind blew it about, Kyungsoo jumping out of the way of a bigger wave, Kyungsoo almost falling into a deceptively strong wave, Kyungsoo using his toes to create little circles in the sand, Kyungsoo helping retrieve a floating toy for a kid that it had gotten away from, and so on, each moment showing a humanity that Baekhyun had not been privy to in all their prior encounters.

Baekhyun was so caught up in capturing everything that he almost missed Sehun coming in on a really good wave, and he pointed it out to Kyungsoo before quickly capturing him cresting as he rode the wave back into shore.

“Nice one,” Baekhyun said, giving him a hi-five after he had ran over to him with his board.

“I was hoping you got it. Oh, hey, Kyungsoo!” Sehun said with a big smile.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said to Sehun, also smiling wider than they had seen before. “That was really cool.”

“Thanks,” Sehun said.

Baekhyun noticed Jongin jogging over to them and then giving Sehun a hi-five as well.

“I didn’t think you’d catch it,” Jongin told him.

“I almost missed it,” Sehun admitted.

“Jongin, this is Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun introduced. “Kyungsoo, this is another one of our best friends Jongin.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Jongin said extending his hand for a shake along with his trademark smile that pageant queens would have killed for.

“Nice to meet you as well,” Kyungsoo said shaking his hand, and Baekhyun again was struck by how this was all very different. He was starting to suspect this wasn’t the same Kyungsoo that was the lead singer of Exodus.

“It looks like a good swell might be coming,” Jongin then said to Sehun, nodding out at the ocean.

“Yeah, I sensed that while I was out there. Wish me luck,” Sehun said, grabbing his board and heading back into the water.

“Now I see why you only take pictures of the beach,” Kyungsoo mentioned, turning his attention back to Baekhyun, or maybe it had already been on him and he hadn’t noticed. “This is your life.”

“This is my escape,” Baekhyun corrected him. “My life is back at my apartment and my 9-5 job that I go to every weekday.”

“An even better reason then,” Kyungsoo said, his head at a slight angle as he gave him another small smile.

Baekhyun stared at him, mesmerized by how he looked with the blue water shimmering behind him and the sun hitting him at just the right angle to make his lightly tanned skin glow.

And then he was shattered out of his staring by a piercing whistle.

“Sorry, gotta go work,” Jongin explained as he ran toward a group of kids that seemed to have gotten a bit too far out from shore.

“Um, wanna take some pics on the pier?” Baekhyun said, clearing his throat and motioning in that direction.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo nodded.

They walked without speaking back toward the pier, Baekhyun pausing to take a pic of some kids enjoying the colorful flower-shaped pinwheels that were rotating courtesy of the ocean breeze.

Kyungsoo then walked over to one and held it up, making a cute face as he pretended to be blowing the flower pinwheel in his hand.

Baekhyun laughed as he took the picture and then a few more before they continued their walk down the long pier, passing by pier performers and people fishing off the sides.

“You’re not at all the same person I met last week,” Baekhyun finally told him. “I’m starting to think you’re that guy’s twin.”

“I wasn’t in the greatest mood,” Kyungsoo said.

“Well I’m glad you’re in a better mood now. It’s easier to take pictures of you this way.”

“Being back home tends to put me in a better mood,” Kyungsoo said. “For the most part.”

“That makes sense. You must get homesick being in Korea all the time,” Baekhyun reasoned.

“No, Korea feels like home too. It’s complicated,” he said, then he followed Baekhyun’s point, leaning against the railing for him.

“That does sound complicated,” Baekhyun said as he took the shots he had envisioned in this spot. They were coming out even better than he had hoped thanks to his subject. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever lived here.”

“In Huntington?” Kyungsoo asked, switching his position a little to shift the angle.

“No, I grew up in Fullerton. I work in Huntington, so I moved here to be closer to work.”

“That’s shocking. You and Sehun seem to have grown up on the beach.”

“Sehun always loved the beach, and as he got better at surfing, his parents moved to Huntington so he could be closer to make it easier for him to practice and meet up with his coach. I was sad about him moving at first, but then got over it when it meant I could spend the night at his place and we could wake up and go to the beach all the time. I practically moved into his house each summer,” Baekhyun said with a warm smile, then motioned for Kyungsoo to walk with him as they moved further up the pier.

“So he’s a professional surfer?”

“No, he has a boring office job like I do. He works at a marketing company that makes him work late all the time on projects. On the side, he helps out with his friend’s online zine, covering shows and doing album reviews. He was the one that was supposed to take pictures of you that night, not me.”

“Why isn’t he a professional surfer?”

Before Baekhyun could answer, they were bombarded by a very happy man eating an ice cream cone.

“Hey, found you!” The man said with the most infectious smile Baekhyun had ever seen.

“Oh good, you found him,” Minseok said, coming up right behind the other guy.

“Yeah, he was north of the pier,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“I figured,” Minseok nodded.

“ _Annyeo_ …, sorry, habit, hey, I’m Jongdae,” the other man said, laughing seemingly to himself.

“ _Annyeonghaseyo_ ,” Baekhyun said, bowing to the man politely and then laughing as well. “I’m Baekhyun, and that’s all the Korean I’ve got for you.”

“It’s nice to finally meet the person I was supposed to be looking for on the pier,” Jongdae said with another laugh. His accent was lighter than Minseok’s, but not by much. “I didn’t even have a picture to go off of. I was just told to look for the really cute Korean guy with a camera.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, possibly blushing.

“Jongdae wasn’t really looking,” Minseok then ratted him out. “I found him on Main Street eating a burger and then he spent his whole time on the pier eating ice cream and hot dogs. Wait, is that your second ice cream?”

“We’re off tour for a while, I can let myself go a little,” Jongdae said with another laugh, offering some of his ice cream to Kyungsoo who shook his head.

Baekhyun looked Jongdae over and had a hard time believing he was capable of gaining weight. He was tiny, shorter than Baekhyun by at least an inch, and very proportionate in his smallness, unlike Baekhyun’s own body, which felt like it was intended for someone who was supposed to have grown a bit taller than he had.

“How’s the shoot going?” Minseok then asked Baekhyun.

“Much better than last time,” he said, moving to stand beside him so he could show him some of the shots.

“Oh wow, those are really good,” Jongdae said, having peeked his head in between them to look. “You can use those for your solo album,” he then said to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo shrugged with one shoulder and looked off at the ocean.

“I have cash for you. Should I give you the same amount as last time?” Minseok asked him.

“What?” Baekhyun looked surprised by this. It hadn’t even occurred to him to ask for more money to do this. “Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Of course we do. We’ve taken up your time again.”

“I was just hanging out. It’s okay. Consider it a friend’s discount,” Baekhyun said with a smile, hoping he’d let it go. It wasn’t that he couldn’t use the money, but the offer had made the situation weird again.

“Let us buy you and your friends dinner then,” Kyungsoo said, turning his attention back to him. “I’m sure Sehun is starving after all that surfing.”

“Our crew never says no to food. Nini gets off duty soon. I’ll go let them know.”

The news that food was being bought for them made both Sehun and Jongin hurry, Jongin giving an update to the lifeguard base as he made sure his equipment was back in place. Sehun changed in the bathroom out of his gear and into his shorts and tee. They threw Sehun’s gear and Baekhyun’s camera equipment in the trunk then met up with the other three at the start of the pier where they had been waiting for them.

“Any recommendations?” Minseok asked them.

“Duke’s is really good,” Baekhyun said as he pointed to a restaurant by the pier. “It’s a bit pricey though, but they have really good poke tacos.”

“I love their poke tacos,” Sehun said with a nod.

“Duke’s it is,” Minseok said, motioning with his arm for them to lead the way.

Baekhyun felt a little bad because it was a bit expensive, but he reasoned it’d be cheaper than the money Minseok had intended to give him in the first place.

They were seated at a table for six right by the window so they could take in the perfect beach view. Minseok ordered them enough poke tacos for the whole table to start, along with some other appetizers of their choosing.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a real surfer before,” Jongdae said to Sehun. “That’s very cool.”

“He has a competition coming up,” Baekhyun let him know, pride evident in his voice.

“Don’t jinx it,” Sehun said with a pout, and then he explained, “I wiped out majorly at the last one.”

“He’ll do great. Sehun’s the best,” Jongin said, patting the back of Sehun’s shoulder then taking a drink of his water.

“You told me he wasn’t a professional surfer,” Kyungsoo mentioned to Baekhyun.

“He used to be,” Baekhyun explained. “He’s trying to get back into it.”

“What made you get out of it?” Jongdae went ahead and asked.

“A bad injury,” Sehun explained. “I messed up on my timing but still tried to catch the wave, ended up flipping with my board coming down right on my head.”

“He almost drowned,” Jongin said, looking sobered by it all over again.

Baekhyun would never forget that day, and he recounted it for the others at the table.

“He was underwater for almost three minutes before the rescue boat got to him. They pulled him out unconscious and gave him CPR. He was in the hospital for a week recovering.”

“I wanted to get back in the water,” Sehun continued, “But my parents were too freaked out and pulled their support. So I had to finish college and get a job that could pay for my surfing habit so I could start competing again.”

“I don’t blame your parents,” Minseok said. “That’s scary.”

“I don’t either,” Sehun nodded. “I get it. But I can’t just give up on my dream like that. I learned a lot that day. It’s not a mistake I’ve made since. If anything, it’s taught me to respect the water even more.”

“That’s one of the first lessons you learn in the guard,” Jongin added in after wiping his mouth, having devoured two poke tacos in the time they had been talking. “Respect the water.”

“And I don’t think I’ve ever met a real lifeguard before,” Jongdae said laughing as he turned his attention to Jongin. “Do you surf too?”

“No, but I did competitive swimming in high school.”

“You’re an athletic bunch,” Kyungsoo noted, turning his attention to Baekhyun, “What’s your sport?”

“I don’t really have one,” Baekhyun stated, but he should have known his friends weren’t going to let him get away with that.

“He’s a really good skateboarder,” Sehun said.

“I’m not really good. I can get from point A to point B.”

“Baekhyun suffers from being good at everything, which gives him the false illusion that he’s not good at anything,” Sehun explained to them.

“He was this close to becoming a concert pianist,” Jongin said pinching his index finger close to his thumb.

“We don’t talk about that,” Baekhyun whined.

“Yeah, we don’t talk about that,” Sehun said, taking a swipe at Jongin’s arm.

“He’s also an amazing photographer,” Jongin pointed out, elbowing Sehun back. “He’s a really good skateboarder. He’s an awesome singer. He won most likely to succeed in high school. He just got a big promotion at his job. I could keep going.”

“Please do,” Kyungsoo said, looking way too interested in what Jongin said, and Baekhyun waved his arms to put an end to it.

“No, we’re done talking about me. So you’re doing a solo album?”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to lose interest, reaching instead for one of the few remaining poke tacos.

“He wants to,” Jongdae explained. “But he’s not sure what type of solo album he wants to do. I’ve given him suggestions and ideas, but he’s being difficult about it.”

“Keith Richards once said that Mick Jagger going solo was all about ego. The songs he did alone, he could have done with the Stones,” Kyungsoo said looking at his bandmate in a calm way, as if this was a conversation they’d had casually many times

“Keith Richards snorted his father’s ashes with his coke,” Jongdae said with a big smile. “I’m not sure this is the person you should be channeling for advice on your solo career.”

“I’m just saying,” Kyungsoo said. “I don’t want to make an album that sounds like I should have just saved myself the trouble and made it with the band.”

“Your voice is really soulful,” Baekhyun then pointed out. “I was surprised by that at the show. Maybe you should do R&B.”

“I told him that,” Jongdae agreed. “He used to do Bieber covers back in the day.”

“How did you go from Bieber to the conceptual rock thing you do now?” Baekhyun asked with a laugh.

“It’s a long story,” Kyungsoo waved off, and it wasn’t one he’d tell that day since he switched the topic back to Sehun’s surfing instead.

They enjoyed their food, Baekhyun feeling so stuffed that he thought he might need to grab his skateboard from his trunk and work some of it off.

Minseok paid the bill when they were done and they walked back across the street to the pier to go their separate ways.

“Thanks again for feeding us,” Baekhyun told him. “I’ll send the pics probably tomorrow when I have more time.”

“Sounds good,” Minseok nodded, “And thank you again for your time.”

Baekhyun nodded and started to wave goodbye to them to make his exit, but Kyungsoo looked a bit concerned and put his hand out, then took it back. Baekhyun cocked his head a little, wondering if he was going to say something.

“When can we meet up again?” Kyungsoo then asked him.

“Uh…” Baekhyun looked toward Sehun and Jongin for help, but they suddenly found something interesting to point out to Jongdae and Minseok, causing them all to step away from Baekhyun and Kyungsoo to give them what appeared to be privacy. “Uh..” he said again, looking back at Kyungsoo.

“Me and you,” Kyungsoo clarified. “Maybe this time, just the two of us. Without anyone else around.”

“I’m really busy,” Baekhyun said. “And really I think I’ve exhausted all my photoshoot ideas with you.”

“Not to take pictures,” he said, his gaze on him a bit darker now, as if needing Baekhyun to understand something. “Just to… hang out. I like hanging out with you.”

“You do? Why?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, then said, “You’re different. You’re calming.”

“Is that a pickup line? Are you still trying to get in my pants? Because that’s still not happening.”

“No,” Kyungsoo said, and then he shook his head to himself, “Forget it. I’m sorry I bothered you so much.”

But he hadn’t really. Baekhyun had genuinely enjoyed today, and he did like getting to know a bit more about Kyungsoo each time it happened. He bit his lip and looked at the man who hadn’t made any motion to leave. He just stood there, staring down the pier as the ocean breeze played with his black hair.

“Maybe we can hang out next weekend,” Baekhyun relented. “I was thinking of hitting up Palos Verdes for some shots. That’s pretty calming if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Kyungsoo looked at him, his eyes showing relief that the rest of his face didn’t, and he nodded and said, “Sounds good.”

“Give me your phone,” Baekhyun then instructed him.

Kyungsoo pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to him without saying anything, and Baekhyun put in his phone number and email, then took a cute selfie of himself holding up a peace sign, assigning it to the contact, then sent himself a text so he could have Kyungsoo’s number as well.

“Hold still,” Baekhyun said after he gave Kyungsoo his phone back, and he took a quick pic of him with his phone and assigned it to his name. “Okay, we’ll coordinate what time we should meet. Or I can swing by and pick you up. That probably makes more sense.”

Kyungsoo nodded but said nothing, seeming to have hidden behind that weird invisible wall of his all of a sudden. He turned to motion to Minseok he was ready and Baekhyun just watched him, feeling confused, and trying to understand what had turned him off.

“So are you guys going on a date?” Sehun teased, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun’s waist and smiling.

“No, we’re just going to hang out…” Baekhyun trailed off as he kept watching Kyungsoo walk away, not replying to anything Minseok or Jongdae said as he walked alongside them staring down at his phone instead of interacting. “He’s so weird. He was like normal all day today, and now all of a sudden he just shut off.”

“Rock stars are weird people,” Sehun agreed, letting him go so he could stretch his arms above his head.

“They must suffer for their art, or something,” Jongin said with a laugh. “Anyway, I’m heading home to power nap. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Baekhyun and Sehun said their goodbyes to Jongin and then walked to their cars, which they had inadvertently ended up parking near the other.

“Don’t overthink this, Baek,” Sehun then said to him as Baekhyun pulled his skateboard out of his trunk. His best friend knew him too well, but he really had been intending on getting his mind off things so he didn’t do just that.

“I just need to work off some of this food.”

“Mhm,” Sehun said knowing better. “He just likes you. It’s not rocket science. And you like him too.”

“I don’t like him,” Baekhyun said, closing his trunk and giving him a funny look.

“You’re intrigued by him, which is essentially the same thing. Just have fun with it, okay? It’s been too long since you’ve had fun with someone in that way.”

“In what way? What are you talking about?” Baekhyun said, laughing off whatever Sehun was trying to imply and reaching up to mess up his newly dried hair. “Stop worrying about me, Sehunnie. I’ve got everything under control.”

“If you say so,” Sehun said with his own chuckle, and he gave Baekhyun a quick hug before heading to his car.

Baekhyun took off on his skateboard, heading north of the pier again and doing his best to enjoy the sun hanging low in the horizon as he did everything in his power to not think at all about Kyungsoo.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about how he had shut off, just as he couldn’t stop thinking about how open he had been with them today to begin with. He didn’t think he liked him, but Sehun was very right in that he was intrigued by him.


	4. Chapter 4

Baekhyun had thought it safer to meet Kyungsoo at his place, not sure that he wanted him to know where he lived. It was mostly that since he had been so persistent, he wouldn’t put it past him to just show up unannounced to hang out or take more pictures or whatever he would come up with.

“It’s hot out there,” Junmyeon warned him as he finished packing up his bag. “Put on a lot of sunscreen.”

“Yes, dad,” Baekhyun told him, already having applied some but double checking the side pocket of his bag to make sure he had brought it. Once sunscreen was confirmed, Baekhyun headed out, following his GPS to the address that Kyungsoo had texted him.

Since Kyungsoo was some famous rock star in Korea, Baekhyun had been expecting a lavish house in Irvine with a manicured lawn and three sports cars parked outside. Instead, he got a condo building in Newport Beach, discovering the reason for the dash at the end of the number of his street address. He took the stairs to the second floor, knocking on the outside door which had a nice view of the ocean, even though the condo wasn’t on the beach.

After a minute, he knocked again, a little louder, wondering if Kyungsoo was still asleep. He had texted him to let him know he was on his way, but Baekhyun then realized that Kyungsoo had never texted back. Great. What if he had forgotten and was out?

He sighed and knocked again after a couple more minutes, taking his phone out to text Minseok instead. He was almost done with texting when he heard the door finally unlock.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo said, opening the door for him to come in. “I just woke up.”

Baekhyun took in the T-shirt and boxers of the sleepy man and sighed, stepping in and nodding.

“I figured you forgot.”

“I didn’t forget. Just overslept. Give me a few.”

Baekhyun sighed again and watched Kyungsoo disappear into what he figured was his bedroom. He decided to look around, learning what he could through the furniture and decorations, but everything seemed generic. The living room perfectly decorated like straight out of a magazine, with woods and warm tones. The pictures on the wall weren’t personal, more generic paintings of the ocean that Baekhyun was sure he’d seen a dozen times before. He couldn’t even find a picture of his parents, who he apparently liked even though it was complicated.

Baekhyun took in the view through the sliding glass door that led out to a large front balcony, rows of condos stretched out all the way to where the blue of the ocean made its appearance. He always dreamed of living in a place like this with a similar view.

He then heard a voice that was not Kyungsoo’s, and Baekhyun froze. He paid closer attention, it was a female voice, and then Kyungsoo’s voice saying something, and then the girl again, and Baekhyun leaned in the direction of the bedroom but couldn’t make out the actual words.

There was silence and then the sound of a shower, and then a few more moments passed before the door opened and Baekhyun turned to see a girl with a bag and heels in her hand rushing out of the bedroom. She noticed him but said nothing as she ran her hand through her messy hair and saw her way out.

Okay, this was normal, Baekhyun thought to himself. Naturally Mr. Rock Star had girls in and out of his place at all times. It made perfect sense. It did. And he needed to stop feeling confused and annoyed by it because it was totally and completely sensible and normal.

Although, he couldn’t help that the annoyed look had stayed on his face when Kyungsoo emerged from his room, freshly showered in board shorts and a tee, his hair wet and brushed back away from his face. He had a messenger bag over his shoulder and found his keys, sliding them in.

“I’m ready,” Kyungsoo said, heading to the door to put on his sandals.

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out how to relax again.

They went downstairs, and Baekhyun unlocked his car for them, sliding in and letting his playlist blast as he pulled out of the condo complex and made his way to the freeway.

“If you had other plans today, you could have canceled,” Baekhyun said.

“I didn’t,” Kyungsoo said, looking over at him, definitely noticing his shift in attitude. “I’m sorry I wasn’t ready.”

“Was that your girlfriend?”

“Why would I make my girlfriend leave?”

“So you’re a hit it and kick them out kind of guy. Good to know.”

“I let her stay the night,” Kyungsoo defended.

“I guess that’s something,” Baekhyun shrugged.

“Do you let your one night stands stay the night?” Kyungsoo asked with a slight playfulness to his eyes.

“I don’t do one night stands?” Baekhyun replied, as if Kyungsoo should have guessed that much about him by now.

“Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

“No. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“You asked me, so I get to ask you in return.”

“I didn’t ask if you had one, just if she was one.”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend and/or boyfriend?” And this time Baekhyun glanced over to see that Kyungsoo seemed to be mocking him.

“None of your business.”

Kyungsoo snorted and turned his attention back out the window, more than likely amused with himself and not caring that on top of Baekhyun having to drive the opposite direction to pick him up, he had now put them behind schedule and would be arriving at the beach during the harshest light of the day.

They didn’t say much to each other on the drive outside of Kyungsoo remarking “You really do like Kendrick” and Baekhyun asking him if he needed to stop to get a snack or anything.

Once Baekhyun had parked on the street, close to the head of the trail, he explained to Kyungsoo that they were going to hike down.

“You could have warned me about that before I chose sandals,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“It’s an easy hike. I usually do it in sandals.”

They got out of the car, and Baekhyun led the way, adjusting his Angels cap to combat the sharp rays of sun pouring down on him. The sight of the ocean, nestled between the mountains never stopped amazing him every single time he began making the descent into the bluff, and he peeked over his shoulder at Kyungsoo to see what his reaction was to it, but he was too busy looking down at the ground and watching his step.

“Pause,” Baekhyun said, stretching out his hand to physically stop him from walking forward. “You have to stop here and take it all in.”

Kyungsoo followed the instructions and looked up, his lips twitching up a little as he took it in.

“This is really nice,” he commented, pulling out his phone from his messenger bag to take a picture of it.

“It’s the best part of this beach. The other side of the beach is private, only residents and members of the beach club are allowed on it. If we kept hiking that way,” Baekhyun said pointing in the direction he meant, “we’d run into the lighthouse.”

“How many pictures do you have of that lighthouse?” Kyungsoo asked as he put his phone back in his bag.

“Too many to count,” Baekhyun affirmed with a smile.

“So they don’t let just anyone swim here?” Kyungsoo asked as Baekhyun motioned for them to start hiking again.

“No. And forget about surfing here. They have a pretty notorious surf gang that keeps outsiders from hitting their waves. People have gotten seriously injured by them for even trying.”

“Wait, surf gang? What?”

“Yeah, this group of middle-aged men who are rich and have nothing better to do than to call themselves the Bay Boys and throw rocks at outsiders while vandalizing their cars.”

“Wait, what?” Kyungsoo asked again. “Is this real?”

“Yeah, lots of places have surf gangs, but the one here is the most notorious.”

“But why?” Kyungsoo had picked up his pace to walk closer to Baekhyun, apparently very intrigued by this information.

“Surfers are very territorial about their waves,” Baekhyun explained with a shake of his head.

“Is Sehun in a surf gang?”

Baekhyun let out a very animated large laugh, even making sure to double over at one point to highlight the ludicrousness of the statement.

“Does Sehun seem like he’d be in a surf gang?” Baekhyun then asked when he had caught his breath again. “Please, Sehun’s the kindest, most docile person on the planet. He’s all about peace and love and everyone getting along.”

“He’s never been attacked by one, right?”

Baekhyun felt a little warm at Kyungsoo’s sudden concern for Sehun, and he assuaged his fears.

“No, Sehunnie knows where to go and where not to. He hates missing out on some good waves, but he’s not dumb.”

“It’s not fair. The ocean doesn’t belong to anyone. It belongs to all of us.”

“That was such a rock star PSA. Hi, I’m The Weeknd. Save the whales,” Baekhyun teased, laughing at his own joke.

“Hi, I’m Kendrick Lamar. Save me from Baekhyun.”

“Hi, I’m Kyungsoo. Help me make a solo album.”

“That was a low blow,” Kyungsoo said, but he was smiling, his lips even slightly parted as he did so.

“So was Kendrick. Kendrick would love me if he ever met me.”

“I’m not… Well he’d be amused at least,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun wondered why he didn’t just go with the insult, but he took it anyway.

“He would. Alright, I’m going to climb those rocks to get my shot. You… do whatever you want.”

Kyungsoo nodded at him, and Baekhyun set off to his favorite patch of rocks to shoot from. He left his sandals on the last bit of dirt from the trail and positioned his feet in the sand to take a steady stance as he tried his best to get some good shots in the terrible mid-day light.

“Hello to you too,” he said softly to the cool water and foam that lapped over his feet before receding back into the ocean.

He decided to experiment with some filters to make the most of the conditions and got some cool glow effects that he hadn’t been trying to get nor knew he could. When he finally took a break to peek at Kyungsoo, he noticed that he was sitting in the sand, a notebook on his lap as he wrote some things down. Maybe lyrics for his new solo album, Baekhyun deduced.

When his hands began to move his camera, he realized that he was suddenly incapable of not taking a picture of Kyungsoo. He zoomed in a bit to get the perfect figure in the frame, looking both frustrated and lost as he bit his lip and scribbled something down. He was hypnotizing to watch, much as he had been on stage with his soulful voice and tight pants.

Baekhyun slapped his cheek.

“Get it together, Baek,” he scolded himself, moving to a new location, closer to the base of the cliff where the surf made contact, sending up sprays of water that benefited from the light shining right upon it and giving it a sparkly glow.

Normally Baekhyun would be entranced by the rhythm of the waves, but he found himself a bit distracted, thinking about the man on the sand, and he took another peek over his shoulder and caught Kyungsoo staring at him then quickly looking away.

_He likes you._

He could hear Sehun’s voice in his head, but he wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by it. Did Kyungsoo like him because he thought he was cute and wanted to sleep with him, or did Kyungsoo like hanging out with him, finding a less complicated situation than whatever he was dealing with in Irvine? The first scenario made the most sense to him after what he had witnessed that morning, but he liked the idea of the second one much better. He supposed there was only one way to find out.

Baekhyun hopped over small waves on his way back toward Kyungsoo, playing with the energetic water and laughing when a wave was bigger than he expected and slapped him mid-calf.

“Sneaky,” Baekhyun told the wave, sticking his tongue out at it before turning to walk up the sand and to Kyungsoo who stared at him. “Hey,” Baekhyun said, “Next time, if there is a next time, you’ll have to wear sneakers and then I can take you to Sacred Cove. It’s pretty inspiring, and I think you’d like it.”

“What’s Sacred Cove?” Kyungsoo asked, raising his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked up at an angle that the brim of his ballcap didn’t cover.

“It’s this rocky cove, like a small cave indented into the mountain. It’s like something straight out of a pirate movie.”

“Sounds cool.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun nodded, sitting beside him and peeking toward the notebook, “What are you writing?”

“Ideas,” Kyungsoo answered, more candidly than Baekhyun had expected.

“For your solo album?”

“No. Just in general. For anything. Maybe our next band album, or maybe a solo album, or maybe for another band. Who knows.”

“That’s so cool,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “Can I read it?”

“No,” Kyungsoo said, closing the notebook to make it clear.

“Inspiration is personal,” Baekhyun nodded. “I get it. Do you have a muse? The ocean is my muse, I guess.”

“The ocean is definitely your muse,” Kyungsoo said with a small chuckle. “I… um… I don’t know. I had a muse. I lost it. I had another. Lost it. I guess it’s like your waves. They come and go.”

“That’s good though. It changes things up,” Baekhyun said as he dug his toes into the sand, wiggling them to break up the sand above them.

“How do you not get tired of photographing the same thing over and over?”

“It’s my personality,” Baekhyun explained. “I’m a bit obsessive. I learn best by repetition and feel calm when things are the same. It’s why I’m not big on traveling and stuff. I’ve never gone further north than Santa Barbara, and even that felt too far away from home.”

“That’s… interesting,” Kyungsoo said, cocking his head a little to stare at him as if having to find physical evidence of this new information. “My personality is the opposite. I’m okay with chaos and need things to change and be different, otherwise I feel stagnant and… not as alive, I guess.”

“That explains you picking up different people and having one-night stands then,” Baekhyun said in maybe too snarky of a way.

“Kind of,” Kyungsoo said, not seeming to be bothered by Baekhyun’s judgment. “I get bored easily. My life has been boring for a couple of years now. I try anything to make it interesting again. You never know who you might meet. Any one-night-stand could be my next muse.”

“How has your life been boring? You’re literally a huge rock star,” Baekhyun said, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Being a rock star is one of the most boring things a person can be,” Kyungsoo said, putting his notebook to the side to draw up his knees to his chest and hug them. “I didn’t start a band with my best friend to be a rock star. I did it because I loved music, and we were really good at making it together. Next thing I know, we’ve hit a chord with people and suddenly we’re selling out arenas and have fan sites devoted to us and people sending us gifts saying that we saved their lives. It’s hard to process.”

“Is that when you began to change as a person?” Baekhyun went ahead and asked. “The night of the show, the other guy in the photo pit was a fan of you guys and he was telling me all this stuff. Like how you’re not known for being nice, and how you’re rude to industry people and don’t show up to shoots and stuff.”

“I guess,” Kyungsoo shrugged, turning his attention to the sea, and to Baekhyun, that made his answer more definitively a “yes.” “As things changed,” he then continued, “I guess I did too. I can’t pinpoint a moment. I just remember at some point I was bored by everything, so then I started to see what I could get away with instead, and when it turned out I could get away with anything without any real negative consequence, I got bored all over again.”

“I think the fact that you’re bored is a real negative consequence,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo shrugged and he looked back at him. “I’m not bored when I’m with you though. So there’s that.”

“Which is weird because I’m the most boring person in the world.”

“I think you’re the opposite. I think you and your friends are the most exciting people I’ve met in the past two years. I think it’s because you remind me a lot of who I used to be, back when it was just me and my best friend in high school hanging out and dreaming about things that we never thought would really happen.”

“Hey, Sehun is very much going to win that surfing competition.”

“I’m sure he will,” Kyungsoo said with a soft smile. “But he hasn’t yet. You don’t realize until it’s too late that the journey is the best part. Winning is whatever. But everything he’s done to get there is what’s really the fun part for him, whether he’s aware of it or not.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Baekhyun said, now turning to look away at the ocean. It kept him steady when things he didn’t like to think about began to surface in his mind.

“Why not?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Just from my own personal experience,” Baekhyun shrugged. “Hey, do you want to take some pictures? The lighting’s still not great, but I want to try this filter effect I randomly discovered with an actual person in the shot.”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo said.

They both got up, dusting sand off their shorts, and headed back toward the cliff wall. Baekhyun instructed Kyungsoo on where exactly to stand so Baekhyun could make sure he got both him and the crashing waves behind him.

If his smile didn’t give him away, his enthusiastic wave for Kyungsoo to come over and see the pics showed how satisfied he was with the outcome.

“That looks amazing,” Kyungsoo told him, his eyes big and round in wonder. “How’d you do that?”

“It’s this filter. It’s a miracle filter.”

“It’s a magical filter. Like you,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun blinked and looked at him, noticing Kyungsoo look away again before looking back. “You should… have you ever done an exhibit?”

“Uh, no,” Baekhyun said, still stuck on the “like you” comment as he tried to figure out how to move on from it.

“You should. You’re really talented.”

“No, it’s just a hobby,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head more to clear it so it could reboot. He turned to walk away a bit, not sure what had just happened. Maybe nothing had happened and his brain had short-circuited for no reason.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo said catching up to him. “I just feel you’re too talented to have this just be a hobby.”

“It’s not a big deal to me really,” Baekhyun waved off with a little smile. “Hey, you know how you said that this is home, but Korea feels like home too? I think I know a place you might like.”

Kyungsoo seemed intrigued as he followed him back up the trail, Baekhyun grabbing them two water bottles from the cooler he had packed in his trunk. They got back in the car and Baekhyun drove along the drive until they hit a residential area and then a park where Kyungsoo’s face lit up at the sight of the Korean structure in front of him.

“There’s a temple up here?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Ha, no. It’s a friendship bell. Korea gifted it to the U.S. for some reason and it sits under that cool pagoda. Come on.”

They walked toward the bell and Kyungsoo took his phone out again to take a picture as he said, “This is so random.”

“Right?” Baekhyun agreed with a laugh. “I remember my parents brought me here once when I was a kid. It’s how I found out about it. They had prepared a picnic for us for Korean Independence Day and we came here to eat and watch the small ceremony they had, and then they hit the bell with that big log,” he said pointing it out to him. “That’s how it rings, by being hit with the log.”

“My parents never brought me here as a kid,” Kyungsoo said. “I wonder if they even know about it. I’ll have to ask them.”

“I came here again on a school field trip later, and then after that, I’d just come on my own when I was hanging out at the beach. After being with the water, it’s nice to come up here and see it from this great vista,” he said, taking him around the pagoda so he could get the full view of the Pacific.

“Wow, this is a great view,” Kyungsoo said, taking another picture.

“Here, let me take a picture of you with the bell,” Baekhyun said, reaching his hand out so he could hand his phone over. “It’s your first time here. You should document it.”

Kyungsoo stood in front of the steps and did different excited poses, as if he was genuinely thrilled to be standing so close to it and seeing it in person.

“These are hilarious,” Baekhyun said cracking up as he handed him his phone back.

“Let me take some of you,” Kyungsoo then told him, and Baekhyun, who may have been a bit of a ham, served up many different poses, each one more ridiculous than the one before it.

When they were done, Baekhyun told Kyungsoo to have a seat and that he’d be right back. He went back to his car to get the cooler out, bringing it back to where Kyungsoo sat and setting it down.

“I packed us lunch,” Baekhyun explained. “And by lunch, I mean I picked up strawberries and Flaming Hot Cheetos, oh and these Pepperoni Pizza Lunchables. They were on crazy sale.”

“I don’t think I’ve had one of those since elementary school.”

“Really? I have these all the time whenever they go on sale. My roommate judges me, but I don’t care. In fact, at this point, I’m sure I do it just to annoy him. He’s a vegan, organic food, health nut type, so it’s funny to see him look at me disappointed when I grab a bunch and throw them in the cart.”

Kyungsoo watched him and Baekhyun realized he was probably doing that thing where he started talking and couldn’t stop, so he shoved a handful of Cheetos in his mouth to shut himself up.

“I like cheese too much to ever be vegan,” Kyungsoo then said after a moment as he opened one of the Lunchables.

“Same,” Baekhyun nodded. “Cheese is food of the gods. So are strawberries,” he said, popping one in his mouth, the perfect anecdote to the hot Cheetos.

“Is this what your parents packed for your picnic when they brought you here?” Kyungsoo asked with a smile.

“No, they’re better at this than I am. My mom had packed rice cakes and kimchi and some sweet pastries. It was all delicious. My mom is a good cook. I usually go home once or twice a week to eat.”

“My mom’s a good cook too,” Kyungsoo shared. “The best part of coming back home is eating her food.”

“And the worst part?” Baekhyun asked, starting on another strawberry. “Minseok told me it was complicated. You going home. I imagine that means if there’s a best part, then there has to be a worst part.”

Kyungsoo nodded thoughtfully but didn’t answer right away, making himself another mini pizza and eating it whole before saying, “The memories. That’s the worst part.”

“The memories of life before you became a rock star and it all got boring?”

“The memories of when we were a happy family before I left to Korea to go to college. My parents are divorced, and my suddenly successful career was the catalyst for it.”

“How so?” Baekhyun asked, looking concerned by this information. “They’re adults. They can’t blame you for their marital problems.”

“Their marital problems didn’t really exist until they disagreed on what I was doing with my life. My mom supported it and my dad didn’t. He wanted me to come back home and go to college here and major in something more stable. My mom wanted me to chase my dream. Ideological differences that never surfaced until I created the perfect situation for them to do so.”

“You can’t really blame yourself for that,” Baekhyun said, “You’re allowed to live your life and make choices according to what you want. As your parents, they can support you or not, but it shouldn’t be in a way that causes everything to come crashing down. It’s their fault they divorced, Kyungsoo. Not yours.”

“It’s just not that simple,” Kyungsoo said, reaching for a strawberry. “Anyway, I’ve told you a lot about myself. Maybe you should tell me something more about yourself. Like your piano thing you refuse to talk about.”

“Ah, look at the time,” Baekhyun said pretending to look at a non-existent watch on his wrist.

“Hey, fair’s fair. At least tell me why you don’t talk about it?”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about. In my case, it’s just that simple.”

“Fine, I’ll ask Sehun about it next time I’m at the beach.”

“He’s sworn to secrecy,” Baekhyun pointed out as he started in on his own Lunchable.

“I’ll ask Jongin then.”

“He’ll be sworn to secrecy after tonight,” Baekhyun teased.

“I’m going to find out.”

“And then you’ll be disappointed when you realize how it’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing, you would have told me by now.”

Baekhyun just shrugged, and shook his head with a goofy smile on his face as he closed his eyes. This act made Kyungsoo laugh and Baekhyun opened his eyes to take in the beautiful sight. And then he realized that he had really thought it was beautiful. And then he realized that Sehun may have been right and he may have liked him too.

“Oh, we should go soon,” Baekhyun said, looking at his phone to check the time. “I have to work tomorrow and I have a lot to do today before I crash for the night.”

“You still haven’t told me what you actually do for a  living,” Kyungsoo pointed out, placing his empty Lunchable container back in the cooler. “Although, congrats on your promotion.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said with a smile, shoving the rest of his pizza into his mouth before he too discarded his plastic tray. “I do QA for a video game company. I’m a gamer, so I started testing in college as a side job and worked my way up to manager, so now I get to oversee the new crop of QA testers that come in to test our games.”

Kyungsoo had picked up a strawberry and now just held it as he stared at him. Baekhyun wondered if he suddenly realized just how boring he really was.

“That’s… so cool.”

“What? No,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “It’s a lot of things: nerdy, geeky, anything but cool.”

“No, it’s really cool,” Kyungsoo insisted, eating his strawberry. “You’re just full of all these surprises. You’re an amazing photographer, but wait, you’re also good at skateboarding, but wait, you were almost a concert pianist, but wait, you’re a gamer who’s a manager at a gaming company. I think we may have more in common than we thought. I’m bored because I found success easily and you think your life is boring because you do too. We’re like different sides of the same coin.”

“That’s a weird theory,” Baekhyun said, not in the mind frame to really think about it in that moment. “You think too much. You have all these deep thoughts. This must be how you come up with your songs.”

“It helps,” Kyungsoo nodded, and he stood up when Baekhyun did, helping him pack the remaining things up and carry the cooler to the car.

Once Baekhyun was back on the 405, he thought about how much he liked hanging out with Kyungsoo and getting to know him better. It freaked him out a bit, but also excited him, and when he pulled into the parking spot in front of the condo building, he put the car in park and looked over at his passenger.

“I had fun. Want to hang out again next weekend?” Baekhyun went ahead and asked first this time. “I was thinking of shooting up in Malibu.”

“Do we really have to wait until next weekend?” Kyungsoo asked him, and Baekhyun may have felt a little butterfly flutter in his stomach. Whatever that was about.

“I have to work. Weekends are better for me. And easier.”

“But I’m bored here,” Kyungsoo said, with what seemed to almost be a small whine.

“Aren’t your friends with you? Go hang out with your best friend. Chanyeol, right? Or Jongdae. He was really nice.”

Kyungsoo let out a soft sigh and shook his head, then opened the car door to let himself out. Before closing the door, he leaned down to peek in and said, “I’ll see you next weekend.” Then he closed the door and headed up the stairs to his condo.

Baekhyun watched him, wondering why that weird shield of his tended to go up toward the end of their conversations. He also wondered, as he pulled out of the parking lot, whether or not Kyungsoo would be finding another one-night-stand that night. And then he put his music on louder to drown out those weird thoughts that weren’t any of his business anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay, I like him,” Baekhyun admitted to Sehun and Junmyeon.

They had met up for happy hour at their favorite tacos and margaritas place, though Junmyeon and Sehun always got beer instead of margaritas and Baekhyun usually just had Sprite. But they still loved the cheap tacos and the relaxing and chill vibe of the place after their long and usually stressful workdays.

“I knew that already,” Sehun said with a smirk as he happily ate his fish taco.

“It’s good you admit it,” Junmyeon nodded, “Now you can do something about it.”

“Do what about it?” Baekhyun said, already frustrated by the idea, “He’s a rock star that’s leaving at some point to go back to be a rock star in a country that’s too far away. Also, he hooks up with random people all the time. It’s pointless.”

“It’s not pointless,” Sehun stated, “He used to have a girlfriend in Korea. So he knows how to settle.”

Baekhyun blinked at this brand new information and blinked again before repeating, “He used to have a girlfriend in Korea.”

“Yeah,” Sehun nodded. “I’ve been doing more research for you. According to the fan sites, no one liked her. They think that it’s what caused him to really start changing into the person he is now. She was a K-drama actress who had her own not-so-great reputation for being difficult, so I can see how they thought that.”

“You’re doing research on fan sites?” Junmyeon asked with an amused chuckle.

“It’s the best way to find out what you need to know,” Sehun stated, “Anyway, the relationship got a bit messy, mostly because his fans attacked her a lot online and she would lash out at them and then play up her relationship with him more to get back at them.”

“Yikes,” Baekhyun said. “Sounds like a lot of drama.”

“Yeah, and Kyungsoo apparently never said anything about it publicly, just kept being with her without making any excuses for her. The fans are split on whether it was all just a publicity stunt or if he actually wanted to be with her.”

“So when did they break up?” Baekhyun asked, needing to know the important things.

“Just earlier this year,” Sehun filled in. “Each of their publicists put out the same statement. Something about how they respect each other and will always love each other, but they’ve amicably decided to end things. Needless to say, his fans rejoiced on that day.”

“And that’s the only public relationship he’s ever had?” Baekhyun wanted to make sure.

“As far as I can tell. He was linked to some other actresses and K-pop girl group members, but they were just rumors. Oh, and also her fans hated that she was with him too. So it was mutual. It’s mostly because they wanted her with the lead in the drama she was in at the time they got together.”

“Fans are weird,” Junmyeon stated. “But either way, if he got out of a relationship this year, he may not know what he’s looking for and is probably just trying to figure things out for himself.”

“And he accidentally met you in the process,” Sehun continued this train of thought, “Which maybe surprised him a bit, and now he wants to see what you offer because maybe you’re what he’s really been looking for this whole time.”

“That’s not where I was going with that,” Junmyeon stated.

“It’s where you should have been going with it,” Sehun said with snark.

Baekhyun shook his head at both of them, now more convinced his situation was pointless.

“So he’s either looking for a one-night stand or a rebound,” Baekhyun pointed out, “And I’m not going to be either of those things for him.”

“Or maybe he’s just looking for a friend,” Junmyeon said. “It says a lot that he wants to keep hanging out with you when he’s got other people to hang out with.”

“He did say he thought we were the coolest people he had met in the past two years,” Baekhyun nodded. “It makes more sense that way. He wants a friend. I can be a friend. I’m good at the friend thing.”

“You are,” Sehun agreed. “But don’t rule out something more. Maybe he wants a friend with benefits.”

“Not doing it,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head. Doing anything beyond hanging out casually with Kyungsoo seemed like it wouldn’t lead to anything good. Mostly because Baekhyun knew that he had a slight problem with becoming too invested in people.

So he liked him. But he would just be friends with him. And it didn’t matter because once Kyungsoo went back to Korea, he’d probably never even talk to him again.

***

“Welcome to Malibu!” Baekhyun exclaimed with arms wide open after he had miraculously found parking on the small dirt lot at the top of the cliff.

“I’ve been here before,” Kyungsoo stated, grabbing his messenger bag from the backseat and sliding on his shades.

“Welcome to Malibu again!” Baekhyun exclaimed, outstretching his arms again for effect, and Kyungsoo laughed at him. “I should have guessed you’ve been here. It’s a rock star kind of place.”

“A music producer I really like working with lives here,” Kyungsoo explained, while Baekhyun grabbed his bags and made sure his car was locked before they headed toward the pay station. “And we shot a music video here once. Though not at this beach. I don’t think I’ve ever been to this beach. I’ve been to Zuma.”

“Zuma’s for tourists. This spot though. This spot right here is Malibu’s greatest treasure. You’ll see.”

“I trust your judgment,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“It’s a state park, so they keep it perfect. And… well you’ll see. You’re going to love it. I just know it,” Baekhyun said with a big smile on his face as he lead Kyungsoo down the dirt trail, the blue of the ocean spread out infinitely before them.

And then they made the turn that always took away Baekhyun’s breath, and he stopped to let Kyungsoo have his first moment with it.

“Oh… wow,” Kyungsoo said, taking his phone out of his messenger bag with a quickness.

“Told you. Greatest treasure.”

“This is unreal,” Kyungsoo said, taking the shots. “We’re going down all the way, right?”

“Yep, let’s go,” Baekhyun told him, leading the way again and then down the wooden steps, telling Kyungsoo to be careful because the sand made them slippery.

When they reached the bottom, Baekhyun took his sandals off and watched Kyungsoo take it all in. The light tan rock formations jutting out of the sand and water alike, the dark, large rocks along the shore covered in neon green algae and clusters of purple mussels, the caves that seemed to hold mysterious secrets–it was the perfect beach playground and Baekhyun loved every chance he ever got to make the drive north to play in it.

“I had no idea this existed here,” Kyungsoo said.

“Come on. Let’s go play,” Baekhyun told him, and he placed their things by the cliff wall and took off running, splashing the water with his feet when he hit it to say hello, and then taking off up the shore, being careful to walk over the rocks as he led Kyungsoo to the first cave.

“This one’s small,” Baekhyun explained as they ducked inside, “But during low-tide, you can reach one further up the beach that’s massive. I once sat inside of it and stared out at the water pretending it was my home. The acoustics are interesting in there come to think of it. You might really be inspired.”

“I’m already inspired,” Kyungsoo said, a rather satisfied and peaceful smile on his face.

“Want to climb?” Baekhyun then asked him, pointing to another craggy rock formation that people were climbing to the top of.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo said.

They took it easy and slow, but did make it to the top, where they triumphantly held up their hands and took in the view from up high.

“This is so unreal,” Kyungsoo said again.

And as Baekhyun watched him stare out at the ocean, the sun bringing out the golden glow of his skin, and the wind making his black hair flutter around his face, all Baekhyun could think was that Kyungsoo was unreal.

“I’m.. going to go back down and grab my camera and start taking pics. Take in all the inspiration you need,” he told him with a smile, and then worked his way back down the rock, needing to clear his mind again about his Kyungsoo thoughts.

They were just going to be friends, so he needed to not have moments where he thought he was unreal, or handsome, or cute, or beautiful. So instead he focused on photographing his favorite beach, crouching down near a tiny tidepool to catch the swirls of water when the waves came in.

There were a couple of kids playing near the rocks, laughing as they tried to run back from the incoming waves surfing over the smaller rocks, and Baekhyun laughed and trained the camera on them, getting incredible shots of pure joy.

He then wondered if Kyungsoo was still on the rock, thinking that would be a great shot to get, but he spotted him instead walking along the shore, looking serene as he took his own pictures of the rocks with his phone camera. Baekhyun let out a soft sigh and then shook his head. He was doing that thing again. He needed to stop doing that thing.

Baekhyun headed to the other side of another large rock structure and started taking pictures of it from the new angle. He became a bit involved with it, so much so that he barely noticed the passing time or that he had been joined by a shadow.

“Oh hey,” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo, smiling over at him. “Didn’t see you there.”

“I was just watching you,” Kyungsoo said, “You weren’t kidding. You are obsessive. How many pictures of that rock do you need?”

“The shadows were creating interesting patterns. Shush,” Baekhyun said, maybe a little embarrassed, but playing it off anyway.

“I was thinking we should put the blanket down and chill,” Kyungsoo then said, and Baekhyun nodded at him.

They walked back to where they had left their things and both worked together to get the blanket perfectly down and secured on the corners with their bags. Baekhyun pulled out a can of Pringles and a container of sliced apples and put it between them along with bottles of water.

“I love how you’re always so prepared,” Kyungsoo said, grabbing for an apple slice.

“It’s important to stay hydrated and well-fed at the beach. The sun drains you,” Baekhyun explained, and then he almost downed an entire bottle of water as if needing to prove his point.

“That was…” Kyungsoo began, and when Baekhyun looked over at him as he took his last swallow, he finished, “…really hot.”

Baekhyun blushed and put his empty water bottle down. “Um, it’s hot, you should drink some water too,” he said, choosing to ignore the comment.

Kyungsoo shook his head and looked at him a little amused, “Do you do that on purpose?”

“Do what on purpose?”

“Ignore my compliments?”

“I already told you I don’t do one night stands.”

“I’m not trying to get you into bed anymore,” Kyungsoo stated, and Baekhyun looked at him surprised. “You made it clear that you weren’t interested in doing that with me. But I can still point out when you look hot. You should know anyway. It seems like you don’t know, or maybe you just ignore it when anyone tells you.”

“You are so forward,” Baekhyun observed, meaning it to stay in his head, but blurting it out anyway.

“What’s the point in hiding it? I already made it known I liked you the moment I saw you.”

“But why?” Baekhyun asked, still confused by all this. “I’m so boring. And I’m not a tall hot guy like Sehun and Jongin.”

“You’re a cute short guy, and you have hot moments, even without the height. Has no one really ever told you this?”

“I mean, I’ve been called cute before,” Baekhyun admitted, thinking back to all the times someone had admitted to liking him. “I think it’s just weird coming from you. You could have anyone. Sehun told me that you used to date a very famous actress in Korea. That seems more your speed.”

Kyungsoo lost his smile, and Baekhyun realized he maybe shouldn’t have brought it up, so he tried to switch the topic.

“Anyway,” Baekhyun waved off, “It doesn’t matter because you’re going to leave back to Korea, right? I think we should just be friends. I decided this the other day.”

“You decided this?” Kyungsoo said, looking amused again at least.

“I make a great friend. Just ask Sehun.”

“I believe you,” Kyungsoo nodded, reaching for a Pringle this time. “Friends it is. I could use a good friend.”

“But you have good friends already,” Baekhyun blurted out, so confused by Kyungsoo again. “You have your best friend Chanyeol, and Jongdae, and Minseok seems like he’s probably a good friend.”

“Chanyeol and I stopped talking over a year ago,” Kyungsoo said, and he ate his Pringle and grabbed for another one, not looking at Baekhyun as he said this.

“You… but…” Baekhyun’s brows furrowed. “You’re in a band together, how could you not be talking? He talked to you the night I met you…” Baekhyun suddenly remembered the way Chanyeol had shifted his attitude when Baekhyun had told him that he was back there because of Kyungsoo.

“We keep it strictly professional,” Kyungsoo explained, having grabbed a few of the chips and holding them in his hand, eating them one by one as he looked down at them. “Once we’re off stage, we avoid each other.”

“But why?” Baekhyun asked, knowing it wasn’t his place, but wanting to find out anyway. “What happened?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, “We grew apart I guess.”

Baekhyun got no other explanation about it, and he watched Kyungsoo eat the rest of the Pringles in his hand.

“Well… you have Jongdae still, right?”

Kyungsoo smiled a little and looked back at Baekhyun, giving him a little nod.

“Jongdae is always a breath of fresh air. We’re not as super close as me and Chanyeol were, but he’s been there for me a lot the past year or so. Honestly, Jongdae is the only reason I probably haven’t done something irredeemably stupid in the past year.”

“I challenge you to use ‘irredeemably stupid’ in a song you write,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh.

“Challenge accepted,” Kyungsoo said with a small laugh back.

“Have you been inspired to work on your solo album lately?” Baekhyun adjusted his sunglasses and leaned back against his hands, taking in the seagulls as they waddled around looking for stray snacks.

“I’ve been writing lyrics here and there, but nothing I would call inspiring.”

“Maybe after today. This beach always inspires me.”

“I noticed. I can’t wait to see your five hundred pictures of the same rock.”

Baekhyun made an offended sound and lifted his hand to smack Kyungsoo’s forearm, making Kyungsoo snicker.

They watched the waves crash over the rocks a bit more, and both found a couple of bad frisbee players interesting to watch until Baekhyun checked the time and realized they had been out there longer than he had planned.

Kyungsoo helped him pack up everything and they made the hike back up to the parking lot, Kyungsoo pausing every so often to take a picture of the view with his phone.

“Do I have to wait until next weekend to hang out with you again?” Kyungsoo asked him on the drive back south, and Baekhyun contemplated this question.

“Well, Sehun’s qualifier tournament starts Friday. I took the day off because I wanted to be there for him. So, if you, Jongdae and Minseok would like to come and cheer him on, then I think he’d really like that.”

“We’ll be there,” Kyungsoo told him. “Is it at Huntington?”

“San Onofre. Near San Diego.”

Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows a bit, “Uh, isn’t that where that one nuclear power plant is?”

“Yeah, that’s the place,” Baekhyun confirmed with excitement. “It’s a great surfing spot.”

“Is that safe?” Kyungsoo asked, looking worried.

“Well, he hasn’t grown a second head yet, and he’s surfed there quite a bit so it seems okay so far. We’ll see how he looks after this weekend,” Baekhyun giggled at his own joke and then broke into a full on laugh when Kyungsoo’s face continued to stare at him concerned.

After he had dropped Kyungsoo off and made his way back home, Junmyeon greeted him from where he sat at the dining table, on his laptop and sipping some tea.

“How’d your friendship date go?” Junmyeon asked with a smile as Baekhyun left his flip flops by the entrance and padded over, placing his camera bags on the dining table.

“I think he’s cool with us just being friends, but I found out that him and Chanyeol are no longer best friends, which seems really sad.”

Junmyeon looked surprised as well, “Why are they no longer best friends?”

“He said they just grew apart, but that seems weird. Like you were high school friends, you started a band together, you made it big together, you tour together all the time, how do you grow apart?”

“That is pretty weird. Maybe they got sick of being around each other all the time.”

“I guess,” Baekhyun shrugged, and then he bit his lip and thought a little about the other things that Kyungsoo had said. “He thinks I’m hot,” he went ahead and mentioned. “But he says he’s not trying to sleep with me anymore because he knows I don’t want it.”

“Well that worked out for you then,” Junmyeon said, picking up the cup of tea with both hands and taking a sip as he stared at Baekhyun over the rim.

“Yeah, it did,” Baekhyun said, but somehow he didn’t quite feel like it did. “Anyway, I’m going to head over to Sehun’s for dinner.”

“He’s still at the beach,” Junmyeon informed him. “I told him not to stay out so late practicing, but he’s pushing himself harder with the competition coming up.”

“Okay, new plan. I’m heading to the beach and dragging Sehun away from it so we can head to his parents’ for dinner.”

“Good plan,” Junmyeon said with a smile, and he placed the cup down and returned to his work on the laptop.


	6. Chapter 6

Baekhyun always felt nervous on Sehun’s competition days. Before Sehun’s accident, the nervousness was mostly fueled by excitement and a hopefulness that Sehun would win. But after Sehun’s accident, the nervousness still featured excitement, but was laced with a little bit of worry and a hopefulness that Sehun wouldn’t get hurt. He knew anything could happen when the waves were involved.

“I got us a good spot near the water,” Jongin said, having jogged up to meet Baekhyun and Junmyeon when they had arrived onto the sand.

“Nice,” Baekhyun said, letting Jongin help Junmyeon with the cooler since he was already occupied carrying the beach bag along with his camera bags.

Baekhyun set up his tripod and got the right zoom lens onto his camera as the announcers for the event listed the names of the next set of participants to go in the water.

“You’re always so easy to find,” Baekhyun heard Minseok’s voice say, and he turned to see that Kyungsoo had arrived with Minseok, Jongdae and another guy that Baekhyun thought might be their other band member.

“Hey, glad you could make it,” Baekhyun said, giving him a quick one-armed hug and doing the same in greeting the other men. “You made it just in time, Sehun’s in this next group.”

“Here, add your blanket to this side and I’ll move my bag to hold it down,” Jongin instructed Jongdae as he took out a blanket from the beach bag he carried.

“This is my roommate, Junmyeon,” Baekhyun remembered to introduce. “This is Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Minseok and their other band member?”

“Yixing,” the fourth member said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Junmyeon said with a polite smile, and Baekhyun noticed that Kyungsoo let his eyes linger on Junmyeon for a moment.

“We’ve never been to a surfing competition,” Jongdae explained, “So we were all excited to come. Oh, there goes Sehun!”

Baekhyun looked over his shoulder to see Sehun paddling out into the water along with the other surfers in his heat.

“Time to take pictures,” Baekhyun said, hopping over the side of the blanket to get to his tripod so he could follow Sehun with his lens.

The other men settled onto the blankets on the beach as snacks and drinks were passed around from the cooler, but Baekhyun’s primary focus was on making sure to get the best shots he could of Sehun from the distance he was at.

“Why doesn’t he catch that wave?” Jongdae asked, “That’s the right way to say that, right? He’s catching a wave?”

Jongin’s loud obnoxious laugh followed before he answered, “Yeah, and he can’t because that other guy has priority. If he takes the wave from that angle, then he can get called for interference.”

“Surfing has a lot of weird rules,” Baekhyun threw in from behind the camera where he caught a great shot of Sehun getting to his feet on his board as he tried to take his first wave.

“The rules are in place because of how unpredictable the sport is,” Junmyeon pointed out. “It’s really dangerous out there, so they have to protect the surfers however they can.”

“I’m just impressed every time they don’t drown when they…” Jongdae stopped speaking and emitted some sound that sounded like a cross between a yell and a screech. “…do that! Is he okay?”

“Yeah, wipe outs are normal,” Jongin assured him. “Surfers are great swimmers.”

“Is that a real nuclear power plant?” Yixing asked, and Baekhyun chuckled, taking a break from shooting pics as Sehun paddled back out into the water.

“It is,” Junmyeon confirmed. “It’s in the process of being decommissioned, so they don’t use it anymore.”

“And no one is worried about radiation leaks?” Yixing asked, looking a bit horrified as he looked back at the plant again.

“I think people who swim and surf here are more worried about the sharks,” Jongin said with another laugh.

“The sharks tend to hang out down there though,” Baekhyun pointed out toward the south part of the beach before reaching down to grab his water bottle.

“I don’t like this sport,” Yixing said.

“I do,” Jongdae said as he pointed toward Sehun again. “Look he’s getting a good wave. Go, Sehun!”

Baekhyun rushed back to the camera and caught great pics of Sehun riding a pretty nice wave, managing to get some of his maneuvers in there before he rode it out to the shore. The spectators applauded his efforts, one of the best so far in this heat.

“He’s really good,” Minseok said, and Baekhyun smiled proudly in agreement, then looked toward Kyungsoo who sat quietly and stared at the action.

Sehun managed to edge out his competition, qualifying for the next round, and Baekhyun finally got a chance to sit down while they waited for Sehun’s turn to compete again.

“So, how are you enjoying this so far?” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo, who hadn’t uttered a single word the whole time he had been there.

“It’s interesting,” Kyungsoo said, looking toward him. “It’s more entertaining than I thought it would be.”

“Does it make you want to try surfing?” Baekhyun asked with a small laugh, already anticipating the answer.

“No,” came Kyungsoo’s confirmation.

“He’d be scared of the sharks,” Jongdae teased.

“Has anyone been attacked by a shark at this beach?” Yixing asked, looking concerned all over again.

“Yeah, mostly down at Trails like Baekhyun said,” Jongin explain.

“Trails is that part of the beach,” Baekhyun clarified. “There are a lot of Great White sightings down there.”

“They’re mostly baby sharks,” Junmyeon added. “Nothing bigger than 8 feet.”

“Nothing bigger than 8 feet?” Yixing asked horrified all over again and Jongdae fell backwards from laughing so hard as he clapped. “That’s big.”

“Not in shark land,” Junmyeon said, laughing as well.

“Yixing is never stepping foot into the ocean ever again,” Minseok teased him.

“Not in this one,” Yixing stated, pointing out to the water as if accusing it of a great misdeed.

Baekhyun noticed that while Kyungsoo smiled softly at the conversation, he didn’t ever laugh or chime in, and once again he found himself wondering why Kyungsoo was so weird and withdrawn so much.

“Hey, wanna go for a walk?” Baekhyun asked him.

Kyungsoo shrugged, which based on the fact that he started to stand up, must have meant that the answer was “yes.”

They walked south, toward the direction of Trails since Baekhyun liked how the bluffs photographed on that side better.

“So what’s on your mind?” Baekhyun asked him as they walked beside each other, close enough to the shore for the water to lap at their feet.

Kyungsoo seemed surprised by this question, and after glancing at Baekhyun, he shook his head, “Nothing.”

“Nope, something’s on your mind,” Baekhyun pressed with a silly grin. “You’ve been quiet since you got here. You never once even laughed at Yixing, and he was being pretty inadvertently funny.”

“Yixing is always inadvertently funny.”

“So why weren’t you laughing?”

“Not in the mood I guess.”

Baekhyun thought that was fair and lost his smile as he sighed and kept walking. When would Kyungsoo start making sense to him? It was going to be hard to be his friend under these circumstances.

“You should have that guy’s job,” Kyungsoo pointed out the guy in the water taking the professional shots of the surfers. His random observation startled Baekhyun, who was convinced the rest of their walk would take place without further conversation.

“Nah, he can keep it,” Baekhyun said with an amused shake of the head.

“You wouldn’t want to do it? You do it anyway. Just not in the water.”

“I’m not interested in having to dodge waves and flying surfboards to get a shot. I like things simple, Kyungsoo. How have you not noticed this about me yet?”

“It’s weird, but you seem like the type that would like that. You confuse me a lot actually.”

Baekhyun looked stunned to hear this, “What? I’m not confusing. You’re the one that’s confusing. All rock star on stage and completely mute in normal situations. What even is that?”

“Who I am on stage is a persona. Who I am off stage is who I really am. You, on the other hand, are confusing.”

“What exactly about me is confusing?” Baekhyun asked, walking around a sand castle moat that was being inundated with water from the new wave washing ashore.

“Everything. You have the personality of an extrovert and are the mood maker among your friends and anyone you meet, but you enjoy doing introvert things, like taking pictures and playing video games. And you had a chance to be a concert pianist, which I know, we don’t talk about, but you didn’t take that chance, and that just seems strange to me with the type of person you seem to really be.”

Baekhyun suddenly wished he hadn’t asked, and he pouted slightly as his brows furrowed, perhaps scowling like a 5-year-old who didn’t get the ice cream that he wanted.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo then said. “I seem to have crossed a line.”

Baekhyun shook his head, “It’s fine. It’s only fair. I think I’ve crossed lines with you and your personal life as well. Let’s head back.”

He shifted course so they could begin walking back up the beach, this time both of them remaining silent and both very much in their thoughts.

***

Sehun’s second heat went as well as his first one, and he advanced to the next round, which would take place the following day.

They decided to treat him to dinner at a nearby Mexican restaurant and bar, where Sehun wasted no time in devouring the biggest burrito he could order.

Junmyeon ordered them a round of shots to celebrate Sehun’s success of the day.

“I haven’t won yet,” Sehun reminded them, seeming to be a bit embarrassed by all the adulation he was being shown.

“But you will,” Jongin said, “So drink up!”

They toasted to him and everyone took their shot, even Baekhyun, who never quite understood the appeal of hard liquor. Kyungsoo on the other hand seemed to like his liquor as hard as possible, ordering himself another drink once the shot was done.

“I think you’re so cool,” Jongdae said to Sehun, which made him blush a bit more, “The way you get up on the board, and stand and find your spot and catch the wave. It’s insane.”

“And very courageous as well,” Yixing added.

Baekhyun snickered to himself, thinking about what traumatic nightmares Yixing was probably going to have that night.

“Well it continues tomorrow,” Junmyeon informed them, “So if you’re up for it. We’ll be here to do it all over again.”

“I’ll be here,” Jongdae said, surprising no one.

Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo, who was halfway done with his new drink already.

“I’ll be here as well,” Minseok stated.

“I’d be here,” Yixing said, “But I promised Chanyeol I’d do some songwriting with him this weekend.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes cut to Yixing so fast that Baekhyun felt unnerved by it.

“Right, about that,” Minseok said, placing his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder as if knowing he needed to diffuse the tension that had just entered their dinner party. “Yixing and Chanyeol are working on some things for the new album. Nothing major obviously since we won’t be recording it for a while, but just to get the ideas flowing.”

“Since when do you write with Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asked, his tone was not kind. “What happened with writing with Jongdae?”

“Jongdae’s busy with writing for his solo album,” Yixing seemed to remind him.

Baekhyun, Sehun, Jongin, and Junmyeon all looked at each other surprised and possibly wondering if they should get up from the table and let them have this discussion in private.

“It’s a good idea,” Minseok said. “They might be able to come up with something a little different. A new direction for the band even. This is a good thing, Soo.”

Kyungsoo didn’t seem to think so, based on him finishing his drink then getting up from the table and leaving the restaurant.

“Why’d you bring it up?” Jongdae asked Yixing, reaching over the table to slap his arm.

“I didn’t think about it. Besides, he was going to find out eventually.”

“It’s fine,” Minseok said, finishing his drink as well. “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

Baekhyun had no idea what to make of any of this, and he told Minseok “no worries” when the manager got up and apologized before excusing himself from the table as well.

“Seriously sorry about that,” Jongdae said to them. “Let’s just get back to celebrating Sehun!”

“No, wait,” Sehun said, his facial expression showing how invested he was in whatever had just happened at their table. “I thought Kyungsoo was the one making the solo album. Now you’re making the solo album?”

“And why is he upset that Yixing is writing songs with Chanyeol?” Baekhyun added.

“You guys,” Junmyeon said raising his hand as if telling them to slow down, or maybe stop, “This isn’t any of our business.”

“Shut up, dad,” Baekhyun said, nudging him.

“Eat your tacos,” Jongin told Junmyeon, tapping his plate.

“So, your solo album,” Sehun continued as he nodded to Jongdae, hoping he’d spill the details.

“It’s been in the works,” Jongdae said with a big smile. “I had announced it at the end of last year. You know, that I’d be working on one. It’s because I had sung on a few OSTs in Korea, for K-dramas, and they were well received, so I thought I’d do an album of songs more like that, and maybe throw in some rock songs the fans would actually appreciate.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Sehun said looking very excited  by the prospect. “I heard one of your OSTs and your voice is crazy. A lot of your fan sites argue you should be the lead singer of Exodus.”

“No,” Jongdae said, waving his hands as he shook his head. “Kyungsoo is our perfect lead singer. He’s a natural front man.”

“Jongdae is meant to be a solo artist,” Yixing offered. “A solo album is the best way for him to really showcase his talent. His voice doesn’t need a whole band behind it.”

“I feel that way about Kyungsoo too,” Jongdae said, smiling at Yixing for the compliment before looking back at Sehun, “I was the one who suggested he try doing a solo album. It’s because I felt the process was so liberating and it allowed me to say what I wanted to say about things. I thought he should do it for that reason. He has things to say, or maybe things he doesn’t want to say but should. I feel it could be cathartic for him.”

Baekhyun nodded at this, agreeing completely that if nothing else, Kyungsoo needed some kind of catharsis.

“So, why did he get mad about Yixing writing with Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked again, now that the information flowed.

“A million reasons,” Jongdae sighed. “Take your pick. Him and Chanyeol have been on the outs for a while, so anything related to him tends to set him off, regardless of what it is. If I had to pinpoint an underlying cause, it’d be that ultimately Kyungsoo feels betrayed by Chanyeol, so anytime any of us are nice to Chanyeol, he feels like we’re betraying him in a way.”

“Which is stupid,” Yixing said, and he paused to ask the server for a refill of his soda before continuing, “We’re a band. We have to work together. If it honestly keeps going like this, we’re going to have to call it quits.”

“What? No,” Sehun said, shaking his head. “You have to work it out.”

“Why exactly are they on the outs?” Baekhyun ventured.

Jongdae let out a long sigh and said, “Because of a girl.”

“Tale as old as time,” Yixing stated.

“A girl?” Baekhyun asked, suddenly feeling a small chill run through him.

“Kyungsoo started seeing this girl in Korea,” Jongdae explained, reaching to grab more chips to dip in the salsa, “She’s an actress, and stereotypically so. Very dramatic type. Anyway, Chanyeol didn’t like her and thought Kyungsoo was making a mistake by dating her. Kyungsoo told him to back off, but he didn’t.”

“I told Chanyeol to let it go,” Yixing interjected. “I told him he’d end up pushing Kyungsoo away and that he had to let him make his own mistakes, but Chanyeol was convinced he could talk him out of it.”

“He thought his best friend privilege would help him out,” Jongdae agreed with Yixing. “He didn’t believe for a second that Kyungsoo wouldn’t listen to him. But Soo’s been… I don’t know, a different person for a bit now, and Chanyeol didn’t really understand that until the moment that Kyungsoo blocked his number and moved out of their apartment to go live with his girlfriend at her place.”

“That was a fun moment,” Yixing said, shaking his head. “All hell kind of broke loose, but Minseok managed to keep us together to get through promoting our new album and then this tour. The hiatus after this tour wasn’t originally planned, but Minseok realized we were going to need it to survive whatever this is Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are going through.”

“Honestly, I think we all needed the break,” Jongdae stated.

“For the record,” Yixing then said, “Kyungsoo still has Chanyeol blocked on his phone.”

“We have to help,” Sehun said.

“Okay, settle down, Captain America,” Jongin told him. “If a life-long friendship couldn’t prevent this from happening, then I don’t think you’re going to fix it.”

“I’d rather be Iron Man,” Sehun said.

“I’m Iron Man,” Junmyeon stated.

“You wish,” Sehun said with a laugh. “Tony Stark would never be a vegan.”

“You’re a vegan,” Yixing said, as if all the answers of the world had been revealed to him. “I was wondering why you ordered the Portobello tacos and asked for it with no cheese. I felt bad and thought maybe you couldn’t eat real food.”

Baekhyun would normally have snickered at that, having thought similar things when he had first learned about his roommate’s eating habits, but his mind was too busy processing all the information he had learned. He also wondered how Kyungsoo was doing, and part of him wanted to go outside and check, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t his place and that Minseok probably had everything under control.

As Junmyeon explained to Yixing how he had made the choice at the age of 16 to become vegan, Baekhyun noticed Minseok and Kyungsoo walk back into the restaurant.

“We should be heading out,” Minseok announced to Jongdae and Yixing, and then he looked at Sehun, “Congrats again. We’ll be back out tomorrow to see you win again.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Sehun said, looking embarrassed again, and Jongin laughed and put his arm around him to squeeze him.

As Minseok paid for their portion of the bill, Kyungsoo had remained standing, not bothering to retake his seat or acknowledge anyone at the table.

Baekhyun sighed. He wondered if Kyungsoo had always acted like a spoiled child when he didn’t like the circumstances around him, or was this something that he developed in the past few years because he found his life boring all of a sudden.

“Hey,” Baekhyun then said to Kyungsoo, getting up from his chair, “I’ll wait with you outside while Minseok finishes up.” He didn’t know what compelled him to offer this, but maybe it was that he had promised to be a good friend, and at the moment, Kyungsoo looked like he kinda needed one.

Kyungsoo nodded to him and walked back toward the door, Baekhyun catching up to him as they both stepped out into the nice breeze coming from the direction of the ocean.

“You alright?” Baekhyun asked him, already knowing the answer based on the way Kyungsoo had his arms crossed and seemed to sink into himself.

“I just need to go home,” Kyungsoo stated.

“Sleepy?”

Kyungsoo looked confused by this question and looked at him a moment, his brows furrowed, and then his brows relaxed and he shook his head.

“I just need to be alone.”

“That doesn’t sound like what you need,” Baekhyun stated, “But alright.”

“What do you think I need?”

“To hang out more with me so I can figure out how to put a smile back on your face. You were really distant all day.”

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“You need to not think too much. That’s the problem. You should come over to my place and let me kick your ass at video games.”

Kyungsoo blinked at him, and Baekhyun realized what he had proposed. He bit his lip as he watched Kyungsoo watching him.

“I think I’ll just go home,” Kyungsoo said after a moment had passed, and he looked over his shoulder as he heard Minseok’s voice from the door.

Baekhyun didn’t know what expression was on his own face, but he was glad either way that Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed it before looking back at him, already planting a smile instead and patting Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Fine, go be alone. Maybe you’ll…” he almost said “write some songs,” but thought better of it, not wanting to trigger any weird Chanyeol memories again. “…I don’t know. Read a good book.”

Kyungsoo looked at him oddly, but then nodded and turned to get into the car that Minseok had just opened.

“It was fate,” Sehun said, standing beside him as he waved to the car that Minseok now backed out of the parking spot. “We were meant to save Exodus. That’s why you were meant to go that night. To get Kyungsoo’s attention so that we could become their friends and save them.”

“Sehun, do you hear yourself right now?” Jongin said with a snort.

“We’re not meant to save Exodus,” Baekhyun said, patting Sehun on the back. “That’s cute, but no.”

“Fate is a very real thing,” Junmyeon then added.

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head. “I mean, whatever, maybe it is, but that’s not what this is. This is coincidence.”

“You’re right, it is,” Junmyeon agreed.

“Wait, you just said it was fate,” Sehun pointed out.

“No, I said fate is real, but Baekhyun meeting Kyungsoo was coincidence. However, now that he’s met him, what happens after this is fate.”

“This is why you should never go vegan, kids,” Jongin said, walking toward Junmyeon’s car.

“Come on, surfing star,” Baekhyun said, putting his hand around Sehun’s waist as he walked with him to his own car. “Are you okay to drive or are you too sleepy? I can drive you and stay the night.”

“I’m fine,” Sehun told him.

“Okay, get a ton of sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You too.”

They exchanged big hugs and Sehun whispered, “It’s fate,” in Baekhyun’s ear before letting go. Baekhyun laughed at him and smacked his arm before waving and heading back to Junmyeon’s car.

That night as he lay in bed, he considered what Junmyeon had said, and then decided that Junmyeon had no idea what he was talking about.


	7. Chapter 7

Baekhyun hadn’t been surprised when Kyungsoo didn’t join Minseok and Jongdae on the second day of competition. “He was too hungover to join,” Jongdae had explained. However, he had been surprised when the waves turned against Sehun, never giving him a good enough ride to qualify for the finals. They had treated him to sushi to try and make him feel better, but Sehun’s spirits wouldn’t be lifted so easily, and the next day he was back in his home waters, practicing for the next tournament.

He had texted Kyungsoo that night to give him the bad news and to check in on him, but he didn’t get a text back until several days later, asking if he’d be at Huntington and if he could go hang out with him. He made an exception to his weekday rule of not seeing Kyungsoo and told him that he’d be out there around 6:30 on Thursday night.

Sehun was out in the water, sitting on his board and letting the waves flow underneath him. Baekhyun sat on his beach blanket and watched him, wishing he could offer better words of encouragement to his friend. But he couldn’t. It was moments like these that were hardest for Baekhyun, for many reasons.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, arriving and sitting beside him. He looked like he had just showered, and Baekhyun took in his look, black board shorts and a black tee, no cap or sunglasses this time.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said giving him a big smile. He had missed him, which he knew was stupid. But he had been falling into a steady Kyungsoo routine and his absence had become noticeable.

“How’s he doing?” Kyungsoo asked, motioning toward Sehun with his hand.

“He’s… Eh, he’s in his head too much,” Baekhyun shrugged. “You know, surfing is a dangerous sport, but it’s also a sport that requires a bit of luck. You can’t control the waves, so you get what you get. Some no name could win an event if the conditions are just right and they happen to have a good run that day. Sehun knows that, and he honestly does love competing for the sake of competing, but ever since his parents pulled their support, he feels he has something to prove to them. That’s why it’s suddenly more important for him to win.”

“I can understand that completely,” Kyungsoo said, looking out at Sehun.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun asked, hoping he could get more out of him.

“I never have to prove myself to my mom,” Kyungsoo did elaborate, and Baekhyun listened intently. “But my dad is another story. He hates that I chose to do music professionally, so every time I come home and have to spend time with him, I want to prove to him that I was successful and that I’m doing great and that he had nothing to worry about. I buy him things that I know he’d want. I bought him a car that he had always dreamed of having. I bought him a rare book that he had been keeping an eye on for a long time. He always thanks me politely, but it doesn’t change how disappointed he still seems. I get wanting to prove yourself to your parents.”

Baekhyun didn’t. At least not in the same way, and since Kyungsoo had been so candid, he decided to share more personal things as well.

“I’m the opposite I think,” Baekhyun began. “I was always trying to prove myself to myself. My parents have always been supportive of what I do, so it never occurred to me to have to prove anything to them.”

“That’s a blessing,” Kyungsoo said, and then after a beat he asked, “So your concert piano thing was you proving yourself to yourself?”

Baekhyun sighed, knowing he had opened the door, and he nodded.

“My parents put me in a lot of things as a kid, tae kwan do, soccer, piano, skateboarding, baseball, hip hop dancing, art camp, they wanted me to find my passion early on so I could pursue it. I didn’t quite get the concept at a young age, so I thought I was supposed to pick the one I was best at, which turned out to be piano. So that’s what I pursued, and I would practice every day after school and on the weekends, and, well you know my personality, I became obsessed with it. My piano teacher and mentor groomed me to be a concert pianist, saying I had a gift, and when an adult tells a kid that, you believe it and feel you have to fulfill your full potential. The closer I got to my audition for Curtis, the more I stopped living my life and focusing only on that one thing. Kind of how Sehun does now. That’s why I come here every day after work, to pull him out of the water and make sure he eats and gets a good night’s sleep.”

“Sorry, I’m still on the Curtis part,” Kyungsoo said blinking at him. “Sehun wasn’t lying, you really were going to be a concert pianist. I mean the fact that you even got an audition with them…”

“Yeah, it was pretty intense,” Baekhyun nodded, running his hand through his hair. “My mentor had sent my audition video in when I was sixteen and still a sophomore. They came calling my junior year. They do auditions in LA for the west coasters so I didn’t even have to travel to Philly to audition.”

“So then what happened?” Kyungsoo asked when Baekhyun paused to watch Sehun as he paddled further back and then just sat on his surfboard again, watching the waves, as if having a telepathic conversation with them.

Baekhyun looked back toward Kyungsoo and saw a mixture of concern and great interest in his expression.

“Two nights before the audition, I was in the practice room of my high school playing Liszt’s ‘Valle d’Obermann,’ which was the fourth song I had picked for my audition repertoire. I had played it perfectly a million times before, and two days before I had to nail it, I wasn’t getting it right. Do you know it?”

Kyungsoo shook his head and said, “I know nothing about Classical music.”

“Well, I had chosen to perform it after a very energetic Chopin number with fast notes and quick movements. I thought it would be a good contrast to show my range. ‘Valle d’Obermann’ is a romantic piece, very delicate, very soft and peaceful, in a way. But I couldn’t channel that. I was so high strung, like a mad man in a lab creating Frankenstein’s monster all day and all night, so it kept coming out terrible. I was hitting the keys too hard, almost like when you’re stressed and you decide to take it out on the piano. Unknowingly that’s what I was doing. I was stressed from all the pressure I had put on myself. I started playing piano at age 6, from 6-10, I was obsessed with it, but still had a normal life. By 11, I stopped making new friends. By 13, I stopped talking to the ones I had except Sehun. By 14, my parents started to tell me to pull away from it because they were worried. By 15, I lost my first real chance at having my first relationship. I listened to no one, and the result was that two nights before my Curtis audition, I had a breakdown and cried myself to sleep in my high school practice room.”

“Oh no,” Kyungsoo said, reaching out to touch his arm, as if he was reliving it and needed the comfort. “What happened when you woke up?”

Baekhyun had to blink and focus, still surprised by Kyungsoo’s hand on his arm.

“I was woken up by my dad actually. I hadn’t come home and he got worried and came to find me. He knew that’s where I’d be. He took me home and didn’t say anything that night. The next morning during breakfast though, he told me that it was okay if I didn’t go to the audition, and I don’t know why, but at that moment, I finally wanted to listen to him. Like he had told me to relax before, and to not push myself harder, and that it was fine for me to take a break and so on, but I never listened because I felt this was something that I had to do, but at that moment, I wanted to listen to him. So I didn’t go. And then I had another breakdown because I thought I had ruined my entire life and everything I had worked for, but…”

Baekhyun looked out at the ocean again where Sehun had finally decided to ride a wave, a weak one, but one nonetheless, and Baekhyun smiled.

“It was Sehun that actually got me through it. He told me that maybe I could go back to how I used to be and that we could have fun again. I realized at that moment that I had become someone that I didn’t like at all. I thought I was better than other people because of my gift. I thought what I did was more important than what everyone else was doing. I thought it was the only thing that mattered, and I ended up losing a lot of friendships because of it. I have no idea why Sehun stuck around for it all, but he did, and he helped me become someone that I liked again. Someone that kept things simple and didn’t put too much pressure on himself.”

“I understand why you don’t want to be a professional photographer now,” Kyungsoo nodded, and Baekhyun looked back at him. “And even though you don’t talk about it, I’m glad you told me your concert pianist story.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Baekhyun said with a wry smile, messing up his own hair in self-consciousness, “I hate that I was ever like that and that people witnessed it. I wish I could erase it from everyone’s memories.”

“Do you ever regret missing the audition?”

“No. I was scared to see my mentor again after that, but I met up with him a few days after and told him I was quitting. He was okay with it too. He saw how I had changed and understood that I was doing what was right for me. He told me two things then that have stayed with me. One, that even if I hadn’t done my best and had put in my most lukewarm performance, he knows I would have gotten in. And two, I learned how to play the piano, and I can always play it again if I decide that I miss it. It was comforting. Like, it wasn’t all for nothing. I was good enough to get into Curtis. I probably would have very much been a concert pianist, but realized that I didn’t want to be. And at the end of the day, I do know how to play.”

“Do you ever miss it?”

“Sometimes, when I’m bored at work or tired, I’ll absently start moving my fingers and mentally play a song without realizing it until I catch myself. So maybe I subconsciously do. But I haven’t touched a piano since I quit. So I consciously don’t.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime, but I guess that would be a pipe dream,” Kyungsoo said with his own soft smile.

The few times that Kyungsoo smiled, Baekhyun’s stomach would do a weird flip thing that he wanted to happen over and over. Baekhyun hadn’t been quite successful yet in capturing his real smile in a photograph yet, and he mentally added that to his to do list.

“We all have those dreams,” Baekhyun answered with a small laugh, and then he couldn’t help himself from quoting Kendrick, “ _Martin had a dream. Martin had a dream. Baekhyun have a dream._ ”

Kyungsoo cocked his head amused and Baekhyun explained.

“Do you know Kendrick’s song ‘Backseat Freestyle’?”

Kyungsoo shook his head and said, “I only know the hits.”

“It’s not a hit?” Baekhyun asked, rather unironically. To him everything off _Good Kid: M.A.A.D City_ was a hit. “Well anyway, in the song, Kendrick sings ‘Martin had a dream. Kendrick have a dream.’ Sehun and I would always change ‘Kendrick’ to our names and it became our anthem. Although, mind you, the song itself isn’t the most relatable to either of us, but we claimed it anyway.”

“I was about to ask, how does a Korean kid from the O.C. suburbs relate to Kendrick?” Kyungsoo shifted to face him better and held his knees to his chest as he looked at him. “Like why was that the album that saved your life?”

“When I first heard that album, I was in college, trying to find myself and make up for all the things I missed out on while trying to pursue my crazy dream. The vibe of the album instantly drew me in. There were a lot of good beats too, and then I paid attention to the lyrics and I thought the whole album was the coolest thing ever created. Like he literally made an album about a day in his teenage life. The concept blew my mind. And the fact that this kid’s life in the songs was the exact opposite of mine. I couldn’t relate to a single thing this kid had gone through, and I don’t mean growing up in Compton and gang banging. Obviously I wasn’t going to relate to that, but I mean, the general themes, like how he’d hang out with his friends, how he had this crush on this girl, how he’d find himself up to no good through no fault of his own, how his parents nagged him all the time, like none of it. So then I became, no surprise here, obsessed with finding the commonalities. I even wrote a whole paper on this for one of my classes. And I found quite a bit, like we both have a dream,” Baekhyun said with a cheesy smile. “To answer your question of how it saved my life, I guess a better way of putting it is that it challenged me and inspired me and reminded me that I had a lot out there that I still had to experience and learn about.”

“So what is Baekhyun’s dream these days?” Kyungsoo asked him, appearing to be a little amused by all he had just said.

“To be happy. To not be stressed. To enjoy the simple things in life, like the ocean or a good happy hour with friends.”

“That does sound like a dream,” Kyungsoo said, looking reflective a bit and then glancing back out at the ocean where Sehun was back to sitting on his board, contemplating.

Baekhyun checked the time and stood up, walking to the shore and waving his hands at Sehun, then motioning for him to come back on shore when Sehun noticed him. Sehun shook his head and Baekhyun put his hands on his hips and gave him a look, which he knew Sehun would recognize even from the distance he was at. Sehun put up a finger in return, and Baekhyun crossed his arms and watched him.

Kyungsoo joined him by his side, and they both watched as Sehun took another minute or so before deciding to take a wave. And he did so, perfectly and with practiced ease.

“Show off,” Baekhyun teased Sehun, once he stood in front of him, shaking his head to rid water from his ears.

“I’ll get a better feel tomorrow,” Sehun said, not caring for the compliment at the moment as he took off toward the blanket.

Baekhyun sighed and uncrossed his arms, shrugging at Kyungsoo. “I’m not good at giving him advice when he gets like this,” Baekhyun explained as they walked away from the shore as well. “It’s like, I’ve been there, I get it. I don’t know.”

“I get the feeling that Sehun’s got this under control,” Kyungsoo told him, putting his arm around him, and then quickly taking it away.

Baekhyun was taken by surprise with the action, but tried to play it off and said, “Yeah, he probably does.”

Kyungsoo ran his fingers through his hair and didn’t say anything, his eyes a little wide as if he was thinking of something important.

“Where do you want to get food?” Baekhyun asked Sehun.

“I’m going to head home,” he said. “I have too much on my mind to be good company tonight.”

Baekhyun pouted a little but understood, and he helped Sehun carry his things back to his car.

“You know,” Kyungsoo said as he held Baekhyun’s camera bags while Baekhyun helped Sehun secure his surfboard to the top of Sehun’s car, “When I have a big show coming up that I know I rehearsed for, but I’m feeling unsure of how I’ll perform that night because I’m having an off day or I was sick or whatever, I remind myself that nothing actually bad will happen if I have an off night and that I should just go out there and have fun instead. Maybe my stakes aren’t as high as yours, but you’re really great at surfing, Sehun. You can win a tournament, of that I’m sure, but you can’t control an off day. So if you’re having one, just go out there and have fun. You might be surprised by the outcome.”

Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo, but not as widely as Sehun did, and Sehun reached over to give Kyungsoo a hug, which Kyungsoo actually did return, with a couple of pats on the back before Sehun let him go.

“Thank you,” Sehun told him. “I’ll remember that.”

They waved goodbye to Sehun as he got in his car, and then Baekhyun offered to walk Kyungsoo to his car. As they did, Baekhyun’s mind raced with how easily Kyungsoo had hugged Sehun compared to how he had wanted to hug Baekhyun and pulled his arm away instead. He knew it shouldn’t bother him, except that friends hugged, and his hug with Sehun was clearly a friend hug, so why did Kyungsoo not feel he could do the same with him? They had agreed to be friends, and yet it seemed Kyungsoo didn’t really see him as one yet. He didn’t want to let this bother him. He really really didn’t.

“This is my car,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun realized that Kyungsoo had stopped walking about five steps ago.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, turning around, “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you Saturday then?”

“Sure. Where?”

“Here is fine. Sehun will be practicing again, so I’ll be here.”

“Here it is,” Kyungsoo said, “See you Saturday,” and he opened his car door and got in.

Baekhyun waved at him and couldn’t help but feel deflated that he didn’t get a goodbye hug, which he explained to Junmyeon once he got home. His roommate was on the couch watching something comedic on TV while eating some vegan yogurt made out of coconut milk instead of animal milk, and Baekhyun plopped down beside him, feeling tired and confused, and then spilling what happened with the half hug and Sehun’s hug to Junmyeon in one very long run-on sentence that made his roommate look overwhelmed.

“I mean,” Junmyeon said, once he had processed the sudden attack of words, “You did make it clear to him that you didn’t want to hook up with him, so he’s probably unsure of what lines he can and can’t cross with you. Just clarify it for him the next time you see him.”

“How?” Baekhyun whined. “It’s going to sound so dumb. So I want you to hug me, but not sleep with me, k? Cool!” Baekhyun gave two obnoxious thumbs ups to prove his point.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, when you first met him, you were a 10 on the scale of not wanting to sleep with him. Where are you now?”

“What?” Baekhyun asked, blindsided by this question, “What kind of question is that?”

“A good one,” Junmyeon said, smiling at what he thought was his cleverness. “So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you not want to sleep with him?”

“It’s still a 10. I don’t want to sleep with him. I can’t believe you’re asking me that.”

“Just checking,” Junmyeon said. “Either way, talk to him, tell him friendship hugs are cool, but things like kissing aren’t. It’s better to define things and make them clear upfront.”

“Your advice is bad,” Baekhyun said. “It’d probably be better if you at least ate cheese.”

“Maybe,” Junmyeon said with a small laugh. “Good night, Baekhyun.”

“Good night, bad advice giver,” Baekhyun said going to his room.

As he went through his nighttime routine, he kept thinking about Junmyeon’s stupid, dumb, ridiculous question. Of course he still didn’t want to sleep with Kyungsoo. What would even give his roommate that idea? He just wanted to be friends with him and maybe get hugs from him sometimes. That was literally it. Oh, and take pictures of his smile, but in a way where he got him to smile a lot. Baekhyun could only imagine what that would look like, with his full, heart-shaped lips. Baekhyun was pretty sure he could spend a day photographing Kyungsoo’s lips by themselves, and then, he had a brief moment where he could picture himself touching them, and then he shook his head and his eyes widened. Okay, no, he just wanted to be friends, photograph his smile, and hug him sometimes. That was it. That was absolutely it.


	8. Chapter 8

Baekhyun had been enjoying his soda and fish taco at Happy Hour up until the point Sehun dropped a bomb on him that made him blink several times before saying, “What?”

“I told you he wasn’t going to take it well,” Junmyeon told Sehun.

“It’s a great idea!” Sehun said with a big smile. “And it would be great for the zine. It would take it to the next level.”

“I thought the zine was a side thing?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at his friend. “For both of you. As in you weren’t interested in taking it to the next level.”

“We’ve been talking lately about taking it to the next level,” Sehun said, his hands palms up as if he’d simply forgotten to mention this to Baekhyun at some point. “And this would so help us do that.”

“You never mentioned to me wanting to take it to the next level,” Baekhyun fired back, mostly to keep avoiding addressing the initial question.

“What difference does it make?” Junmyeon interjected, ruining Baekhyun’s plan of avoidance. “The point is, you have a lot of great pictures of Kyungsoo. You have access to Kyungsoo. An exclusive feature would help Sehun’s zine out.”

“It’s not even your zine,” Baekhyun whined, very much like a five-year-old.

“Well, it’s kinda half mine,” Sehun said, looking a little offended by this. “I mean, I feel that it’s partially mine.”

“You’re doing the ex-boyfriend thing wrong,” Baekhyun told him, and Sehun gave him a blank look. One that Baekhyun very much deserved. “I just mean that… never mind. Sorry. The point is, I wouldn’t feel comfortable about it.”

Back in college, Sehun fell into his first serious relationship with an art major named Tao. He was nice, a bit spoiled, sometimes a bit too full of himself, but he made Sehun laugh a lot and that made him an okay guy in Baekhyun’s eyes. When Tao decided to start the online zine to cover music, fashion, lifestyle and whatever whims he had at the moment, he enlisted his boyfriend at the time to help, and Sehun was such a nice person that even after they had broken up, he continued to help, which Baekhyun right now wished hadn’t been the case.

“What if you asked Kyungsoo and he was okay with it?” Junmyeon asked on Sehun’s behalf.

“What are you? His lawyer?” Baekhyun asked him, wondering why he felt like he was being tag teamed. “Are you part of the zine too all of a sudden?”

“You’re very defensive about this,” Sehun pointed out as he squirted more Tapatio on his fish taco. “It was just an idea, but I didn’t think it would bother you this much.”

“I just don’t feel like exploiting the situation,” Baekhyun explained.

“Okay,” Sehun said, and he dropped the subject, speaking instead with Junmyeon about how he was feeling better about the waves after having gone out early that morning for some practice runs.

Baekhyun tried to pay attention, but his mind kept wandering to Sehun’s request, thinking that maybe he hadn’t needed to be so defensive. Why did he get like that all of a sudden? I mean, it would help the zine out a lot, and it’s not like Baekhyun cared about Kyungsoo in a way where it mattered if he asked at least. Obviously he should be a good best friend and help Sehun out.

“Fine, I’ll ask him,” Baekhyun said after several long moments.

“You don’t have to,” Sehun said.

“No, it’s fine. I know this is important to you, so I’ll ask.”

“You don’t…” Sehun began again, but Junmyeon cut him off.

“Great. I’m sure he’ll be okay with it. I have a good feeling about it,” Junmyeon said giving him a smile while squeezing Sehun’s shoulder and then rubbing it a little.

Sehun looked down at Junmyeon’s hand and then up at his face and Junmyeon took his hand away and cleared his throat a little.

Much like how Kyungsoo had taken his arm away from Baekhyun…

Sehun had a crush on Junmyeon, but Junmyeon had a girlfriend, but Junmyeon knew Sehun had a crush on him, so maybe he didn’t want to lead him on.

Kyungsoo had a… crush didn’t seem like the right word. Kyungsoo had wanted to hook up with Baekhyun, but knew Baekhyun didn’t reciprocate.

He tried to correlate these things in his head to help him figure out why Kyungsoo wouldn’t touch him, but maybe if Junmyeon probably didn’t want Sehun to get the wrong idea, Kyungsoo also didn’t want Baekhyun to get the wrong idea, and once Baekhyun realized that it was exactly that, he felt a little sad about it.

“Are you okay?” Sehun asked him. “You really don’t have to ask him if it’s bothering you that much.”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun said, in a way that very much was not fine. “I should get going. I have some things I want to finish tonight before bed.”

“You’re not fine, but okay,” Sehun nodded.

Junmyeon paid the tab and linked his arm through Baekhyun’s as they left the restaurant, telling Sehun, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he gets home okay. I’m sure there’s a video game I can play with him to put him in a better mood.”

“I’ll send you instructions on how to hold the controller again,” Sehun threw at him, and Junmyeon made an affronted sound.

“Go to bed, Sehun,” Junmyeon said, giving him a bit of a mean face before laughing and leading Baekhyun to his car.

***

Baekhyun had been both dreading and looking forward to Saturday, part of him not sure how to talk to Kyungsoo about their boundaries, part of him not wanting to bring up the zine thing to Kyungsoo, and part of him wanting to see him again because he had kinda sorta missed looking at him.

Baekhyun had texted Kyungsoo to meet him on the pier, thinking he’d talk to him better if he was walking around and distracted by the sights, plus it gave him a chance to take some cool shots of Sehun from that higher angle.

But as he took pictures, he found his mind wandering, and soon he was just leaning against the railing, looking down at the waves as they hit the barnacle-covered cement pilings and getting lost in his thoughts.

“I pulled a you,” Kyungsoo said, interrupting him as he showed him his phone. He had taken a picture of Baekhyun lost in his own world, and then Baekhyun realized that he needed to fix his face if it really did look that disturbed and concerned.

“That’s a terrible picture of me,” Baekhyun commented, letting out a sigh.

He took in Kyungsoo’s appearance, relaxed in shorts and a T-shirt that seemed two sizes too big for him. He had on flip flops and shades, and Baekhyun noticed a small mark on Kyungsoo’s neck as he cocked his head a bit to assess the picture.

“I like it,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “You look pensive.”

But Baekhyun could only stare at his neck, the lapping waves providing the only soundtrack as every other noise seemed to disappear while Baekhyun hyper focused on what was clearly a love bite. Baekhyun reached out to touch it with his fingers, and Kyungsoo froze.

“You had a fun night, huh?” Baekhyun said casually, removing his fingers and looking at Kyungsoo, whose shades were not dark enough to hide the several blinks before he answered.

“I don’t remember. I was mostly drunk.”

“Sounds fun then,” Baekhyun said, and he forced a smile on his face then looked behind his shoulder at a couple of seagulls making an abundant amount of noise as they fought over a piece of popcorn someone had dropped on the pier. “So,” he then said, turning back to him, “Did you want to take more pictures today or just hang out?”

“Just hang out,” Kyungsoo said. “Unless you want to take pictures.”

“Hanging out’s fine,” he nodded, beginning to stroll, not sure of where to stroll to exactly. “So, Sehun has this dumb idea. Well it’s not dumb. He just… Apparently he and the other guy that run the zine want to know if they could do a feature for their site using some of the pics I’ve taken of you. I told him you probably wouldn’t be interested, but they think it could take their zine to the next level, so I’m asking on Sehun’s behalf.”

Yeah, that wasn’t awkward or anything. He wanted to start over the whole spiel, but it was too late, so he just glanced toward him.

“A feature?” He asked, not looking at him and instead taking in the fishermen on the side of the pier.

“Yeah, like I guess an interview and then using some of the pics I took to go with it. I told Sehun you probably wouldn’t go for it. I mean, the guy in the photo pit did tell me you hate doing interviews and don’t tend to show up to them. You know, forget I asked.” He was rambling and nothing that came out was worthy of having wasted the words. He was going to kill Sehun.

“I’ll do it,” Kyungsoo said. “But not right now. How about once I wrap my head around my solo album? Then I can give Sehun an exclusive to help the zine out.”

Baekhyun stopped walking and looked at him, maybe his eyes showed how shocked he was at this answer, or maybe his wide open mouth gave him away.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded, a slight smirk appearing, but it was a smirk of confusion. “Is that okay?”

“No, I mean, it’s more than okay,” Baekhyun said, “I just… I…” And then he thought about the hug, and the concern, and all the fondness that Kyungsoo had shown for Sehun and maybe he did feel a tiny pang of jealousy coarse through him, which he knew was ridiculous. Kyungsoo had wanted to sleep with Baekhyun in the first place. What was there to be jealous of? “Okay, I’ll let him know.”

“Maybe we’ll do another photo shoot closer to that time as well,” Kyungsoo mentioned.

“Yeah, probably,” Baekhyun said, his brows still a bit knitted as he looked toward the water to see Sehun paddling out again. “You really like him don’t you?”

It took Kyungsoo a moment to realize who he was referring to.

“Sehun? Yeah, he’s nice.”

“No, I mean…” Baekhyun shook his head and messed up his hair with his hand a little as he thought about how best to approach this. “Like, you give him hugs without thinking about it and give him a lot of support, but like, you started to give me a hug once and pulled away. It’s just, you know, we said we’d be friends, but I feel you treat him more like a friend than me.” Did that sound jealous? Crap. He sounded like a middle school kid arguing his case for why his classmates should be his friends.

Kyungsoo looked confused by this and then he had the audacity to have another smirk on his face.

“You sound jealous.”

“I know,” Baekhyun admitted, running his hand through his hair yet again and then dropping it exasperated. “I just feel that maybe we didn’t land on the same page with the friendship thing. Like maybe we need to talk about boundaries.”

“Boundaries?” Was Kyungsoo mocking him?

“Yeah, like, hugs are totally okay. I like hugs.”

“You like hugs. Okay. Anything else?”

“I… well other things haven’t come up,” Baekhyun reasoned.

“I didn’t hug you because I didn’t want you to think I was coming onto you again.”

“Well I wouldn’t think that with a friendship hug,” Baekhyun waved off. “There are different types of hugs and friendship hugs are fine.”

“Why don’t you show me what a friendship hug is then? So I know what your boundary is.”

He was totally mocking him. Baekhyun gave him an unamused look, but played along anyway and reached in to hug Kyungsoo. He gave him two pats on the back and let him go. And then he hated that the first thought he had was that Kyungsoo had felt rather nice in his arms and he really wouldn’t have minded not letting go. This was terrible.

“Okay, let me try,” Kyungsoo said, leaning in and giving him the same type of hug and two pats on the back before letting go. “That okay?”

Baekhyun watched him and felt… he wasn’t sure what he felt, but his stomach felt a little empty and he suddenly thought that he might be a little sad.

Whatever was conveyed on his face made Kyungsoo lose his smirk and say, “So not okay?”

“I like you,” Baekhyun confessed. He hadn’t meant to. It just popped out of his mouth, mostly because that’s what he was thinking.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, appearing to freeze again.

“I like you,” Baekhyun said again, defeated. “I admitted it to my friends, but… I thought I’d be okay with us just being friends, but… I liked hugging you. I like taking pictures of you. I get jealous when you like Sehun more than me. I get jealous when girls walk out of your bedroom. I get jealous when you have hickeys on your neck. This isn’t good.”

“You said…” Kyungsoo looked so confused, and he put his hands on his hips to look at him.

“I know what I said,” Baekhyun snapped. “But it somehow changed, so I’m thinking that maybe we shouldn’t try and be friends and maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “How is that your train of thought?”

“Because the more I hang out with you, the more I like you. It’s a serious problem,” Baekhyun said, copying his hands on the hips pose. “I didn’t like you at first, but then you kept being around me, and I kept taking pictures of you, and you’re… stupid good looking, which isn’t fair. I mean, I’m human, obviously I found you attractive, but it’s stupid for me to like you so we should just stop hanging out.”

Kyungsoo looked as confused as Baekhyun felt and he suddenly wished he was one of the seagulls, taking off in flight far away from the pier and the situation.

“Why is it stupid for you to like me?” Kyungsoo then asked, but his voice had softened and even behind his shades, Baekhyun could feel the intense look focused in his direction. “Never mind, don’t answer that,” Kyungsoo then said before Baekhyun could reply. “You’re right, it is stupid to like me.”

“Not because of you,” Baekhyun explained, but Kyungsoo cut him off before he could elaborate.

“No, it is because of me. I turn people off. People think they like me, and then they get to know me, and then they decide I’m not worth their time.”

“That can’t be true,” Baekhyun said, sighing and dropping his arms. “Either way, it really isn’t because of you. You’re fine. You’re more than fine, well when you’re not being so moody and anti-social, but it really is because of me. I don’t really get involved with people, and I’m not a one-night stand kind of guy, so there’s really no point.”

Kyungsoo seemed to study him, then dropped his hands as well, but only to cross them instead. “Have you never had a boyfriend? Or girlfriend? You still haven’t answered that question for me.”

“I kind of tried the boyfriend thing in college. It was a disaster. Well, mostly because I was obsessed with doing it right and trying to be the perfect boyfriend, which just made him think I was crazy after a while. Anyway, I’m busy and stuff so I don’t really have time for things like that.”

“I’ve had three girlfriends in my life,” Kyungsoo told him. “One in high school, one in Korea while I was in college, and one after we became successful. All three didn’t think I cared enough. They never understood that I showed how much I cared in different ways than other people do.”

Baekhyun thought this made a lot of sense. He thought about how Kyungsoo would be with him at the beach, off in his own world, not seeming to care about why he was there, then later Baekhyun would learn that he had been invested in Sehun’s surfing or Baekhyun’s photography.

“Three girlfriends, huh?” Baekhyun nodded, “No boyfriends?”

“Not yet,” Kyungsoo stated, sucking his bottom lip in a little as he looked at Baekhyun.

For his part, Baekhyun really would have appreciated if he hadn’t chosen that moment to do that because it was distracting and it was making Baekhyun forget what his point was.

“Anyway, we shouldn’t hang out anymore,” he decided to just reiterate instead.

“Kiss me,” Kyungsoo said, which was not even in the realm of things Baekhyun had expected him to say.

“What?” Baekhyun must have looked like he was having a crisis in that moment, at least that’s how he felt.

“I’m not going to cross your boundaries,” Kyungsoo told him. “So I can’t kiss you like I want to do right now. Instead, you’re going to have to kiss me.”

“You want to kiss me right now?” Baekhyun wasn’t trying to be obtuse, but this wasn’t the direction he thought they’d be going in when he had suggested them no longer hanging out. In fact, he was expecting to be back on his beach blanket by now, alone, lonely, regretful for what he didn’t take a chance on…

“I want you to kiss me so that you can stop being dumb about this and realize that this is what you really want.”

Is this what he really wanted? He wanted things to be simple. Nothing about this seemed simple.

“I’m counting to three,” Kyungsoo warned, putting up one finger, “One.”

“What happens at three?” Baekhyun asked, raising his hands in confusion.

“Then you miss your chance, and we stop hanging out like you want, and I walk out of your life forever. Two.”

Baekhyun suddenly realized that he didn’t want to take that chance, and he lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist as his lips met Kyungsoo’s plump ones that felt just as soft as he had envisioned them to feel. The heat of the sun’s rays made him dizzy, at least he’d blame the sun for now, and as he pulled his lips away, he looked up at Kyungsoo, who had put his hands on Baekhyun’s waist and held him steady while he licked his bottom lip.

“I knew you were a good kisser,” Kyungsoo told him.

“I figured you were too,” Baekhyun said back, a small blush spreading on his cheeks, or maybe it was a slight sunburn.

“Then why are we not still kissing?”

Baekhyun leaned in again and this time settled into the kiss better, smiling into it as he tasted the remnants of Kyungsoo’s mouthwash and toothpaste. He had certainly been better prepared for this moment than Baekhyun had, whose lips probably tasted like the Gatorade he had been drinking on the beach.

When he paused to look at him again, he reached up to touch Kyungsoo’s cheek, and then let his fingers trace over his jaw.

“I have this dream of taking a picture of your smile,” Baekhyun confessed to him, as if confessing he liked him hadn’t been enough for the day.

Kyungsoo smiled, “Should I say cheese?”

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head with a little smile of his own, “It’s a certain smile. The kind you can’t force. Next time we do pictures, I’ll keep an eye out for it, and if it happens, I’ll show it to you.”

“I hope it happens,” Kyungsoo said, still holding him and Baekhyun wanted him to never let go, but then he came to his senses and pulled away, trying not to freak out.

“Wait, what just happened?”

“You kissed me,” Kyungsoo reminded him. “And you liked it. And you want to do it again. So we should keep hanging out so we can keep doing it.”

Baekhyun’s head tilted a little as he gave him a rather shy side glance, “I guess we can be friends that kiss,” he then said, realizing that it was what he really wanted. “At least until you leave back to Korea.”

Kyungsoo stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Baekhyun’s waist again, pulling him back close to him and tilting his head, slowly and tenderly kissing him again, and Baekhyun savored every single millisecond of it.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hold on,” Sehun said, putting his very large slice of pepperoni pizza down just so he could put his hand up, “What?”

Baekhyun had thought it best to break the news to his friends back home under the guise of an impromptu pizza party.

“Start from the beginning,” Junmyeon instructed before taking a bite of his vegan pizza.

“And don’t leave out any important details,” Jongin warned him as he sprinkled more red pepper over his slice of pepperoni pizza.

To Baekhyun, all the details had been important, how his shades made Kyungsoo look cool and disaffected in a hot way, how his breath had been minty fresh, how the sea breeze made his hair play around, each new position an even better look than the last…

“Well, he met me at the pier,” Baekhyun began, and by the time he finished the story for his captive audience, he wished he was still on the pier kissing Kyungsoo. He took a bite of his pizza so he didn’t have to answer questions.

“This is so great,” Sehun said excited. “I knew this was going to happen.”

“I’m happy you realized that this is what you wanted,” Junmyeon nodded with a smile.

“It’s good, Baek,” Jongin said with a big smile, “It’s been awhile for you. You deserve this.”

“He’ll be your boyfriend before you know it,” Sehun stated, his arm in the air as if giving him a cheer.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Junmyeon told him.

“Could you imagine though?” Jongin said as he left his crust on his plate and grabbed another slice, “Our own Baekhyun, dating a rock star.”

“Tao is going to die when I tell him,” Sehun said, agreeing with Jongin’s sentiment.

Baekhyun almost choked on his crust and put his hand up, his eyes going wide at Sehun, “Um, no? We’re not telling Tao?”

“We’re not?” Sehun pouted.

“Because we can’t tell people this,” Baekhyun reasoned, “Don’t tell anyone. I mean, this is all probably nothing. We’re just friends that kiss, and then when he goes back to Korea, we probably won’t even be friends anymore. So it’s nothing. And you shouldn’t waste people’s time by telling them nothing.”

“It is probably best to keep this quiet since it’s in the early stages,” Junmyeon reasoned with Sehun.

“Okay,” Sehun nodded, and he took another bite of his pizza before adding, “I’ll tell him when you guys become official.”

“That’s not happening!” Baekhyun said with wide eyes and a surprised smile, and Sehun cracked up, so Baekhyun threw a packet of parmesan cheese at Sehun and laughed as well.

***

The waves were calmer than usual, so Baekhyun focused on capturing more atmospheric types of shots under the pier, trying out different filters as small sprays of water ricocheted off the cement piles that held up the large pier above them.

He felt his forearm being grabbed, and then he was being pulled toward a direction, watching with a smile as Kyungsoo stepped backwards in the wet sand until his back was up against a round pile. He pulled Baekhyun into him, a kiss greeting him for his acquiescence.

Despite it being only their second day of being kissing friends, Baekhyun found himself already enjoying the routine of it. He found kissing Kyungsoo comforting, and when Kyungsoo’s hand went into his hair, he found that kissing Kyungsoo had been necessary.

His friends hadn’t been lying about his needs, but he found it so hard to date people when he spent all his time either at work or on the beach making sure Sehun made it out of the water safely and at a decent time. And he hadn’t been lying either about his past relationship. In his quest to be the perfect boyfriend, he had actually been a terrible boyfriend.

_“You’re trying so hard to make sure we’re the perfect couple that you’re not letting us just be a couple,” Kris had yelled at him on the night that he had decided enough was enough._

That moment had stung, but Kyungsoo’s kisses down his jaw in this present moment were an elixir for the painful memory, and Baekhyun cocked his head so that Kyungsoo could have access to his neck. Kyungsoo took the invitation, first with soft lips, and then with a sucking motion and a flick of his tongue that made Baekhyun giggle.

“Oh, you’re ticklish there,” Kyungsoo said with a smirk as he looked at him.

“I’m very sensitive there,” Baekhyun confirmed, using his free hand that he had rested on Kyungsoo’s hip to rub small circles, just above his hip through the thin fabric of his black T-shirt. “Also, I just had a thought that this was so high school. Like, kissing under the pier in general, but also… just how I feel I guess.”

“Like we’re classmates on a school trip to the beach and we snuck away while the teachers were making students collect water samples?”

“Exactly like that,” Baekhyun said, grateful he understood. “I wish I had gone to school with you. I bet things would have been different if I had met you back then.”

“They wouldn’t have been too different,” Kyungsoo said, reaching up so his fingers could push back some of Baekhyun’s bangs. The idea that Kyungsoo wanted to look at him better made his stomach flutter. “You would have still been training to be a concert pianist, and I still would have been doing Bieber covers at the talent show with my best friend. You would have thought we were lame for not doing more sophisticated music. I wouldn’t have liked you for thinking you were a more serious musician than we were just because you were playing Classical music and spending all night in the practice room.”

“Okay, maybe not too different,” Baekhyun acknowledged, “But secretly we would have had crushes on each other, and on school field trips we would have been under this pier kissing.”

Kyungsoo laughed, and Baekhyun had never seen him do so. He blinked several times and was so upset with himself for not capturing it on his camera, but then he realized, it wasn’t for his camera, it had been for him and only him–not something to share with the world.

“It’s too bad we didn’t go to the same high school then,” Kyungsoo said, wrapping his arm back around his waist to pull him closer again so he could return to kissing him.

It was too bad, but then again, it was kind of nice that it was happening now when Baekhyun was a better person than he had been back then. Although, as he slipped his fingers under Kyungsoo’s shirt finally and was rewarded with a deepened kiss, he did think it would have been nice to have known the Kyungsoo that existed before his dreams had become boring.

***

As they walked back toward the beach blanket, Kyungsoo reached over and took Baekhyun’s hand into his, then asked, “Is this okay? Where does this fall on your boundary line?”

Baekhyun had been caught off guard by both the act and the question, and he had to look down to confirm that Kyungsoo held his hand and he wasn’t just wishing it for it to be true.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun said, a bit shy as he hid a small smile, or tried to by looking toward the water where Sehun was coming out.

They were at the blanket too quickly and he wanted to almost suggest they continue walking up the shoreline, but Kyungsoo had let go already and a very wet Sehun shook his hair and splattered water drops everywhere.

“Hey, hey,” Baekhyun said, putting his hands up as he teased him. “I didn’t ask for a shower.”

“Sorry, swimmer’s ear,” Sehun said.

Jongin came bouncing down from the tower and pat Sehun’s back.

“The waves sucked today. Call it a night so you can help me with my training.”

“Yeah, let me just put my board away,” Sehun said, motioning for him to unzip his wetsuit for him.

“Jongin’s been training for the Lifeguard Games,” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo, “You’re totally invited to come with us to cheer him on.”

“They have Lifeguard Games?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrow raised.

“They do,” Jongin said with a chuckle. “You compete for bragging rights. I’m hoping to win so I can brag about it to my boss and get a promotion and raise.”

“Great strategy,” Baekhyun said giving him a thumbs up.

“I feel like this is something I have to see,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“I bet Jongdae would love it too,” Sehun said with excitement. “You should bring him along.”

“I’ll let him know about it,” Kyungsoo said with that soft smile he always seemed to give Sehun, and Baekhyun felt he should be jealous again, but a soft smile was nothing compared to everything Kyungsoo had given him that day, so he nodded in agreement with his own smile on his face.

They walked up to the parking lot and then gave encouraging words to Jongin before the lifeguard and surfer headed back toward the water.

“What are you doing now?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“I had originally planned to go home and play some video games. I was probably going to pick up take-out along the way,” Baekhyun blinked and then realized Kyungsoo may have been asking him this for a reason. “Do you want to come over?”

“I do,” Kyungsoo said, reaching out to cup Baekhyun’s face again, and Baekhyun was sure his breathing had slowed or stopped altogether, except when Kyungsoo took his hand away and then Baekhyun’s heart sped up. “But I’m not sure I could stop myself from crossing boundaries if I’m at your place, so I think I should head home instead.”

“You can’t just kiss me all night? And hold my hand?” Baekhyun asked, not wanting him to leave and very much wanting him to come over.

“You hanging out with me made you start liking me, me kissing you reminded me why I wanted to hook up with you in the first place.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, now wondering why he had thought that was a bad idea.

“Anyway, I’ll see you soon. Next weekend?”

Baekhyun’s stomach sunk. He wanted him to come home with him. He wanted to see him every day so they could kiss. And then he reminded himself that this was only day two. He needed to not fall into his old habits of getting too invested in things or people.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Next weekend.”

Kyungsoo leaned in for a kiss and Baekhyun gave it to him, wishing it could last longer than it did. They parted ways and Baekhyun sat in his car for a moment, staring straight ahead at nothing and thinking about what Kyungsoo had told him. Stupid boundaries. And stupid Kyungsoo for suddenly not wanting to cross them when he hadn’t seemed to care at all about boundaries on the night they had met.


	10. Chapter 10

Baekhyun didn’t make it to the weekend. Kyungsoo had texted him the day after saying he was bored, so they ended up back on the beach to watch the sunset, spending more time kissing and not paying particular attention to the sun, finally glancing west only to find that it had fallen below the horizon.

The day after, they had gone to watch Jongin practice for the Lifeguard Games, offering cheers of encouragement in between kisses that now included hands under shirts and Kyungsoo’s hand at one point sliding down Baekhyun’s back and ducking just below the waistline of his shorts ever so slightly to give Baekhyun enough of a tingle of the possibilities.

By the time the weekend did come around, Baekhyun had told Kyungsoo that he’d come to his place instead of meeting at a beach. In public, they could only do so much, but at his place, maybe they could do a bit more, like maybe more skin touching and… well whatever that could lead to.

“I brought us lunch,” Baekhyun told him with a big smile, holding up the reusable bag that he had filled up at the grocery store on the way there.

“Always so prepared,” Kyungsoo said with a smile, letting him in and taking the bag from him to carry to the dining table.

Baekhyun noticed that his bedroom door was open and smiled a little to himself, grateful that Kyungsoo hadn’t had any one-night-stands over. He checked his neck as well, and smiled even more when there were no hickies present. It’s not like Kyungsoo couldn’t keep hooking up with whoever he wanted, after all, they were just friends that kissed, but still, it warmed Baekhyun that it didn’t seem he had since they had made that arrangement.

“I bought French bread loafs and some fancy deli meats to make us sandwiches, and then fresh fruit to make a fruit salad and some wine. We could make it all and take it down to the pier to eat.”

“That sounds nice,” Kyungsoo said, with an amused glance.

“But we don’t have to do that right away,” Baekhyun mentioned. “I mean, we can just chill for a bit.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo said, a knowing smirk joining his amused expression as he took the bag  to the kitchen to put in the fridge.

Kyungsoo took Baekhyun’s hand and led him to his couch, wasting no time in leaning in to kiss him, pushing him back so that Baekhyun’s head rested comfortably on the couch pillow that laid against the arm of the couch. Baekhyun giggled and tried to hide it by kissing him back, letting his hands slide under Kyungsoo’s T-shirt and enjoying the feel of his warm skin on his fingertips.

“You know,” Baekhyun said at some point when they had stopped to catch their breaths, “The first time I came to your place, this wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“It’s not my place,” Kyungsoo said, teasing Baekhyun’s nose with his own as he steadied his breathing.

“Wait, it’s not?” Baekhyun looked at him and blinked.

“I’m just renting it for the summer while I’m here,” Kyungsoo mentioned, and went in for the new round of kissing, which Baekhyun reciprocated while melting into it.

It made sense then that everything about the place was generic, and Baekhyun wondered what a place that actually was his would be decorated like. He imagined it’d be musical in some way, maybe with vinyl records on the wall and guitars all around.

Kyungsoo shifted so that he lay on top of him and Baekhyun groaned at the new position and the way it applied pressure to his groin in a way he hadn’t been expecting. When Kyungsoo’s lips left his, it was to attack his neck, and Baekhyun moved his head to give him all the neck space he wanted, giggling every time Kyungsoo stopped kissing it to lick it.

“I love how ticklish you are here,” Kyungsoo mentioned before doing it again, and Baekhyun’s whole body convulsed into a loud giggle that made Kyungsoo chuckle.

“But I like it, don’t stop,” Baekhyun whined, and he bit his lip, moaning when Kyungsoo started kissing his neck again.

“Are you ticklish anywhere?” Baekhyun asked, moving his head the other way so Kyungsoo could give the other side of his neck the equal amount of attention.

“You’ll have to find out on your own. Like how I found out about this,” Kyungsoo teased, going in for more kisses and licks.

Baekhyun laughed and ran his hands up and down Kyungsoo’s back, feeling himself become more and more excited as Kyungsoo sucked on his skin. His mind may have been going a bit hazy as his hands wandered on their own and down to slide under the hem of Kyungsoo’s shorts. He felt Kyungsoo pause for a split second then resume his attack on Baekhyun’s neck, and he knew it was a sign that Kyungsoo was giving him permission to keep going, but now Baekhyun realized that he was starting to have a serious problem in his own pants.

“Okay, lunch time,” he said, a bit breathless as he slid his hands back up to the safety of Kyungsoo’s lower back.

Kyungsoo gave one last soft kiss to his neck, then found his lips to give another soft kiss, before sitting back up against his heels and looking down at him with eyes that wanted more.

Baekhyun understood. He wanted more too, but…. He wasn’t even sure anymore why he wouldn’t give him more.

Kyungsoo got up from the couch and said, “I’ll get the lunch stuff out of the fridge,” as he walked away, maybe sensing that Baekhyun needed a few more minutes to calm himself down.

He knew he really needed to think about this and reconsider things. Or maybe he needed to not think about it all and just act upon his emotions and instincts. Why did this have to be so confusing?

They worked in tandem in the kitchen, preparing their sandwiches and Baekhyun discovering that Kyungsoo’s fridge was rather well-stocked with condiments and other fun stuff that could go on their sandwiches. They cut up the fruit and put it in a plastic container, then grabbed the wine, deciding to walk the several blocks down to the Newport Beach Pier.

The fishermen were out in large numbers, their lines cast and their buckets already half full as Baekhyun and Kyungsoo walked by them, trying to find the perfect spot on the pier to have their impromptu picnic.

They found an unoccupied bench toward the end of the pier and made it theirs, starting in on their sandwiches as soon as they sat down since the walk had made their appetites grow exponentially.

“So if you have family in town, why are you renting a place?” Baekhyun asked, savoring his sandwich and thinking it was the best one he had ever made.

Kyungsoo shrugged and stared at his sandwich as he finished chewing, “It just makes things easier,” he said. “In the past, I’ve stayed with my mom on my breaks, and she spends the whole time worrying about me and thinking I’ve lost weight or am unhappy, so she makes me a ton of food and tries to feed me every ten minutes thinking that will fix everything. The few times I’ve stayed with my dad, he can usually only go about an hour before asking me if I’d consider quitting the music thing to go to college, or bring up something he read about me on the Korean gossip sites that he’s found disappointing, regardless if I tell him if it’s true or not.”

“Parents,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head.

“Don’t even pretend you can relate,” Kyungsoo said, giving him a knowing glance. “I’m sure if you had been a concert pianist, you’d come home and your parents would make you all your favorite foods while being excited to hear all your stories from all the different shows. No worrying or guilt tripping included.”

“Yeah, probably,” Baekhyun said a bit sheepishly and took another bite, “So then why not get a place with your bandmates? I bet that could be fun. Or Minseok? He seems like he’d be a good roommate.”

“The way Junmyeon is a good roommate?” Kyungsoo asked, eating more and giving him a look Baekhyun couldn’t quite make out. Was it mocking?

“Joons is an awesome roommate,” Baekhyun said with a big smile. “As long as I don’t go in his room. Like I thought I was a messy person, and then I started living with him. We had to hire a person to come clean every two weeks because otherwise they’d have to declare our place a state of emergency thanks to him.”

“He’s really good looking,” Kyungsoo then mentioned, grabbing a grape from their fruit container to throw in his mouth. “I’m surprised you’re not kissing friends with him.”

Baekhyun almost choked on his sandwich and took a sip from his cup of wine to better handle responding to that ridiculous notion.

“First of all,” Baekhyun said, wanting to laugh, “He’s straight and has a girlfriend. Second of all, Sehun has had the biggest crush on him since the day I introduced them, so even if I wanted to like him like that, I wouldn’t. Best friend code and all. Also, third, he’s not my type. Like yeah, he’s handsome and all, but he’s vegan and into nature things and Buddhism and using herbs to treat things instead of like real medicine. He’s really weird. I mentioned the vegan thing, right? So weird.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at him, and whatever the initial look had been was now gone as he ate more of his sandwich in ease.

“So then what is your type?” Kyungsoo asked him, popping another grape in his mouth.

“Um…” Baekhyun’s brows furrowed as he thought about this. He didn’t really think he had a type. He’d only had one boyfriend and had only been seriously attracted to one other person before him, and neither of them had much in common. “I don’t know. I just know it’s not vegan. Do you have a type?”

“Hm,” was Kyungsoo’s only response as he took another bite of his sandwich and stared out at the ocean, a small smile on his face.

Baekhyun waited for him to explain the small noise as he devoured the rest of his sandwich, and when none came, he returned to his question that Kyungsoo hadn’t answered.

“So you never answered my question,” Baekhyun said, pouring them more wine into their cups. “Why not live with your bandmates?” And it wasn’t until he asked it, and saw Kyungsoo’s eyes drop a little as he finished his sandwich, that he considered that maybe Kyungsoo had avoided answering in the first place on purpose.

“We live together enough on tour,” he then said, nodding at Baekhyun for the refill before taking a sip. “We don’t need to live together on break.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess you need your space,” Baekhyun said with a small chuckle, trying to play off whatever mood it looked like Kyungsoo might fall into at any moment. “Wouldn’t want to bring any of your one-night-stands home with Minseok in the house,” he teased.

“Minseok is very used to me bringing home one-night-stands,” Kyungsoo stated, looking back at Baekhyun with almost challenging eyes.

“Are they always girls?” Baekhyun challenged back. He had been wondering this since they had started their kissing friendship. “You’ve only ever had girlfriends, and the one time I saw someone leave your place it was a girl.”

“Primarily, yes,” Kyungsoo affirmed.

“So you lean more toward girls than boys,” Baekhyun stated, more for himself. He supposed he needed that reality check to keep himself from getting too caught up in something that wasn’t meant to be anything.

“I do,” Kyungsoo said, his gaze still firmly on Baekhyun’s.

“So how much experience exactly have you had with boys then?” Baekhyun asked, realizing that he had always assumed it was plenty, but now he wasn’t sure.

“Quite a bit,” Kyungsoo said with a soft smirk that seemed almost unintentional. Almost.

“I sensed that,” Baekhyun said, feeling a bit bashful all of a sudden.

“But maybe not in the way you think,” Kyungsoo added, and it almost seemed as if he got caught up in a memory with the way he paused and looked a bit past him at nothing in particular.

“How so then?”

Kyungsoo shook his head and looked back at him for a moment, then looked down at the fruit to grab a piece of watermelon.

“Do you like girls at all?” Kyungsoo asked him instead.

“As friends I don’t want to kiss? Yeah, sure,” Baekhyun joked.

They finished the fruit and wine and shared some little kisses before throwing their trash away and heading back to Kyungsoo’s place.

This time Baekhyun took the initiative to hold Kyungsoo’s hand, which made Kyungsoo smile, and Baekhyun realized that whatever his type was, Kyungsoo fit the description. He also realized that when they got back to his place, he wouldn’t stop Kyungsoo from exploring further, and he would initiate some things, and he knew then that he very much had decided that he was ready to succumb completely to Kyungsoo’s initial request.

However, when they reached Kyungsoo’s apartment, a very stressed Minseok was pacing back and forth in front of the door on his phone.

“Shit,” Kyungsoo said under his breath.

Minseok spotted him and said, “He’s here,” into the call before hanging up and approaching Kyungsoo with very furious strides. “Why haven’t you been picking up my calls? Where have you been?”

“I left my phone,” Kyungsoo shrugged, nonplussed at the smaller man’s ire as he walked past him to open his door.

Baekhyun watched as Minseok placed his hands on his hips and looked up and started counting to himself.

He was sure he should leave, but he didn’t feel like turning around and going back to the elevator without saying bye first, so he stepped inside and found Kyungsoo standing near his dining table and scrolling through what seemed like messages on his phone.

“Avoiding our calls isn’t going to make this go away,” Minseok said, when he finally came in. “I told the guys to be here, so they’re on their way.”

Kyungsoo cut a glare toward Minseok, who put his hand up to wave him off.

“I don’t care if you’re upset,” Minseok continued, “This has to get done.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, not slamming his phone down on the table, but still, it hadn’t been a gentle return to the wooden surface. “We’re not putting an album out anytime soon. Jongdae’s working on his solo album. I’m working on my solo album…”

“Really? You have any songs to show me?”

Kyungsoo bit his lip and narrowed his eyes at his manager.

Minseok took a deep breath and passed a hand through his hair, “Soo, if this was Yixing and Jongdae, you would have already invited them over to hear what they came up with. You don’t have to talk to Chanyeol or even acknowledge his presence, just sit here and listen to the songs and then we’ll all leave.”

Baekhyun felt very awkward standing there, but he couldn’t find the right time to interject that he would get going.

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo said, and he marched off to his room and slammed his door, which made Baekhyun feel even more awkward.

Minseok sighed again and looked toward Baekhyun, feeling the need to explain, “He’s been avoiding our calls all week. I came to check up on him, but never found him here.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun said, “I didn’t know. We’d been hanging out in the evenings.”

“It wasn’t just the evenings. Even during the day he hasn’t been here. He’s purposely avoiding us because he doesn’t want to deal with this non-issue.”

Baekhyun could sense the frustration in Minseok’s tone, and he wished he had saved him some of the wine to de-stress him a little.

“Well, I should probably go then,” Baekhyun said clearing his throat. “I’ll go say bye to him.”

“I don’t think you need to leave,” Minseok said, pulling out a chair so he could sit, and motioning for Baekhyun to do the same. “He likes hanging out with you, so he’ll probably need you to calm him down after all this.”

Baekhyun sat and wished now that he had more wine for himself and Kyungsoo if that was the case.

It didn’t take long for the bandmembers to start arriving and Baekhyun was glad that Jongdae and Yixing arrived first, brightening the mood a bit as Jongdae went to coax Kyungsoo out of his room while Yixing set up his laptop on the coffee table in the living room.

Baekhyun decided he’d remain as inconspicuous as possible by hanging out in the kitchen and looking through the cupboards, pantry, and fridge for possible snacks.

He had found boxes of Pepero, all of the almond and chocolate variety, and some cheesy popcorn that he poured into a bowl he had found in one of the cupboards. He ate a handful of it before taking it to the living room and putting it on the coffee table for them.

“Thanks,” Yixing told him with a smile. “How have you been?”

“Good, how about you?” Baekhyun asked him, returning the smile and opening one of the boxes of Pepero before placing it on the coffee table. “He only had the chocolate and almond kind. Is that his favorite?”

“I’ve been well,” Yixing nodded and then smiled with fondness at the box. “Those are his favorite. His mom does groceries for him every week and makes sure this place stays well-stocked with all his favorite snacks and food.”

“Kyungsoo is so spoiled,” Baekhyun said, with a small laugh.

“That he is,” Yixing said with his own chuckle.

A slight knock on the door signaled Chanyeol’s arrival and Minseok took a deep breath before he opened it to let him in.

Baekhyun smiled at him and greeted him with a nod, and Chanyeol looked a little unsure as he nodded back, but then seemed to realize where he had seen him before.

“I met you backstage at the show,” Baekhyun reminded him.

“Oh, right,” Chanyeol nodded. “Good to see you again.”

“Yeah, same,” Baekhyun said with a smile.

He didn’t know why, but as he took in the tall former best friend of Kyungsoo, he felt the same desire within him that Sehun had felt about saving the band. Chanyeol didn’t look happy to be there, and without even knowing him or the full details of the situation, it didn’t seem right.

“Okay, you’re going to sit and listen,” Jongdae said as he walked behind Kyungsoo with his hands on Kyungsoo’s shoulders, physically pushing him toward the living room. “And then after that you can go back to your room and sulk.”

Baekhyun took another handful of popcorn and a Pepero stick and went back to the dining room to sit, out of their way, but not out of their sight. He thought maybe he should go to the bedroom and wait things out there, but no one seemed to mind him sitting at the dining table.

Kyungsoo sat in an armchair, wrapping his arms around his drawn up knees and pouting like a petulant five-year-old. Chanyeol sat in the armchair on the other side, staring at the wall, while Yixing, Jongdae, and Minseok sat on the couch, appearing as if they were spectators of the duel they were about to witness.

“Go ahead and play the first song,” Minseok instructed Yixing.

Yixing tapped a button on his laptop and the song that came out was interesting in a way that Baekhyun hadn’t expected. It didn’t sound anything like what he had heard them do live at the show, but it was definitely more up his alley, with a strong bass line and a bit of an urban undertone accompanying the loud guitars.

“What do you think?” Minseok asked Kyungsoo once it was done.

“I don’t like it,” Kyungsoo said, and when Chanyeol scoffed and threw a hand up as if to indicate there was no point to this exercise, Baekhyun felt his pain.

In fact, as the next song played, Baekhyun watched Kyungsoo carefully as he looked down at his knees, or over to a generic painting on the wall, or at the coffee table, like he was lost in his own world. He wasn’t even paying attention, and it bothered Baekhyun enough to know that his bandmembers were probably frustrated and becoming impatient with him.

“That one was worse,” Kyungsoo stated.

“Soo,” Minseok began, but Chanyeol cut him off.

“There’s just one more. Let’s get this torture over with.”

Kyungsoo didn’t seem to care for Chanyeol’s attitude, and he narrowed his eyes at him before looking away again in ennui.

The third song sounded drastically different than the first two, but still sounded like a departure from their original sound. It seemed a bit more ethereal and experimental, with none of the urban subtleties to be found.

“That one was just trash,” Kyungsoo said, turning his attention back to Chanyeol and looking him straight in the eyes.

Baekhyun had expected Chanyeol to stand up and walk out right at that moment, but instead he snorted, looking amused instead, and said, “I didn’t write that one. I just added it in to prove to Minseok what I already knew was going to happen here, which was that you weren’t going to listen to these songs and instead you were going to dismiss them all because I helped write them.”

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes at Chanyeol.

“That last song?” Chanyeol continued. “Was written by Yixing and Luhan.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes flew open and he looked at Yixing for confirmation, who nodded the answer.

“We had written it a long time ago,” Yixing informed him.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said to Yixing, “Make sure and let Luhan know that Kyungsoo thinks his song is trash. I’m sure he’d love to hear that from him after all this time.”

“Hey!” Minseok said, putting his hand up toward Chanyeol. “Let’s not do this.”

Baekhyun watched as Jongdae dropped his head into his hands, and he couldn’t blame him. This was a complete disaster.

“Of course,” Chanyeol said rolling his eyes. “Let Kyungsoo be an ass, but the moment I’m an ass, I get yelled at.”

“That’s not…” Minseok stopped and took a deep breath, then said in a calmer tone, “I’m not yelling at you.” And then he looked at Kyungsoo and asked, “Did you really not like any of the songs?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer right away, instead looking off again at the wall, as if it was much more fascinating than this band meeting, and then he looked back at the three men sitting on the couch, and then he glanced over at Baekhyun, who looked nervously away, like he had just been caught eavesdropping on the whole thing.

“I’m obviously not able to be objective about this,” Kyungsoo then said, “What did you think of the songs?”

Baekhyun looked back to see who he had asked the question to, only to find all participants looking directly at him.

“Me?” Baekhyun asked, pointing to himself so they weren’t mistaken by the question.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nodded, “What did you think of the songs?”

“Oh,” Baekhyun shook his head rapidly, “I don’t think I’m qualified to say.”

“This is brilliant,” Chanyeol said snorting again as he crossed his arms. “I’m so glad I wasted my time coming here for this.”

“Baekhyun’s a classically trained pianist,” Kyungsoo then said, and now it was Baekhyun’s turn to shake his head and wave his arms for Kyungsoo to stop.

“Wait, you are?” Yixing asked surprised.

“We don’t talk about that,” Baekhyun stated.

“Oh yeah,” Jongdae said with a big smile. “I remember Sehun mentioning it at that lunch I first met you guys at.”

“I want to hear you play,” Yixing nodded.

“I don’t play anymore,” Baekhyun told him, giving a small glare at Kyungsoo as if either ready to kill him or wondering why he wanted to be strangled.

“Needless to say,” Kyungsoo continued, “I trust his judgement.”

“Déjà vu,” Chanyeol said looking at Baekhyun, “Kyungsoo has a habit of letting people he sleeps with have a say in our band, so I guess I should have expected this when I walked in and saw you were here.”

“Chanyeol…” Minseok warned, and Chanyeol made a frustrated noise.

“So what did you think of the songs?” Yixing asked with expectant eyes.

Baekhyun currently thought nothing of the songs because he was too busy trying to wrap around being called someone Kyungsoo sleeps with. This situation was so far beyond him that he couldn’t believe he was sitting stuck in it.

“First of all, we’re not sleeping together,” he most certainly had to establish that before he could continue. “Second of all, I don’t know anything about the genre of music you guys do. I don’t listen to that kind of music. But, the first two songs are more toward what I like, and I thought they were really good and unique. I really liked the tempo and loved the cadence at the end of the second song. They both had a good flavor to them. If that makes sense? The last song was weird. It felt like an etude to me. I’m not sure if you know what that is…” He watched as they all shook their heads. “It’s, um, a piece you write as like an experiment. Like you write it to improve your technique. That’s what the last song felt like.”

“That’s exactly what the last song was,” Yixing said, looking pleased by the description. “Luhan and I wrote it together a long time ago to try and play with that type of sound. Luhan had started to really get into…”

“Why are we talking about this?” Kyungsoo interjected with a frigid tone. “He said he liked the first two songs, so just go with it.”

“Just go with it?” Chanyeol asked. “Are you actually going to record them when the time comes?”

“He said go with it,” Minseok said standing up. “Meeting’s over. You guys can keep coming up with stuff. It sounds like you’ve found a good direction to go in.”

“We’ll come up with more etudes,” Yixing said with a laugh as he packed up his laptop.

“Now I want to etude,” Jongdae said with a pout, obviously teasing.

“Let’s all etude,” Yixing stated.

Baekhyun did chuckle at them for that, and Chanyeol, who had seemed quite nice when he had met him initially backstage, now seemed brusque and prickly as he walked toward the door. Baekhyun lost his smile at the sight of him, and felt a little pang somewhere in his heart for the former best friend.

Once it was just Kyungsoo and him alone again, Baekhyun realized that he too felt like leaving. He stood up and walked over to where Kyungsoo still sat on the armchair, and he assessed him for a moment, watching him still staring off at nothing, as if not even realizing that everyone had left.

Baekhyun sighed and leaned against the arm of the sofa to face him, crossing his arms, as Kyungsoo did finally turn his attention to him.

“That wasn’t cool,” Baekhyun said. “And I didn’t appreciate being thrown into your issues like that.”

“You didn’t have to stay,” Kyungsoo told him with a raised eyebrow.

“Minseok told me to stay just in case you needed to be calmed down after, but honestly, this is ridiculous. You’re a grown man, and I literally sat here and watched you act like a toddler the whole time. Like, okay, you’re not friends anymore, but that doesn’t mean you have to devolve into whatever this is. Just be a grown up, listen to the songs, and make a decision that you feel is right for the band. This meeting may have seemed like it was about you, but it was really about all of you. Like, that was so selfish of you.”

“Okay, dad,” Kyungsoo said, glaring at him. “Anything else you want to say before I kick you out?”

Baekhyun felt stunned, but he was also stunned at how his own emotions had surfaced on this issue. He realized he needed to reign it back. This wasn’t his situation. He didn’t know these people or all of the facts well enough. He should have left before it all began.

“It’s not my place,” he said, more to himself, and he felt his chest constrict a little, “I’m sorry if I overstepped when I obviously don’t know the whole situation. I’ll just leave.”

Baekhyun stood up straight and turned to head to the door when he felt Kyungsoo’s hand around his wrist.

“You don’t have to leave,” Kyungsoo said, and his voice was more careful now, the bitterness suddenly subdued. “I’m just… upset.”

“I do have to leave,” Baekhyun said, and he pulled his hand away from Kyungsoo’s grip and left without looking back once, sure that he wouldn’t be able to process whatever look would be on Kyungsoo’s face anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

Baekhyun had been at his desk at work, looking over the details of the latest patch that would be deployed, when his phone screen lit up with a new text. He knew without looking that it was from Kyungsoo.

The spoiled rock star had been texting him since yesterday, and Baekhyun had yet to reply to him or indicate that he cared to ever reply. He had spent all day Sunday complaining to his friends that he couldn’t believe he had considered sleeping with such an egotistical man-child. And then he had spent all Sunday night berating himself for not sticking to his initial instincts of keeping away from Kyungsoo altogether.

He picked up his phone to check to see if this new one said anything different.

_I’m sorry for all the drunk texts yesterday._

Baekhyun sighed and put his phone back down.

He looked over at his coffee mug and realized he could use another refill, so he grabbed it just as another text came in.

_But I really meant that I was sorry about Saturday._

He grabbed his phone as well and headed toward the communal kitchen, hoping someone had brewed a fresh pot.

_Shit. I’m just sorry okay? Can we talk about this? You can come over. Or we can meet at your pier. Or wherever._

The coffee pot was empty, so Baekhyun resigned himself to making a new pot, leaning against the counter and reading the texts as the coffee brewed.

_I know I screwed up. But I miss you, and I miss our homemade sandwiches on the pier and I miss eating lunchables with you on the beach. Can we just talk?_

No. What was there to talk about? Nothing would change if they started talking again. Kyungsoo always seemed to get what he wanted. He wanted his escape of hanging out with Baekhyun back, and then he would think everything was fine and return to normal and go back to treating his bandmates with disrespect. Baekhyun didn’t want to be a part of it.

He turned his phone off, poured himself a new cup of coffee, then went back to his desk, putting his phone in his drawer where it wouldn’t distract him from his work.

***

Sehun sat beside Baekhyun on his beach blanket and kept rubbing his back as they sat and watched Jongin and one of his other teammates practice for the surf boat race portion of the competition.

“I’m okay, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun told him for the millionth time, and he popped a chocolate-covered pretzel in his mouth.

“I know,” Sehun said, but he didn’t stop rubbing his back.

“How do I get him to stop texting me?”

“Block his number,” Sehun said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Okay, so it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to do it for some reason.

“I just don’t get why they don’t break up already,” Baekhyun said, “Or at the very least, Chanyeol should leave and go solo. Like why would he stick around and deal with that? It’s obvious Kyungsoo isn’t interested in becoming his friend again.”

“Because he’s hoping that the Kyungsoo he knew still exists and comes back to him at some point.”

Baekhyun looked toward Sehun and felt that guilt all over again that he always felt when he thought about what a horrible friend he had been to him.

“I’ll never understand why you stuck around either,” Baekhyun admitted to him.

“Because I believed in you,” Sehun said with a smile. “And I think that Chanyeol still believes in Kyungsoo. It’s just so sad. You would think that after the relationship didn’t work out, he’d realize Chanyeol may have been right and forgive him.”

“I don’t think Kyungsoo’s pride allows him to admit he’s wrong,” Baekhyun said, and he shook his head. “I still can’t believe I was going to sleep with him.”

“I still can’t believe you hadn’t slept with him already,” Sehun said, shaking his head as well.

They watched as Jongin pulled the boat back in with his partner, discussing some things that involved pointing out toward the water before taking their boat back into the waves.

“I’m gonna go cheer him on from the shore,” Sehun said, abruptly removing his hand from Baekhyun’s back and then clearing his throat as he scrambled up.

Baekhyun looked at him oddly for this weird behavior then realized Sehun kept glancing at someone behind him. Baekhyun looked over his shoulder to see Kyungsoo standing to the side of their blanket.

Sehun gave Baekhyun an encouraging look before heading toward the shore, and Kyungsoo took the initiative to sit on the spot of the blanket that Sehun had vacated.

“I’ve never been more grateful for how easy it is to find you,” Kyungsoo began.

Baekhyun sighed and looked at him, noticing the tentative look in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“Not replying to your texts was a huge signal that I didn’t want you to find me,” Baekhyun smarted.

“I apologized,” Kyungsoo stated, and Baekhyun looked at him to see if he was joking.

“Do you want a cookie for that? What exactly were you even apologizing for? Putting me in an awkward position? Kicking me out of your place? Acting like a spoiled brat?”

“All of it,” Kyungsoo said, as if needing to stop him from listing more examples. “I wasn’t in the best mind frame…”

“You were in a perfectly fine mind frame like a second before you saw Minseok at your door. If I was Chanyeol, I would have quit the band already and left you to write your own songs. If I was Minseok, I would have quit and let someone else babysit you and coddle you. And Yixing and Jongdae don’t deserve this. They’re so nice and just want to make music. If you’re miserable, fine, but making everyone else around you miserable is not cool. And no, you can’t kick me out of the beach for saying things to you that you don’t want to hear, so if you don’t want my honesty of what I observed, then you can leave.”

Baekhyun didn’t know why he had gotten so upset all over again about this. Kyungsoo’s band was not his concern, but it frustrated him so much when he thought about what he had witnessed. He realized his fist had clenched during his tirade and he unclenched it and let out a deep breath to relax.

Kyungsoo’s eyes turned downcast and he looked away for a moment, swallowing, and maybe needing to find his own way to relax as well.

Baekhyun decided to continue. Maybe if he said the wrong thing again, Kyungsoo would just up and leave already.

“I just don’t think we can be friends anymore, Kyungsoo. I mean, Sehun asked Jongdae and Yixing about what happened to make you act the way you did at the restaurant and they told us that you got upset with Chanyeol because he didn’t like your girlfriend. And then seeing how you acted toward what I had to say at your place, it’s like, how could anyone be your friend if the moment they’re honest with you about how they feel about something you’re doing, you kick them out or never speak to them again? That’s not what friendship is.”

Baekhyun sighed, thinking back to high school and the many times he had ignored Sehun’s phone calls or flat out told him to his face that he couldn’t hang out at the beach with him because he was busy practicing. It hurt to remember the disappointed look on Sehun’s face.

“You know, I’ve been through this,” Baekhyun admitted, and Kyungsoo looked back at him, his eyes dark and sad. “When I was obsessively playing piano in my teens, it reached a point where I thought I had lost Sehun as a friend. He would tell me that he thought I should take a step back from playing, and it felt like such a betrayal. Like my own best friend didn’t understand how this was the most important thing in the world to me.”

Baekhyun shook his head at himself, feeling embarrassed all over again about it.

“I almost pushed him away to the point of no return. But Sehun is stubborn, and he stuck it out. And I realized, once I was completely out of the situation and could look back at it from my new perspective, that he was just really worried about me. He understood how important it was to me, but he also saw what it was doing to me. I think, and this is just a theory based on my own experiences, but I think that…”

Baekhyun knew he was about to cross a line, but it had been on his mind since he had witnessed Kyungsoo’s behavior for himself.

“I think that maybe, you know, you always mention your dad not being happy with you and not being able to please him. I think he probably doesn’t care that you’re successful and rich and popular, or even that your dreams came true. It kind of reminds me of how my parents were with me, not caring about my piano playing, but just worrying about me all the time. I think your dad is worried. And I’m willing to bet that your dad isn’t disappointed that you became a musician. I think he’s disappointed that everything he feared that would come with success and popularity came true. I think he just wants you to be happy. And I don’t know how you act in front of him, but you said he’s read the gossip sites and news, so like, he knows you act like this. Which means he knows you’re not happy.”

Baekhyun knew he had said too much, and he waited for Kyungsoo to march off, or yell at him, or turn into a child again, but instead he just sat there, looking at Baekhyun as if not sure what to say.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, now feeling terrible. “Again it’s not my place. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m not interested in being friends anymore.”

Kyungsoo looked at him for a moment, thinking or processing, and then he said, “Because I’m too complicated, and my situation is chaotic, and you like simple.”

Baekhyun nodded, thinking that was a rather easy way to sum it up.

“I do like simple. I used to be complicated in a chaotic situation as well. So I changed, and now I keep things simple. Simple works for me.”

“Simple works for you,” Kyungsoo nodded, “And I’m just a sinner, who’s probably gonna sin again.”

Baekhyun startled, then narrowed his eyes.

“No,” Baekhyun stated, shaking his head, “No. You can’t Kendrick.”

A little smirk had the audacity to play at the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips.

“I can Kendrick,” Kyungsoo stated, a cocky expression spreading on his face.

“No. You can’t,” Baekhyun told him, annoyed that Kyungsoo thought he could flirt his way out of this. Or whatever it was he was doing.

“I spent all day yesterday listening to Kendrick, thinking about you, and wondering why you wouldn’t text me back.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that. No one told you to do that.”

The beach had cleared out considerably as the sun set in the distance, but Baekhyun barely noticed because Kyungsoo began singing the rest of the song that had apparently inspired him so deeply while texting.

“ _I am a sinner, who’s probably gonna sin again.”_

Baekhyun wanted him to shut up, but he also wanted him to keep going because the lyrics sounded beautiful with his soulful voice giving it a vibe that Kendrick himself would have wanted on record.

_“Lord forgive me, Lord forgive me. Things I don’t understand. Sometimes I need to be alone.”_

Baekhyun couldn’t help himself, he went ahead and added the title lyric, _“Bitch, don’t kill my vibe. Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.”_

And then he cracked up and looked out toward the shore to see Sehun talking with Jongin and his teammate.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun said, “You have no idea how many times Sehun and I have sung this song together on car rides.”

Kyungsoo smiled and then continued, and Baekhyun knew what lyrics came next and knew why Kyungsoo had chosen this song from the album to connect with.

_“I can feel your energy from two planets away. I got my drink. I got my music. I would share it, but today I’m yelling.”_

Baekhyun stared at Kyungsoo with a soft smile, then decided to turn the question he had received from him right back around to him.

“So how exactly does a Korean kid from Irvine relate to Kendrick?”

Kyungsoo’s mouth twitched into a half smile and he nodded.

“Funny how that happens,” Kyungsoo said, but then he lost his smile and looked at Baekhyun for another moment before saying, “I want my dad to think I’m happy.”

Baekhyun nodded, then asked, “But are you happy?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, not even needing to say the word. Or maybe he couldn’t say it. There was no way for Baekhyun to be sure, but he felt awful for him just the same and reached out to rub his forearm, as if the comforting gesture would make it all better.

“When did you start not being happy?” Baekhyun asked him, too nosy to leave it alone. “Was it before or after you got bored?”

“It was before,” Kyungsoo said, and he looked over at a seagull pecking at the sand and waddling closer to them in hopes of finding nibbles of food.

“Hm,” Baekhyun said, still watching him as he continued to rub Kyungsoo’s skin with his fingertips. “Did something specifically happen or was it something that just happened over time?”

“It was something specific,” Kyungsoo admitted, and Baekhyun was surprised to hear this, but Kyungsoo went quiet on him and he didn’t feel it was right to dig deeper. It had to have been something really terrible then for it to have had this kind of effect on him.

So Baekhyun stayed quiet and watched Kyungsoo watch the seagull, which decided to change course when he realized that Baekhyun wasn’t going to feed him the chocolate pretzels he had left.

“When our band was first starting out,” Kyungsoo then said, shifting his gaze instead to the water, “I was very happy. I was this person that you haven’t had a chance to meet. I think you would have liked me and wanted to be my friend.” Kyungsoo nodded to himself, as if needing his own validation of the statement, and then he continued.

“Jongdae and Yixing were writing all these songs that we thought were great, but we had no idea they were going to end up being huge or striking a chord with so many people. Chanyeol and I shared an apartment off campus, and Yixing and Jongdae spent more time at our place than their own places. It was exactly as chaotic as you’d think a college dorm would be with four young guys dreaming about the day they’d finally be rock stars.”

Baekhyun noticed that Kyungsoo did have a little smile return to his face, as if reliving the memory in his own mind.

“Yixing had a best friend from back home that would come visit him a lot,” Kyungsoo said, “His name was Luhan, and he’d help out with the songwriting too. His tastes are a little more avant garde, but it worked sometimes with what Jongdae and Yixing came up with. It’s funny because none of the songs he wrote that ended up on the album were chosen as singles, but a lot of them are fan favorites.”

It made sense to Baekhyun after having heard his work at the apartment, and he nodded in understanding, now wanting to actually listen to Exodus’ music to hear it for himself.

“Anyway, Luhan and I got along really well, and we started hanging out with each other, spending nights in Hongdae, just the two of us, eating or drinking until neither of us could walk properly. Then one night, when we got back to my and Chanyeol’s place, he kissed me.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows raised and his fingers automatically stopped rubbing Kyungsoo’s skin. Kyungsoo looked back at Baekhyun, and now Baekhyun felt awkward, so he just pulled his hand away.

“It was the first time I had ever been kissed by a boy,” Kyungsoo said, placing his own hand over the spot on his arm Baekhyun had abandoned. “I wasn’t in denial about finding boys attractive, but it wasn’t anything I had ever thought about or acted upon. I liked girls just fine, so it wasn’t an issue, and I had never met a guy that I was interested in enough like that. But I couldn’t deny in that moment that I was very much interested in Luhan. So I kissed him back.”

Baekhyun’s face must have shown how intrigued and caught up in this story he was now because Kyungsoo did him the favor of continuing it.

“We kept things quiet for a little bit. We were good at sneaking off together and being alone. But Chanyeol’s my best friend and Yixing is Luhan’s, so the two of them started to suspect and brought it up to the other. There was a meeting in the living room, where we all sat on the floor and were confronted about it. They weren’t disapproving. They were just upset that we hadn’t told them. So once we sorted all that out, things got even better.”

Kyungsoo gave a half smile, caught up in another memory that Baekhyun wished he could view as well.

“You asked me before if I had ever had a boyfriend. We never made things official in that way. In Korea, it’s different than here. It’s really looked down upon, so we just kept it casual. At least that’s what we told ourselves, but I guess, if you wanted to be technical about it, he was technically my first boyfriend. And he was the unofficial fifth member of the band. Originally as one of our songwriters, but then later, when we did our first tour, he’d come on the road with us as our roadie. My idea obviously.”

Baekhyun smiled at that.

“But,” Kyungsoo’s eyes turned downcast again. “We started becoming too popular. Popular in a way where people began to talk and notice things.” He looked back up at Baekhyun, shaking his head to himself, “I don’t know why people found me interesting. The band as a whole? Sure. But me in particular. The media came for me pretty early on. Fans were starting rumors about me and Luhan based upon pictures they’d see of us backstage together or even at the airport. It was so stupid. And then one day, Minseok sat me down and told me that if we kept our relationship going, it would kill my career and the band’s. I had to make a decision. Choose my happiness over the band and continue being with him,  or choose the band over the man I had fallen in love with knowing I’d probably lose him forever.”

Baekhyun felt so awful, but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to reach back out and comfort him again, but now it didn’t feel appropriate to do so.

“Obviously,” Kyungsoo continued, though his voice had gotten significantly softer, “I chose the band. And I haven’t been happy since that day.”

Baekhyun had the thought that he’d been unknowingly taking it out on his band since that day as well, and his heart broke for Kyungsoo, knowing how hard it was to realize that what was sacrificed in the pursuit of a dream may not have been worth sacrificing at all.

He wanted to reach out and hug him and let him know everything would be okay, but Baekhyun knew he couldn’t make promises like that to someone whose life was complicated and in constant chaos, so instead he reached out and just grabbed his hand, holding it in his and giving it a small squeeze of support.

“I’m so sorry,” Baekhyun told him. “No one should ever have to make that kind of decision.”

Kyungsoo looked at him, closing his eyes for a moment then opening them.

“My life did used to be simple once,” he said. “I miss that. I don’t think I’d mind trying to make it simple again. Or as simple as I can make it given my circumstances.”

“Well you’re talking to the right guy,” Baekhyun said with a smile as he gave his hand another squeeze. “I happen to be great at simplifying lives. I can help you with this, but it would require you to actually listen to me and not kick me out if you don’t like my advice.”

“So you still want to be my friend then?”

Baekhyun sighed and looked toward the water again, realizing that Sehun and Jongin were probably tired and were stalling coming back to get their things to give Baekhyun and Kyungsoo some space to talk.

“You know, Sehun had no issues giving me a second chance. So I guess I can give you another one too.”

Kyungsoo nodded at him and said, “I appreciate that. I really did miss you.”

“It was like a day,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I thought it was forever,” Kyungsoo stated.

“Well, I can see how… okay, well, anyway,” Baekhyun let go of Kyungsoo’s hand and stood up, motioning that he needed to start packing things up, “Jongin’s Lifeguard Games are coming up this weekend. Sehun told you to invite Jongdae, but I think it would be the perfect band bonding event, so you need to invite your whole band, including Chanyeol. And invite Minseok, of course.”

Baekhyun could see the prickliness rise in Kyungsoo, even as he collected his camera bag and snacks.

“How is that going to make things simple?”

“It’s not going to happen overnight,” Baekhyun explained, “But you need to start being nicer to your bandmates. And it’s a super fun event where everyone will be in good spirits. And you’re going to not act like a five-year-old because you’re going to be spending all your time cheering on Jongin. Right?”

“Uh…” Kyungsoo looked up at him, suddenly resembling the unsure version of that five-year-old.

“It’ll be fine,” Baekhyun assured him, crouching down and facing him, “Whatever you’re scared of, or whatever negative feelings you’re holding onto that are keeping you from letting your life be simple, you’re going to have to learn to let that go. This outing will help. Now help me fold up this blanket.”

Kyungsoo cleared his throat and got up to help him, the action spurring Sehun and Jongin to finally make their way back.

After loading up their respective cars and saying bye to each other, Kyungsoo hovered by Baekhyun’s car, still looking tentative and unsure.

“I’ll send a text to Minseok to text everyone about it,” Kyungsoo said.

“No, it has to come from you. Text them yourself.”

“I haven’t texted Chanyeol in over a year.”

“How complicated. It’s so much simpler if you just text him,” Baekhyun said with a little wag of his finger and smile.

Kyungsoo may have let out a soft snort, Baekhyun couldn’t be entirely sure, but he decided that a hug was very much in order, so he finally gave him one and he hated how much he had missed holding Kyungsoo and feeling his body next to his.

“It’ll be fine,” Baekhyun told him as he pulled away. “I’ll see you guys on Saturday. Remember, you guys have only one job, and that’s to cheer Jongin on to victory.”

“I’ll be sure to add that to the text,” Kyungsoo said, shaking his head at Baekhyun.

“Good,” Baekhyun said, and he waved at him before getting into his car.

When he finally got home, Sehun was on the living room couch waiting for him as he ate some popcorn with Junmyeon.

“We’re ready,” Sehun said with a big smile. “Tell us everything.”

Baekhyun didn’t even know where to start.


	12. Chapter 12

Baekhyun did his best to be interested in whatever TV show Junmyeon had put on as they sat on the couch together eating their dinner, but he kept being interrupted by text messages from Kyungsoo, the latest with a selfie involved.

“Why does he have to be so cute?” Baekhyun whined, and Junmyeon looked over with a smile, ready to be shown the reason for his whining. “He sent me a selfie of him on the pier with a sorry looking sandwich saying that it’s just not the same without me there.”

“Here,” Junmyeon said, moving Baekhyun’s Chinese takeout onto the coffee table and putting his own bowl of a zucchini stir fry he created himself in Baekhyun’s hands instead. “I’ll take the picture,” Junmyeon stated as he then took Baekhyun’s phone from him and then directed, “Hold my food up and pout about it.”

That was easy enough to do. Junmyeon’s food looked really sad next to Baekhyun’s orange chicken and fried rice.

“Okay, now send this to him and tell him that you’d rather be eating a sorry sandwich on the pier with him than sitting here watching me torture myself by eating this.”

“Why are you encouraging this?” Baekhyun whined again, as he handed Junmyeon his sad food back and very much did send Kyungsoo the picture with that message.

“Because. He likes you. You like him. This isn’t rocket science.”

“Right, but remember the whole he’s a spoiled…”

“No one’s perfect, Baek,” Junmyeon told him before he could go any further, “You know, this was part of the problem you and Kris had together.”

“You weren’t around for me and Kris. You know nothing.”

“You told me enough about it for me to know,” Junmyeon stated, which unfortunately was true. At some point in their friendship and cohabitation, Baekhyun had spilled all the details about his one and only real relationship. “And you tried to be perfect for him and expected him to do the same in return, and that led you to being single.”

“What’s wrong with being single? You should try it sometime.”

“I have tried it,” Junmyeon said, digging into his food again, which reminded Baekhyun that he still had half of his yummy take-out to finish. He picked his food back up and started shoveling it into his mouth. “And there’s nothing wrong with it. There are times I prefer it. But when you meet someone that you know you want to be with, then you should be with them. Especially if they’re single and probably need someone in their lives to remind them how amazing simple things can feel again.”

Baekhyun shook his head and swallowed his chicken before saying, “Kyungsoo needs that from someone he can actually be with. Not me. He needs to find a girlfriend that Chanyeol approves of.”

“Why not you?”

“I told you. He chose the band over a relationship with a boy. I don’t have a chance past this summer thing we’re doing.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon said, placing his empty plate on the table. “Then isn’t it worth having this for the summer? Even more because it can only happen in this moment in time? Why deny yourself something special only because it’s temporary? There are no guarantees in life, so live in the moment. He wants simplicity, but you could use a little chaos.”

“Lies. I need no such thing.”

Junmyeon chuckled and settled back to watch TV while Baekhyun ate his food and, as per usual, thought about what Junmyeon had said, even if he was sure it was all nonsensical and ridiculous.

***

On the day of the Lifeguard Games, it was unbearably hot, and Baekhyun regretted stepping out of the house as he took pictures of Jongin doing warmups before his first competition.

“We’re all going to die out here,” Junmyeon mentioned as he applied more suntan lotion to do the work that his hat and long-sleeved T-shirt couldn’t.

“The heat will bring good luck,” Sehun stated with a nod. “It’ll wear out the other competitors, but Jongin’s got the stamina to deal with it.”

“Do I really?” Jongin asked with a laugh as he did more arm stretches, “I’m starting to question my abilities to not melt.”

“Hey!” Jongdae called out with a big smile as he waved at them, carrying a cooler with the help of Chanyeol as Yixing walked behind them holding bags of snacks.

“Yay, you made it!” Sehun said rushing over to give Jongdae a hug and help set the cooler down.

“Chanyeol, this is Sehun,” Jongdae introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Chanyeol said, shaking Sehun’s hand.

“That’s Jongin,” Sehun pointed out to him, “He’s the one we need to cheer on today. And that’s Junmyeon, Baekhyun’s roommate, and you know Baekhyun.”

“Nice to meet everyone,” Chanyeol said with a little head bow, and Baekhyun smiled at him and gave him a little wave.

“Minseok picked up Kyungsoo,” Yixing explained to them as he took their blanket out of a bag, “He’s looking for a parking spot.”

“Yeah, it’s always hard to find parking at this beach,” Sehun nodded.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to this beach,” Chanyeol mentioned as he sat down on the blanket and tucked his very long legs under each other.

Baekhyun wasn’t surprised. There wasn’t anything particularly special about Manhattan Beach, which is where the Games were being held this year.

“It has a nice pier,” Baekhyun pointed out, “And some good restaurants.”

“And a stellar view of the Chevron oil refinery in El Segundo,” Junmyeon said, swooping his arm out to the north of them where the refinery could be seen clearly.

“Why are all the beaches in California next to scary things?” Yixing asked, looking at the refinery with suspicious eyes, and they all chuckled at him as Baekhyun noticed Minseok and Kyungsoo heading toward them.

Kyungsoo looked… well, “cool” was the only word Baekhyun could think of at the moment. In his white T-shirt, loose navy blue board shorts, sunglasses, and baseball cap; he looked way too cool considering the hot weather attacking them.

“We made it. We’re hot,” Minseok said, and Kyungsoo didn’t say hi to his bandmates as he took a seat on the other side of the blankets from Chanyeol, as far away as possible as he sat beside Baekhyun.

“It’s too hot,” Yixing agreed, fanning himself. “I don’t think we brought enough ice and drinks.”

Jongin finished his warmups and they all wished him luck, Sehun giving him a big hug and a smack on the butt before sending him off to join his teammates.

“What drinks did you bring?” Sehun asked, being nosy as he opened their cooler. “We have soju if you want some.”

“You brought soju?” Jongdae said, surprised and excited. “Share!”

“Junmyeon also made iced honey and lemon tea,” Baekhyun stated, “And unlike his other culinary decisions, his tea is really good and refreshing.”

“Oh, I want to try,” Yixing said, reaching for a plastic cup.

“I put mint in it as well, so it tastes even more refreshing,” Junmyeon said proudly as he filled up Yixing’s cup.

Baekhyun nodded in agreement, holding out a cup as well to be filled as he said, “This is his second batch. I drank the whole first batch he made.”

“I helped,” Sehun said with a smile adding his cup to the collection.

With his full cup in hand, Baekhyun settled into his spot next to Kyungsoo, who was once again staring at the ocean without interacting.

“Here, try it,” Baekhyun told him, and he raised the cup to Kyungsoo’s lips. The quiet spectator took a sip.

“It’s really good,” he said.

“We can share this one,” Baekhyun told him with a smile, and he felt relieved when Kyungsoo gave him a small smile back.

The Lifeguard Games started on time, and soon they were yelling out encouraging cheers to Jongin, watching as he ran at a quick speed against his competitors before diving into the ocean to swim.

“I don’t know what I’m watching,” Yixing said as he laughed.

“This is crazy,” Jongdae agreed with his own loud laugh.

He repeated the sentiment again when it was time for the rescue board race, and Jongin joined a line of other lifeguards, running into the water and going out to sea on their boards.

“This is crazy!” Jongdae said again, standing up to watch better.

“He’s in the lead. I think,” Chanyeol said standing up as well, and Baekhyun did the same to get a better vantage point.

“You got this, Jongin!” Sehun shouted out, jumping up and down.

Even Kyungsoo stood up once Jongin had turned from the cone first to head back in. They all stood cheering, or in Kyungsoo’s case, watching very intently, as Jongin paddled fast with his arms, another competitor right in line with him as they came down to the finish.

“Pull ahead already!” Jongdae yelled out at him.

“Come on!” Sehun said jumping even higher.

Jongin did pull ahead, and as Jongin crossed the finish line, all the boys cheered loudly, jumping up and down together and hugging as if they had been the one to win.

“Let’s do soju shots to celebrate,” Minseok suggested.

Sehun did the honors of pouring them all their shots.

“There’s a bit of a break before his next event,” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo. “Want to check out the pier?”

Kyungsoo nodded and got up with him, Baekhyun letting them know they’d be right back.

“I figured you might want to get out of this heat,” Baekhyun explained to him as they strolled toward the entrance of the pier. “You see that round building at the end of the pier? It’s a tiny little aquarium. It’s nothing special, but at least it’s not in the sun.”

“Sounds perfect,” Kyungsoo nodded, and he even gave him a soft smile, which Baekhyun hadn’t expected.

When they got up on the pier, Kyungsoo cleared his throat, and then said, “I know you probably think I’m being too quiet since this is a bonding event, but I really don’t have much to say.”

“No,” Baekhyun looked at him surprised and shook his head, “I don’t think that at all. You’re just being you. And honestly, I thought you wouldn’t even show up, but you did, and that made me so happy.” Baekhyun gave him a big cheesy smile to prove his point, and Kyungsoo blinked at him a few times then nodded and kept walking.

They entered the small room that made up the aquarium that housed just a few fish tanks and some shallow pools where the bottom dwellers lived.

Baekhyun had always thought the makeshift aquarium was a little lame, and he knew that it functioned mostly as a learning center for kids, but, much to Baekhyun’s surprise, Kyungsoo seemed very intrigued as he leaned over to stare deep into one of the fish tanks.

He watched him, having to take his camera out to get a shot of him as Kyungsoo cocked his head as if investigating the fish that came closer to the glass. He then leaned down a little more to get a look at a fish that swam further in the back.

“I didn’t know you were so into aquariums,” Baekhyun had to mention after some time of watching this behavior.

Kyungsoo chuckled a little and scratched the back of his neck as he stood up straight again, taking in the eel that had just slithered across.

“It’s so interesting,” Kyungsoo explained. “I’m surprised you’re not in here trying to get pictures of them all.”

“Sea life doesn’t fascinate me as much as the actual water does,” Baekhyun explained.

“I think they’re fun to watch,” Kyungsoo said, walking to one of the shallow pools to look at a couple of small sting rays swimming around in a circle. “I always wanted an aquarium. Someday, when I buy my own place, I’ll get one.”

“Why don’t you have your own place already?” Baekhyun asked as he took some shots of the sting rays. “Do you rent a place in Seoul too?”

“I do. Or, I did. Chanyeol and I used to live together. After our disagreement, I moved out and into my girlfriend’s place. After we broke up, I moved in with Minseok. I don’t know why I haven’t bought my own place yet. Either there or here. I guess I never felt ready for it.”

“It’s not chaotic enough for you,” Baekhyun reasoned. “Buying your own place would probably feel like settling down.”

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo said, and he looked back down at the sting rays, smiling as they seemed to chase each other around the tank.

It felt nice to be out of the sun, but Baekhyun knew they had to get back soon, so he motioned for Kyungsoo to follow him back out, then pointed to the shark statue outside the front.

“Let me take a picture of you with the shark,” Baekhyun told him.

Kyungsoo stood by the shark and put up a peace sign, and then switched positions to pretend he was hugging the shark. Baekhyun committed both poses to his camera and to his memory.

“I want to take one of you,” Kyungsoo said, pulling his phone out, and Baekhyun did his own cheesy poses with the shark.

Kyungsoo showed him the pictures, then put his phone back in his board shorts pocket and took Baekhyun’s hand to walk, which startled Baekhyun who had not been expecting it.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said letting go. “Right.”

“No, it’s okay,” Baekhyun said, not just wanting to hold Kyungsoo’s hand again, but feeling he needed to, “It’s not the same walking down the pier with you without holding hands anymore.”

“I miss doing that. And kissing you.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun said, looking at him for a moment, the intense heat of the sun forgotten for a moment as he got lost in Kyungsoo’s general being. He was certainly there, in the present, standing in front of him. And something about living in the moment sprung to his mind, as did other phrases that Junmyeon had thrown at him.

He took the chance and leaned in to kiss him, softly, lips a tiny bit chapped from the heat and dehydration. Kyungsoo’s however were perfect, soft and sweetened by the honey tea he had drank.

“So we’re back to doing that then?” Kyungsoo asked, looking as if he needed to make sure as he squeezed Baekhyun’s hand lightly.

“Only if you keep trying to simplify your life.”

Kyungsoo looked at him for a moment, perhaps considering if kissing him was worth the conditional, but then he nodded and leaned in for another kiss that Baekhyun returned, and then another, and then one more before heading back to join the rest of the group on the blankets.

***

“When your boat capsized, I thought I was going to have a heart attack,” Jongdae let Jongin know as they sat in a corner of the sports bar across from the beach, thankfully out of the sun and right next to the fan and air conditioning.

Jongin had come out victorious in the board rescue portion of the event, but that had been his only win, though he had managed to come in at a very respectable fourth place in the run-swim-run event, which he hoped would also impress his boss.

“We had it too,” Jongin said, his frustration evident through his smile. “That wave came out of nowhere.”

“How are you not scared doing that stuff?” Yixing asked him.

They had ordered a round of beers in an attempt to cool off, most of them ordering appetizers and burgers as an afterthought, insisting it was too hot to eat anything.

Jongin, who was starving after all his physical exertion, had ordered a burger and wings, and was currently dipping a wing into barbecue sauce when he laughed at Yixing.

“I’m a really good swimmer,” Jongin told him.

“Yeah, but still,” Yixing said, shaking his head and then looking at Junmyeon. “Is that all you ordered? Is that going to be enough food?”

“Why are you always obsessed with his food?” Jongdae asked him with a loud laugh.

“He’s a vegan,” Yixing pointed out to Chanyeol.

“Why?” Chanyeol asked, looking at Junmyeon with a disturbed expression as he waited for an explanation.

“Lots of reasons,” Junmyeon said with a smile. “I don’t believe in unnecessary violence against people or animals, plus it’s more sustainable to eat plants than meat and therefore better for the environment.”

“Also,” Yixing said to Chanyeol, “He used to get sick a lot as a kid so his parents experimented with his diet and it seemed to work out better for him when they cut out meat.”

“He told us all about it the last time we had dinner together,” Jongdae explained when Chanyeol looked at Yixing oddly for knowing that about Junmyeon.

“My parents introduced me to vegetarianism,” Junmyeon nodded, “As I got older, I chose to go vegan based on the overall environmental factors.”

“It never fails,” Sehun said, “Even when you know a vegan and know that they’re a nice person, they still sound pretentious when talking about being vegan.”

“He asked!” Junmyeon said, putting his hands up in defense.

“I did ask,” Chanyeol said with an apologetic smile.

“You should know better than to ever ask a vegan why they’re vegan,” Jongin said with a loud laugh.

“But is that salad really going to be filling for you?” Yixing asked, returning to the matter at hand.

“It is pretty hard to find vegan options at a sports bar,” Baekhyun mused. “Wait, let’s order you some pretzel sticks.”

“Oh, the pretzel sticks here are really good,” Sehun agreed. “They’re warm and soft and you can dip it in honey mustard or cheese sauce. Since he’s vegan, the cheese sauce is ours.”

“Yes! Cheese sauce!” Jongin said before taking a big, ravenous bite of his burger.

Baekhyun put the order in for Junmyeon and looked over at Kyungsoo who had quietly been eating his burger. He casually bumped Kyungsoo’s shoulder with his, smiling at him while eating a fry.

“You’re so quiet,” Baekhyun explained. “I felt I had to bug you.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo nodded, “This burger is really good.”

“It is. You holding up okay?”

“Yeah, just… eating.”

Baekhyun nodded, not sure why he had been expecting at least some interaction between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to happen by now, but maybe it was for the best that they slowly eased into hanging out again like this.

“So, Chanyeol,” Sehun said, “I heard you wrote some awesome new songs for the next album.”

Or maybe Sehun had decided that easing into things wasn’t the best way for them to handle this situation. Baekhyun’s eyes cut toward Kyungsoo immediately, who seemed to tense a little as he kept looking down at his plate and eating his burger.

“They were okay. I’m glad most people liked them though,” Chanyeol replied diplomatically.

“They were really good,” Baekhyun confirmed.

“We’ve written a few more,” Yixing said with a smile. “Maybe you can give us your opinion on them next time.”

“Seriously?” Sehun said, surprised by the offer and excited by the prospect.

“Of course. It’s good to get people’s opinions,” Yixing nodded.

“I’d be honored. I would give you my honest opinion even though I already know I’m going to love it.”

“That’s not how it works?” Junmyeon said, giving him an odd look.

“Shut up and eat your bunny food,” Sehun told him, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

Even Kyungsoo gave a little smirk, which Baekhyun caught, and then Baekhyun’s heart soared as he noticed that Chanyeol had caught it too and looked a little surprised by it, though he said nothing.

The pretzel sticks arrived, along with another round of beers, and Yixing insisted that everyone not attack the pretzel sticks until Junmyeon had eaten all that he wanted first.

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon said amused, “I’m not going to starve. I promise. Have at ‘em.”

Sehun and Jongin dug in, taking the cheese sauce with them.

Baekhyun grabbed a pretzel stick and broke it in half, handing the other piece to Kyungsoo.

“We can share one,” Baekhyun explained when Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow at him. “So that Joons doesn’t starve.” He had tried to say it with a straight face, but ended up giggling, and Kyungsoo smiled and covered his mouth with his hand to hide the little chuckle that escaped.

“You’re ridiculous,” Kyungsoo told him, shaking his head and taking the other half.

“You love it,” Baekhyun teased, and then he reached over to steal the cheese sauce from Sehun and Jongin so he and Kyungsoo could use it before they ate it all. When he set it down and looked at him to tell him to dip, he saw that Kyungsoo was staring at him. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo said, shaking his head to himself and clearing his throat. “I just do. I mean, yes, I do love it.”

Baekhyun was taken off guard by how bashful he suddenly seemed, and it made Baekhyun blush a little, so he gave a small laugh and dipped his pretzel stick before holding the ramakin up for Kyungsoo to do the same. He then handed the cheese sauce back to the greedy children at the end of the table.

It was decided once their beer glasses were empty and their plates were clean that a walk on the pier to watch the sunset would be a good idea before they all headed back home.

Baekhyun thought it might be a bit awkward to hold Kyungsoo’s hand as they strolled, never having shown any of their affectionate moments in front of their friends, and Kyungsoo seemed to have the same idea, keeping his hands in the pockets of his shorts as he walked.

“The aquarium is still open if you guys want to take a look,” Baekhyun let them know, and since the others hadn’t been part of the earlier excursion into the round building, they all excitedly went in, leaving Baekhyun and Kyungsoo outside by themselves. “My evil plan to get you alone worked,” Baekhyun teased, as he snuck a quick kiss from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo looked surprised, then laughed after the kiss, taking his hand out of his pocket finally to pull Baekhyun closer by the waist. He really loved when he did that, and Baekhyun’s hand went up to Kyungsoo’s chest, lightly grasping the thin fabric of his T-shirt.

“You’re sneaky,” Kyungsoo told him, leaning in to give him another kiss, which Baekhyun hungrily returned.

“I’m smart,” Baekhyun retorted when their lips broke apart.

“You’re devious.”

“I’m pragmatic.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and lifted his other hand to push some of Baekhyun’s hair back off his face, the wind causing it to fall in front of his eyes where he needed it to not be right now so he could stare at Kyungsoo fully.

“You’re cute,” Kyungsoo stated as he looked at him.

“I’m handsome.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun said, letting go of his T-shirt to tease him with a punch to his chest. “I’m wise.”

Kyungsoo laughed and wrapped his other arm around him, holding Baekhyun close to him, which Baekhyun needed to not ever end. It felt so good to be held by him, and Baekhyun gave him another kiss, this one slow and purposeful, as if demanding that he keep holding him and kissing him forever.

But forever would have to wait, as they heard Minseok’s voice talking about not missing the sunset. Baekhyun pulled away and pretended to be looking out at the ocean while Kyungsoo slid his hands back into his pockets and leaned casually against the railing.

“Jongin is going to sleep for days,” Sehun said as he came out of the aquarium massaging a very exhausted Jongin’s shoulders.

“This is why I made sure to take tomorrow off,” Jongin nodded.

“Soo, did you see this place?” Jongdae asked, practically skipping out of it. “You would love it.”

“I saw it earlier,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“I showed it to him on our walk during the break,” Baekhyun explained. “I had no idea he would be fascinated by it.”

“I’ve lost count of how many times Kyungsoo has disappeared to the COEX Aquarium back home,” Jongdae said with a laugh.

“It’s his secret hideaway,” Yixing agreed, “He thinks no one will go looking for him there.”

“No one has found me there yet,” Kyungsoo stated, crossing his arms, but apparently relaxed enough to have spoken.

“And let’s hope it stays that way,” Minseok said, taking out his phone to take a picture of the setting sun.

Baekhyun took out his own camera from his photo bag and started taking shots, moving toward the corner of the pier to get angles without having to compete with the other photo takers. He played with his ISO settings a bit to try and capture some of the haze coming off this particular sunset, no doubt a side effect of the crazy heat of the day.

He sensed a presence beside him and figured it was Kyungsoo, so he smiled as he took one last picture and said, “Are you going to make fun of my obsessive sunset pics…” before trailing off to see that a tall figure stood beside him instead. “Oh, hey. I thought you were Kyungsoo.”

“I’m a little taller than him,” Chanyeol said with a small smile, and then he took a quick look over his shoulder to see if Kyungsoo saw them, much as he had done the first night they had met.

“Just a little,” Baekhyun joked, glancing as well to see that Kyungsoo was busy trying to take pictures on his phone at the moment.

“I just wanted to say that I know you’re behind this outing, or whatever this is, and to thank you for it. It’s nice pretending we’re all friends again like this.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, scratching the back of his neck a little sheepishly. “You don’t have to thank me. It just seemed like a good idea after that super awkward band meeting.”

“Yeah, they’ve been that way for a while,” Chanyeol admitted. “It’s interesting seeing how Kyungsoo has been acting around you all day. You get him to smile and everything. I seriously thought that part of him was gone.”

“Well, I’m still waiting to meet the Kyungsoo that you used to know, but yeah, we make each other smile actually,” Baekhyun said, and he may have blushed.

“Are you guys really not hooking up?” Chanyeol asked, raising his eyebrow.

“We’re not,” Baekhyun shook his head, knowing that his blushing must have been rivaling the sun’s hue at that moment. “I mean, we kiss and hold hands, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten.”

“Shocking,” Chanyeol said, looking over his shoulder again, and Baekhyun did notice then that Kyungsoo had looked away quickly.

Baekhyun’s stomach sunk realizing that Chanyeol had caught it too and would probably be walking away from him soon, so he quickly asked, “Why is it shocking?”

“Kyungsoo always gets what he wants,” Chanyeol shrugged. “It’s just weird that he hasn’t gotten that from you yet.”

“Well, that’s not always true,” Baekhyun pointed out, not thinking before he said, “He told me about Luhan and how he didn’t get to keep him, so he doesn’t always get what he wants.”

Chanyeol looked a little startled to hear this from him and then looked down, and Baekhyun wanted to mentally kick himself for being too candid.

“Sorry, did I cross a line?” Baekhyun said instead. He figured it was common knowledge and didn’t see why it should be an issue to bring it up to him.

“No,” Chanyeol said, looking back up and studying him for a moment. “I guess you’re partially right.”

“Just partially?”

“He got half of what he wanted. Just not the whole thing,” Chanyeol explained. “He wanted Luhan and the band. He got the band. It’s what he chose. So it’s partially what he wanted, right?”

“I suppose you can look at it that way,” Baekhyun said, biting his lip in thought. “But in that respect, he wanted both things, so technically, by only getting one of the things, he didn’t get what he wanted. So I still win.” Baekhyun said, giving him a goofy smile to lighten the conversation some.

Chanyeol did smile at him and said, “I suppose you do,” before looking over his shoulder, as once again, Kyungsoo didn’t look away fast enough. “I should leave you alone now before Kyungsoo throws a tantrum or something about me talking to you. Maybe we’ll get a chance to talk again.”

“We will,” Baekhyun said with an affirmative nod.

He watched Chanyeol walk away, and when he got close to where he’d have to walk behind Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo turned to look at Chanyeol, giving him a suspicious glance that Chanyeol thankfully ignored. Then Kyungsoo looked back at Baekhyun.

The thought crossed his mind that he should look away, but instead he motioned for Kyungsoo to join him, which he did.

“What was that about?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Me being brilliant,” Baekhyun said, reaching his hand out to grab Kyungsoo’s arm and rub it in a comforting gesture to hopefully calm him some. “Chanyeol was thanking me for a nice outing, and he was also thanking me for making you smile. He said he couldn’t believe that part of you still existed.”

“He did not say that,” Kyungsoo said, his defenses quickly building up around him.

“He did. He still really cares about you, you know? Or maybe you don’t know, but you should really talk to him again and work things out. Unless you really do plan on just hating him for the rest of your life for trying to look out for you.”

“He wasn’t trying to look out for me,” Kyungsoo said, a small pout playing on his bottom lip as the five-year-old tantrum thrower started rearing his head again. “He just didn’t like her.”

“Why didn’t he like her? There had to be a reason.”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said dismissively.

“So it had nothing to do with what Sehun found out online about her? Were all those fans making things up? She wasn’t manipulative? She wasn’t a diva? She wasn’t rude to fans? Was she just a really nice person that made you happy and no one got that memo? Or was she really the girl that made you look more sad and made you grow more distant from those around you?”

Kyungsoo stayed quiet for a moment, and Baekhyun let him work out his thoughts on his own, turning his lens back to the sunset that now dipped into the horizon. He got an array of good shots before Kyungsoo finally spoke again.

“She had her issues, and I had mine, and at the time we understood each other, and that was something that Chanyeol couldn’t understand.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun said, looking back at him to see him looking down in thought. “So maybe he was feeling left out of something important in your life and he wasn’t used to that. He was a part of you and Luhan’s relationship, but he wasn’t a part of this one and didn’t seem to have a place in it. I could see how that may have made him unsupportive. He probably wondered why you wouldn’t let him in. And it probably raised red flags for him.”

Kyungsoo said nothing and instead walked away from Baekhyun, sitting on a bench that faced more toward the shore. Baekhyun didn’t think he was meant to follow him, but he did anyway, sitting beside him and putting his camera away back in his bag.

“I didn’t mean to kill the mood,” Baekhyun said after his camera and lens were back in place. “So I’ll try and liven it up again. I was thinking of heading back up to Malibu next weekend. Not to go to the beach I took you to, but to go to the pier. It’s weird, but I was looking back through the pictures I’ve been taking this summer, and I have more pier pics than usual. It’s your fault, but it made me want to go and take more pier pics. Like, I want to take pics of all the piers in the area. Well, starting from Malibu down I guess.”

Kyungsoo did finally look at him, and his eyes looked dark and a tiny bit suspicious.

“So,” Kyungsoo said, taking a slight pause, then saying, “Instead of obsessively taking pictures of water and rocks, you want to take pictures of piers? And it’s my fault how?”

“I never found piers fascinating until I started kissing you on them, and under them,” Baekhyun said, and he put his teeth on full display as he gave the widest smile he could give.

Kyungsoo’s lips twitched, and then he couldn’t stop himself from giving a half smile.

“You’re crazy,” Kyungsoo told him.

“A little, yeah. But aren’t we all?”

“Yeah. I guess we are,” Kyungsoo said with a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his thighs in a repeated motion. “Okay, Malibu it is. So I have to wait until next weekend to see you again?”

“Well, I can’t go to Malibu on days I’m working, so yeah.”

“Are you busy tomorrow night?”

Baekhyun hesitated before pointing back toward where Sehun sat on a bench talking with Chanyeol.

“Just watching over this one per usual.”

“How about you take a break from that and come to my place instead?” Kyungsoo asked, and Baekhyun blinked at him, which made Kyungsoo blink back then add, “Instead of bringing a picnic and stuff, I can treat you by making dinner for you, at my place. You don’t have to bring anything. Just yourself.”

“You’re going to make me dinner?” Baekhyun must have looked flabbergasted because he surely felt that way.

“If you’ll let me.”

“How am I supposed to say no to that? I want to watch you cook. Are you good at it?”

“You can be the judge of that tomorrow night.”

“I can’t wait. What time should I come by?”

“6? 7?”

“5?”

Kyungsoo chuckled, which was totally what Baekhyun had been going for, and then he replied, “5 works.”

Baekhyun wanted to give him another kiss right then, but instead he took his hand into his and held it, as they stared at the darkening shore as the sun set behind them.


	13. Chapter 13

Baekhyun wanted Kyungsoo. Baekhyun wanted Kyungsoo to know that he wanted him, so he sucked on his bottom lip and tugged at it before pressing his hips against him more, having backed him up against his kitchen counter.

“How am I supposed to cook if you keep kissing me?” Kyungsoo mused, holding a bamboo spatula in one hand as his other hand rested on Baekhyun’s lower back.

“You’re the expert. Figure it out,” Baekhyun said, kissing him again, then trying not to laugh into the kiss as Kyungsoo started walking them back toward the stove, their lips not once breaking apart.

Baekhyun did finally let him get back to cooking, leaning his hip against the counter as he watched Kyungsoo stir the rice around in the wok like an expert.

“Wait, you really know how to cook?” It finally dawned on Baekhyun, as he watched how comfortable Kyungsoo was in a kitchen that wasn’t even really his.

“My mom wouldn’t let me move to Seoul for college until I knew how to cook for myself,” Kyungsoo explained as he added more soy sauce to the mixture. “She’s a great cook, so I try and make her proud every time I make food.”

“This is amazing,” Baekhyun said. “My mom’s a great cook too, but she didn’t teach me anything. Probably because she knew I’d never go too far from home.”

“What’s your favorite dish that your mom makes you?” Kyungsoo asked, tasting the rice, and finding it satisfactory enough that he shifted his focus to the batter he had prepared ahead of the rice.

“Everything,” Baekhyun said with a laugh as he watched Kyungsoo scoop batter onto a frying pan. “I will seriously eat anything. I’m not picky.”

“That’s true. You do eat Lunchables.”

“I’m sorry, did someone invite Junmyeon over to dinner?” Baekhyun asked, pretending to look around, and Kyungsoo snorted and gave him a smirk.

“Is this your favorite dish your mom made you?” Baekhyun then asked, his stomach anticipating the food thanks to the amazing smells coming from the seafood pancakes as they fried up.

“Two of them, yeah. I have a lot of favorite dishes from her.”

“Did she only ever cook you Korean food?”

“No, well, mostly yes, but she learned how to make American food and would experiment with it to see if it came out right. She knew I’d know.”

“My mom did the same thing,” Baekhyun said, excited by this for some reason. Maybe it was nice to know that he and Kyungsoo had something from their youths in common. “She’d always ask me if it tasted right or if my friends would eat it, and I’d be like, ‘All my friends are Korean, mom.’ Like my school was 85% Korean kids.”

“So was mine,” Kyungsoo said with a chuckle. He turned over the seafood pancakes in the pan then asked, “So all your friends in school were Korean. How about in college? Is your ex Korean?”

Baekhyun smiled a little, loving that Kyungsoo had taken a moment to figure out how to segue into that question.

“No, he’s Chinese-Canadian.”

“Oh, so you branched out,” Kyungsoo teased. “Luhan’s Chinese.”

“Sehun’s ex, Tao, is Chinese-American. We all fell for Chinese boys.”

Kyungsoo shook his head amused, “There’s something about Chinese boys I guess. What was your ex’s name?”

“Kris,” Baekhyun replied, “What about your girlfriends? Were they all Chinese too?”

“Korean,” Kyungsoo said as he replaced the pancakes in the pan with new ones. “Food’s almost ready.”

Baekhyun volunteered to grab the plates and silverware, remembering where everything was from the last time he had explored Kyungsoo’s kitchen.  He set the table and popped open the bottle of wine he had brought, even though Kyungsoo had told him not to bring anything, but Baekhyun would have felt weird showing up without at least something.

Once they were seated at the dining table, Baekhyun took a picture of his kimchi fried rice and seafood pancakes, commenting, “This looks and smells amazing.”

“I hope you like it,” Kyungsoo agreed, raising his glass of wine in a toast. “To hoping you don’t die from eating my food.”

“To hoping you keep cooking for me after I don’t die from eating your food,” Baekhyun said, and they tapped their glasses then took a sip and dug in.

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun stated after one forkful of rice. “Oh my God,” he stated again after a bite of a seafood pancake.

“So you like it?” Kyungsoo said, a little bashful with a small hopeful raise of his eyebrow.

“You know I like it,” Baekhyun said, shoveling more food in his mouth, “You know you’re a good cook. I can’t believe you have this secret talent you’ve been hiding from me.”

“To be fair,” Kyungsoo said in between bites of his own seafood pancake, “These are my two specialties. Everything I make after this for you probably won’t be as good.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Baekhyun said, already thinking about seconds and thirds. “My specialty is heating up frozen pizza rolls in the microwave.”

“Alright, you owe me frozen pizza rolls from the microwave when it’s your turn to cook.”

“And then I’ll be charged with murder,” Baekhyun lamented playfully.

Once they were done with dinner, they headed to the couch to finish off the bottle of wine, Baekhyun considering Kyungsoo for a moment as he watched him finish up his glass.

“I have a feeling about you,” Baekhyun stated.

“Oh?” Kyungsoo asked, placing his glass down on the coffee table and looking at him. “What kind of feeling?”

“I have a feeling that you’re also the type of person who’s good at everything he does.”

Kyungsoo chuckled a little, almost giddy, perhaps relaxed from the wine, “And what gives you that idea?”

“Well, I’ve seen you on stage, and you’re good at performing and singing, and then when I take pictures of you, you’re like an effortless model, and now I find out you’re a crazy good cook. I just have a feeling.”

“Those are the only things I’m good at,” Kyungsoo said with a small laugh.

“No, you’re also a really good kisser,” Baekhyun pointed out, and he swigged the rest of his wine and put his empty glass down as well, grateful for it once he realized his nerves were starting to rattle a bit in anticipation. “And I suspect that’s not all you’re good at when it comes to that sort of thing.”

He was ready. He knew he was. Sure a part of him was still put off a bit by Kyungsoo’s petulance when it came to matters he didn’t want to deal with, but the rest of him was too attracted and drawn to him to deny what his body had been craving for too long.

“That sort of thing?” Kyungsoo asked, and Baekhyun’s stomach flipped, knowing that he would embarrass himself further if he tried to explain.

So instead he leaned forward to kiss Kyungsoo’s wine-flavored lips, and he gripped the fabric of Kyungsoo’s shirt as the kiss was returned, Kyungsoo’s full lips taking Baekhyun’s into his own, searching for his tongue with his as the kiss intensified.

“You know,” Baekhyun said, as their noses touched while they caught their breaths, “You’ve never shown me your bedroom.”

“I’ve never shown you my bathroom either,” Kyungsoo teased, and Baekhyun made a small surprised sound.

“Oh, you’ve got jokes.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and gave Baekhyun another hungry kiss before getting up and taking Baekhyun’s hand to help him up then lead him to his bedroom, which like the rest of the condo had a generic feel to it, looking straight out of an IKEA catalog only with better quality furniture.

“I can’t wait for you to get your own place someday,” Baekhyun observed as Kyungsoo stopped right beside the bed and let Baekhyun’s hand go so he could slide it back over his hip and to his lower back. “Just so I can see how you’d decorate everything.”

“I’d probably just hire someone to do it,” Kyungsoo snorted, “When I shared a place with Chanyeol, it was a fully furnished place. Both times. In college and then after.”

“What about your bedroom that you grew up in?”

“My mom likes to decorate so she made it look nice,” he said. “It was really minimalistic. I don’t like a lot of clutter.”

“I’m never inviting you to my place,” Baekhyun stated.

“I want to see your place,” Kyungsoo said, leaning in to tease his lips with his own.

Baekhyun smiled into it, but Kyungsoo had other plans, moving his lips across Baekhyun’s jaw and to his neck, knowing exactly where to attack to get what he wanted.

And Baekhyun wanted it too, his body reacting to everything Kyungsoo’s lips and tongue did. He took the initiative to make his desires loud and clear as he tugged the hem of Kyungsoo’s T-shirt and lifted it up, wanting it off the man driving his neck crazy.

Kyungsoo pulled away to take his shirt off, and Baekhyun took his own off as well, then reached out to touch Kyungsoo’s skin, letting his fingers poke at each mole he found.

“I thought I had a lot of moles,” Baekhyun observed with a fond smile, before he poked the one right by his belly button. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

Kyungsoo took Baekhyun’s left hand and kissed his thumb, right where he had the mole that had always annoyed Baekhyun the most, “This one’s my favorite.”

Okay, so maybe it no longer annoyed him.

“I used to hate that mole,” Baekhyun confessed to him. “I always had thoughts that when I became a concert pianist, they would zoom in on my fingers with the cameras and all people would see was this massive mole on my thumb, and it would distract them from the performance.”

“I’ve never heard you play, but I doubt anything would distract people from your performance. Especially not a cute mole that gives your hand character.”

Baekhyun smiled at the reassurance and kissed him for it, using the opportunity to get even closer to him so he could feel him against his own chest. Kyungsoo took control of the situation, holding him close and pressing his hips against his, running his hands down Baekhyun’s lower back and over his ass, which made Baekhyun moan into Kyungsoo’s mouth.

He decided it was only fair that he did the same back to Kyungsoo, who laughed into their kiss and moved them so that Baekhyun had no choice but to lay back on Kyungsoo’s bed. Kyungsoo must have decided he had no choice but to climb over Baekhyun and smother him in more kisses considering he was now hovering over Baekhyun, very much like a predator who had caught his prey.

Baekhyun knew then that he needed this so bad. He hadn’t been with anyone since Kris, and that had been so many years ago now. Sehun and Junmyeon had both tried to set Baekhyun up on dates with other people in the years that had passed, but they never tended to go further than a goodnight kiss.

He wasn’t quite sure why it was so hard for him to hook up with people, especially since right now it felt like the easiest thing in the world with the way Kyungsoo had found his neck again and was using his hips to push down on Baekhyun’s in a grinding motion.

It had been too long, and his body was five steps ahead of him as he strained against his jeans. Kyungsoo, who seemed rather adept at sensing this, reached down to unbutton Baekhyun’s pants, and in his desire, Baekhyun couldn’t stop the groans that came from his throat as it happened.

“Sorry, it’s been a long time for me,” Baekhyun felt the need to explain, as his hands grasped toward the front of Kyungsoo’s jeans as well, attempting to use his fingertips to find the button, but Kyungsoo pushed himself up to unbutton them himself. Baekhyun watched him and moaned as if he was watching a sensual movie made just for him.

Kyungsoo’s pants came off, as did Baekhyun’s, and they returned to holding and kissing each other, Kyungsoo’s hand sliding down Baekhyun’s tummy and under the fabric of his boxer briefs, which sent his head into a frenzy as he hissed. He arched his back in pleasure, rewarded with Kyungsoo’s hand gripping him, and Baekhyun knew this wasn’t going to last long.

“Oh God,” he said, already feeling breathless as his heart raced and little pricks of sensation covered his body.

“When I first met you,” Kyungsoo said as he moved his hand at a steady pace, freeing him from his underwear completely to make sure the job got done right, “I thought you were cute. But right now, like this, you’re just fucking hot.”

Baekhyun groaned at that, his back arching again as he reached out to Kyungsoo’s arm, holding on tightly.

“I thought you were so hot that night,” Baekhyun admitted, only because his brain wasn’t working enough to keep it from embarrassing itself.

“You could’ve had me doing this to you so much sooner if you had come back to my hotel with me,” Kyungsoo said, picking up the pace, which made Baekhyun come completely undone as he curled his fingers into Kyungsoo’s skin.

“I’m gonna…” Baekhyun tried to warn, but his body once again was too far ahead of him, and he spilled all over Kyungsoo’s hand, bucking his hips as he rode out his orgasm.

He could barely loosen his grip after, only doing so when Kyungsoo shifted his leg over him to hold him close and kiss him all over again, not seeming to care about the mess Baekhyun had created between them.

“You have no idea how much I needed that,” Baekhyun admitted to him, as he took another deep breath.

“You have no idea how much I enjoyed giving you that,” Kyungsoo told him, peppering him with small kisses.

“Funny, I imagined you as the type to want things done to him instead,” Baekhyun said, lazily running his fingers over Kyungsoo’s arm and down to the side of his torso.

“I’m always in the mood for different things.”

“Right. The whole bored thing,” Baekhyun remembered, shifting so he could face him better and running his hand down over Kyungsoo’s hip. “So, is this what you had planned for the night I met you?”

“I didn’t have a plan outside of getting you back to my place. I figured it would progress naturally from there.”

Baekhyun bit his lip thinking about how different it would have been. It would have been less intimate, and probably more rushed, and there certainly wouldn’t have been an amazing dinner. It had been worth it to wait it out.

But now that he was in this situation, all he wanted to do was touch Kyungsoo and return the favor, so he freed him from his black briefs and started working him, glancing to see Kyungsoo watching him, biting his own lip, and a new rush of excitement shot up Baekhyun’s spine.

And then Kyungsoo was running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, and Baekhyun had no idea what to do with that because it made him want Kyungsoo to do more things to him, but he was supposed to be concentrating on making sure Kyungsoo was satisfied first.

But Baekhyun kissed him anyway, and then they were kissing each other with more fervor than before, Kyungsoo gripping Baekhyun’s hair and pulling slightly as Baekhyun sped up the rhythm of his hand, knowing from the jagged breathing in Kyungsoo’s kisses that he was close.

Kyungsoo came with a loud grunt, followed by a small whine before dropping his head into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck, finally letting go of his hair and letting his hand lazily drop on Baekhyun’s chest.

“Shit, that was good,” Kyungsoo remarked, breathing heavily.

Baekhyun thought he was being nice. He certainly needed more practice in the hand job department after such a long leave of absence from the act.

He held onto Kyungsoo and looked at him, taking him in and noticing how quickly he went from sexy hot rock god in bed to adorable and cuddly. Baekhyun wanted to squeeze him tight as Kyungsoo’s long eyelashes fluttered as he looked toward him with his big eyes.

“I think I really like you,” Baekhyun whispered, and he had meant for that to stay inside his head, but his brain enjoyed betraying him.

“I think I really like you too,” Kyungsoo replied, and Baekhyun’s heart sped up all over again.

They shared more soft kisses, and more soft touches, and Baekhyun tried really hard to not think about what they had both just said to each other. It was a fun summer thing. That’s all it was. That was it.


	14. Chapter 14

The heat wave of the week persisted, even into the early stages of sunset, making Baekhyun wish he had thought to change out of his work clothes into something cooler before hitting the beach.

Sehun caught one final wave and came back in, done for the day. He laid his board down and took a seat beside Baekhyun on the blanket.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Sehun mentioned, towel drying his hair with quick motions, “Joons mentioned you didn’t come home last night. I figured you’d be back at Kyungsoo’s after work.”

“How did you know I was at Kyungsoo’s? I could have been spending the night at my parents’,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“Joons said he heard you come back in the morning. He said it sounded like a walk of shame type of sneaking in.”

“What does that even mean?” Baekhyun asked, his pitch rising in embarrassment, and Sehun laughed at him and clapped his hands. “Anyway, none of that has anything to do with me being here. Of course, I’m here.”

“So did you guys finally hook up?”

“You are such a gossip.”

“Is he good in bed?” Sehun said, turning so Baekhyun could unzip his wetsuit.

“We didn’t… I mean, we just gave each other hand jobs,” Baekhyun said with a soft blush.

Sehun took his arms out of the wet suit and smirked as he looked at him, then asked, “Is he good at hand jobs?”

“Why do you wanna know?” Baekhyun said, slapping at his arm. “No more questions.”

“I’m living vicariously through you. It should have been me,” Sehun said with a laugh. Not that Baekhyun needed the reminder, but that fateful day when Sehun had asked him to go to the concert suddenly seemed so long ago.

“Well, if it had been you, I’m sure you would have enjoyed it.”

“I knew he was good,” Sehun said with a satisfied nod. “Hey, did he mention anything about the bonfire?”

“Uh, no,” Baekhyun said, “What bonfire?”

“Jongdae is leaving back to Korea to get started on his solo album, so we had decided we were going to send him off with a bonfire.”

Baekhyun’s face conveyed his surprise at hearing this, and he asked, “We decided? Who’s we?”

“Me, Joons, Jongin, Chanyeol, Yixing, and Minseok. Basically everyone except you two because you guys are always off in your own world when the rest of us have these important conversations.”

“I’m not sure Kyungsoo even knows then. I’ll let him know tonight.”

“So you are headed back there tonight,” Sehun said smirking again.

“Shut up!” Baekhyun said, dropping his face into his hands to hide the warmth spreading on his face.

Sehun pat him on the back and rubbed it, then said, “I’m happy for you, Baek,” before getting up to get his stuff together.

They walked back toward their cars and hugged each other goodbye. Baekhyun drove back south to Newport Beach and to Kyungsoo’s place, feeling excited all over again and somewhat giddy. Yes, the hand job had been good, but he desperately wanted more, and he started thinking that maybe he needed to pull back again.

But pulling back would have to wait because it didn’t take long between the time he walked into Kyungsoo’s place and the time they were in bed, naked and touching each other while kissing and licking and sucking and doing whatever else the other thought might feel good to do.

And then Kyungsoo’s head was between Baekhyun’s legs and Baekhyun was pretty sure he was going to combust from how expertly Kyungsoo worked him with his mouth, tongue, lips, everything that he was using to give Baekhyun the best blowjob he had ever received.

Baekhyun returned the favor, having some tricks of his own. Part of his pursuit of perfection in his relationship with Kris had been trying to make sure that he gave his boyfriend the most perfect blowjob, and while Kris had thoroughly enjoyed Baekhyun’s attempts, he realized now that it had all just been practice for this moment right here—this perfect moment with the hottest rock star Baekhyun had ever seen, who was gripping the bedsheets so tight as his back arched and he groaned out Baekhyun’s name in pleasure.

They held each other after, completely spent and lazily petting each other with the small ounce of energy they had left.

“You’re so good at everything,” Baekhyun said, shivering just a bit as he thought about it all over again.

Kyungsoo pulled him closer, interpreting the shiver as being chilly, and managed to pull his comforter over them in the process.

“So are you,” Kyungsoo told him. “I’m a little upset with you for making me wait so long for this.”

“I’m a little upset with myself to be honest,” Baekhyun admitted with a tired chuckle. “I’m not even sure how much longer I have you for. Jongdae is leaving in a couple of days. Did you hear about the bonfire we’re doing?”

“Minseok told me about it when he came over today,” Kyungsoo said, staring at him as he traced lazy patterns on Baekhyun’s arm. “He’s going to go start working on his solo album.”

“You don’t have to leave anytime soon do you?” Baekhyun knew he looked worried. They had just started, and he didn’t want it over too soon.

“No,” Kyungsoo said with a gentle smile. “I’m working on my solo album here. I’ll be here the whole summer at least. Depending on how long it takes me anyway.”

“How’s it going?” Baekhyun asked.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and buried his head into the crook of Baekhyun’s arm, shaking his head and letting out a small groan.

Baekhyun laughed at him and dropped a small kiss on Kyungsoo’s head.

“Maybe you’ll find inspiration when we go to Malibu this weekend. Or maybe at the bonfire,” Baekhyun said as he let out a big yawn.

He had been up early that morning, having to get to his home to change and get ready for work. But this time he’d been smarter and brought a change of clothes and his toiletries with him. He reached over to the nightstand to set the alarm on his phone really quick, knowing he would forget with as tired as he was.

“Yeah, maybe,” Kyungsoo said, watching him. “I suppose I can write a song about Jongdae leaving us to be the king of OSTs.”

Kyungsoo reached over to the lamp by his own night stand to turn it off once Baekhyun was done.

“That would be funny,” Baekhyun said, yawning again as he cuddled back into Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and held him tight, letting him fall asleep comfortably in his arms.

***

The evening of the bonfire came too quickly, and Baekhyun felt a bit sad as he carried firewood across the sand. Junmyeon walked beside him and carried the cooler that had bottles of soju and more honey lemon tea for Jongdae to have one last time before he left.

They set up around the fire ring that Jongin had been able to secure for them earlier in the evening, a major perk of having worked on the beach that day since the fire rings tended to be snatched up fairly quickly during the summer.

“I’ll start the fire,” Junmyeon told them as he started placing the firewood in the ring.

“I brought everything we need for s’mores,” Sehun stated looking through the grocery bags he had brought with him. “Also, I got us vegan marshmallows,” he stated as he pulled out a bag of marshmallows for Junmyeon to verify. “This guy at work who’s vegan told me that marshmallows weren’t vegan, so I had to run to Trader Joe’s to get this one. The guy swears they’re as good as the real thing.”

“Why didn’t you get normal marshmallows for the rest of us just in case they aren’t as good as the real thing?” Jongin asked with a chuckle, taking the bag from Junmyeon to inspect it himself.

“Because Trader Joe’s only had these,” Sehun explained. “But don’t worry, I got real hot dogs, along with two types of vegan hot dogs. I didn’t know which you wanted, so I got you a veggie one and a tofu one.”

“I mean, did you just do all his grocery shopping for the week?” Baekhyun had to tease him. “He’s probably only going to eat one from one package. What’s he going to do with all those fake hot dogs?”

“I will eat them all,” Junmyeon said with a smile, and he glanced at Sehun and said, “Thank you. Can you hand me the lighter?”

Sehun looked thrilled that he had pleased Junmyeon, and he handed him the lighter and watched him with a fond smile as Junmyeon got the bonfire going.

Baekhyun had just taken out his camera and was able to catch the expression on Sehun’s face, right before turning his attention to capture shots of the fire with the golden glow of the sun setting on the water behind it.

It was sweet, Baekhyun thought, how much Sehun liked Junmyeon and how Junmyeon treated him nicer than everyone else because he knew of the crush the younger man had on him. He really wished it could work out somehow for them, but life didn’t seem to be in Baekhyun’s or Sehun’s corner when it came to things like this. Sehun had to suffer through an unrequited love, and Baekhyun had to suffer through a short summer fling.

“Hey! You started the fire without us!” Jongdae said, laughing as he ran toward them.

“We wanted to welcome you with it,” Sehun said, stretching his arms out as if to present the fire to him. “Welcome to your bonfire bon voyage!”

Jongdae made an excited loud noise and hugged Sehun, jumping up and down with him before doing the same with Jongin and Junmyeon.

Baekhyun would have probably been next if he hadn’t been too busy staring at Kyungsoo’s figure, taking his time walking on the beach toward them as he held his phone in front of him, taking pictures of the scene and beautiful scenery behind them.

As he took him in, he thought about how even if he only had Kyungsoo for a short time, it was definitely worth it. Junmyeon had been right after all, and Baekhyun lifted his camera to get a shot of Kyungsoo that he already knew he’d be staring at for years to come, remembering back to this moment right here.

“Are you guys going to play us new songs?” Sehun asked someone with excitement in his voice, and Baekhyun glanced over to see that Chanyeol and Yixing had brought acoustic guitars with them and had already taken a seat around the ring.

“Even better,” Yixing said, “We’re going to play some works in progress.”

“This is the best bonfire ever,” Sehun said, and Baekhyun chuckled then looked back, just in time to see Kyungsoo stand right in front of him, his phone up, and then bringing it down with a smile.

“I just took the best picture of you,” Kyungsoo said.

“That’s what you said about the last picture,” Baekhyun remind him, and he wanted to greet him with a kiss, but instead he reached out and passed his fingers down Kyungsoo’s forearm, letting his pinky hang onto Kyungsoo’s when he had gotten to his hand.

Kyungsoo smiled at him, and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them, almost as if envisioning the kiss he would have given him back.

They sat by the ring, legs tucked under and knees touching as Baekhyun took the wooden skewer from the bag that had been passed to him by Junmyeon, then passed the bag along to Kyungsoo.

“I’ve never been to a bonfire before,” Minseok, who sat between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol informed them. “What do we do?”

“First we have to sacrifice someone,” Sehun joked.

“I pick Junmyeon for the sacrifice,” Jongin said laughing.

“If we sacrifice him,” Baekhyun pointed out, “Then you’re going to be stuck eating all his vegan hot dogs.”

“There are vegan hot dogs?” Yixing asked with a surprised expression.

“Basically,” Chanyeol said to Minseok, “We grill hot dogs in the fire, and eat, and drink, and play songs.”

“And s’mores!” Sehun said lifting up the bag of vegan marshmallows.

“Oh, right,” Chanyeol said with a smile, “And s’mores.”

“What are s’mores?” Yixing asked.

“Yeah, what are they?” Minseok asked, not able to see the bag from where he sat.

“Just wait for it,” Chanyeol told him with a laugh.

The hot dogs were passed around, Yixing choosing to join Junmyeon in his vegan-ness because he had wanted to try the tofu hot dog.

“Can I toast the bread in the fire?” Jongdae asked. “I’ve never done a real bonfire before. Although when I lived in New Jersey, my school made us go camping and do a campfire, but I don’t remember bread with our hot dogs.”

“Your school was being cheap,” Sehun teased him.

“Yeah probably,” Jongdae said with a loud laugh.

“Here,” Sehun said passing him some foil, “Wrap your bread in the foil and just do it for like a few seconds.”

“Nice,” Jongdae said taking it, “Thanks.”

“You guys are pros,” Chanyeol commented as he strummed a light melody on his guitar, not caring much about his hot dog at the moment.

“We used to do this more when we were younger,” Baekhyun told him. “Now we’re too old and too busy for it.”

“I only ever remember doing this in high school a few times,” Chanyeol said, glancing toward Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo had caught the glance, having looked at him when he had said that, and he looked back at his hot dog that he was holding over the fire. He pulled it out to inspect it.

“It’s so the thing to do in high school,” Sehun nodded in agreement. “My surfing friends and I used to do this all the time after we spent all day surfing.”

Baekhyun smiled, and a small part of him felt a soft pang of sadness for being so absent during that part of Sehun’s life. In retrospect, he probably wouldn’t have minded some nights of bonfire shenanigans instead of late nights practicing.

Baekhyun put ketchup and mustard on his hot dog before finally biting into it, savoring the smoky flavor that only came from cooking over a real fire.

“This is the best hot dog I’ve ever had,” Minseok said, almost sighing as he looked at it and took another bite.

“It’s so good,” Jongdae agreed.

“This tofu one is quite nice,” Yixing commented. “The texture is wrong, but the flavor is quite good.”

“Well there’s a lot more if you want another one,” Jongin let him know.

“It was good,” Junmyeon agreed, “I think I’m ready to try the veggie one now.”

“I’ll take another tofu one,” Yixing said to Sehun, who passed the packages around again.

Junmyeon handed out cups for drinks and mentioned that they hadn’t done shots yet to officially start the party, so bottles of soju were passed around and shots were poured.

Sehun raised his cup for a toast.

“To Jongdae, may you have safe travels and make the best solo album ever!”

“Ah, thank you,” Jongdae said, raising his glass and yelling, “ _Geonbae_!” before taking his shot.

“ _Geonbae_!” They all yelled out, Baekhyun at least knowing the word for “Cheers” in Korean.

Sehun went over the instructions for the s’mores for the members that were unacquainted with the concept, while Baekhyun stood up to get pictures of the dark blue hue of the sky now that the sun had hidden behind the horizon for the evening.

He took more pictures of the group, and a rather funny picture of Minseok looking mildly horrified as his marshmallow caught on fire.

“When was the last time you had a good s’more?” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo once he had sat back down, somehow even closer to him than he had been before.

“I can’t even remember,” Kyungsoo said with a rather content smile as he carefully watched his marshmallow roast. He removed it with just a tiny flame finishing the top off perfectly.

“Look at you. You’re a pro,” Baekhyun told him.

“It’s the cook in me,” Kyungsoo reasoned, as he squashed his s’more together and lifted it up to Baekhyun’s lips.

Baekhyun took a bite of the chocolatey gooey goodness and almost melted.

“It’s the best s’more I’ve ever had,” Baekhyun said, almost drooling about it, and Kyungsoo laughed and took a bite from it, before licking some stray melted marshmallow from his thumb.

“These are incredible,” Yixing said, after taking his first bite.

“Why don’t we have this in Korea?” Minseok said, already making himself another one. “They’re so good.”

“The vegan marshmallow really doesn’t taste different,” Jongin acknowledged, as he also made himself another one.

“No, it’s good,” Baekhyun agreed.

They continued to make s’mores until they all decided they needed to give their stomachs a rest, and then Chanyeol and Yixing decided to serenade them, asking for requests.

“Start with a song we can all sing along with,” Jongdae said. “Like that one song that everyone knows.”

“That could be anything,” Yixing said, looking at him amused.

“I think Jongdae’s had too much soju,” Jongin teased him, and Jongdae laughed loudly.

“There are a lot of American songs I don’t know,” Yixing admitted.

“Let’s do one you know,” Junmyeon said. “Lady Gaga? Ariana Grande? Little Mix?”

“Junmyeon likes girl singers,” Baekhyun explained.

“And he’s the straight one?” Jongdae asked laughing.

“Girl singers are great and very underappreciated,” Junmyeon stated with a nod.

“I agree,” Jongdae nodded, “My favorite singer is Beyoncé. It’s just funny.”

“Oh, I know Beyoncé songs,” Yixing said.

“Let’s do ‘Drunk in Love’,” Jongdae said getting really hyped.

“I… don’t know that one though,” Yixing said.

“Just follow me,” Chanyeol said, starting to strum, and Baekhyun loved how effortlessly Chanyeol played and how soft and deep his tone sounded as he started singing, “ _I’ve been drinking, I’ve been drinking._ ”

Jongdae, Sehun, Junmyeon, and Baekhyun all joined in very loudly.

“ _I get filthy when that liquor get into me. I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking._ ”

Jongin couldn’t stop cracking up at them and he took out his phone to record the hot mess that was now happening as the boys all tried to out-sass each other. Baekhyun turned his attention to singing to Kyungsoo, who also had his phone out and trained right on him, which made Baekhyun play it up even more for Kyungsoo’s camera.

“ _We woke up in the kitchen saying how the hell did this shit happen, oh baby. Drunk in love. We be all night. Last thing I remember is our beautiful bodies grinding off in that club._ ”

And Baekhyun made sure to add slow hip rolls to that part just for Kyungsoo, who ended up sucking in his lower lip as he tried to not laugh out loud.

“Wait, this is my part!” Sehun announced standing up as he went into some hip movement and started singing, “ _Then I fill the tub up halfway then riding with my surfboard. Surfboard, surfboard. Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood. I’m swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body Benz. Serving all this, swerve, surfing all of this good, good._ ”

“Oh my God,” Jongin said, laying on the ground as he laughed and even Chanyeol had stopped playing to clap his hands in laughter.

“I had no idea Beyoncé had songs about surfing,” Minseok said unironically, and everyone ended up laughing harder, ending the song right then and there.

“Beyoncé wrote this song for me,” Sehun proclaimed as he sat back down, and Baekhyun laughed and looked at Junmyeon to laugh with him.

Only Junmyeon wasn’t laughing. He simply stared at Sehun, a half-smile on his face as he seemed to take him in, looking a bit unsure and a bit something else that Baekhyun couldn’t decipher. Sehun looked toward Junmyeon, and Junmyeon quickly looked at Chanyeol and said, “You should play one of your songs.”

“We do a pretty mean acoustic version of our song ‘Hurt’,” Chanyeol said, “If Kyungsoo’s up for singing it.”

“I love that song,” Sehun said, looking excited by the possibility, and Baekhyun smiled, knowing that his excitement would make Kyungsoo do it.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo said. So predictable. Baekhyun chuckled to himself and looked at Kyungsoo, ready to hear him sing again for the first time since the night he had first met him.

Chanyeol looked a little surprised that Kyungsoo had agreed, and he said, “Okay,” as he looked for the right chords.

Both Chanyeol and Yixing fell into perfect time with each other as they strummed the song, and Kyungsoo began singing the lyrics, which were in Korean, and meant nothing to Baekhyun, but Kyungsoo’s voice itself meant everything. That soulful tone took Baekhyun back to that moment when he had seen him on stage, in his element and holding every audience member in the palm of his hand, just like at this bonfire, as each person around it watched him with such intensity, feeling the pain when he sang the only English words in the song, “ _You hurt me_.”

Baekhyun wished he knew what the song was about, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that it had to have been about Luhan, only that wouldn’t make sense since technically Kyungsoo had been the one to hurt Luhan. He then wondered if it had been one of the songs that Luhan had written with Yixing.

“That was so good!” Sehun stated, clapping as soon as they finished, and Baekhyun clapped as well along with Junmyeon and Jongin.

“Yeah, that’s one of our classics,” Jongdae said. “People liked the lyrics so much that I think they appreciated the acoustic version for that alone.”

Baekhyun made a mental note to listen to that song as soon as he could.

“This is one Yixing and I have been working on,” Chanyeol said as he started a new song, and Baekhyun loved the melody of it as Chanyeol started singing it with his own soulful tone that Baekhyun really liked.

“Oh, I like that,” Baekhyun said after Chanyeol finished. “It has a really nice groove to it. Like I could see French Montana taking it and doing something really cool with it.”

“Wait,” Kyungsoo said, “You listen to something other than Kendrick?”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun said, shoving him lightly as Sehun laughed at the comment.

“I’m just shocked right now,” Kyungsoo said, blinking innocently at him.

“Do you know any Kendrick?” Sehun asked Chanyeol. “Can you play Kendrick?”

“Uh…” Chanyeol said thinking, “I can maybe do the chorus of ‘Humble’.”

Sehun and Baekhyun didn’t even wait for a guitar as they both started rapping, “ _Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances. Finesse a_ ,” they both paused the beat, knowing better than to say the “n” word, then continued, “ _with some counterfeits._ ”

Chanyeol started strumming along, as did Yixing who kept time with the flow, and then Chanyeol joined in when they got to chorus as the three of them sang, “ _Sit down. Be humble. Sit down. Be humble._ ”

Jongdae cheered loudly and then reached over to Yixing and smacked his arm, then said, “Why have we never written something as brilliant as ‘ _Show me somethin' natural like ass with some stretchmarks_ ’ before?”

“Probably because your target audience would think you were crazy if you did,” Minseok pointed out.

“You can use that for your solo album,” Junmyeon teased him.

“I want something like that on my album,” Jongdae proclaimed.

“What are stretchmarks?” Yixing asked Jongdae.

Jongdae fell back as he laughed loudly, and Chanyeol took the initiative to explain it to him.

Baekhyun noticed Kyungsoo shudder a little, and Baekhyun grabbed the blanket he had brought and handed him one corner so they could share it and wrap it around themselves.

“Did you forget it gets cool on the beach?” Baekhyun asked him.

“It was hot all day, and we were doing a fire. I thought the fire would keep us warm enough.”

“Nothing keeps you warm from a cool ocean breeze,” Baekhyun told him.

“Is he okay?” Yixing asked, looking over the flickering flames toward Jongin’s direction.

“Yeah, he just fell asleep,” Junmyeon told him. “He can fall asleep anywhere. He spends all day in the sun running around, so he’s usually passed out in bed by this time.”

“Oh, should we go home then?” Yixing asked concerned.

“No, he’s fine,” Sehun waved off.

“The beach is his second home,” Baekhyun explained, “He’s practically sleeping at home.”

Chanyeol started strumming again and began a rendition of “Creep” by Radiohead, which sounded lovely and soothing as Baekhyun leaned his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and Kyungsoo leaned his head against his.

Baekhyun stared out past the fire to the ocean, barely illuminated by the lights coming from the shore. Even when he couldn’t really see the ocean, it still looked beautiful to him, and he felt at peace and happy in that moment, especially when Kyungsoo took Baekhyun’s hand into his, curling his fingers around it and rubbing his thumb over the back of Baekhyun’s hand.

“Can we stay like this forever?” Baekhyun asked him, soft enough for only Kyungsoo to hear.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo said. “We’re never leaving this moment.”

 _If only_ , Baekhyun thought to himself.

But when all the soju and tea was gone, and the last s’more had been eaten, the fire finally gave out, and it was time for them to unfortunately leave.

“What’d I miss?” Jongin asked as he stood up and wiped sand off his arm.

“Nothing much,” Sehun said, “Jongdae gave Junmyeon a lap dance, but that was it.”

“What?” Jongin asked, his eyes flying wide open. “And I missed it?”

“He’s joking,” Junmyeon let him know as he started throwing things into a bag to throw away.

“I could give you one if you like though,” Jongdae told him.

“You’re going to have a terrible hangover on your flight tomorrow,” Yixing told him with a small chuckle.

“You have to come back for my surfing competition,” Sehun told Jongdae.

“I will. I put it on my calendar. Even if I’m not done with my album, I’m going to come back for it.”

Sehun gave him an excited hug for the answer.

They collected their things, threw away what needed to be thrown away, and headed to their cars, everyone taking turns to give Jongdae a big hug and wish him a safe trip.

“So, am I giving you a ride home?” Sehun asked Junmyeon, already knowing that Baekhyun had intended to drive with Kyungsoo back to Kyungsoo’s place.

“I’m actually Ubering to my girlfriend’s place. I told her I’d go over after this,” Junmyeon said, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he looked a little uncomfortable.

“Okay,” Sehun said with a shrug. “See you guys later.”

Sehun got in his car after making sure Jongin was awake enough to drive himself home as well, and Baekhyun took a moment to really take Junmyeon in, noticing he wasn’t moving from his spot as he watched Sehun pull out of the parking lot.

“Did you call your Uber already?” Baekhyun asked him.

“No, I should do that,” he said, fumbling to take his phone out of his pocket.

“I can just drop you off, you know?”

“I’m good. I could use the time to think, or something,” he said, pulling up the Uber app.

Baekhyun pat Junmyeon on the shoulder and told him he’d see him tomorrow. He then collected Kyungsoo so they could go back to his place.

“So let’s talk about your hip moves,” Kyungsoo said as Baekhyun drove them down the PCH.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun said, laughing a little self-consciously.

“I didn’t know you could Beyoncé.”

“I highly doubt I’m worthy of that comparison.”

“I guess we’ll find out tonight.”

“I guess we will,” Baekhyun said.

A little tingle went up his spine, and he drove a little faster.


	15. Chapter 15

The heat followed them to Malibu, but Baekhyun didn’t seem to mind it as much as he took pictures of Kyungsoo in front of the Malibu Farm restaurant sign. It was touristy and cliché, but he didn’t care. Kyungsoo looked disaffected, leaning against the white wall with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking toward the side, shades on, and giving Baekhyun the opportunity to admire his profile. He was so good at modeling that Baekhyun sort of kind of wished he could spend the rest of his life just photographing Kyungsoo as a job.

“So, is this why you didn’t bring a picnic?” Kyungsoo asked once they were done with the shots, and he looked back toward the restaurant on the pier that had a rustic vibe and incredible ocean views.

“Are you kidding? That place is way overpriced. But there’s a Jack-in-the-Box across the street we can go to if we get hungry.”

Kyungsoo looked in the direction of the fast food chain and then back at the Malibu restaurant and took Baekhyun’s hand to lead him toward it.

“I want the overpriced place,” Kyungsoo said, as if Baekhyun hadn’t figured that out from being led there.

“You’re such a rock star,” Baekhyun teased him, and then he lifted his camera to take some pics of the framed ocean views the restaurant provided.

They were seated at a wooden table with the best view of the ocean and the pier—the ocean breeze keeping them cooled down from the beaming sun overhead.

“So what’s good here?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“I’ve never eaten here,” Baekhyun told him. He looked over the menu and took in the prices.

“I didn’t peg you for frugal,” Kyungsoo said with a small smirk in his direction.

“I’m not, but if I’m going to spend $15 on food, it’s going to be on a big bowl of tonkotsu ramen, or a big bowl of bibimbap with a side of galbi. Not on a sandwich.”

“How dare you? This skirt steak sandwich is $23. Show some respect.”

“See!” Baekhyun said, holding his arm out as if he had proven his point.

Baekhyun ended up ordering the only slightly less expensive burger, while Kyungsoo went for the skirt steak sandwich. They ordered a cauliflower pizza as a starter on recommendation of their server and mint lemonades after they saw another table enjoying them.

“Okay, lean back against the glass a bit while we wait,” Baekhyun instructed him, needing to get the shot of him at the table with the ocean behind him.

Kyungsoo gave him exactly the shot he wanted, pulling his knee up to wrap an arm around it as he lazily leaned his head back against the glass, very much looking like a cat catching every ray of sun.

 _He’s so beautiful_ , Baekhyun thought to himself, and was grateful his mouth didn’t betray him as he took more shots.

“You’re so much better at this than Sehun,” Baekhyun joked, attempting to get his mind to stop thinking things that would embarrass him if they left his mouth.

“I’d think he’d be a natural,” Kyungsoo said, looking back at him with the fond smile he always seemed to have when Sehun was the subject of conversation.

“Yeah, he’s naturally bad at taking directions. I’ll be like, ‘Hey, Sehunnie, lean against that car,’ and he’d go touch it and give an awkward pose. He’s just lucky the camera likes him.”

“You should show me some pictures you’ve taken of him.”

“Why?” Baekhyun said, giving him a suspicious look, “Don’t make me jealous again. I’m convinced you really want him and not me.”

“For the five millionth time, if I had wanted him, I would have had him, not you,” Kyungsoo said, his thick eyebrows raising to make sure he understood.

“I believe you in theory,” Baekhyun stated. He scrolled through his phone’s photos to find some from an ill-attempt at doing a photo shoot of Sehun with his surfboard. “Here, these came out pretty good because his hair was wet, which gave him this cool look.”

Kyungsoo took Baekhyun’s phone and that fond smile widened as he scrolled through each pic.

“He’s really incredibly photogenic,” Kyungsoo commented. He continued scrolling for a bit, and then Baekhyun realized that he had gone too far, so he reached out to take his phone back, only to have Kyungsoo pull it in closer to himself.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, leaning further over the table to grab it.

“How many sunset pictures do you really need?” Kyungsoo commented.

“Shush and give me my phone back.”

Kyungsoo then paused on a picture, and Baekhyun deflated, knowing exactly which one it was and wishing he had grabbed the phone out of his hand in time.

“Is this the ex?” Kyungsoo asked, turning the phone around so Baekhyun could be confronted with the picture that he kept of a selfie he had taken of him and Kris on the beach, their faces golden from the light of the setting sun.

Baekhyun snatched the phone away from him finally and placed it in his camera bag, answering, “Yeah,” as he did so.

“You didn’t delete all evidence of him after you guys broke up?”

“He’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had. I’ll replace it when I get a new one,” he waved off, thanking the server before taking a sip of his overpriced mint lemonade, which was very sweet, and thankfully very refreshing as well.

“That’s not how breakups work. You’re supposed to delete all his pictures so you make room for the new ones you’ll take with your new boyfriend.”

“Well,” Baekhyun said, stirring his drink around with his straw, “It turns out I wasn’t good at being in a relationship, and I didn’t get the breakup right either, so chances are this isn’t something I’ll do again.”

“How long ago did you guys break up?”

“So you deleted all your pics of Luhan?”

Baekhyun didn’t know why he felt so defensive that he had to throw that in his face, but Kyungsoo’s shoulders straightened and that wall that Baekhyun had almost forgotten all about resurfaced.

“Sorry, I was just curious,” Baekhyun tried to backpedal. “I thought maybe you knew how to break up better than I did.”

Kyungsoo drank some of his tea and looked out at the pier, which made Baekhyun sigh, thinking he had lost him again, but then Kyungsoo said, “Luhan and I never said we were together, so technically we didn’t break up.”

“Oh, right,” Baekhyun nodded, trying to think of what he could change the subject to that would make Kyungsoo relaxed again, but then Kyungsoo continued.

“When Minseok told me that the company didn’t want Luhan around anymore because of the rumors, Minseok offered to break the news to him. But I knew I had to do it myself. So I went to the hotel room we had been sharing. It was assigned to me and Chanyeol, and Luhan was supposed to have been with the rest of the crew in another hotel, but Chanyeol went to go room with Minseok so that Luhan and I could have the room alone.”

Baekhyun almost cursed when the server brought them their pizza, not wanting anything to interrupt the story he was being told, but luckily the server was gone quickly and both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo grabbed a slice.

“So anyway, I waited for him to come to the room after he was done with his duties, and he saw the look on my face, and I think he knew right away. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him. I didn’t even try and sugarcoat it. I just flat out told him. The rumors were getting bigger, the company was scared of what would happen if people knew the truth, so I had to fire him.”

“How did he take it?” Baekhyun asked, reaching for another slice already.

“He said he understood. He looked devastated, but he held it together. He didn’t try and talk me out of it. He didn’t plead his case. He just left the room. And that was the last time we ever spoke.”

“Wait what?” Baekhyun said, mouth half-full of cauliflower pizza. He swallowed and said, “He just accepted it and left? He didn’t try and fight for it?”

“He knew what the band meant to me. He knew why I had made the choice I had. He knew there was nothing that could be done,” Kyungsoo said with a shrug. “At the band meeting later that night, Yixing looked two seconds away from punching me. So I figured that Luhan had gone straight to him first before leaving the hotel altogether.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, “I forget that’s his best friend. Are they still best friends?”

Kyungsoo nodded and grabbed his next slice, “They’re still close. They still write songs together from time to time when Yixing goes back home to China. Luhan works almost exclusively in China now, writing songs and producing for Chinese artists.”

“And you really haven’t seen him since that night?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, then paused and considered something, then replied, “We’ve been at the same award shows here and there, but have never interacted. I saw him backstage at one talking to someone, and I wanted to go over to him so badly, to apologize or just ask him how he was, but everything was chaotic and I was ushered to wherever I had to be. That’s usually how those things go anyway. But I know he’s doing well, and he’s moved on. He’s dating a very popular actress in China, and Yixing always says he’s happy whenever I ask him.”

“How often do you ask him?” Baekhyun went ahead and asked.

“Usually every time I know he’s just seen him.”

Baekhyun smiled and nodded in understanding, then said, “I bet he asks how you’re doing every time he sees Yixing.”

“He shouldn’t. Not after what I did to him. But Luhan’s a very kind person. He does ask, and Yixing always tells him I'm doing well.”

“Interesting,” Baekhyun said, taking his last slice, “He tells Luhan that you’re doing well, but he tells you that Luhan’s happy.”

“Yixing has no reason to lie,” Kyungsoo said, following his train of thought, “And Luhan can see the pictures and videos of me all over the web. He knows I’m not happy.”

“And yet he keeps asking,” Baekhyun pointed out. “I think Luhan wants you to be happy. Okay, I didn’t want to admit this because it’s overpriced, but this is a damn good cauliflower pizza.”

“It really is,” Kyungsoo agreed, a small fraction of his smile returning as he nodded. “I’m half-tempted to order another one.”

“Let’s do it,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh. He waved their server down to put in the order. “I wish I had known. I would have skipped the burger and just ordered these.”

“Next time,” Kyungsoo said.

“Hm,” Baekhyun said with a little mischievous smile, “I don’t come up to Malibu often. Not sure about a next time.”

“Well then we better eat as many of these now as we can.”

Baekhyun snorted and laughed, and Kyungsoo smiled a bit more, but then lost his smile as he looked at Baekhyun with curious eyes. He should have guessed what would come next.

“So tell me about you and the ex. Kris, right?”

Baekhyun sighed and wondered if they charged for refills of the mint lemonade. They probably did, but he asked for another one anyway.

“Not much to tell,” Baekhyun began. “We met in college. I was a sophomore. He was a junior. We met in an art class. He was an art major. I was taking it for fun. We got paired up for an assignment where we had to draw the other. I can’t draw, and by that point in class, I already knew he was pretty good at it, so I was nervous about it and ended up drawing these two lines. He looked at it and laughed and said something like, ‘Yeah, that actually defines me well.’ And I apologized and told him that I just can’t draw. He offered to help me out. So we would meet up to draw, and hang out, which led to more, and the rest is history.”

“He’s really attractive,” Kyungsoo said, with a knowing smirk back on his face, “I can see why it would lead to more.”

“He was stupid attractive. Like it didn’t make sense. And he was tall and broody and this art guy that seemed to have really deep thoughts. I usually felt like a dumb little kid next to him. He could have had anyone, but for some reason he chose me. Then a year and a half later, he decided he didn’t want me anymore.” Baekhyun gave a small shrug.

Their main courses came out and Baekhyun regretted getting the burger once he saw the size of it. He debated just taking it home and finishing off the second cauliflower pizza instead.

“Did he tell you why?” Kyungsoo asked before he took a bite of his rather large steak sandwich.

“I was trying so hard to make everything perfect between us that he felt that I wasn’t letting us just be us. Or something like that. I think in the beginning, he found my obsessive ways a bit endearing, and after a year he had had enough. I don’t know. I’ve tried to think about it from every angle, and I still haven’t figured out exactly what I did wrong. As the years have passed, I’ve gotten a bit more objective about it, and I think with his senior year wrapping up and his future ahead of him, he just wanted to move on and start his post-college life fresh and with a clean slate.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo said as he finished eating his bite, “That is a very objective and mature way to look at it. You’re probably not wrong. Did you ever see him again after you guys broke up?”

“I mean, around campus. It was inevitable I’d see him from time to time. But I never talked to him again. The day after he dumped me, he came by to get some things he had left at my place, and I tried to talk him out of it and have us sit and work things out, but he had made up his mind, so when he left, I had to accept that he really didn’t want to be with me. Like he didn’t even want to talk about it or give me a chance to fix whatever I may have done wrong, so I kind of knew then that it wasn’t an overnight decision. It was something he must had been thinking about doing for a while.”

It still bothered Baekhyun to think about it, and he had to take a sip of his drink to keep his emotions down.

“I’m not eating this burger,” he then said to change the subject, “It’s too big. And I’m too obsessed with the pizza.”

“We’ll take it to go,” Kyungsoo agreed. “I can’t finish my sandwich. It’s really good though. Do you want to try it?” He held it out to him, and Baekhyun leaned forward so he could take a bite of it.

“Oh, that is good,” Baekhyun said, giving it a thumbs up.

They let their server know that they wanted their food to go and then decided on post-lunch cappuccinos so they could sit for a bit longer and relax with their ocean view.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Kyungsoo said, as he turned to take a picture of the view with his phone, “Breaking up with someone isn’t ever really easy. It’s not as bad as being broken up with,” he paused to look over his picture and then turned forward again as he lifted his phone to take a picture of Baekhyun, “But it’s never an easy decision to make.”

Baekhyun gave him a cheesy smile and a peace sign, which made Kyungsoo smile as he tapped his screen a few times then put his phone down to give him his full attention again.

“When I broke up with my girlfriend earlier this year,” Kyungsoo continued, “It was something I had been considering for several months, but I had too many feelings about it to just do it. First and foremost, I didn’t want to hurt her. Second, I didn’t want to prove everyone right about us. Third, I didn’t want to go back to being single again. But there comes a point where you know you have to let it go.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said with a small pout as he mindlessly ran his fingers over the condensation of his glass. “I mean, I guess it makes sense.”

“Kris was stupid though,” Kyungsoo then said with a smile playing on the corner of his lips, “Letting you go is probably something he regrets to this day.”

Baekhyun snorted and said, “I doubt it. His Facebook is public so I stalk him on it every now and again, and he’s doing really well for himself. He lives in New York with some new boyfriend who is just as hot as he is.”

“How boring,” Kyungsoo said with a dismissive tone that made Baekhyun almost laugh. “Like I said, he’s stupid. I never would have dumped you.”

A small tingle went up Baekhyun’s spine, and he felt his cheeks get a little warm.

“Yeah right,” he tried to laugh off. “You’re the one that breaks up with people.”

“Sometimes,” Kyungsoo said, looking right into his eyes, “But I wouldn’t have broken up with you.”

Baekhyun was saved from a response or reaction by the server arriving with their coffees, and he had never been more grateful for an interruption. He knew that Kyungsoo meant if they had been in college together and had met there and started dating, but Baekhyun would have loved to have asked him if that would have been the case if they were in the same situation as he and Luhan had been. Baekhyun knew the answer, so he knew better than to ask and make Kyungsoo’s defenses rise again for no reason.

“Look, I got a whale,” Baekhyun said, pointing to the design on his cappuccino, “What’d you get?”

“A heart,” Kyungsoo said.

“Aw, like your lips,” Baekhyun said, and Kyungsoo smiled, forming an even bigger heart that made Baekhyun wish he had been holding his camera to capture it.

They enjoyed their coffees and the view, Baekhyun taking more pictures of Kyungsoo in the rustic ocean décor before Kyungsoo settled the bill, much to Baekhyun’s protests.

“Let’s just split it.”

“No, you wanted fast food. I’ve got this.”

“You always buy my food.”

“You bring me picnics. It’s only fair.”

They left the restaurant and walked toward the end of the pier, Baekhyun on a mission to get actual shots of the pier, although he kept being distracted by how hot Kyungsoo looked crouching down to get a look at a fisherman’s catch, and how sexy he looked lazily leaning over the wooden railing, staring out at a sightseeing ferry leaving the landing dock.

Baekhyun walked over to him and leaned over as well, stating very indignantly, “Stop distracting me. I’m trying to take pictures of the pier.”

“How am I distracting you?” Kyungsoo asked, looking at him with furrowed brows.

“By being hot. You’re taking away from the pier. The pier is paling in comparison to you.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and bumped his shoulder with his.

“I can go wait for you in the Jack-in-the-Box while you photograph if it helps.”

“Noo,” Baekhyun whined, and he grabbed his wrist and said, “You’re staying right here. Don’t ever leave this spot.”

“Ever?” Kyungsoo smirked.

“D.O.?” A female voice interrupted their moment, and Baekhyun looked over his shoulder as Kyungsoo pulled his wrist away and stood up straight. “Oh my God! D.O.!”

“Hi,” Kyungsoo said, offering a soft smile to the girl, and now it was Baekhyun’s turn to stand up straighter.

Who was this girl? Had this been one of Kyungsoo’s many conquests? She seemed a little young, but then again, Baekhyun looked young for his age so she could have been older.

“Oh my God,” she said again. “I love you. I’m such a big fan. Oh my God.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said to himself, realizing the situation, and he relaxed a little bit more.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said very humbly.

“She talks about you all the time,” the girl’s friend said. “I love your music too.”

“She thinks Chanyeol’s hot,” the first girl outed her.

“It’s his arms,” the other girl practically cooed.

“Can I get a picture with you?” The first girl asked, her hand shaking as she held her phone.

“I want a picture with you too,” the Chanyeol fan made sure to let him know.

Kyungsoo reached toward the first girl’s hand, steadying it before taking the phone out of it, which made the girl almost melt in the spot.

“We’ll let him take the picture,” Kyungsoo explained to her as he handed the phone to Baekhyun. “He’s a photographer. We were just taking a break from a photoshoot he was doing of me.”

“Oh my God, you’re doing a photoshoot?” The girl said, already shaken by the touch of Kyungsoo’s fingers on her hand, and now also excited by this news. “Is it for your solo album that you’re working on?”

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo said. “If I like how they come out.”

Baekhyun scoffed at that then motioned for the girl to join Kyungsoo by the pier. He watched as the girl nervously held a thumb up as a pose. Kyungsoo put his arm around her and leaned in, ever so respectfully and gave a simple close-lipped smile.

The next girl gave a hand on a hip pose that made Baekhyun laugh while Kyungsoo did the same pose he had done with the first girl again.

Once phones were returned to their rightful owners, Kyungsoo signed autographs for them on a notebook and told them to anticipate his solo album before waving goodbye to them.

“That was crazy,” Baekhyun commented. “Does that happen to you a lot?”

“We should go,” Kyungsoo said, already walking back toward the front, and Baekhyun felt a bit disoriented as he caught up with him and noticed that Kyungsoo’s defenses were back in place.

They got back into Baekhyun’s car, and just as Baekhyun was about to ask if he should drive them back home, Kyungsoo pointed ahead.

“Go that way. I know a place.”

Baekhyun couldn’t even ask if everything was okay because, from that moment on, he followed directions and made U-turns every time Kyungsoo couldn’t remember properly which street to take. But in the end, they ended up at a white house up on a hill, framed by palms and accented with the burgundy clay tiles on the roof that gave it a Mediterranean feel.

“You’ll probably want to bring your camera bag,” Kyungsoo told him, grabbing his own backpack and their takeout.

Baekhyun wondered if he was concerned about it being stolen, which seemed odd in a neighborhood like this, but he grabbed his camera bag and locked the car. He followed Kyungsoo up the cobblestone pavement and to the grand white door, which was opened by a guy who might have been around their age, maybe a little older, wearing a worn-out Ramones T-shirt and basketball shorts that looked three times his size.

“Why am I only now seeing you?” The guy said, taking Kyungsoo into an embrace as he ushered him into the house. “I hear you’re working on a solo album and you’re just now coming to visit? What’s that about?”

“I haven’t really come up with anything yet,” Kyungsoo said, a bit sheepishly. “Um, this is my friend Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is Mike.”

“Nice to meet you,” Baekhyun said, putting his hand out for a shake, and Mike took it and used it to pull him in for a hug.

“Any friend of the great D.O.’s is a friend of mine. Welcome, make yourself at home.”

“We brought some leftovers,” Kyungsoo let him know.

The two friends caught up as Baekhyun took in the interior of the house, which was just as grand as the outside, lavish but comfortable furniture filling the space. A grand view of the ocean and a pool awaited them once they had been taken to the large family room where the sliding glass doors were open letting in the refreshing Malibu ocean breeze.

“This is my dream house,” Baekhyun said, taking it in, now with a beer in his hand that their host had been so quick to provide. If his production skills were anything like his hospitality skills, then Baekhyun thought he must have been great.

“I knew you’d like it,” Kyungsoo told him, giving him a smile before nudging his shoulder with his and nodding for him to join him on the couch.

They sat down and the producer sat across from them, looking eager to get down to business.

“You have lyrics at least, right?” Mike asked Kyungsoo. “Let me read them.”

“They’re terrible,” Kyungsoo said, but he took his notebook out of his backpack and reached across the coffee table to hand it to him.

“They’re probably great,” Mike said, and he opened the notebook to read them. After a moment, he nodded and looked back at Kyungsoo, then asked him a question that Baekhyun would never have expected. “Have you shown this to Chanyeol yet?”

“Um… no,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun could feel the bristle from his tone.

“You guys still beefing?” Mike asked, almost incredulously. “Come on. These lyrics are great, and you know Chanyeol would know exactly what to do with them. You guys have always been symbiotic when it comes to music.”

“He’s off writing songs with Yixing for our next album.”

The producer snorted and said, “That’s cute. I imagine they sound nothing like Exodus.”

Kyungsoo took a sip of his beer and shrugged.

“I also imagine,” Mike continued, “That they probably sound like something that should be on your solo album.”

Kyungsoo looked out toward the view, but Baekhyun felt like lightning had struck and everything made sense.

“They do,” he said, looking at the producer, possibly too excited for the situation. But the realization of it had hit him so hard that he couldn’t help but to be excited by it. “When I first heard Kyungsoo’s voice, I thought it was so soulful.” Kyungsoo looked at him, unsure. “Chanyeol’s songs would totally fit his voice. It makes so much sense.”

Mike laughed and nodded.

“Who are you telling? I’m the main person always telling them they need to do a side R&B project.”

“I’m not…” Kyungsoo began and then he cleared his throat, “I don’t think those songs would work for my solo album.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” Mike said as he took out his phone, “I’m going to text Chanyeol and have him send me the tracks. I’ll listen to them and decide if they’d work or not.”

“I’m the one that knows what my solo album should sound like,” Kyungsoo defended. “And that’s not it.”

Baekhyun wondered if Mike was used to Kyungsoo’s emotional barricades since he had known him seemingly for a long time. For Baekhyun, seeing those defenses rise was always startling, and ultimately demoralizing.

“You do get to decide that,” Mike said, in a calm tone that made Baekhyun think that he very much was used to it and knew how to deal with them. “But you also have people around you that are more objective. Obviously you’re going to do what you want. You always do. But it doesn’t hurt to listen to them.”

“I think I’d rather not listen to anyone for my solo album,” Kyungsoo stated, his tone even, but the brattiness shining through regardless.

“So you just came by for a visit then?” Mike said with a small laugh. “You know where the studio is or the pool. Whatever you’re in the mood for. Mi casa es su casa. I left my team hanging on Overwatch.”

Kyungsoo said nothing, but Baekhyun smiled at the man as he left, thinking he was so nice and generous and deserved to be treated better than Kyungsoo was treating him.

“Why are you being like this?” Baekhyun asked him, taking his hand and squeezing it, causing Kyungsoo to look down at their hands. “He’s just trying to help.”

“I didn’t ask for help,” Kyungsoo said, tugging his hand away, but Baekhyun gripped it tighter to keep it in place.

“You’ve been acting really off since we ran into those fans at the pier. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he said tugging again, and this time Baekhyun let him.

It was too frustrating to be with Kyungsoo when he acted like this, so Baekhyun got up from the couch and decided to take in the view and the pool. He took a picture of it to send to Sehun, Joons, and Jongin, having to share the incredible sight with his friends. Up on the hill, the ocean breeze felt a bit cooler—the perfect panacea for the heat coming from the bright sun overhead.

“Minseok’s worried about the amount of time I’m spending with you,” Kyungsoo said from behind him, and Baekhyun looked over his shoulder at him.

It took a moment to process what he had said, and then Baekhyun asked, “Why?”

“Because it’s his job to be worried about things,” Kyungsoo said, his face looking a bit annoyed by this detail. “I’m not sure what those girls saw before they came up to me.”

It began to dawn on Baekhyun what this was about, and he turned to face him fully, stepping toward him to speak with him better.

“We were just taking pictures,” Baekhyun said. “And you told them it was a photoshoot. I’m sure they didn’t think anything of it. In fact, all they seemed to care about was your existence.”

“He’s concerned we spend too much time out and about together and can easily be caught doing things we shouldn’t be caught doing. So, I brought you here. I guess, maybe going forward, we should only hang out in places we can’t be seen.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, and he looked down at his feet for a moment, trying to gauge how he felt about this, but he was still too confused and caught off guard by it to really tell. “Okay. I mean, if that’s how it has to be, that’s okay.”

He looked back up at him and found Kyungsoo staring at him with what seemed to be a concerned expression. Or maybe it was an upset expression. Sometimes Baekhyun couldn’t tell what Kyungsoo was really feeling.

“It’s not okay,” Kyungsoo said after a moment. “But I don’t have many choices when it comes to this. I think this is the best compromise.”

Baekhyun let a soft smile appear on his face and he cocked his head to the side.

“Oh really? Do you like hanging out with me that much?”

“Sometimes,” Kyungsoo shrugged, not playing along.

“I’m not going incognito for sometimes,” Baekhyun teased him. “Admit it. You like hanging out with me all the time and wish you could hang out with me 24/7.”

The corner of Kyungsoo’s lips twitched and he reached out and took Baekhyun’s hand.

“Come on. Let me show you the studio.”

“Oooh the studio,” Baekhyun continued to tease, and he tried not to giggle as Kyungsoo led him back inside and down a narrow spiral staircase leading to a basement type of room that was a fully equipped recording studio. “Oh my God,” Baekhyun said as he looked over the controls and then into the sound booth. “Oh my God. This is amazing.”

“He’s one of the best, so he has all the best equipment and gear.”

“This is so… it’s like NASA. Like, dude,” Baekhyun said, sliding some of the controls up and down and then sitting in the chair to play with the mixer buttons.

“Do you know how to work this?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“No, not at all. All of my studio time was spent performing and listening to playback.”

“Same,” Kyungsoo nodded, sitting on the small couch behind the chair. “Chanyeol likes messing with all that. He’s been into producing and making music since before we started making it our thing in high school. Yixing’s really good at producing. Jongdae prefers to stick to the songwriting mostly.”

“I think producers are amazing,” Baekhyun said, swiveling the chair to face him. “I think singers are amazing too.”

“I think pianists are amazing,” Kyungsoo said, and he stood up, “Come on. I think you’ll like this.”

Baekhyun got up and followed him back up the stairs and across the open spaces of the room they had been in. The entered another large room where Baekhyun’s eyes immediately fell upon the piano that was the centerpiece of the room.

“That’s… that’s a medium grand,” he said, marching straight to it and taking it in, passing his fingers over the mahogany wood. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Did you have one?” Kyungsoo asked him, though Baekhyun had momentarily forgotten he was in the room or had even been the one to lead him there. As soon as he had seen the piano, it had only been it and him that existed.

“No. I mean, my parents couldn’t afford a medium grand. We had a baby grand that they bought used and had to have refurbished so I could play it. I only got to play a medium grand in school. If I had done my Curtis audition, it would have been on a concert grand. I had really been looking forward to that.”

“You should play.”

Baekhyun shook his head and took his fingers away, but still stared at it. He hadn’t been this close to a piano in so long, and part of him wondered if he was now terrible at it. Could he even remember the pieces he had spent so much time on? He supposed it didn’t matter. It was best to not find out.

Kyungsoo took a seat on the bench and started playing “Chopsticks,” which made Baekhyun laugh.

“You never told me you played piano,” he mused.

“You call this playing piano?” Kyungsoo asked him. “My parents made me take lessons, as parents do, but I liked singing better. I left the instruments to Chanyeol.”

“Is he good at piano?”

“He’s good at all instruments.”

“He sounds like a perfect writing partner then.”

Kyungsoo stopped playing and Baekhyun knew he had crossed a line again, but this time he felt it was necessary. He sat beside Kyungsoo on the bench, their knees and shoulders touching.

“You have to fix things with Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said, looking down at the keys in front of him and feeling both a sense of anxiousness and nostalgia. “He still cares about you, and he hasn’t quit the band yet, which is a miracle after the way you treat him. You don’t know how that feels on the other side. I know how Chanyeol feels. He doesn’t know where he went wrong, but he just wants his best friend back so you guys can make music together and have fun reminiscing about high school bonfires and your antics in your college apartment.”

Kyungsoo said nothing, which Baekhyun had anticipated, and really, he was just talking to distract himself from the situation staring right at him. He had purposely avoided pianos for so long that he almost felt like this was a test. It wasn’t the piano’s fault that his life had fallen apart around him, or gotten away from him, depending on how he looked at it. He didn’t have a goal anymore. Surely he could play without turning into an impossibly ornery person.

“I’ve never been in a situation where Sehun disapproved of someone I dated,” Baekhyun continued, allowing his fingers to graze over the white keys, cool to his touch and daring him to try and play. “He thought Kris was nice enough and was happy I had finally taken a chance on someone. I didn’t disapprove of Tao, even though he’s a bit selfish and spoiled, but Sehun really liked him, and Tao was sweet, so I was happy for Sehun. Did Chanyeol disapprove of any of your previous relationships? Did he disapprove of Luhan?”

Baekhyun didn’t really expect a response and was surprised when he got one.

“No,” Kyungsoo answered, and Baekhyun glanced over to see that Kyungsoo stared down at Baekhyun’s fingers on the keys. “He liked Luhan. He liked that we had found each other and were happy together.”

“What was his reaction at the band meeting when you told them you had let Luhan go?”

Kyungsoo didn’t even have to think, closing his eyes only for a brief second and then opening them and saying, “He was concerned. After the meeting, he followed me back to the room and asked me if I was okay. I told him I was fine then locked myself in the bathroom and cried for a long time. When I came back out, Chanyeol was still there, lying on a bed, just waiting for me. He told me he was sorry, and I told him I’d be fine, that the band was more important. I made excuses: it was just a fling anyway, it couldn’t have really have gone anywhere, I had more important things to focus on, he had been a distraction. Chanyeol hugged me and told me that it would all turn out okay.”

“He probably didn’t know what else to say,” Baekhyun reasoned.

“He didn’t. He tried to get my mind off it in the days that followed. Making sure I got out of the hotel room instead of sulking in it between shows. Taking me out to drink instead of letting me drink alone in my room until I fell asleep. Trying to get me to write songs with him…” Kyungsoo shook his head and dropped his head forward to lean it against the wooden piano.

“If Sehun was always that supportive of me, and I started dating someone that he suddenly told me I shouldn’t be dating, I think I’d listen to him.”

“You wouldn’t,” Kyungsoo said, straightening up again to look at him. “You didn’t even listen to him when he told you to take a break from playing piano and hang out with him instead.”

The thought was sobering, and Baekhyun took his fingers away from the keys, an impulsive act that he barely registered.

“I should have listened to him,” Baekhyun said, looking down and feeling his heart race. “Next time I’m going to listen to him.”

“If Sehun didn’t like the idea of you seeing me, you’d listen to him?” Kyungsoo asked, and Baekhyun looked up at him, seeing his expression change to concern at the sight of what must have been his own freaked out expression.

“He likes you. It doesn’t matter.”

“But what if he didn’t?” Kyungsoo reached out to caress Baekhyun’s cheek. “What if he thought I was bad for you instead?”

Baekhyun had too many emotions happening to him at the moment to properly answer the question. He felt his body vibrating, wanting to either run away or hide from any truths that were confronting him at the moment. It all felt too familiar.

“I need some fresh air,” Baekhyun said, and he abruptly stood and retraced his steps until he was back outside.

He walked past the pool, to a small brick ledge that separated the property from the downslope of the hill, and he sat on it and stared out at the endless Pacific Ocean, taking deep breaths and trying to hold it all together.

Memories were never kind to Baekhyun. They usually came with the anguish of not finding the right pattern, the wrong keys at the wrong times, not being good enough to be the person his mentor thought he could be. They also came with all the times Sehun looked disappointed when he said he wouldn’t hang out with him, and all the times his parents looked worried and reminded him that he needed to eat.

So he pushed them away, like he always did, and focused on all the great times Sehun and him have been having since then eating ramen, playing on the beach, discussing the many quirks of Junmyeon, and so on. And he thought about how Kyungsoo had brought him an unintentional happiness this summer. It had been so unexpected, and yet, it had given a new spark to Baekhyun’s life that he hadn’t known he’d been missing.

A spark that would now have to live within the confines of walls away from anyone’s possible notice. He frowned at the thought. Not because he hated the idea. If it were up to him, he and Kyungsoo wouldn’t even leave Kyungsoo’s apartment. Baekhyun liked the idea of spending all his time there, teasing Kyungsoo, and making out, and eating his amazing cooking.

What upset him though was that Kyungsoo had to. It was a harsh reminder that Kyungsoo’s world was very different than his, and in the big scheme of things, just as there had been no place for Luhan in his world, there wasn’t a place for Baekhyun either.


	16. Chapter 16

An orange glow woke Baekhyun from a nap he hadn’t remembered lying down for. He paused to take in his surroundings, realizing he was on a lawn chair by the pool, facing toward the low sun setting over the ocean in what seemed like a dream he didn’t care to wake up from. A small throw had been placed over his body, just enough to cover him from mid-chest to his calves.

He yawned and rubbed his eyes, remembering that he had walked over to the chair from where he had been contemplating things. He reasoned that he must have been more tired from the day’s activities than he had realized.

After standing up and stretching his arms over his head, he went back inside the house, trying to make out any sound to help him figure out where Kyungsoo or Mike might be. When he heard nothing, he decided to check the studio, and in there, he found the producer in his chair, strumming a guitar as he faced Kyungsoo who had made himself comfortable on the couch while singing the lyrics from his notebook.

“That vibe right there,” Mike said as he stopped strumming, “You got the rhythm of it. Hold that note a bit longer at the end,” he said, and he started strumming again, Kyungsoo following instructions like a perfect student.

Hearing him sing again gave Baekhyun goosebumps. The smooth, soulful tone of Kyungsoo’s voice felt like a warm blanket, one he wanted to be enveloped in right now.

“ _You are my everything, you’ll be forever, my love._ ”

Baekhyun’s heart melted, and maybe the rest of him did too. He crouched down to stay as incognito as possible, listening to Kyungsoo hold that note in a strong belt that Baekhyun felt deep in his gut. And he could see it in Kyungsoo’s expression, that he meant what he sang, that those lyrics that he had written in his notebook were sincere, and they had very much been written for a very particular person.

“I got chills,” Mike said, staring at Kyungsoo for a moment. “This is some heavy stuff you’ve written about here.”

“It’s dumb,” Kyungsoo waved off, reaching to the side of him to grab a water bottle that he took a drink from.

“Dumb, huh? Well if your dumb is this brilliant, then keep being dumb.”

“I just don’t know if I want to put these songs on my album.”

“No, you know you want to put these songs on your album. You’re just scared to put these songs on your album,” Mike told him. “But what are you more scared of? Your fans reading into them and trying to figure out if you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend? Or Luhan finally hearing the truth from your own lips?”

Baekhyun had a theory it was the latter, but he listened carefully anyway for the response, and then realized that he probably shouldn’t be listening to this private conversation, but it was too late.

“Fuck you,” Kyungsoo replied.

Baekhyun snorted and was glad Mike laughed loud enough to cover the sound. He stood up and took a few paces forward, knocking on the wall with a smile, then saying, “Hey, I found you guys. Um, thanks for the blanket? I didn’t know I was going to fall asleep like that.”

“Oh, hey,” Mike said, and Kyungsoo gave him a warm smile. “I fall asleep out there all the time. Soo knows the drill. Although he never thought to bring me a blanket before, but I won’t take it personal.”

Baekhyun knew he blushed, but it was dark enough in the studio to not be noticeable.

“Next time,” Kyungsoo told the producer.

“You guys hungry?” Mike asked as he set his guitar down. “I can grill us up some burgers. Or we can eat your leftovers. Pizza’s always an option, though there’s not a great pizza place around here that’ll deliver.”

“My leftover is a burger,” Baekhyun pointed out. “So I can just eat that.”

“There aren’t enough leftovers for the three of us,” Kyungsoo stated, standing up from the couch.

“I’ll grill up more burgers to go with your burger,” the producer said with a decisive nod, and he excused himself to go back upstairs and get the grill started.

Baekhyun stayed in his spot, assuming Kyungsoo would want to head up as well, but Kyungsoo didn’t move and instead continued to look at him.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did,” Baekhyun said with an affirmative nod.

“I’m sorry that I had upset you.”

The gentle reminder settled in Baekhyun’s chest, and only then did he remember what had led him to the pool to begin with and why he had probably felt exhausted in the first place to pass out there.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry. I had a lot on my mind.”

“But better now?” Kyungsoo cocked his head, watching him, and Baekhyun found it oddly endearing.

“Better,” he said, throwing Kyungsoo a smile and giving him a thumbs up.

“Good,” Kyungsoo said, getting up from the couch and walking toward him. He took his hand, still looking at him for a moment, then lead him back upstairs.

Their host provided them with more beers as he put on his sound system to give them some music in his patio, the fire strong on the grill as he added patties to it.

“I’ll roast up some veggies too,” he stated, before singing along to the song that played.

Baekhyun thanked him and didn’t bother to offer help since Mike had made it clear that grilling duties were his and his alone. So instead he bothered Kyungsoo, who had sat at the edge of the pool to dip his feet in, having rolled up his jeans.

“This is the kind of house you could have, you know?” Baekhyun told him, reaching down to splash the water a little, side to side, absently.

“Too much space,” Kyungsoo said. “It works for him because he works out of his home, so he’s always got people over. It’s surprising no one was here when we got here. Usually someone’s in the studio or just hanging out.”

“That sounds fun,” Baekhyun stated. He envisioned living in a house like this with Joons, Sehun, and Jongin, and having it always be inviting and full of people. “But I get it. You like your space.”

“For now,” Kyungsoo agreed, reaching down into the water as well to run his fingers over the surface in a zig-zag shape. “It was fun to have a roommate when I was younger. But now I need my space.”

“Hm, I could never afford to live alone, but I don’t think I’d like it anyway. I get sad when Joons stays at his girlfriend’s place. I usually call Sehun to come stay over when that happens.”

“That’s cute,” Kyungsoo said, and he looked at him with a smile.

“You know,” Baekhyun then said, “Junmyeon has actually been spending more time at his girlfriend’s lately. You should probably come stay the night with me instead.”

“So we can play video games and raid his vegan stash?”

“Exactly,” Baekhyun said with a loud laugh.

“Sounds like a perfect night in,” Kyungsoo acknowledged, reaching to run his wet fingertips over Baekhyun’s forearm, continuing the zig-zag patterns there. “But what if we stay here tonight, and then do your place tomorrow night?”

“Wait, you plan on staying here tonight?”

“I usually do when I’m working on music. Plus, I think you might really like waking up to this view. Yeah?”

“I… didn’t bring extra clothes,” Baekhyun said as he attempted to process this information.

“You can just wear the same thing tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t have anything to sleep in?”

“Why would you need clothes to sleep in?” Kyungsoo said with a smirk, and Baekhyun may have felt a little scandalized.

He dropped his voice so Mike didn’t hear him and said, “Are you crazy? I’m not sleeping naked in a stranger’s house.”

“I sleep naked here all the time.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop chuckling, his shoulders bouncing up and down and his eyes turning into mere slivers as he seemed quite amused by Baekhyun’s modesty.

“You can leave your T-shirt on if it bothers you that much,” Kyungsoo then said as he regained his composure, or at least most of it as his amused grin remained on his face. “Or I can go buy you some pajamas.”

“Is this a thing you do? Do you invite your one-night-stands here too?”

“No,” Kyungsoo said, and he gently threaded his fingers between Baekhyun’s. “But I do sleep here a lot when I’m recording. Or more like pass out from exhaustion. Or pass out drunk if it’s that kind of night instead.”

“So you’re really going to record something tonight?” Baekhyun asked him, a bit of excitement in his voice at the idea that he could witness it.

“Maybe. He thinks he’s got a vibe for the songs, or whatever it is that runs through his genius mind that makes him create music. It’s worth staying and see if anything comes of it.”

Baekhyun couldn’t agree more.

They enjoyed their burgers and conversation on the patio, the sound of the ocean waves faint in the distance between songs, almost as if providing a coda and da capo for each one.

Baekhyun knew why Kyungsoo enjoyed working with this producer. It wasn’t just the genius of the man. It was the location, the calming views during the day, and comforting sounds at night. He knew from his own experience that calm environments helped best with inspiration. It was the very reason he had taken up photographing the ocean in the first place.

Once the beer was finished and the breeze got a little too nippy, they headed back inside and straight down to the studio where Kyungsoo and Mike fell into a symbiotic groove. Baekhyun wondered if it was due to their many years of working together or if they had instantly clicked as musical partners.

“ _I may seem strong. I may be smiling. But there are many times when I’m alone._ ” Kyungsoo sang, and it was so hauntingly painful that Baekhyun wanted to run into the sound booth and hold him to let him know it was okay. “ _I may seem like I don’t have any worries. But I have a lot to say._ ”

It struck Baekhyun how honest the lyrics were. They were raw and to the point. Kyungsoo was not holding back. And he wasn’t holding back vocally either, pushing his voice with emotion and holding steady notes as if it was as simple as breathing.

“ _Being curious about your day, takes up all of my day._ ”

And then Baekhyun frowned, because the idea that Kyungsoo still spent this much time wondering and thinking about Luhan was sad, and especially because Baekhyun had thought he had been a pretty good distraction. And then he frowned even more at the reminder that he was a distraction. And then he shook his head to clear his thoughts because he was being ridiculous.

It’s just a fling, he reminded himself. A summer fling.

***

“So give me your honest opinion,” Kyungsoo asked him, as he took off his shirt and tossed it onto the dresser in the guestroom they were staying in. “Did the song suck?”

“No,” Baekhyun said, leaving his shirt on, but taking his shorts off and crawling into the bed. “The song’s amazing.”

“It’s not amazing,” Kyungsoo insisted. He tossed his jeans onto the dresser as well, then turned off the light.

“It is amazing,” Baekhyun reiterated, and he felt the weight of the bed shift as Kyungsoo joined him. “And the way you sang it was amazing. And I learned more about your feelings for Luhan.”

Kyungsoo fell silent for a moment, which Baekhyun expected, so he went ahead and continued his own train of thought.

“I’m jealous of him. I admit it. I want to believe that when we’re together, you’re thinking about me, but now I think you’re always still thinking of him in a way. It’s not a bad thing,” Baekhyun rambled on, his thoughts pouring out without him able to stop them, “I mean obviously you’d still think of him, but I like the idea of you thinking about me better. At least until the summer is done and you go back to…”

Kyungsoo silenced his diatribe with his lips, and Baekhyun moaned into the kiss that had come out of nowhere in the dark of the night in this stranger’s home.

“When I’m with you,” Kyungsoo said, their lips barely apart, “I think of you.”

“Okay, that works,” Baekhyun said, kissing him again and feeling Kyungsoo’s lips break into a smile against his.

“The way you get jealous so easy is amusing,” Kyungsoo said, and then he sucked on Baekhyun’s lower lip which made him moan instead of reply right away.

“I can’t help it,” he managed to say, though Kyungsoo’s hand had snuck under his T-shirt and now he barely could remember what had made him jealous in the first place.

Baekhyun lost any concern he had about spending the night in the producer’s house as they made out, kissing and touching each other wherever they could manage. Baekhyun’s shirt and underwear soon became an afterthought once they were discarded as they continued to play with each other throughout the night.

And Baekhyun very much did end up sleeping naked after all.

***

Kyungsoo had not been lying about the view. Baekhyun awoke to the greeting of the sun, streaming in through the sliding glass door, which had its curtains now drawn. He felt around then looked around for Kyungsoo, but once he was nowhere to be found, Baekhyun got up, finding his underwear first and sliding them on before noticing the incredible view of the ocean through the balcony.

“Oh my God,” he said to himself, and he fumbled to get his T-shirt on before grabbing his camera bag and pulling out his camera to take the shots through the glass door. It felt like a dream to wake up to a view this perfect, and Baekhyun didn’t want to take it for granted, so he pulled his shorts on and went outside to the balcony to get more shots. Once he’d gotten enough pictures, he leaned against the railing and took it all in.

Moments passed and he heard someone coming toward him, and then the familiar deep voice asked, “Was it worth waking up to?”

“This is incredible,” he told Kyungsoo, looking over his shoulder to see him walking toward him with a mug.

“I knew you’d like it. Here, coffee.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, taking the mug and sipping, then realizing that there was nothing better in the world than drinking coffee while taking in this view.

“Did you sleep okay?” Kyungsoo asked, holding his own mug of coffee.

“I slept perfectly.”

“Even though you were naked.”

“You did that on purpose just so you could gloat this morning,” Baekhyun called him out, giving his arm a little poke.

The mischievous grin on Kyungsoo’s face as he took another sip of his coffee may have confirmed Baekhyun’s statement.

“You’re welcome to stay up here and enjoy the view, or do whatever,” Kyungsoo stated, “But I have to get back in the studio.”

“You were in the studio already? What time is it?”

“It’s around 10,” Kyungsoo said, pulling out his phone from his jeans pocket to double check. “Mike woke my ass up at 6 because he was inspired. This is my third cup of coffee.”

“No one should be woken up at 6 on a weekend,” Baekhyun lamented. “I’m going to wash up and then figure out what part of this amazing house I want to stare at the ocean from.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Kyungsoo said, and he gave him a soft kiss before leaving him to it.

Baekhyun found a spare towel without issue and had fun with the fancy shower head that simulated rainfall over him. It’d be another thing he’d have to add to the story when he finally told his friends about his night in a crazy Malibu mansion.

As he opened the door to leave the room, he heard a lot of activity coming from the downstairs area.  He descended the stairs to investigate and realized that people were yelling at each other.

“You’re, once again, being irrational about this,” Baekhyun heard Mike say, and as he walked toward the front of the house, he realized why.

Chanyeol stood in the foyer, and Kyungsoo looked livid.

“I told you I didn’t want him involved,” Kyungsoo fought back.

“And I told you that you need to hear me out on this,” Mike said. The producer then stretched his arm out toward Chanyeol, “I had him send me those tracks last night and what I heard was your solo award-winning record-breaking album.”

“Those songs sucked,” Kyungsoo said, and as expected, he crossed his arms.

“Those songs were brilliant,” Mike said. “And you know it. The beef between the two of you can resume after the album is done, but right now, you need to do yourself a favor and let Chanyeol in on this.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo said, the frustration in his voice making Baekhyun feel a little bad for him. “This is my solo album. Mine. It’s what I have to say, not what Chanyeol has to say. It’s what I want it to sound like, not what he wants it to sound like.”

“You’re right,” Chanyeol said, holding his own arms crossed, though in a more relaxed way as he stood with his hip out. “But when was the last time you wrote and produced your own song by yourself?”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo said, with narrowed eyes, and Chanyeol sighed and looked away.

“Hey, Baek,” Mike said, “Sorry if we woke you.”

“No, I was awake,” Baekhyun said, feeling very awkward all of a sudden. “I was heading to the kitchen to find some breakfast.”

“Is he allowed to help you write a song?” Chanyeol then asked Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun froze in his spot as Chanyeol motioned in the direction of Baekhyun.

“What are you implying?” Kyungsoo said with a glare.

“I’m not implying anything. But he’s here, and you said he knows music or whatever, so I’m guessing he can help you out musically but I can’t?”

“I’m not…,” Baekhyun said, looking between them, “I’m not helping him musically.”

“He’s just keeping me company,” Kyungsoo said, almost as if daring Chanyeol to make another comment about it.

Chanyeol closed his eyes for a moment and then let out a sigh before looking back up at Kyungsoo.

“Look, I drove all the way up here. Can I just hear what you guys have recorded so far?”

Baekhyun hoped the answer was “yes,” mostly so they could all move from this awkward situation he shouldn’t have walked into in the first place. He slowly backed up in hopes he could sprint for the kitchen without being noticed.

“Just let him hear it, Soo,” Mike said. “Where’s the harm in that?”

“It’s not open for discussion,” Kyungsoo replied.

“The harm,” Chanyeol answered instead, “is that I might have a decent idea that he would have to pretend to hate.”

Baekhyun thought Chanyeol had a point.

“Why don’t you just go work on your own solo album and leave mine alone?” Kyungsoo told him, and it almost seemed like a warning.

“Who says I haven’t been?”

Silence enveloped the foyer and Mike’s eyes were wide as he looked between the two.

“Have you?” Kyungsoo challenged him. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I’ve been collecting songs for a while now. Since the middle of our tour. Back when I thought you were going to ask me to leave the band.”

Baekhyun exchanged a look with Mike, who seemed to be on a slight verge of panic.

Kyungsoo said nothing, and Chanyeol nodded at the non-reaction and continued.

“Why haven’t you kicked me out yet?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Why haven’t you just left?” Kyungsoo asked him back.

“Because we had a tour, and I had made a commitment to it.”

“That’s why I didn’t kick you out.”

“We’re not on tour now,” Chanyeol pointed out. “We technically don’t have any commitments. I’m standing right here in front of you now. Just let me know.”

Baekhyun’s heart raced so fast that he had to put his hand to his chest as he stared between the two former friends. Kyungsoo couldn’t let this end like this could he? This was too much. He wondered what Sehun would do in this situation.

Kyungsoo stared at him, but didn’t answer, and it almost seemed as if he couldn’t answer, like some invisible force kept him from being able to do so.

“I’ve told you ‘sorry’ a million times already,” Chanyeol then said, perhaps sensing an answer that neither Baekhyun nor Mike could. “But I’ll say it one last time. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had crossed a line. I was worried. You were changing a lot, and you seemed really sad, and it scared me, and I was just trying to look out for you and make sure you were okay. You had your reasons, and I didn’t understand them, but if I had known it would end our friendship, then I wouldn’t have…” Chanyeol shook his head and looked away for a moment.

Baekhyun’s heart hurt, and he looked at Kyungsoo and noticed that his glare had softened.

“Anyway,” Chanyeol said, taking a breath and looking at him, “This is really fucked up. I wish we had never gone to Korea. I wish we had stayed our asses in the O.C. and kept doing Bieber and Bruno Mars covers and done our own thing. Or maybe it wouldn’t have mattered. Maybe this side of you would have popped up eventually in that alternate reality too. Who the fuck knows?” He uncrossed his arms and passed his hand through his hair in frustration.

“She understood what I was going through,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun almost had a heart attack. Apparently so did Mike who gripped his shirt near his chest. “None of you could understand, but she understood, and at that time, all I needed was someone who understood. But, it’s come to my attention recently that you may not have understood that.”

“What you were going through?” Chanyeol said confused, “What were you going through that she understood that we didn’t? We were always there for you. Then some random girl who knew nothing about you or who you really were comes in and suddenly she understands you better than everyone else? No I didn’t understand that. How does that make any sense?”

“Because none of you could understand the pressure I was under,” Kyungsoo said with frustration in his tone. “None of you had to deal with the spotlight constantly being on you as this blog said this and that radio show said that. None of you had to fire the person you were in love with because the company thought it would hurt their investment. None of you had to hide who you really were because you were afraid that if the wrong fansite saw you being too friendly with a guy then it would kill your career. I couldn’t be me, and that was something that she understood. The fact that she didn’t know what I used to be like was actually really fucking refreshing because she didn’t look at me or treat me like someone that had changed. She just accepted me for who I was, and that’s what I needed at that time.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol nodded, running his hand through his hair again as he looked disconcerted by this, “I guess that makes sense. If you had explained that to me, then I might have tried to find you someone else that would have done that for you without ruining your reputation.”

“Maybe I wanted it ruined,” Kyungsoo said with a shrug. “Maybe I figured it’d be best to let people believe all the worst things they want about me. Maybe if I couldn’t shock them anymore, they’d back off and leave me alone.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Chanyeol said as he shook his head, “The crazier stuff you did, the more people paid attention, waiting to see what you did next. You became a caricature, and you stopped having any substance. And that’s the Kyungsoo we’re all stuck with now.”

Baekhyun couldn’t believe those words had come out of Chanyeol’s mouth, and he again exchanged looks with Mike, who looked pained that the words had been said.

Kyungsoo, however, managed to keep a poker face, though Baekhyun thought that if someone had said those words to him, he would have looked both horrified and mortified.

“Well, if it bothers you so much, then leave,” Kyungsoo told him, his voice level and steady, his eyes challenging Chanyeol.

Chanyeol nodded, looking both annoyed and resigned, “Yeah, okay. Because I think the subtext there was that I’m never getting the old you back, so okay. Me and my songs will leave the band, and I’ll go start my new R&B project that I’ve always wanted to work on. I’m not going to lie, it’ll be hard finding someone with your voice, but I guess I’ll have a lot of time to work on finding it.”

“Chanyeol,” Mike said, finally having to say something, and Baekhyun realized that he had to do something to.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said with wide eyes. “You don’t want this.”

“You don’t know what I want,” Kyungsoo said, his eyes cutting toward Baekhyun before he turned around to leave the foyer.

Baekhyun stood stunned, though he supposed he should have expected it. He should have stayed out of it, but it felt like he was watching a train wreck and needed to help however he could.

“Let me talk to him,” Mike said to Chanyeol. “Don’t leave. Just… stay here.”

“I’m leaving,” Chanyeol said.

“Baek, don’t let him leave,” Mike said as he took off in the direction that Kyungsoo had left.

But Baekhyun wasn’t in a position to stop anyone from doing anything. He once again wondered what he was even doing in this situation.

He rubbed his head and closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at Chanyeol.

“I was going to make myself breakfast, but I don’t know my way around the kitchen. Do you want to help?”

Chanyeol cleared his throat then said, “There’s a decent enough breakfast place down the hill. We can go grab a bite and see if he gets his head out of his ass by then.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Baekhyun agreed.

They took Chanyeol’s car, since he had his keys in his hands, and arrived at the breakfast place, which had a little bit of a wait. It was to be expected on a beautiful Sunday morning, and they looked over the menu while they waited and ordered right away once they were seated, both of them choosing breakfast burritos.

“Do you think he’s going to come around?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol as they waited for their server to bring them their coffees.

“No,” Chanyeol said, and he looked over at the open kitchen, the sounds of pots and pans being put to work barely registering over the animated conversations of the patrons enjoying their morning.

“Are you really going to leave the band?”

“I don’t have a choice,” Chanyeol said, looking back at him. “We can’t keep operating in this way. The other guys have already made side plans just in case. We’ve already talked about it.”

“All because of a girl…” Baekhyun said to himself. “Was she really that bad?”

“She was a hot mess,” Chanyeol explained. “Not his type at all. She was always drunk, and he started joining her more in that activity, which was just fantastic when he had to be on stage in an hour. He became more unreliable. We had to cancel photo shoots and interviews. He never missed a show though. I give him credit for that. Though he did throw up on stage once from being drunk and that was a fun night,” Chanyeol said, looking annoyed at the memory.

“Wow,” Baekhyun said. “It’s funny how that didn’t end his career, but being in love with a boy would.”

“Korea’s funny like that,” Chanyeol shrugged. “Honestly, we could have a career here. It wouldn’t be the same kind of thing, but we’d still be making music, we’d still have a following, and we’re making enough in residuals to never have to work again.”

“You should tell him that.”

“He knows. But it’s not what he wants. The problem is he doesn’t know what he wants. Once he lost Luhan…” Chanyeol sucked in his lips as if not knowing how to say what he was trying to say, and then he said, “You remind me of him. Kyungsoo definitely has a type when it comes to boys.”

Baekhyun was shocked to hear this.

“I do? Wait. He does?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Something about you reminds me of him. Maybe it’s your aura.”

“Did he have a good aura?” Baekhyun asked, trying to find answers for this weird observation he had never considered. Why had he never thought to look up anything about Luhan? Now he wanted to know everything.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said with a soft smile. “Luhan’s a really great guy, a little naïve at times, but good hearted and super talented. He loved Kyungsoo a lot, and I know it broke him to be fired by him. I mean, all the depressing songs he’s written since that moment have been about Kyungsoo, so I guess everyone knows in a way.”

“Kyungsoo’s been writing songs about him. At least the one I heard yesterday in the studio was about him. It was sad.”

“It’s good that he’s writing about him though,” Chanyeol said. Their server brought them their burritos, and Chanyeol continued. “He needs to let it all out. Maybe that would help him.”

Baekhyun took a bite out of his breakfast burrito and thought best about how to phrase the question that had been in his mind since the argument, but in the end, he just asked it in the most basic way.

“What did Kyungsoo used to be like?”

Chanyeol smiled at the question, waiting to finish chewing before answering, “I mean, he’s always been quiet. That part of him hasn’t changed. He’s always been a deep thinker, off in his own world. But he used to be very caring. The type to make you soup when you were sick or help you get your chores done so you could get outside and play quicker. My mom loved him. Always said he was the perfect son and would joke that she should have raised me better. I mean, she still loves him and still thinks he’s the perfect son.” He chuckled and took another big bite of his burrito.

Baekhyun remembered how Kyungsoo cooked for him, and how it was one of the best meals he’d ever had. He then thought back to their first time hanging out at the photoshoot, and how he’d been aloof and quiet, yet when they had eaten ramen, Kyungsoo had paid.

“I don’t think he’s changed that much then,” Baekhyun said. “Not that I know him that well, but he’s done super nice things for me and my friends that he didn’t need to do.”

Chanyeol looked at him a moment as he chewed, giving him another smile, “He does seem to be more like his old self when he’s with you. I like that you bring that out in him.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, feeling a little embarrassed, “It’s… I mean it’s just temporary anyway. Just for the summer before he finishes his album and goes back to Korea. But hopefully you guys will have worked everything out by then, and can get back to normal, and make great music and stuff.”

The rambling couldn’t be helped after the observation, and he hoped he got the topic back on the matter at hand. Unfortunately, the look on Chanyeol’s face appeared to be one of endearment.

“Did he tell you it was temporary?”

“He didn’t have to,” Baekhyun said, clearing his throat and taking a sip of his water.

“Hm,” Chanyeol said, his eyes narrowing in amusement. “Are you guys still not hooking up?”

“No, we are now,” Baekhyun said clearing his throat again, and he took a bite of his burrito to avoid rambling.

“I give you credit on making him wait,” Chanyeol said with a chuckle. “Most people don’t.”

“I’m just weird that way I guess,” Baekhyun shrugged. “He has all his one-night stands, and I just don’t do that kind of thing.”

“He didn’t used to do that kind of thing either,” Chanyeol explained, and the server came by to refill their coffees. “That started after Luhan. I figured it was his way of coping with things.”

“Or from keeping himself from getting attached to anyone so he didn’t have to go through all that again.”

“Yeah, I had that theory too until he started dating she who shall not be named. Again, why it didn’t make any sense. I’m pretty sure it was all her idea and he went along with it just to be difficult.”

“Or she really did understand him and he really did need someone like her at the time. Or thought he did.”

Chanyeol shrugged and poured cream into his new cup of coffee.

“He was already in a bad place. The last thing you want for someone in a bad place is for them to be with someone that will take them to a worse place. It’s that whole misery loves company thing.”

Baekhyun nodded, definitely knowing something about that, and he finished the last couple of bites of his burrito, feeling very full and very satisfied.

“He got himself out of it though,” Baekhyun pointed out. “He did break up with her. He told me that he had known for a while that it had been time to end it, but he didn’t want to hurt her, so he waited a bit and then did it.”

“Really?” Chanyeol said, looking surprised by this as he stirred his coffee with the bit of sugar he had added to it. “He never talked to us about it. He just moved in with Minseok one day and that was the end of it. We found out the way everyone else did, through all the articles and social media reports of the breakup. Part of me hoped it meant I was getting my best friend back, but that did not happen.”

“Yet,” Baekhyun said with a smile.

Chanyeol snorted at him and gave him a fond smile before his phone vibrated on the table. He took a glance and sighed, then waved over the server for their check.

“I’m being summoned back to the house.”

Baekhyun felt a sense of hope leap into his chest, and he finished up his coffee and insisted he split the bill with Chanyeol. They split it in half and then left the restaurant and headed back up the hill.

“He’s in the studio waiting for you,” Mike said to Chanyeol as he opened the door.

“How?” Chanyeol asked, stunned by this news as he paused in the foyer to look at Mike and make sure, “What did you say to him?”

“The truth,” Mike answered, “I told him that if he lost Luhan to save the band, then letting you leave would mean that he lost Luhan for nothing.”

It was a sobering thought and one that made Chanyeol nod and take a deep breath before heading toward the stairs down to the studio.

“Well it’s been a day,” Mike said with a small laugh to Baekhyun. “Shall we have some beers by the pool while that all hopefully gets resolved?”

“Maybe next time,” Baekhyun said with a chuckle. “I think I’m going to head home. My roommate is probably wondering what’s happened to me. But I was Kyungsoo’s ride, so I want to make sure he can get home okay.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike waved off, “I’ve gotten him home before. It was really great meeting you, Baek. Don’t be a stranger.”

“You too. Thanks for everything,” he told him.

After he collected his camera bag from the room, he promised Mike he’d hang out again, and then left, heading down to the PCH and trying to figure out how he was going to explain all of this to Sehun and Junmyeon.


	17. Chapter 17

One day of not hearing from Kyungsoo was one thing, and the brief text exchange between them didn’t really count.

_Hey, haven’t heard from you._

_Still recording._

But two days was starting to drive Baekhyun a little crazy. So much so that he had had decided to do one thing he should have done a long time ago, and one thing he shouldn’t have done at all.

He had started going through Exodus’ discography, and even though it wasn’t the kind of music he was into, he could very much hear what made it unique and great for its genre. They weren’t a rock band that relied on straight guitar riffs for their sound. They were atmospheric, and their songs were haunting, with a little bit of cockiness and brattiness thrown in for good measure.

When Baekhyun’s playlist got to “Hurt” for the first time, he was shocked by how different it was from the bonfire version Kyungsoo had serenaded them with. He wished he had been familiar with it at the show so he could see it performed, and as he listened to the melody, he realized that he did remember it from the show and had thought that it had a pretty good hook. Now, after five straight listens, he was obsessed with the song.

Baekhyun looked up the English translation for the lyrics and found that it was one that was credited to Luhan and Yixing. And once he read the lyrics, he put the pieces together and realized that this was a song that Luhan had written after his and Kyungsoo’s relationship had ended.

“Did you know that Luhan kept writing songs for Exodus after the break up?” Baekhyun said to Sehun, who had joined him in his bedroom to hang out that night.

“You’re talking about ‘Hurt’ aren’t you?” Sehun said with a smirk as he sat on Baekhyun’s bed, legs tucked under the other as he typed away on his laptop on an article for the zine. “That was the first and only song he wrote for Exodus after the breakup. And it was very much for Kyungsoo. Yixing said that Luhan didn’t say anything to Kyungsoo after he got let go, so it was his way of saying what he wanted to say.”

Baekhyun frowned as he looked over the lyrics again.

_The sound of the rain mixed with tears_  
_The sound of your breath in my ears_  
_You hurt me_  
_You hurt me_  
_Forever in my head you are living_  
_In my eyes, I see the transparent you and me_

“That is so depressing,” Baekhyun said, and he played it again to listen to how Kyungsoo sang it, and thought it was more depressing as he belted the words out, feeling the pain of the words, or maybe reacting to them with his own pain at knowing how he had made Luhan feel.

And then Baekhyun did the one thing he shouldn’t have.

“You know, Chanyeol said I reminded him of Luhan and that Kyungsoo seems to have a boy type,” he stated as he finally Googled pictures of Luhan, and then he really wished he hadn’t.

“I…” Sehun began and then he must have seen Baekhyun’s computer screen because he then said, “Yeah, there’s a slight resemblance…”

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun said, staring at the doe-eyed boy on his screen. The prettiest doe-eyed boy ever to be exact. “He’s so pretty. What the hell? There’s no resemblance.”

“It’s slight,” Sehun insisted. “But it’s there. He’s more pretty, and you’re more cute, but the concept is the same.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, but I’m right,” Sehun said. “Baek, just ‘x’ out of it. You’re going to obsess over this.”

It was good advice in theory, but instead he kept clicking picture after picture, going down a rabbit hole of pictures of Luhan until he found a paparazzi shot of him and Kyungsoo together at the airport.

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun said again, “They were so pretty together.”

“What is the point of this exercise?” Sehun said, throwing a balled up piece of paper at him. “Close out now.”

Baekhyun sighed and closed the screen, the damage already done anyway. He wouldn’t be able to get those images out of his mind, especially the one of them in the airport together. He lay down on his bed on his stomach and grabbed one of his pillows to bury his face in it.

“Nothing makes sense,” Baekhyun whined into it, his voice quite muffled.

“Everything makes sense,” Sehun said, running his hand over his back to comfort him before returning to his typing. “That was Kyungsoo’s past, but you’re Kyungsoo’s present.”

“Temporary present,” Baekhyun reminded him, turning his face to look toward Sehun.

“Yeah, genius, that’s the literal point of the present. It’s temporary. That’s why it’s called living in the moment.”

Baekhyun let out a frustrated noise, more of a whine, because he knew Sehun was right.

“Speaking of present situations,” Sehun then said, “Is it just me, or has Joons been acting weird since the bonfire?”

“How so?” Baekhyun asked, propping his head up with his hand as he paid attention.

“Like, spending a lot more time at his girlfriend’s? And not coming to the beach. And never being here when I come over anymore. Did I do something to him?”

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun said, sucking on his bottom lip as he thought back to that night. He had seen the shift, but he didn’t know what to make of it. “If he ever comes home again, I’ll ask him what the deal is.”

“No, don’t,” Sehun said, “It’s probably nothing. I just didn’t think he liked his girlfriend that much.”

Baekhyun laughed, and said, “If he didn’t like her, why would he be with her?”

“Because he was lonely and desperate? Who knows?”

“We need to get you someone. Your own summer fling. Maybe there’s another member of Exodus that’s into guys.”

“No, there isn’t. I asked Yixing.”

“What are these conversations you keep having with Yixing?” Baekhyun said laughing again.

“He didn’t have anything to do on Sunday after Chanyeol left him hanging, so he texted me and asked if he could come to the beach to watch me practice. Or more like make sure I didn’t drown. He’s so concerned all the time.”

“I like that about him,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “So what else did you guys talk about?

“Nope. You’re fishing for information,” Sehun said with a firm shake of the head. “Stop obsessing over Kyungsoo’s past and enjoy your summer with him.”

“If he’s going to talk to me again. It’s been two days, and he wasn’t happy with me again when we last spoke.”

“He was upset because you butted in, which I’m proud of you for. We can’t let Exodus die.”

Baekhyun kicked at his leg, and said, “You didn’t even care this much about Exodus before all this happened.”

“I liked their music. I really hate my job for not letting me go that night. It would have been my first time seeing them live, and I would have hooked up with Kyungsoo in his hotel room, and you wouldn’t be crying over him. Ah, the summer that could have been.”

“Probably the summer that should have been,” Baekhyun sighed.

“The summer where I would have won my first surfing competition.”

“Hey,” Baekhyun said reaching his hand out to slap at Sehun’s arm. “That’s still happening this summer. You can still qualify for the U.S. Open.”

“I’m working on it,” Sehun sighed, and he typed a few last things then gave his laptop to Baekhyun to read over his article to make sure it was okay.

When Sehun left later that night, Baekhyun decided to try his luck again and texted Kyungsoo. He had too many thoughts on his mind to fall into sleep easily, so instead he played PUBG on his phone and waited for any sort of reply.

He finally fell asleep never receiving one.

***

 _Every night I fall asleep to you_  
_A beautiful tune gets played_  
_In my dreams, you and me_  
_I close my eyes and follow_  
_The shadow in the darkness_

“Sooo,” Junmyeon said, between bites of his poke bowl, “I see you’ve replaced Kendrick with Exodus. And it appears to be only one song?”

“Nooo,” Baekhyun whined, shoveling more of his into his mouth before elaborating.

He had been starving after work, not able to take a lunch because of how busy of a day it had been, so he had let Junmyeon know that he was going to pick up dinner and asked him if he had wanted any. They had both decided they were in the mood for poke, and Baekhyun had brought home a spicy tuna bowl for himself and a tofu one for his roommate.

“I’m just doing research,” Baekhyun explained. “Also, I think I really love this song. Even though it was essentially Luhan’s ‘screw you’ song to Kyungsoo, but still.”

“It is a good song. I think if I listened to K-rock, I’d like Exodus.”

“It is more up your alley than mine. But Kyungsoo’s solo album,” Baekhyun said with a big smile, “That one’s going to be up my alley. I can’t wait to hear it.”

“I still can’t believe you saved Exodus,” Junmyeon said with an amused shake of the head.

“I did it for Sehun,” Baekhyun said with a big laugh, and then used it as the perfect segue, “Speaking of, Sehun thinks you’re avoiding him. Are you?”

Junmyeon’s eyes grew large as he looked up at him while still chewing his food, looking very much like a surprised bunny rabbit.

“No,” he then said, but his eyes were still in a state of being caught.

“You’ve been acting weird around him since the bonfire.”

Junmyeon sighed and put his chopsticks down, taking a sip of his iced tea.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun told him. “I know something changed that night. Maybe it’s something that you need to think about further, or maybe not at all if it’s easier.”

“Nothing changed that night,” Junmyeon said, looking toward him, but his eyes averted his gaze.

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, and he returned to eating his food, not pressing the matter further knowing that Junmyeon wasn’t handling or processing whatever it was that well.

His phone lit up, and Baekhyun reached so fast for it that he dropped a chopstick in the process.

_Three songs recorded. I want you to hear them. Can you come up to the Malibu house Friday night?_

_YES! OMG I’M SO EXCITED!_

_Bring Sehun too. Don’t be jealous. Just thought he’d like to hear them too._

_I’LL BRING HIM HE’S GOING TO DIE!_

_Why are you like this? Why do I miss you because of this?_

Baekhyun’s heart soared. He missed him!

_BECAUSE YOU NEED ME IN YOUR LIIIIIIIFFFFEEEE!_

_I do. See you Friday._

“That has to be Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon said with a soft smile toward him. “You’re like a one thousand megawatt lamp right now.”

“Read!” Baekhyun said, shoving his phone in Junmyeon’s face.

“Wow,” Junmyeon said, nodding to let him know he could take his precious phone back to re-read to his heart’s content.

“He said he misses me. He said he neeeeeds me,” Baekhyun cooed, hugging the phone to his chest.

“I can’t wait to hear your full report whenever you get back. I’ll expect a track-by-track analysis.”

“You’ll have it,” he assured him.

His roommate chuckled at him, and they finished up their poke bowls. Baekhyun headed to his room after to re-read the text and listen to “Hurt” a million times more before bed.

***

Sehun napped in the car the entire two hours it took them to get up to Malibu, no thanks to the Friday night traffic. Baekhyun was glad that he was getting the nap in, knowing that Sehun had gotten up extra early to hit the waves since he wouldn’t get to after work.

“Are we here?” Sehun asked as he blinked his eyes open once Baekhyun had parked.

“We’re here. Are you prepared to have your mind blown by the most amazing house you’ll ever step foot in?”

“I have to pee,” Sehun said instead. He yawned and stretched his long arm forward.

Baekhyun chuckled and got out of the car, grabbing his camera bag just in case, and barely getting to the door with Sehun before it opened.

“Finally,” Kyungsoo said, giving him a smile and soft kiss in greeting. He then took his hand to lead him inside. “Hey,” he told Sehun once the door was closed behind them.

“Hey,” Sehun said with a small wave.

“He has to pee,” Baekhyun stated.

“Hey!” Mike said, coming around the corner into the foyer. “Oh hey,” he then said again when he saw Sehun, then he turned to Kyungsoo and told him, “You’re right, I would consider going gay for him.”

“What?” Baekhyun said, that little tinge of jealousy creeping up again.

“I’m single,” Sehun pointed out, making Mike laugh.

“He needs to pee,” Baekhyun stated again with a small pout, and Kyungsoo laughed at him.

Mike pointed out the bathroom for Sehun as they waited for him in the foyer, Kyungsoo wrapping his pinky around Baekhyun’s with an amused grin.

“I also could turn anyone gay, just saying,” Baekhyun said, with a little “hmph” noise right after.

“I’ve missed you,” Kyungsoo said, the statement being reiterated verbally causing a little tingle of excitement to go up Baekhyun’s spine.

“I missed you too,” Baekhyun admitted. “I was really sad that you weren’t texting me or anything.”

“I get in a zone when I’m recording,” Kyungsoo explained. “It’s another world for me. My real world, I guess.”

Baekhyun nodded in complete understanding.

“I used to be that way when I would play,” Baekhyun said, and he gave him a supportive smile.

Sehun rejoined them and Mike led them down to the studio, where Baekhyun was ecstatic to find Chanyeol with headphones on at the controls, bopping his head to a slow rhythm.

“Chanyeol!” Sehun said, and it was loud enough that Chanyeol paused and looked behind him.

“Hey!” Chanyeol said, taking the headphones off and getting up to give Sehun a proper hug.

“Even Chanyeol would go gay for him,” Mike joked, and Baekhyun gave him a dirty look, though a playful one, which made both Mike and Kyungsoo laugh.

Kyungsoo then wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, as if the full arm squeeze would make him feel better and less jealous. Okay, maybe it did work, but still.

“So, are you guys friends again?” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo.

“I… wouldn’t say that,” Kyungsoo said letting go of him and instead putting his hands on Baekhyun’s hips to nudge him further into the studio. “But we’ve reached an understanding. I guess like a truce while we work on my album.”

“A truce is a step in the right direction,” Baekhyun acknowledged before taking a seat on the couch next to Sehun who had already sat.

Kyungsoo sat on the other side of Baekhyun, legs touching as he leaned toward him.

“Okay, so it’s three songs,” Chanyeol said, “Just give your honest opinions.”

“Got it!” Baekhyun said with a thumbs up.

“They’re the greatest songs I’ve ever heard,” Sehun stated.

“We’re keeping him,” Mike said with a laugh.

Chanyeol chuckled then started the first song. It was the first song that Baekhyun had walked in on Kyungsoo and Mike working on, and the song remained a sad, love-lost ballad, with just enough of a groove behind it to give it a small glimmer of hope within the melancholy.

“Wow, that was beautiful,” Baekhyun stated.

“It made me sad,” Sehun said with a small pout. “I really felt that. It’s so great.”

“We’re one for one,” the producer said, “Next.”

Chanyeol played the next song, a more up-tempo song, with a dreamy feel that made Baekhyun imagine himself on a cliff in the fog. The lyrics also spoke of loss, but more about how great things had led up to it, which made the feeling of loss worse.

“I loved that!” Sehun said. “I felt like I was in a different world.”

“How did you do that?” Baekhyun asked. “That really felt… that was amazing.”

“That was his genius actually,” Chanyeol said, nodding toward Mike, “I just helped with the beat on that one.”

“Team effort,” Mike stated.

The third song was a mid-tempo that highlighted Kyungsoo’s urban vocal tone in its entirety. Baekhyun was pretty sure he was going to melt into the couch as visions of melted chocolate being poured danced in his mind. The lyrics were sad, but the song felt hopeful, and the balance between the two melodically created a sonic experience that was so pleasing that Baekhyun never wanted the song to end.

“I’m going to marry that song,” Sehun said.

“I just…” Baekhyun shook his head. “You guys are amazing.”

“It’s not like Exodus at all,” Sehun pointed out, sitting up straighter as he spoke, “But it’s very Kyungsoo. His voice is the feature. You expect your drums or Yixing’s guitars to come in because of it, but they never do, and instead Kyungsoo’s voice builds and becomes all that without it being all that.”

“That’s a perfect description,” Mike said pointing at him.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said, so softly that Baekhyun had to look over to make sure he had said it. He looked embarrassed and quite humbled.

“That’s good because I’m trying to make sure the songs highlight his vocal range,” Chanyeol explained. “With Exodus, he gets to use it a lot but in a different way. We’re pushing his voice in other directions here.”

“It’s working,” Baekhyun told him.

“I’m so in love with all the songs,” Sehun affirmed.

“Well,” the producer said, “You know how it goes from here. The first songs are pure inspiration. Now we struggle to fill an album.”

“We can do it,” Chanyeol said, “I’m not concerned.”

“Do we have more lyrics?” Mike then asked Kyungsoo.

“They all read the same,” Kyungsoo said.

“Try switching topics,” Mike told him. “You keep wanting to write about the same person, but that’s not the only thing that’s happened to you these past few years. Write about how tired you are of the media. Write about how much you love the spotlight but hate everything that comes with it. Write about the shit with your ex-girlfriend. That’s who people are going to think this album is about anyway.”

“Write about Sehun,” Baekhyun volunteered. “He seems to inspire you.” He didn’t say it bitterly at all, and was glad when everyone laughed at his joke.

“I’m going to write about Sehun,” Kyungsoo said with a smirk. “His long legs, riding on his surfboard.”

“Oh my God,” Sehun said, cracking up as he planted his face in his hands.

Chanyeol cackled and hit his knee as he laughed, which made Baekhyun laugh even louder.

They moved the party upstairs to the entertainment den where Baekhyun joined the producer on his Xbox, battling him in Black Ops and trying his best to not show off, but the competitive spirit within him made that nearly impossible.

“Man, how did you get all those kills?” Mike asked as he switched weapons.

“Baek works at a video game company,” Sehun let him know as he took a shot on the pool table. “He’s obsessed with gaming.” Chanyeol raised a fist when Sehun missed and leaned over the table to take his turn.

“I’m not obsessed,” Baekhyun clarified, as he too switched weapons to take out a player that had been in hiding.

“You work at a video game company? Maaaan,” Mike said shaking his head. “I’m about to get my ass beat.”

Kyungsoo hadn’t joined them in their fun and games, explaining that he needed some alone time to try and work on more lyrics. They gave him his space, and when Chanyeol had embarrassed Sehun enough at the pool table and Baekhyun had given Mike more than enough reasons to curse, Baekhyun decided to call it a night.

“You must be really tired,” Baekhyun said to Sehun, watching his best friend yawn as he put his stick back on the wall mount.

“I’m really crashing,” Sehun nodded, and then he looked at Chanyeol and Mike and said, “Sorry, I was up really early to get some practice time in. I’ll be more alert tomorrow.”

“Is that an excuse for your poor pool playing?” Chanyeol teased him.

“No, he’s genuinely bad at pool,” Baekhyun confirmed.

Sehun protested with a playful smack to Baekhyun’s arm before yawning again.

Baekhyun had sort of assumed that he and Sehun would be sharing a guest room, but when Sehun was shown to his room, Mike gave him instructions to Baekhyun’s room, which Baekhyun then realized was the room he had stayed in with Kyungsoo.

When he walked in, he found Kyungsoo in bed already, sitting up against the headboard and staring at his notebook. He wore black-rimmed glasses that made him look young and like a student in college that Baekhyun would have had the biggest crush on.

“Bedtime?” Kyungsoo asked when he looked up at him.

“Have you been in here the whole time?” Baekhyun asked instead of responding, putting his bag down on the dresser. “I figured you were out by the pool or something.”

“I tried that but kept getting distracted, so I came in here.”

“Write anything?” Baekhyun asked, sliding onto the bed from the other side.

“Not really,” Kyungsoo said, looking a bit disconcerted before shaking his head and placing his notebook and pen on the nightstand.

“You’re overthinking it,” Baekhyun told him, scooting to sit right beside him so he could lean his head on his shoulder and run his hand over the soft fabric of Kyungsoo’s T-shirt, just below his chest. “This is stupid, but I missed you. I spent this week listening to you sing and looking up pictures of you online because I missed you that much. I guess this now makes me a fan.”

“Finally,” Kyungsoo said, running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, “All I wanted was to make you a fan. Now I can move on to the next cute guy who’s not a fan at our next show.”

“Your evil plot to seduce us all will be successful.”

Kyungsoo dropped a kiss on Baekhyun’s head, then let his hand slide down to Baekhyun’s shoulder, letting lazy fingers run along it.

“I missed you too. I find that I really like having you around.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Baekhyun joked, sliding his hand under Kyungsoo’s T-shirt to caress the warm skin of his stomach that seemed to have been waiting for his touch. “Sehun calls it my Baekhyun magic.”

“Sehun is a wise man.”

“Sometimes,” Baekhyun teased.

Kyungsoo smiled and shifted so he could run his fingers over Baekhyun’s cheek and jaw, and then he leaned in to kiss him, which Baekhyun had been very much ready for.

If their words hadn’t conveyed how much each had felt about missing the other, their kisses and touches made it clear, at least in Baekhyun’s mind as he deepened kisses and touches and wanted to taste every bit of him possible to make up for not being able to be with him the last few days.

As he lay in Kyungsoo’s arms that night, he couldn’t help the lyrics of “Hurt” from coming into his mind again. But he reminded himself that he wouldn’t feel the same when this all came to an end, after all, Luhan had no idea it was coming, but Baekhyun very much knew the end would come sooner than he wanted. He wrapped his arms even tighter around Kyungsoo’s body, wanting to hold onto him for as long as he could.


	18. Chapter 18

Baekhyun felt a sense of peace and pure happiness as he sat on a pier with Chanyeol, watching Sehun catch decent enough waves in the cove. Or more like, he was watching Sehun when he wasn’t peeking over at Kyungsoo who sat on the beach instead, scribbling into his notebook.

Baekhyun had mentioned during breakfast that Kyungsoo had seemed inspired to write by the beach, and Mike had suggested hitting up Paradise Cove, which was privately owned and could afford them a little bit of privacy.

What the producer had failed to mention was that it also had a pier, and Baekhyun had lit up at the sight of it and ran the length before taking photographs. Now that he was calmer, he sat beside Chanyeol and enjoyed the view or views, his attention divided between his best friend and the struggling songwriter.  

“So?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol as he took a shot of Sehun through the white-washed wooden slats of the pier. “I hear there’s a truce?”

Chanyeol snorted, extending his long legs out in front of him.

“Is that what he called it?” Chanyeol asked.

“What happened? When you guys talked?”

“We barely even talked. He said we’d see how it goes. I tried to ask him if we could talk things out, but he was adamant that we focus on the work. So we’ve been working. He’s been patient and hasn’t lashed out, so…” Chanyeol shook his head, a bit amused, “I’ve known Kyungsoo his whole life, and I still never really know what’s going on inside his head.”

“So you don’t think he’s forgiven you?”

“He definitely hasn’t. But we’ve gotten three great songs so far. Maybe if I give him at least seven more, he’ll consider it.”

“He should write a song about you,” Baekhyun said with a smirk. “That’s the real breakup in his life.”

“Is it?” Chanyeol asked, even more amused as his lips almost turned into a smile. “I’d kind of like it if he just told me off and got it over with in a song. Then we could move on.”

Baekhyun thought that would make for a good song, but Kyungsoo seemed intent on only writing about Luhan. Even though the producer had told him that it wasn’t the only thing that happened to him in the past, Baekhyun had a feeling that Kyungsoo thought that everything that had happened since then was still tied to Luhan in a way.

He turned his focus to Kyungsoo and watched as Kyungsoo now wrote nothing and instead stared out at the ocean—his mind probably on what else he wanted to tell his long lost love.

“You really like him don’t you?” He heard Chanyeol ask him, and he looked back at Chanyeol surprised.

“Oh…” he said, and then shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. It’s just temporary.”

“You keep mentioning that,” Chanyeol said, his eyes narrowing a tiny bit, as if trying to figure something out.

“It’s a summer fling,” Baekhyun stated with a soft smile to make sure that Chanyeol understood it didn’t upset him. Because it really didn’t.

Chanyeol appeared to consider him, then said, “I really loved Kyungsoo and Luhan together. I had never seen anyone capture Kyungsoo’s imagination like that. He made him happier than I had ever seen him. Like, we write songs about things like that, and people make movies about it, but I had never seen it until then. It’s a real thing. It can happen.”

“I saw a picture of them at the airport,” Baekhyun said, feeling a little sad at Chanyeol’s comment. “They were so pretty together. Luhan’s really pretty.”

“Kyungsoo used to say that all the time,” Chanyeol said with a laugh. “He’d randomly ask us, like if Luhan walked by or something, ‘Isn’t he the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen?’ and I’d be like, ‘You are so sprung.’ But honestly, they were into each other the moment they saw each other. Kyungsoo’s the type to know what he likes immediately. He’s very specific that way.”

Like how he had wanted Baekhyun the moment he saw him. Or so he claimed. He smiled a bit shyly to himself and looked at the water noticing the little ripples left behind by seagulls attempting to scoop up a quick lunch.

Chanyeol’s cell phone rang, and Baekhyun looked back toward Kyungsoo who had returned to writing in his notebook again. And while he wasn’t paying attention to Chanyeol’s phone conversation, he could tell that he was speaking to Yixing and kept saying “yeah” and “makes sense.”

As Chanyeol hung up, Baekhyun noticed Kyungsoo get up from his spot on the beach, dust off the back of his jeans, and make his way toward the pier.

“Was that Yixing?” Baekhyun asked with a smile. “You should have invited him to join us.”

“He was calling for an update. I told him the solo album is happening, so he’s going to make arrangements to fly home for a bit since that means we won’t be working on stuff together for the time being.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, a slight frown forming. “I mean, I guess that makes sense. I’ll miss him.”

“He’ll be back,” Chanyeol assured him with a warm smile. “He told me to make sure and let Sehun know he’ll be back for his competition.”

Baekhyun’s frown disappeared and a very happy chuckle replaced it as he said, “Oh, good!”

Once Kyungsoo reached them, he stood in front of them and held his notebook in both hands, looking a bit unsure, then passed it to Chanyeol.

“Want to sit?” Baekhyun asked, scooting to make room for him beside the wooden side of the pier.

Kyungsoo answered by simply sitting beside him and leaning his head against the side of the wood railing, closing his eyes. Baekhyun couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and gently push some strands of Kyungsoo’s hair back from where they had fallen in front of his eyes.

“This is still about Luhan,” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun pulled his hand away as Kyungsoo groaned and sat up straighter, giving a glare to Chanyeol.

“It’s my album,” Kyungsoo said, his tone challenging.

“I was just pointing out that the assignment was to write about something else, but this is cool. It still feels lyrically the same as the others, but maybe we can do something musically different with it.”

Baekhyun had to give Chanyeol all the credit in the world for his patience.

“You’re saying it’s shit,” Kyungsoo interpreted for himself.

“No. I’m saying it’s not too different than what you already did, which was good already.”

Kyungsoo reached to snatch the notebook out of Chanyeol’s hand, but Baekhyun grabbed it first, being too nosy to not read it and also wanting to interrupt Kyungsoo’s aggravated mood.

_Remember when things were hard_  
_I always turned your tears into smiles_  
_Don’t cry in places without me, don’t cry_  
_Because you always had a lot of tears_

“I…” Baekhyun began, not sure how to ask the thought in his head, but he looked between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, the former looking curious, the latter looking caught off guard, “Why were things hard? What was Luhan always crying about? I thought everything was great between you guys until that one bad day where it ended.”

“It’s personal,” Kyungsoo said, snatching the notebook out of Baekhyun’s hands.

“Not so personal that you’d share it with the world in your album, but too personal to share with your summer fling?” Chanyeol asked, raising an eyebrow to challenge him right back.

Baekhyun didn’t know what made him feel worse: having the notebook snatched from him by Kyungsoo or being referred to as a summer fling by Chanyeol. Even though he was. But still. He didn’t have to say it like that.

“I’m going to go check up on Sehun,” Baekhyun said, feeling a little numb as he pushed himself up from the floor.

“I didn’t mean…” Kyungsoo said to him, throwing a glare at Chanyeol before looking back at Baekhyun, who had bent down to grab his camera. “I can tell you about it later,” Kyungsoo said, reaching out to hold Baekhyun’s wrist.

“You don’t have to,” Baekhyun let him know, and he pulled his wrist away and walked as quick as he could to the end of the pier, trying to stay calm and not turn into some sort of emotional mess over something that wasn’t supposed to mean anything anyway.

He took his flip flops off and walked in the sand, sitting almost exactly in the spot that Kyungsoo had vacated earlier. Sehun appeared to have spotted him while sitting out on his board, and he paddled back in, perhaps sensing that something had gone awry. Baekhyun wished his best friend wasn’t so intuitive at times.

“Why do I get the sense we’re heading home?” Sehun asked once he reached him.

“Remind me again of what exactly I’m doing with Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun lamented, letting out a big sigh and training his lens on his feet in the sand.

“Having fun?”

“It’s not feeling like fun anymore,” Baekhyun said, although it wasn’t entirely true. It just wasn’t fun right then at that moment. “Or, I guess, it’s fun, until reality peeks into it, and then it’s not fun at all.”

“Maybe if reality is peeking in too much, then it’s time to end it,” Sehun said, and Baekhyun looked at him surprised.

“You’re the main person that wanted this to happen,” Baekhyun reminded him.

“Not if it makes you pouty and stuff,” Sehun said. “Also, Kyungsoo is dumb.”

Baekhyun felt a bit off center by these words coming from Sehun’s mouth.

“Now he’s dumb?” Baekhyun asked, just to make sure.

“Yes, he’s dumb. He’s been hanging out with you long enough to have forgotten all about Luhan and fall for you instead. So he’s dumb for still being in love with Luhan.”

Baekhyun had to let out a snort and small laugh at that.

“You’re insane,” Baekhyun let his best friend know. “First of all, he and Luhan have a lot of unfinished business, and he definitely has a lot he needs to let him know with this album. Second of all, even if he wanted to fall for me, he can’t. So there’s no point in entertaining that idea.”

“I guess, but if it’s no longer fun for you, then I think you should let it go. Then we can both be on the market and start hitting up some cool places to find new boyfriends. I think we’re both overdue for new boyfriends.”

“I am on the market?”

“Cool, then let’s go tonight. Tao told me about this new…”

“Wait wait wait,” Baekhyun said waving his hands and trying not to laugh. “You’re going to find a new boyfriend at a place your ex-boyfriend recommended?”

“Tao has good taste,” Sehun pointed out as if he didn’t see the irony of the situation. Though knowing Sehun, he might not have.

Baekhyun noticed then that both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were walking off the pier and toward them.

“I guess, I’ll let them know we want to leave soon,” Baekhyun said, getting up to try and get a better handle on whatever he was feeling right then, though he honestly had no idea.

“Should I accidentally hit him with my board?”

“Stop,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh as he shoved Sehun’s arm.

“I called Mike to let him know we’re ready to be picked up,” Chanyeol informed them. “We’re going back to the studio to work on this song.”

“Great,” Baekhyun said, “Sehun and I will pack our things up when we get back and head home. We’ll leave you guys to it.”

“No, why?” Kyungsoo said, his thick eyebrows furrowing, “I was hoping you’d stay at least through Sunday.”

Why? Because Baekhyun didn’t feel like being a summer fling this weekend. That’s why.

“You get into a zone when you’re recording,” Baekhyun said instead. “We’d just be in the way.”

Chanyeol cleared his throat and pointed toward Sehun’s surfboard. “Need help with that?” He asked him. “Why don’t we head up with your gear?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” Sehun said, and Baekhyun looked at him betrayed. He didn’t need alone time with Kyungsoo. Or whatever this was supposed to be.

“I’m really sorry about how I acted on the pier,” Kyungsoo said, once Chanyeol and Sehun were a good distance away. “I’m just stressed.”

“You’re always stressed,” Baekhyun pointed out, crossing his arms. “You know, you lash out at people when you’re stressed, which is rude. You shouldn’t take out your issues on others, and honestly, I’m tired of you doing it to me. As soon as I say one thing that upsets you, you snap at me.”

“I didn’t know you were going to grab my notebook,” Kyungsoo tried to defend.

“So what if I did? It’s not like I haven’t heard you already singing about Luhan. I know how you feel about him. What difference does it make if I read all over again about how you feel? I mean, you are after all going to share it with the world. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I’m just your summer fling. Does your summer fling get anything from you, or is it just one-sided? You use me whenever you want to escape or get off, then snap at me when I’m in the way or don’t call me for days when you’re perfectly happy and don’t need me.”

“You’re the one that said you thought this should be a temporary summer thing. I never said that,” Kyungsoo, ever so calmly, pointed out.

“Because what else could it be?” Baekhyun asked, exasperated, but somehow remaining calm enough to stare at him and wait for an answer.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said, staring him in the eyes, “But you asked if you get anything from me, and my answer is that you set the terms for this, so I’ve been giving you what you want.”

Baekhyun stared back at him stunned. He supposed he couldn’t argue with that, but still, that had been such a manipulative answer that all Baekhyun wanted to do was kick sand at him.

So instead he walked away from him and headed up the path that Chanyeol and Sehun had taken. Okay, so he had set himself up for this. It had been a bad decision from the beginning and now he was mad at himself for ever becoming interested in Kyungsoo Do in the first place. Why hadn’t he stuck to his initial gut feeling of staying away from him? Everything was so frustrating.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sehun asked him when he saw him approach the sidewalk.

“I will be when I’m home.”

He didn’t say anything else, and even though Kyungsoo tried to talk to him again at the car, and in the car on the ride back to Mike’s house, Baekhyun stayed quiet and in his own thoughts, ignoring everything and everyone around him.

When they got to Mike’s house, Baekhyun headed straight to their room and collected his things, shoving them into his duffel bag.

“Tell me why you’re upset,” Kyungsoo asked him, standing casually by the bed as he watched him.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said, and he took a deep breath and looked around to make sure he hadn’t left anything.

“Then stay.”

“For what?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him, feeling a frustration inside that he couldn’t explain. Nothing made sense to him at the moment.

“Because we like being in each other’s company. Right?”

It occurred to Baekhyun at that moment what was bothering him. He was becoming too invested in Kyungsoo. Yes, he liked his company very much. Too much. He craved it. He needed it. He had almost considered skipping work altogether on Friday just to get up to Malibu quicker.

It was his piano playing, and Kris, and all his other weird obsessive relationships with things and people all over again. Maybe not to that extreme, yet, but he felt it slowly getting there. He could tell by how upset he got over little things, like not being called and reminders of their time left.

“No?” Kyungsoo asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I’m going to take a nap before I leave,” Baekhyun said instead, feeling too emotionally exhausted by all that happened that day to even answer Kyungsoo’s simple question. “You should go work on your song.”

Kyungsoo didn’t look pleased by this answer, but he walked to the door anyway, then looked back and said, “Just don’t leave,” before closing the door behind him so Baekhyun could be alone.

_Just don’t leave._

It was exactly what Baekhyun knew he’d be saying back to Kyungsoo when the summer ended. And he couldn’t allow himself to. He couldn’t get to the point where he’d say it. Maybe he needed to seriously consider finding a new boyfriend. Maybe he needed to try a relationship again with someone, but this time applying everything he had learned from all his mistakes with Kris so that he could make sure it didn’t end. Maybe the club that Tao recommended would be a pretty good start.

The “maybes” continued to plague Baekhyun’s mind until he did fall into a light nap.

***

Baekhyun should have guessed that Sehun would have gone down to the studio with everyone else once he realized that they weren’t leaving right away. At least that’s where Baekhyun assumed Sehun was, since he wasn’t in his room and the house was empty outside of the sounds coming from the lower level.

He walked to the kitchen to see if there were any snacks lying around and took a few crackers from a box, knowing by now that Mike wouldn’t care. He then padded around from room to room, now with a clearer head, and tried to determine if he really wanted to stay or not. He did love watching Kyungsoo work, and he did want to hear the finished product when it was done, if he were to be honest with himself.

Lost in thought, he hadn’t realized that he had entered the room with the medium grand, and he paused and stared at it. The piano seemed to stare back at him, like a challenge, or a taunt, or both.

_Remember when things were hard_  
_I always turned your tears into smiles_  
_Don’t cry in places without me, don’t cry_  
_Because you always had a lot of tears_

He did still wonder what had made Luhan cry so much, but more than that, or maybe the real reason he was curious, he wanted to know how Kyungsoo had turned those tears into smiles. When things were hard for Baekhyun, he would have loved to have someone like Kyungsoo make him smile.

This was so bad, and he looked at the piano like it was its fault. But it wasn’t its fault. It was his. The piano had done nothing to him. It had been Baekhyun that hadn’t been able to control himself, and he would continue repeating the pattern if he didn’t learn how to stay in control of his obsessive behaviors. He had done it with his photography. His photography had been a test to himself that he could pursue something without letting it consume him.

He sat at the piano and let his fingers slide over the cool keys, and his fingers itched to play, out of muscle memory and longing. He ran his hands over the fabric of his shorts and then placed his fingers on the keys again and thought to himself that maybe he could play a little and his world wouldn’t fall apart. Maybe.

His fingers took the lead and the rest of Baekhyun followed as he began to play Chopin’s “Raindrops.” He wasn’t sure why his fingers wanted to play a melancholy song, but maybe it was because that’s where they had left off on their piano-playing journey.

Baekhyun had always loved “Raindrops” because it took everything that he had learned about Chopin and turned it on its head. Most people played it too fast, accustomed to the quick notes of most Chopin pieces, but the song was meant to be played slow, an exception to the Chopin rule, and an exception that Baekhyun had made his mission at one point to master.

When he had surprised his mentor by playing it for him for the first time, he remembered the man staring at him as if he had been staring at a supernatural being that had unveiled itself in front of him, and he had stated, “That may have been the most perfect rendition of that song I’ve ever heard.”

Baekhyun had felt smug at the compliment. He had thought he could do anything at that point when it came to his piano playing. He even thought that he may not need college after all. He could probably just walk into an audition and nail it without having to wait four more years to get his career going.

No wonder it had all come crashing down on him. He had lost respect for the very thing he had devoted his entire life to.

He finished the song and stared at the piano, knowing now that part of what had kept him from playing again was shame. “I’m sorry,” he said to the piano, as if it would make up for how out of control he had become. He thought playing again would make him stressed and give him the anxiety he had felt back then, but instead, he felt calm and at peace, like he had lost his favorite toy and suddenly found it again after so many years of thinking it had been lost forever.

“Maybe we could be friends again,” Baekhyun said to the piano as he adjusted his fingers to start another piece.

“I personally would love that,” Sehun said, startling him, and Baekhyun looked over his shoulder to see not just Sehun standing there watching him, but Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Mike as well.

“Holy shit,” Mike said. “Never in the five million musicians that have sat on that piano in this house have I ever heard anyone that could play it like that.”

Sehun walked over to him with a soft smile and asked, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun nodded. “I don’t know why I sat here to play, but… I missed it.”

“I bet you did,” Sehun said, and he looked at the other three then back at Baekhyun. “You wanna play something else? You did always like showing off, and you happen to have a pretty attentive audience.”

“Yes, please,” Chanyeol said, making himself comfortable in the couch that best faced him.

Kyungsoo sat in an armchair, while Mike shoved at Chanyeol’s long legs so he could take a seat as well on the couch.

“Play ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’,” Sehun said.

“Uh,” Baekhyun had to pause to think if he could pull it off. “I’m not sure I remember…”

“You played it all the time. You remember,” Sehun assured him, giving him a pat on the back before sitting on a decorative bench near the armchair Kyungsoo sat in.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and wondered if his fingers remembered better than his memory did. He figured it was worth a shot.

Okay, it had definitely been worth it, because his fingers went flying after two false starts that he quickly apologized for, and though he messed up several notes in between, something he would have cried and thrown a tantrum about before, he managed to finish it with a very loud round of applause by the four men in the room.

“What did I just listen to?” Chanyeol asked.

“That was…,” Mike said, standing up as he continued to give loud claps. “That was… holy shit.”

“What… how did…” Chanyeol looked mystified by what he had witnessed. “Your fingers were going so fast. I’m never saying I can play the piano again.”

“Yeah, just hang it up and retire, man,” Mike told him. “You suck compared to this.”

“No, you’re so good,” Baekhyun told him.

“He is. I’m just messing with him,” Mike assured him, sensing the panicked look on his face.

“No, I’m not good,” Chanyeol said, shaking his head to himself.

“I told you he was a classically trained pianist,” Kyungsoo said to Chanyeol, as if duh, he should have known, though Baekhyun did notice that the bitter tone was not present anymore.

“Yeah, but,” Chanyeol said, his eyes wide as he shook his head again.

“So why are you not helping out with the album?” Mike asked him.

“No, seriously,” Chanyeol agreed, and he looked at Kyungsoo, “Why isn’t he helping you with the album?”

“He told me he refused to play ever again,” Kyungsoo said, looking at Baekhyun.

“I did,” Baekhyun nodded, “But I just sat here while you guys were in the studio, and I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I don’t know why I did it.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Mike said. “You know, this new song we’re working on. A piano could be cool in it.”

“Actually,” Baekhyun admitted, “When I sat down here to play, I was thinking about the lyrics you had written today. I don’t know why they affected me so much, but I think I sat down because of them and wanted to play because of them. And the first thing that came into my head was ‘Raindrops,’ which is a pretty melancholy song.”

“Hold on,” Kyungsoo said, and he disappeared from the room then reappeared in record time with the notebook. He placed it in front of Baekhyun then looked at him expectantly and said, “Just go for it.”

“Hold on,” Mike said, and he too disappeared from the room then reappeared with some device that seemed like it was meant for recording, only confirmed when he attached a mic to it and put it on the piano. “Okay, now go for it.”

“I don’t really write songs,” Baekhyun tried to explain, “But, it’s just a feeling I got.”

“Play the feeling,” Mike encouraged him.

He did his best, not able to quite find what he was looking for at first, but slowly getting lost in the idea of the lyrics and why it had been so impactful for him. When he knew he had found the right rhythm, he nodded to himself and started over on F, playing the feeling as he had been instructed, then singing the lyrics in front of him to make sure they fit just as he thought they would.

_Remember when things were hard_  
_I always turned your tears into smiles_  
_Don’t cry in places without me, don’t cry_  
_Because you always had a lot of tears_

_No, it’s my turn to cry, I’ll cry now_  
_I’ll take all of your tears_  
_It’s my turn to cry, give them to me_  
_Even those tears, this time_  
_This time yeah_

“I don’t even have words for how beautiful that is,” Chanyeol said.

“Man,” Mike said shaking his head. “Maaan.”

“That’s my best friend,” Sehun stated, beaming proudly.

Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo, waiting for his reaction, but Kyungsoo just stared at him, almost like Baekhyun’s mentor had when he had thought he had seen a supernatural being after he had played “Raindrops.”

“Did you like it?” Baekhyun asked.

“I love…” Kyungsoo said, then stopped himself and blinked and nodded, “I love it.”

Baekhyun smiled in relief, and then Mike and Chanyeol were moving about and saying they needed to record the piano and then get Kyungsoo in the studio to sing.

The amount of excitement in the room reminded Baekhyun of his early recitals, of his mastering of new pieces, of each time he put a smile on his mentor’s face with a new improvement. But this all felt a little different because this time, as opposed to before, he enjoyed the emotions involved. He loved Chanyeol’s input, and Mike’s technical expertise, and he especially loved the way Kyungsoo crossed out some of the words he had written and replaced them with ones that fit the mood of the piano better.

Sehun had taken it upon himself to grab Baekhyun’s camera and take pictures of all the activity, the proud smile never leaving his face.

When it was all said and done, and the song was fully recorded, they played it back and listened to it, everyone holding their breaths.

“That’s your solo album’s ‘Hurt’,” Mike commented once the last note had played.

“It’s better than ‘Hurt’,” Chanyeol stated, and he looked at Kyungsoo and said, “About time that one gets replaced, don’t you think?”

Kyungsoo seemed to consider this then said, “Maybe,” before nodding to himself and looking down at his hands.

It was almost four in the morning by the time they were completely done, and Baekhyun headed to his room, not able to stop yawning anymore in the studio.

But Kyungsoo had other ideas once they were in bed, and suddenly Baekhyun wasn’t as sleepy anymore as Kyungsoo gave his body attention like he never had before. And when Baekhyun was spent and coming down from an unreal blow job, Kyungsoo whispered in his ear, “I want to fuck you.”

The shivers that raced down his spine let Baekhyun know that he himself very much wanted that too, and he let Kyungsoo know, so that he could.


	19. Chapter 19

Sehun gave Baekhyun a knowing smile while they played in the pool the next day, Kyungsoo not joining them in the water as he sat on the lounge chair writing lyrics and stealing glances at Baekhyun.

“What?” Baekhyun asked Sehun, splashing him with water.

“You know what,” Sehun told him splashing him back.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun said, feeling a bit embarrassed for being so transparent. But he couldn’t help it. He had woken up with the sunniest disposition he had had since… well whenever the last time he had really gotten laid was.

“And to think you wanted to leave yesterday.”

“Yesterday was so 24 hours ago,” Baekhyun waved off.

“I so need a boyfriend,” Sehun lamented, as he leaned his head against the edge of the pool with his arms behind it and kicked his legs in the water. “I’m in major withdrawal. I even considered asking Tao if he wanted to hook up for old time’s sake just to take the edge off.”

“That’s so…” Baekhyun made a face, “No, don’t do that. Or if you do, just get back with him. Don’t complicate something that’s turned into a really great friendship for you guys.”

“Yeah yeah,” Sehun said with a sigh.

Chanyeol swam over to them and dunked himself under the water before coming up and slicking his hair back.

“I can’t stop thinking about you playing the piano,” Chanyeol told Baekhyun. “I even had a dream about it last night. I was trying to come up with a song and there you were on a piano playing a crazy song, and then my pizza was delivered and Yixing was the delivery boy. We have got to work together.”

Baekhyun chuckled and shook his head.

“I gave it up. I really don’t know why that happened yesterday.”

“Because you were meant to,” Chanyeol said, with a supportive fist pump. “Because it was time to revisit your crazy talent for the greater good. I mean, look, Yixing and I talked about taking Exodus’ sound to something a bit more melodic and grandiose for the next album, and a piano player like you would make that happen.”

“Are you asking him to be in Exodus?” Sehun said, shocked, or maybe hopeful, but either way, incorrect.

“Well no,” Chanyeol said, “But I mean, kinda. Like on the albums, and then maybe on tour when we need someone on the keys.”

“No,” Baekhyun said before he could continue that train of thought. “That’s a part of me that doesn’t exist anymore, and I’m really not interested in bringing it back.”

“How is that fair?” Chanyeol asked Sehun.

“If I had been born with the piano talent, I would have told you yes,” Sehun let him know.

“You’re a good man, Sehunnie,” Chanyeol said, and then he turned his attention back to Baekhyun, “You know you kind of brought it back though, right? You wrote a song yesterday, and you’ll get that writing credit on the album and royalties for it.”

“Wait, what?” Baekhyun said. It hadn’t even occurred to him. All he had thought about was how fun it had been.

“That. Is. So. Cool!” Sehun said giving him a hug. “Wait until Tao finds out. He’s going to lose his shit.”

“Wait…” Baekhyun said, still trying to process this, but his thoughts were interrupted when Mike loudly announced that they had a visitor.

“I heard the album’s coming along well,” Minseok said, looking between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. “Do I get to hear it?”

“It’s coming along more than well,” Chanyeol said, pulling himself out of the pool and grabbing his towel from a lounge chair. “You’re going to love it.”

“We have four songs recorded,” Mike let him know, and Baekhyun decided to follow Chanyeol’s lead and get out of the pool as well, very much noticing Kyungsoo watch him do so.

“Four great songs,” Sehun stated, as he got out of the pool as well. “The best songs I’ve ever heard.”

“Sehun’s not wrong about these things,” Chanyeol said with a laugh.

“Hm,” Minseok said, and Baekhyun noticed that he was looking between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, then said, “Well I’m ready when you guys are.”

Dried off and with dry clothes back on, they all headed down to the studio, now a bit more cramped with the extra person. Baekhyun sat on Sehun’s lap so there was plenty of space for Minseok on the couch.

Minseok was visibly impressed with each song he heard, and when they got to the one Baekhyun had helped with last night, Minseok put his hand up and said, “Whoa, whoa, what was that?” once it was done.

“Amazing, right?” Chanyeol said.

“That was incredible. That was… not at all what I was expecting for your solo album,” he said looking at Kyungsoo.

“It’s something different,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“Baekhyun helped with that one,” Mike pointed out, since no one else seemed to think to do so, and Baekhyun wanted to hide. “As in, he pretty much wrote the music for it. Did you know he’s a classically trained pianist?”

“I’d heard that,” Minseok said, and Baekhyun got the sense that Minseok wasn’t too impressed.

“It wasn’t really anything,” Baekhyun tried to play off, as if he needed to explain to Minseok why it wasn’t a problem at all, though he hadn’t indicated it was, “I was just inspired by Kyungsoo’s lyrics.”

Kyungsoo smiled at this, which made Baekhyun smile, which made Minseok clear his throat and ask Chanyeol, “So only four songs so far?”

“Give us a break,” Chanyeol whined, “We just started last weekend.”

“No, I’m not… I mean, take your time. I’m just trying to get an idea of the timeline here.”

“End of summer?” Kyungsoo tried.

“So end of the month?”

“Maybe next month then.”

It hadn’t occurred to Baekhyun until then just how fast the summer had flown and how they had only about a month left of it. He needed it to last forever. Somehow.

“Why don’t we aim for the first week of next month?” Minseok said to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Mike. “You’ve already come up with four songs in a short amount of time. You only need about six to eight more, right? Give or take. I’m not trying to rush you, Kyungsoo, but Jongdae’s more than halfway done with his solo album, and he’ll be starting his promo for it right after. So it’d be great to have you come out once his is done, get your promo time in, and then start working on the next Exodus comeback. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said, though he had lost his smile and seemed to be pulling away again.

“We’ll have it done,” Chanyeol told him with a firm nod.

Sadly for Baekhyun and Sehun, they had to start packing up since they would have to leave soon after lunch to get back to their real lives.

Mike threw some salmon steaks on the grill, and Baekhyun took some shots of him grilling, wanting very much to forever capture these moments. He then took pictures of Kyungsoo, his notebook on his lap as he napped, probably exhausted from trying to come up with what he wanted to say.

Baekhyun went to go upstairs to grab his duffel and bring it down to the living room where he could grab it right after lunch. He made sure to fix the bed a little, even though he was sure Kyungsoo would be staying in it again tonight.

“Hey,” Minseok said, tapping the door with his knuckles. “Got a second?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Baekhyun said with a smile as he walked over toward him. “I was just grabbing my things.”

“I wanted to talk to you about your… thing… with Kyungsoo.”

“Thing?” Baekhyun said, and he felt his stomach drop.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time together, and he’s obviously really into you.”

“It’s just temporary,” Baekhyun shrugged, trying to get ahead of whatever the issue might be.

“It has to be,” Minseok said with the type of affirmation that left no room for argument, and Baekhyun’s heart sunk a bit with his stomach. “The problem is that Kyungsoo likes to see what he can get away with. So he won’t end it like he should, or like he already should have. This was hard enough the first time with Luhan. I do not want to go through that again.”

“He already should have?” Baekhyun asked, his voice small all of a sudden.

Minseok took a few steps forward to face Baekhyun directly and look him right in the eyes.

“I need you,” Minseok stated, “to end this thing with him. He’s not going to do it until it’s too late. It’s easier for everyone if you just pull the plug on it now.”

Now Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t breathe, and his mouth parted as he looked at Minseok, too dumbfounded to speak.

“The rumors are already starting again. What’s the real reason for Exodus’ hiatus? Is there tension in the band? What’s Kyungsoo hiding now? They have their theories, and fans catching the two of you hanging out on the Malibu pier did not help matters. This has to end right now. The company is starting to get concerned again. Kyungsoo didn’t work this hard and put so much on the line just to have it all come crashing down around him now. You have to end it.”

When Baekhyun didn’t give Minseok any response, the manager added, “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear. I’m sorry it has to be like this. It’s nothing against you. You’re a great guy. In another lifetime, you know?”

Baekhyun wanted to go back in time and tell Sehun “no” to covering the concert for him. No. That wasn’t true. Baekhyun wanted to tell Minseok to go fuck himself and that Kyungsoo would end it for them when he was good and ready. No. That wasn’t true either. Baekhyun just wanted to crumble into a ball and cry.

Minseok left him alone in the room and all Baekhyun could think about were Kyungsoo’s lyrics he had written the day before.

_No, it’s my turn to cry, I’ll cry now_

Why did it have to be like this?

Oh, right. Because Kyungsoo was famous and the world was too stupid to accept him for who he really was. Baekhyun hated everything, and now the massive Malibu mansion that had provided such a breath of fresh air felt suffocating.

He grabbed his duffel bag and camera bag and headed back downstairs and out into the pool area where he cleared his throat and addressed everyone.

“Sorry, guys, but we have to leave now. I forgot I had to do dinner with my parents tonight.”

“What? No, the salmons are almost done,” Mike said.

“Sorry, next time,” Baekhyun told him, and Sehun, who looked very confused, put his beer down and got up to walk over to him.

Kyungsoo got up as well and Baekhyun turned to go back inside, not able to face him at the moment. He headed straight to the front door.

“What’s going on?” Sehun asked him as he rushed behind him. “I didn’t know you had dinner with your parents tonight. Why didn’t they invite me?”

“Not right now,” Baekhyun said, swinging the front door open.  

“Baek,” Sehun said, following him out. “What’s going on?”

“Just get in the car.”

“I have to strap my board to your hood first.”

“Shit,” Baekhyun said, his planned escape thwarted by logistics. He helped Sehun get his surfboard strapped into place, giving Kyungsoo all the time in the world to join them.

“Why are you leaving?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“I forgot I had things to do,” Baekhyun stated, not looking at him. He couldn’t look at him.

“You rushed out,” Kyungsoo astutely pointed out. “That’s not normal.”

Baekhyun said nothing and finished getting the surfboard secured, then had no choice but to face Kyungsoo, who looked confused and the littlest bit upset.

“I just… think we should… end all this,” Baekhyun said, or someone that sounded and looked like him said. He really had no idea what to say or what he was saying.

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes, then put his hands on his hips and looked back at the house, and then looked back at Baekhyun.

“Did Minseok say something to you?”

“Does it matter? He’s right. Your career and everything is too important for you to screw it all up by messing with me. It’s the end of the summer soon, so we’ll just end it now. It was amazing and fun and I will never ever ever forget it,” Baekhyun said, his voice wavering a bit, and he cleared his throat to get a handle on his emotions. “I truly can’t thank you enough for giving me one of the best summers I’ve ever had. Or, actually, the best summer I’ve ever had.”

“Stop,” Kyungsoo told him, dropping his arms back to his sides and stepping toward him.

Baekhyun took a step back.

“No, I want to tell you this. Like, no matter what, even if I shouldn’t have liked you as much as I did, I don’t regret it because it meant so much to me. More than I intended.”

“Baek, stop,” Kyungsoo said again, closing the gap further.

“No,” Baekhyun said again, and he shook his head so Kyungsoo could understand. “I need to say this. I’m probably just another notch on your bedpost, but I will remember you as someone special in my life. And maybe, deep down inside, there’s a little part of you that will remember me as someone special that was once in your life. Maybe you could…” Baekhyun took a couple of breaths, “Or maybe one day.. Promise that you will sing about me.”

“Did you just Kendrick him?” Sehun asked, being far too nosy from inside the car.

“Shut up, this is between me and him.”

“That’s a Kendrick song,” Sehun shouted out to Kyungsoo.

“How does it go?” Kyungsoo asked, and Baekhyun noticed that he looked unsure.

“It doesn’t matter,” Baekhyun said.

“It does matter,” Kyungsoo said looking straight at him again. “Sing it to me.”

“What?” Baekhyun asked, now looking unsure as well.

“You can’t just Kendrick me and not give me the full context. Sing it to me.”

“The full context doesn’t apply,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“Just sing it. If you’re dumping me and this is the last time I’ll ever see you, then at least let me hear you sing one last time.”

Baekhyun’s head reeled at the idea that Kyungsoo thought he was being dumped. They had to be together for there to be dumping. What exactly had he meant by that?

“Just sing it, Baek,” Sehun egged on.

Baekhyun shrugged and did, because this was stupid, so he’d just do it and go. Or something.

_When the lights shut off_  
_And it’s my turn to settle down_  
_My main concern_  
_Promise that you will sing about me_  
_Promise that you will sing about me_

“The context of the song is death,” Baekhyun then explained, when Kyungsoo stared at him after he was done. “All these people jump into the song talking about how they know their lives will probably be cut short because of their circumstances—things they can’t control about the environment they live in. So instead they get immortalized in the song. This isn’t death, but we can’t really control our circumstances either, can we? So maybe we don’t really get to have this, but maybe you could immortalize it somehow. Or I don’t know, maybe I’ll do it with my photographs instead.”

Baekhyun shook his head at himself and finally got in the car, Kyungsoo making no motion to stop him this time. It was Kyungsoo standing in the driveway that was his final image of him as he pulled away, and he tried really hard to hold back any tears from falling, but one stupid one fell when they got to the bottom of the hill, and Sehun rubbed his neck in comfort.

“I’m sorry Minseok said horrible things to you,” Sehun said, while they waited for the light to turn green.

“They weren’t horrible. They were true.”

“True things tend to be the most horrible ones,” Sehun stated.

Baekhyun couldn’t argue that sentiment at the moment. He was hurt and sad. He wanted to drive to the beach and yell for several hours until he lost his voice. He wanted to drive back to Kyungsoo and apologize and tell him that maybe there’s a way they could have their happy ending. But who was he kidding? Kyungsoo’s true love was Exodus, and there would never be anyone, including Baekhyun, that would be able to compete with it.


	20. Chapter 20

Baekhyun came home from work to find two boxes of pizza on the table and a very attentive Junmyeon opening his box for him.

“I got you the meat lovers one that you like,” Junmyeon stated with a hopeful smile.

“You didn’t have to,” Baekhyun said, even as he dropped himself into the chair at the dining table and took a slice to chomp on.

“I wanted to make sure you ate,” Junmyeon stated, taking a seat himself to start on his vegan pizza. “How’d work go?”

“It went,” Baekhyun shrugged. “How’d your work go?”

“It went,” Junmyeon shrugged back.

Baekhyun had spent the entire day at work attending more meetings than usual and coming up with side projects to keep his mind occupied during any downtime that happened. While working on projects, he had switched his normal playlist to something that didn’t involve Kyungsoo in any way, which meant that Kendrick had to be replaced with the latest Migos album that he hadn’t had a chance to listen to.

“Want to watch something on Netflix tonight?” Junmyeon tried, and Baekhyun really did appreciate the effort his roommate was putting in to make sure he was alright.

“I’m fine, Joons,” Baekhyun assured him. “I’m just going to eat my pizza and go to bed.”

He could even convince himself he was fine. He had reasoned on the drive home that he was more resigned than fine, but it had the same effect. He just needed to not think about it all, and then he’d be “fine.”

Which is naturally why he went to bed and cried himself to sleep for the second night in a row.

***

By the time the weekend arrived, Baekhyun did have himself convinced that he was fine. So much so that he pulled himself together to attend Jongin’s “congratulations” dinner at their favorite Korean barbecue place.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jongin said, giving him a big hug upon arrival.

“I knew they’d give you that promotion,” Baekhyun said, giving him a good rub on the back. “Do I have to call you Captain Kim now?”

“Yes, all the time,” Jongin said with his dorky laugh.

Baekhyun saluted him to make him laugh even more, then he and Junmyeon sat at a table next to Jongin’s so that Junmyeon could have half a grill to himself and his veggies.

“I’ll come over here,” Sehun told them as he left the table Jongin was at with his girlfriend and lifeguard friends so he could scoot in next to Baekhyun, “Oh, you didn’t bring your girlfriend?”

Junmyeon shook his head and explained that he had already mentioned it to Jongin that she wouldn’t be coming.

Their server turned their grill on for them and Baekhyun did his best to focus on the lively atmosphere, the smell of fire and cooked meat from the tables around him reminding him that he actually was a bit hungry.

“Baek and I were going to hit up a bar after this,” Sehun told Junmyeon. “I know gay bars aren’t your thing, but we’re going to go and find new boyfriends. You’re more than welcome to come with us and be our wingman.”

“Is this the one Tao recommended?” Junmyeon asked as he started in on all the vegan options of the banchan that was brought out for them.

“Yep,” Sehun said. “He says it has a cool vibe.”

“I’m not sure I’ll make a good wingman, but I’ll go.”

“Really?” Baekhyun said, surprised he’d go with them.

“Yeah, why not?” Junmyeon shrugged.

“We’re going to have a good time,” Sehun stated. “First round of shots is on Baek.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun said, smacking the side of Sehun’s arm, and Sehun snickered.

They grilled their meat and veggies, Sehun taking care to not let any of their meat touch Junmyeon’s side of the grill, and Jongin joined them to gloat with a round of soju.

“To me being a captain!” He cheered with them, much as he had a few minutes earlier with his girlfriend and lifeguard friends.

“What’s after captain?” Junmyeon asked him.

“Section chief,” Jongin said, “But those guys take forever to retire so I’ll be a captain for a while.”

“Captain sounds better than chief anyway,” Baekhyun let him know, and Jongin whole-heartedly agreed.

It would have been easy for Baekhyun to keep pretending that he was getting through this night entirely fine, but he kept having stray thoughts here and there about how fun it would have been to have Korean barbecue with Kyungsoo, or to be out at dinner with Kyungsoo, or maybe even writing another song together.

And when they got to the bar afterwards, his thoughts turned to how fun it would have been to be at a bar with Kyungsoo, knocking back shots and laughing about stupid things while learning more about him in serendipitous ways.

But instead, he was nursing a beer and watching as Sehun flirted with a guy who looked like a cross between a hipster and a goth and was showing off his piercings to him.

“Is that guy even Sehun’s type?” Junmyeon observed, then annihilated his whiskey sour like he hadn’t shared three bottles of soju with them at the restaurant earlier.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun said, “Kind of? I don’t know. He likes weird people. Tao was weird.”

“Tao is still weird,” Junmyeon pointed out before ordering another.

That was very true. Baekhyun took another sip and then had another beer placed in front of him.

“Courtesy of the gentleman in blue,” the bartender said, nodding toward a small table to the side.

“Uh…” Baekhyun paused and looked over to see a rather handsome guy in a blue turtleneck smile at him. “Okay, have I ever mentioned how much I hate doing this?” Baekhyun said to Junmyeon, “Help me out here.” Baekhyun smiled at the guy and then pointed toward Junmyeon, as if to indicate he was here with him.

“It’s nice to see this is just as bad with guys as it is with girls,” Junmyeon said with a small chuckle, “But why am I pretending? Aren’t you here to look for a new boyfriend?”

“I was just humoring, Sehun,” Baekhyun said, turning back around and hoping the guy in the blue turtleneck had gotten the hint. Who wore turtlenecks during the summer anyway?

“You’re not going to move on from…”

“I know,” Baekhyun told him before he could finish the sentence. “I will in my own way, at my own pace.”

Junmyeon nodded in understanding and glanced toward Sehun again, then his eyes went round. Baekhyun looked over to see that Sehun was now locked in a very drunken kiss with piercings guy.

“Well, this looks promising for him,” Baekhyun said.

“I’m the wingman. I should stop this, right?”

“What? No. You’re supposed to help his game, not ruin it. You really are bad at the wingman thing.”

“But that guy’s not good enough for Sehun. What does he do for a living? What’s his income? Does he come from a good family?”

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun said, emitting loud laughter, “Calm down, dad. Sehun wants to get laid. Let him get laid. You don’t need to know what someone does for a living to do that.”

Junmyeon let out a huff then said, “I’m just saying,” before knocking back his drink again.

“And you need to slow it down,” Baekhyun told him, asking the bartender to bring Junmyeon a water. “What’s going on anyway? You seem a little high strung. Are you feeling uncomfortable here?”

“No,” Junmyeon said, thanking the bartender for his water. “I’m just… I’m good.”

“Are you wishing you were at your girlfriend’s instead?” Baekhyun teased him.

“We broke up,” Junmyeon stated, as if he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb.

“What? Wait what? When?”

“A few nights ago,” Junmyeon shrugged. “It was time anyway.”

Baekhyun felt very confused by this. Junmyeon had been spending more time with her, which felt like the opposite of what a couple would do if it was time anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun told him, still surprised and wanting to know more. “Who broke up with who?”

“I broke up with her,” Junmyeon said with a sigh. He ordered himself another drink, which Baekhyun did not try to prevent. Instead he rubbed his friend’s back in a comforting gesture.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were dealing with your own thing. Besides, I didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it was. I’m just trying to move on from it. Like you are.”

“Yeah, but yours was an actual relationship. I would have gotten you those sweet potato fries you love so much from that one vegan place you always go to. I would have gotten you a whole bucket.”

Junmyeon smiled and reached over to give Baekhyun a small hug, thanking him for the sentiment. Then he looked disturbed again.

“Okay, but they should maybe take it to a room?”

Baekhyun looked over at Sehun again to see that Sehun now stood between piercing guy’s legs, who still sat on his barstool and now had his hands on Sehun’s ass.

“Yeah, maybe it’s time to head out,” Baekhyun agreed, asking the bartender to close the tab, which Junmyeon had put on his card, probably in anticipation of all the drinking he had planned to do to make it through the night.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, walking over to tap Sehun on the shoulder. “We’re heading out.”

Sehun detached his lips from the other guy’s enough to look at Baekhyun and register what he had said, “Oh, already?”

“We can go back to my place if you want,” the piercing guy said to Sehun. “I live a few blocks down, so we can walk.”

“What do you do for a living?” Junmyeon asked the guy, popping up by Baekhyun’s side.

“What?” The guy asked him.

“What’s your annual income?” Junmyeon followed up, and Baekhyun put his hands on Junmyeon’s shoulders.

“He’s drunk,” Baekhyun explained to the guy, “Just ignore him.” Then he looked at Sehun and said, “You good?”

“Yeah,” Sehun said, though he looked toward Junmyeon a little confused, and possibly a bit annoyed.

“You deserve better,” Junmyeon said to Sehun.

“I’m so sorry about this,” Baekhyun said to the guy, who kept looking between Junmyeon and Sehun. “You guys have a fun night. I’m going to make sure he goes to bed where he can stop asking questions that don’t pertain to the situation.”

Baekhyun managed to get Junmyeon out of the bar, then called for an Uber to take them home. In the car, he rested his head against the seat and tried to stop the thoughts in his mind about Kyungsoo and how he normally picked up one-night-stands but hadn’t while he and Baekhyun had been doing their thing. Was he back at bars now picking up new ones? How many hook ups had Kyungsoo had since Baekhyun “dumped” him? How many hickeys were on Kyungsoo’s neck now?

He was pulled away from his thoughts when Junmyeon said the weirdest thing.

“Maybe I should get some piercings.”

And then Junmyeon passed out with his head resting against the car window, Baekhyun staring at him with confusion, and then understanding.

***

The heat was almost unbearable on Sunday, and Baekhyun considered telling Sehun that he’d have to skip the beach that day because no one with common sense would leave the cool comfort of their home. But he had woken up wondering what Kyungsoo was doing, and thinking that he was probably still in the house in Malibu, working on his music and eating grilled steaks that Mike had made them.

So Baekhyun went to the beach to also be productive instead of pathetic. He applied tons of sunblock and wore his baseball cap and sunglasses, making it his mission to get some great new shots of the ocean and beach landscape. But each picture he took made him think only one thing—it was missing Kyungsoo in it.

He finally gave up and sat on his beach blanket, drinking a Gatorade from the cooler and staring at the pictures he had taken of Kyungsoo on the beach instead. He missed him. He missed staring at him, and photographing him, and kissing him, and getting to know him. He missed the way he touched him, and he missed the warmth of his skin under his own fingertips. He missed his full lips, and serious expressions, and quiet disposition. And in a really weird realization, Baekhyun realized that he missed Kyungsoo more than he had missed Kris when Kris had broken up with him.

Maybe he had been too rash. He had been so unnerved by what Minseok had said to him that he hadn’t really thought about it. He had just acted, not sure what he was supposed to have done. But maybe if he had stopped and thought about it, he could have come up with a solution. Or maybe at least a mental deadline, so that he could enjoy a few final nights with Kyungsoo before losing him. Why had he not thought about it? He was so upset at himself now.

But it’s not like Kyungsoo had reached out to him. Maybe Kyungsoo had been waiting for him to end it so he didn’t have to. Maybe he had done Kyungsoo a favor by jumping the gun. Maybe after he had driven away, Kyungsoo had gone back inside and felt relief. Maybe Kyungsoo had sent Minseok to talk to him in the first place so it could all end.

“Hey,” Sehun said, and Baekhyun didn’t even realize that he had come out of the water and sat beside him. “You’re freaking out.” And that could explain why he didn’t realize it.

“No, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re definitely freaking out. What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t I wait?” Baekhyun said, staring now at his best friend, who stared at him attentive through the wet strands of hair hanging over his eyes. “I could have waited. I didn’t have to end things with him right in that moment. Why did I freak out and end it? And why hasn’t he called me, or texted me, or reached out to try and work things out? He was probably happy I ended it, right? It took the pressure off him to do it instead. Right?”

“I don’t think…” Sehun began, and then he sighed and started over, “He seemed really upset that you ended things. I don’t think he was happy about it.”

“So then why didn’t he stop me?”

“Because… Baek, you have to stop thinking about him.”

“I can’t,” Baekhyun admitted, his emotions welling up. He rubbed his cheek with his palm, as if that would stop his emotions from exploding. “I’m mad at myself for doing that. I could have been smarter about it and talked to him and worked out a schedule and deadline for the time we had left. It didn’t have to end so horribly.”

Baekhyun wanted to yell and let all his frustrations out, but he held them in and tried to get a grip. It was his fault. He was a grown man. He could handle the repercussions of his stupidity.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” Sehun then said, “but, Chanyeol and I have been texting back and forth about you guys.”

“You have?” Baekhyun asked, surprised, “Why?”

“Well, he texted me first to ask if you were alright, and I told him you weren’t, but you were trying to be. And then I asked him if Kyungsoo was alright, and he said he wasn’t, but he was trying to be.”

“Yeah right,” Baekhyun snorted, rubbing his cheek again, “He’s probably picking people up at bars and settling back into his rock star bachelor life.”

“He’s…,” Sehun bit on his lower lip as if trying to figure out how to say something, “…not.”

Baekhyun stared at his best friend for a moment and then felt even worse.

“Great, so I handled everything wrong, and now he’s upset, and everything is terrible for the both of us. I’m such a dick.”

“I think Minseok’s the dick here, but… well either way, it ended, so you have to let it go. Somehow. We can go back to that bar again and maybe try again. There were tons of good looking guys there, and maybe one is perfect for you.”

“I don’t want to find someone else. I’m not good at it anyway. I think this is a good reminder that I’m better off sticking to my way of doing things. Go to work, focus on my photography, make sure you win your next competition, eat a lot of delicious food, play a lot of great video games, and go to sleep. That’s literally all I need my life to be. I’ll leave the relationships to you guys.”

“There you go again with your pattern,” Sehun said, sounding a little frustrated, “Piano didn’t work out how you wanted, so you give up on it and replaced it with photography. Kris didn’t work out how you wanted, so you give up on the boyfriend thing and replaced it with becoming obsessed with your internship and rising up the ranks. Now this fling with Kyungsoo didn’t work out and you’ve already written off any possible future flings. I can’t wait to see what you obsess over to make sure you stay out of any situation involving meeting people.”

“I don’t think it’s a pattern to not want to repeat the same mistake twice,” Baekhyun defended.

“If you learn from it, then you don’t repeat it. That’s how mistakes work. You’re supposed to learn from them. And you do. Look at how differently you treat your photography thing compared to your piano thing. And then you finally played the piano again, and, oh hey, look, you didn’t die or anything. You were able to play it just fine. And I saw you, Baek. You enjoyed it. You missed it, and you had so much fun playing it again. If I thought like you, I wouldn’t even be trying to surf anymore. I would have given up after my injury and be doing something else.” Sehun sighed and put his hand on Baekhyun’s forearm. “I’m just saying, the same types of experiences are never the same twice. Your future husband is out there, and you’re going to miss your chance at true love because you’re afraid of repeating a mistake you’d more than likely never repeat in the first place.”

Sure, Sehun may have had a point, but Baekhyun really didn’t want to look for Mr. Right. And part of him was too scared to admit the real reason why. So he got up instead, and asked Sehun if he was done for the evening.

Sehun stood up and said, “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said all that. I’m just worried about you.”

“Don’t be. Sorry or worried,” Baekhyun said, forcing a small smile for his friend. “I’ll be fine, Sehunnie. I always am. And your truths are… well true. I know they are. But I’m the way I am, and it works for me in its own weird way. At least for now.”

“Okay,” Sehun nodded. “I know you’ll figure it all out.”

Baekhyun was sure he wouldn’t, but he nodded and gave Sehun a hug anyway to let him know there were no hard feelings.

***

With a new expansion pack release scheduled for late fall, Baekhyun had all the reason in the world to work overtime and prepare documentation to help ease some things down the line when they got closer to crunch time. There wasn’t any point in proving Sehun wrong. He did find a new way to avoid going out and potentially meeting new people, and he also found a way to stop thinking about Kyungsoo. Mostly.

While looking at the designs for the expansion pack, his cellphone rang, and he glanced over to see Junmyeon’s picture showing on the screen.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, putting him on speaker. “I’m working overtime again so I already got dinner. Don’t worry. I’m eating.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re eating. But also, you have someone here waiting for you, so you should come home.”

“Someone’s waiting for me? Who’s waiting for me?” Baekhyun said, not having expected any visitors. Maybe Sehun had come over after practice.

“Uh… Minseok,” Junmyeon said, and Baekhyun’s heart race sped up, “He says he needs to talk to you.”

Talk to him about what? Hadn’t he already said enough to him?

“O-okay. I’ll be there in twenty or so.”

He hung up and ran his hand through his hair, trying not to freak out. Maybe Minseok was there to warn him again to stay away from Kyungsoo. Maybe he was there to try and pay him off to keep him from talking to the Korean tabloids. Maybe he wanted all the pictures of Kyungsoo he had so they wouldn’t leak. He started thinking of a million reasons that Minseok was at his place, and every reason was bad.

Baekhyun drove faster than usual and got home already feeling nervous from whatever this visit was about. He tried to calm his mind and breathed a few times before letting himself in and finding Minseok sitting on the couch with Junmyeon as they talked with the TV on in the background.

“Hey,” Junmyeon said with a supportive smile, and then he got up from the couch, “I’ll leave you two to it.”

Baekhyun would rather have had Junmyeon stay, just in case he couldn’t handle whatever he was about to be told, but he thanked his roommate anyway when he told him he’d be in his room if he needed him.

Minseok had stood up as well, and once they were alone, he started speaking first.

“I would have called to let you know I was coming, but I needed some time on the drive down to think, so I called Sehun instead for your address. I hope you’re not too upset.”

“I’m… confused?” Baekhyun said instead, finally taking his shoes off at the door and coming all the way into the living room as he dropped his keys and phone onto the coffee table. “Why are you here?”

“I didn’t handle this situation well,” Minseok explained. “And I wanted to apologize to you for how I handled it.”

Baekhyun looked at him, unsure of what to say, and Minseok continued.

“After you left, Kyungsoo found me and asked me why I did what I did, and I was upset enough to throw that back in his face and ask him why he hadn’t. He didn’t talk to me the rest of the day. He didn’t talk to anyone. I let him have that day to stew, but the next day I reminded him that I’m on his side and that I’m looking out for him and the band. He still wouldn’t talk to me, but he got back in the studio at least.”

A little prick of pain bothered his chest, and Baekhyun said, “I’m glad he’s moved on then.” It was good one of them had.

“I didn’t say that,” Minseok stated, “He’s rebelling, as he does whenever things don’t go his way. He’s not bothering to write any lyrics at all. He’s just recording whatever Chanyeol and Mike come up with. He’s not singing with any emotion. He’s just going through the motions. Kyungsoo’s good at going through the motions.”

Baekhyun stood there unsure of what to do with this information. So he hadn’t moved on. At least they had that in common. But what difference did it make now?

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun asked him.

“Because Chanyeol told me it was my job to fix this,” Minseok said with a frustrated sigh as he put his hands on his hips. “You know, I thought if it came from you, it’d be a done deal. But he knew I had talked to you first, so it didn’t matter. I had kept asking him what was going on between the two of you. I had confronted him about the Malibu Pier after those girls went online and told the world they had run into him there with a photographer. You don’t understand how this works. One fan sighting leads to autographs and pictures, which get posted online for fans to study and investigate so they can start creating their own narratives. All it would take is one more fan sighting with you and Kyungsoo for people to start connecting dots. The comments after those girls in Malibu went from ‘You’re so lucky’ to ‘Who was the photographer? Were the pictures for his solo album? Is it for a magazine? What’s the photographer’s name?’ They want to know who you are. They want to stalk you in case they can get access to your photographs or your insight into Kyungsoo. And the more you’re seen with him, the more they’re going to start thinking that you guys are together. It’s what happened with Luhan, and it’s what was going to happen with you.” Minseok shook his head, looking annoyed, “But now I have a listless singer who’s withdrawn even more from reality and a drummer who’s threatening to call a band meeting and have me fired if I don’t fix this.”

Baekhyun looked surprised by this. He couldn’t imagine them firing Minseok. If he couldn’t handle the band, he was pretty sure a new person wouldn’t be able to either.

“You know what’s the worst part?” Minseok continued, apparently needing to vent. “We’ve been together for five years. Almost six. In that time, I’ve always felt like part of the band. I even thought of myself as a fifth member. All the adventures we’ve gone on. All the learning experiences we shared. The good and bad. We’ve done it together. This band is everything to me too, and I’ve worked hard to protect them and make sure the company treats them right and doesn’t screw them over. I’ve argued for better cuts from sales, better percentages, better equipment, better accommodations. I’ve done everything I can to make sure they’re treated like the rock geniuses that they are. But at the end of the day, they just see me as the company man. The guy who’s in charge of making sure the contracts are legitimate and their schedules are kept. The guy they can just fire if things aren’t to their liking.”

Minseok looked away, and Baekhyun did feel bad for him. It couldn’t have been easy for Minseok to keep up with the demands of not only the band as a whole, but of Kyungsoo who seemed to want to make things as difficult as possible.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, wanting him to know that he understood, “But I’m not sure how this can be fixed. Like you said, we really can’t be together. And I know that his music and his career is more important to him than anything else. I learned that lesson well when he disappeared into the studio and didn’t contact me for days. I’m sure if you give him time, he’ll get over it and return back to normal. Or whatever Kyungsoo’s new normal is.”

“After Luhan, Kyungsoo’s new normal was to become a shell of who he used to be. I’m sure after this, he’ll lose the shell and just become a ghost of who he was.” Minseok took a deep breath and shrugged, appearing to not have any ideas or answers. He walked toward the door, and Baekhyun followed him to see him out, wishing he had something helpful to say.

“I don’t think he’ll lose it,” Baekhyun offered. “Luhan was his true love. I was just a fling. He’ll recover from this. Maybe find him a new girlfriend. One that you guys don’t hate.”

Minseok paused at the door and considered him for a moment, then said something that Baekhyun wished he hadn’t.

“Kyungsoo doesn’t have flings. He either has one-night-stands or relationships. He’s a person of extremes and doesn’t waste his time with something unless he’s decided to commit to it. It’s why he’s in the studio working on a solo album that he can’t put his soul into. Because he committed to it, and he’s going to finish it regardless of whatever happened. It’s why I told him to stop seeing you. Maybe you only saw Kyungsoo as a fling, but he was interested in you as more than a one-night-stand the moment you turned him down. That’s the night I should have stopped it. I wish I had never brought you backstage.”

Minseok closed his eyes and shook his head to himself, then left. Just like that.

Baekhyun wouldn’t have been able to stop him anyway. He was too busy standing stunned by the door, thinking about the moment he and Kyungsoo had met and everything that had happened after. Kyungsoo wouldn’t leave him alone. Kyungsoo had pursued him.

_“Not to take pictures,” Kyungsoo had said after their first photo shoot at the Huntington Beach Pier. “Just to… hang out. I like hanging out with you.”_

_“He likes you,” Sehun had told him after their dinner together that same night._

_“Do we really have to wait until next weekend?” Kyungsoo had asked him after Baekhyun had taken him to Palos Verdes and shown him the friendship bell._

_“You did make it clear to him that you didn’t want to hook up with him, so he’s probably unsure of what lines he can and can’t cross with you,” Junmyeon had pointed out when Baekhyun had been upset that Kyungsoo hadn’t hugged him._

_“I’m not going to cross your boundaries,” Kyungsoo had told him on the pier. “So I can’t kiss you like I want to do right now. So instead, you’re going to have to kiss me.”_

_“I guess we can be friends that kiss,” Baekhyun had said. “At least until you leave back to Korea.”_

_“I’ve had three girlfriends in my life,” Kyungsoo had explained to him. “All three didn’t think I cared enough. They never understood that I showed how much I cared in different ways than other people do.”_

“Oh God,” Baekhyun said, feeling his chest heave as all the realizations began crashing down around him.

He remembered their first real “argument” after Kyungsoo had been horrible to his bandmates about the songs they had written, and how in his upset state, he had threatened to kick Baekhyun out of his place as well. And then he remembered all the texts of apologies that had followed, and then…

_“I’ve never been more grateful for how easy it is to find you,” Kyungsoo had told him, when he had sought him out on the beach to apologize to him in person after being ignored._

_And he had sang him Kendrick, and Baekhyun had forgiven him._

_“You know, Sehun had no issues giving me a second chance. So I guess I can give you another one too.”_

_Kyungsoo had nodded at him and said, “I appreciate that. I really did miss you.”_

_“It was like a day,” Baekhyun had pointed out._

_“I thought it was forever,” Kyungsoo had stated._

“Oh, shit,” Baekhyun said, stumbling his way toward the couch as he sat on it and dropped his head into his hands, “Shit shit shit.”

_“You know, it’s funny, seeing how Kyungsoo has been acting around you all day,” Chanyeol had told him on the Manhattan Beach Pier after Jongin’s Lifeguard Games. “You get him to smile and everything. I seriously thought that part of him was gone.”_

And then Baekhyun thought about the first time he had spent the night at Kyungsoo’s finally giving into him completely after Kyungsoo had made him an amazing dinner.

_“I think I really like you,” Baekhyun had whispered, naked and spent and wrapped up in Kyungsoo’s arms._

_“I think I really like you too,” Kyungsoo had replied._

And then at the bonfire when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had wrapped themselves up under a blanket and cuddled into each other.

_“Can we stay like this forever?” Baekhyun had asked him._

_“Yes,” Kyungsoo said. “We’re never leaving this moment.”_

The tears had already started falling, but now they were more furious, as two final memories popped into his mind.

The first, when they had been eating at the overpriced restaurant on the Malibu pier.

_“Luhan and I never said we were together…”_

The second, just over a week ago in the driveway of Mike’s house.

_“Just sing it. If you’re dumping me and this is the last time I’ll ever see you, then at least let me hear you sing one last time.”_

“Breathe, Baek. Breathe,” Junmyeon said, his voice and touch catching Baekhyun by surprise as he rubbed his hand around Baekhyun’s back.

“He told me,” Baekhyun managed to get out before he let out a cry.

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon said, making little “shh” sounds to calm him.

“He told me his exes never understood that he showed how he cared differently. He told me he wouldn’t cross my boundaries. He gave me everything I wanted, and I set the tone for the whole thing. I put the nail in my own coffin by calling it a fling, but it was never a fling,” Baekhyun said, looking up at Junmyeon as the tears continued to fall. “It was more, and I freaked out and ended it. He actually liked me, Joons. He liked me. He wanted me.”

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon said pulling him close and holding him. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” Baekhyun cried into his chest. “How? It can’t be okay. I miss him so much.”

“I know,” Junmyeon said, still holding him and trying to comfort him.

But he wouldn’t be comforted that night. His memories and emotions were too strong, and he spent the night in his room wishing he could go back in time and realize things quicker. No, the outcome may not have been different. The time still would have come for Kyungsoo to choose the band over him. But still. He would have ended things differently at least.

He didn’t stop crying until he was forced to by sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

With the U.S. Open of Surfing only a few weeks away, Sehun was in ultra-serious training mode. He had secured three medium-range sponsors with the help of the amazing shots and videos Baekhyun had taken of him to submit with his resume. Thanks to his sponsors, Sehun had been gifted a couple of new boards and gear for the competition, as well as enough money to take the week off from work before the competition so he could focus solely on training.

Baekhyun had been hoping for a lot more sponsors, but with a crowded U.S. Open field, he supposed they were being picky. It didn’t matter, since he was a hundred percent sure that after Sehun won the championship, they’d be begging him to be the face of their brand.

He had set up on the pier to get great shots of Sehun as he tried out one of his new boards, getting a feel for it as he broke it in. Baekhyun was able to get clear shots of him and the board from that angle, knowing the sponsors would appreciate the clear views of their logos.

Under normal circumstances, Baekhyun would have been overflowing with excitement and energy about the upcoming competition, but under current circumstances, he only felt numb. He tried to fake it for Sehun’s sake, but his best friend had known him for too long and could see through it, which made Baekhyun feel worse.

His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his back pocket, not recognizing the number even though it had an O.C. area code.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Baek, hey. It’s Chanyeol.”

He shouldn’t have picked up.

“Oh… hey.”

“Hey! I know this is random, but I kinda need a favor from someone that’s down in the O.C. I’m still stuck up in Malibu, but I need this instrument to be picked up from this high school in Anaheim and taken to this donation place. I forgot I had arranged things before coming up here and they called me saying they were going to cancel my order if I didn’t get it over to them. Do you think you could go pick it up and take it?”

Baekhyun didn’t quite follow, but he got the gist of something needing to be picked up and taken somewhere else.

“I’m at the beach right now so it’s probably going to take me 30 to 45 with traffic.”

“That’s fine. I’ll tell them you’re on your way,” Chanyeol said, giving him the address of the school before hanging up.

Baekhyun hung up, relieved that it was just a weird favor and not Chanyeol trying to talk to him about Kyungsoo. He didn’t think he could handle more of that after Minseok’s visit.

He texted Sehun’s phone so that he knew he had to leave to run an errand, then headed to his car, making it to the school in about 35 minutes since the traffic had decided to have grace on him.

Chanyeol’s instructions were very clear, so once Baekhyun had parked in the parking lot closest to the auditorium, he walked to the main entrance, hoping the person that was waiting for him to pick up the instrument was right in the entrance waiting for him as well.

He walked into the theater, one he knew rather well from music competitions that were held at this school. It was also where the Orange County Symphony played, but he’d only seen them there a few times since his parents would always make the effort to drive up to LA to take him to see the LA Philharmonic instead.

“Hello?” He called out, not seeing anyone waiting for him once he stepped inside, and he tried to remember what exactly Chanyeol had told him, but he was pretty sure he had said the person would be waiting for him inside the entrance.

He walked down one of the aisles toward the stage, wondering if the person was in the back working.

“Hello?” He called out again, and then stopped when he saw the piano on the stage. It was the only thing on the stage, but now that he had gotten closer, he realized that it was a concert grand and looked imposing in the small space of this theater.

What was a concert grand even doing there? Whenever he had gone to competitions there, they had used baby grands at most, usually of the electrical variety. But this was a majestic ebony Steinway with a satin finish, and nothing in the world could keep Baekhyun from hopping up on the stage and touching it with his own two hands.

It felt magical. It felt invigorating, cool to the touch, but somehow sending a heat through Baekhyun that made him take a seat and test out the keys. If nothing else, he supposed that would get the attention of the person he was supposed to meet.

He played “Raindrops,” slow and methodically, remembering the night in Malibu when he had played the piano for the first time in forever. And now, playing again this second time, it seemed even less daunting, as if whatever curse he had placed on himself all those years ago had finally been broken.

As he played the final notes, he heard footsteps coming from behind him on the stage, and when he looked over his shoulder to begin apologizing to the person, his heart raced instead.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist playing it,” Kyungsoo said, his voice deep and low as he strolled over to him, hands in his jeans pockets and in his element on the stage.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asked, removing his fingers from the keys quickly, as if suddenly everything about the piano and him being there was forbidden.

Kyungsoo stood by the piano and looked at him, watching him for a moment, which made Baekhyun’s heart beat even faster.

“Looking for you,” Kyungsoo replied.

He knew Chanyeol’s request hadn’t made any sense. He should have trusted his gut instincts that something was off.

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him unsure and nervous.

“Minseok told me he went to talk to you. He told me he wanted to try and fix things. But I told him that it wasn’t his problem to fix. I know I’m the one that screwed this up.”

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head rapidly, “You didn’t. You told me, and I didn’t realize what you meant until it was too late. I was so stupid and thought all of this meant nothing to you. I never would have ended things like that if I had thought about it. I didn’t know what to do when Minseok told me what he did, so I just… it’s my fault.”

Kyungsoo seemed to consider him then rested his hand on the piano, taking a few steps so he was a bit closer to him as he looked at him.

“It’s not your fault. But it did hurt.”

Baekhyun’s heart constricted a bit.

“I’m so sorry,” he let him know. He needed him to know. “If it makes you feel any better, it hurt me too.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo said without any irony, surprising Baekhyun. “I could tell while you were telling me it was over. You were freaking out. Like you do.”

“I don’t…” Baekhyun began to defend but stopped himself. There was no point in defending against the truth. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We can’t be together, and you’re leaving soon enough.”

“But I miss you,” Kyungsoo said, looking down at his own fingers that rested on the top of the piano, and then he looked back at Baekhyun and asked, “Do you miss me?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun said, closing his eyes for a moment, holding back his emotions, and wishing he wasn’t so honest. He let out a breath and opened his eyes to look back up at Kyungsoo who watched him. “So much.”

Kyungsoo nodded, as if knowing the answer but still needing the confirmation. He let his hand drop onto the keys, striking a few of them.

“The song we wrote,” Kyungsoo said, reaching to the correct keys to play the intro of the song Baekhyun had come up with on that fateful day. “Each time I listen to it now, I don’t think about Luhan. I think about you.”

Baekhyun felt so many emotions then, but he didn’t know what they meant. He stared at Kyungsoo dumbfounded.

“It’s my turn to cry,” Kyungsoo continued, “You asked me that day to tell you about when things were hard with me and Luhan. You acted shocked that I could write a line like that about him.”

Baekhyun’s memory of that day came back to him, vivid and still a bit emotional for him.

“It just seemed, based on everything I’d been told, that you guys were always happy together,” Baekhyun explained.

“Most of the time we were, but the day I had to let him go wasn’t the first time we had to deal with those types of issues. There were always rumors, and there were times when he couldn’t come out to eat with us or be seen near me. It made him sad a lot. I think it’s because he was far from home. I was the only reason he hadn’t returned back to China. So on days when we couldn’t be together, I’d come home to find him sad. He missed home. He felt lonely. He was upset that we couldn’t be together. He was scared we’d be found out. And I’d turn his tears into smiles. I’d tell him that he wasn’t losing me. I’d kiss him and hold him and spoil him and sing songs to him to let him know that it was all worth it. That everything would be fine.”

“And then everything wasn’t,” Baekhyun finished for him, knowing these memories must have been painful for Kyungsoo anyway.

“We were younger,” Kyungsoo nodded. “And everything was new to us. Our relationship, the band’s rise to success, the money, the attention. We didn’t know how to deal with it.” And then Kyungsoo paused and swallowed, looking away for a moment before he looked back at Baekhyun and said, “I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“I can relate,” Baekhyun offered. He certainly hadn’t known how to deal with all of this. “But you didn’t really have any other choice, right? I mean, you can’t really blame yourself for what happened.”

“I blame myself every day for what happened. Just like I blame myself for you ending things between us.”

Baekhyun wanted to protest, but Kyungsoo didn’t give him the chance.

“I created my crazy situation,” Kyungsoo explained. “I could have stayed here and tried to make a music career happen, but I knew my chances were better there, so I pursued it. I didn’t want to be a career musician who popped up in features and had one hit and was forgotten. I wanted to be successful. I loved music so much that I wanted to prove it’s what I was destined to do. But I never wanted to be a celebrity. I had a goal and was so scared of missing the mark that I overshot it. And now this is my life. I don’t control my life. It controls me.”

“I understand that,” Baekhyun said, thinking of how his piano playing and concert pianist goals had taken control of his life in a way, but then he thought of his own epiphany after he had given it up. “But the thing is, it only controls you because you let it. You have the power to take control back, but you’d have to want it, and I don’t think you want it. I think having your career is too important to you.”

“You’re right,” Kyungsoo said, taking his fingers away from the keys and putting his hand back in the pocket of his jeans. “It’s why when I chose the band over Luhan, I made a pact with myself to never get in another relationship again. And then last year, I broke that pact because I was lonely and tired of being lonely. I met exactly the right person at the right time, or the wrong person at the wrong time if you ask anyone else.”

“And then when things ended with her, you went back to your pact,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I did, and then I met you.”

“Well now you can go back to it,” Baekhyun attempted to deflect. He couldn’t have this conversation. He was hurting enough from losing him. They didn’t need to revisit it. “Anyway, I should go,” Baekhyun said, feeling his chest start to constrict. He stood up from the bench.

Kyungsoo grabbed his wrist.

“I don’t want to go back to it,” Kyungsoo told him, and Baekhyun could make out the plea in his tone. “I want us to keep doing what we were doing.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, his voice quivering from exasperation and something else he couldn’t place then, “So that when it’s time for you to go back to your weird situation you can break my heart instead? It’s already broken. Just let it be. I can’t take it again.”

“I won’t break your heart,” Kyungsoo said, closing the gap between them as he turned Baekhyun to face him.

“It’s inevitable,” Baekhyun said, soft, his voice trembling too much to say it any other way.

“I won’t,” Kyungsoo said again, lifting his hand up to caress Baekhyun’s cheek and wipe a tear that had managed to escape without Baekhyun realizing. “Okay, so we have a deadline, and on that day we part ways, but we know it’s coming, and we’ll make the most of each day leading up to it.”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, which had begun to quiver.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, getting Baekhyun’s attention back on him, and he could see Kyungsoo fighting back his own set of emotions, “Instead of rehashing stories about your dumb ex that moved to New York, after this summer, you can tell people about your dumb ex that was married to his music. And they’ll be better stories anyway because they’ll involve fancy restaurants on the pier and Lunchables by random Korean monuments in LA. And I’m the one that got you to play the piano again. Stupid Kris has nothing on me.”

Baekhyun didn’t know how it was possible, but he cracked a smile because Kyungsoo was being very ridiculous right at that moment. Perfectly so.

“Now I see how you turned Luhan’s tears into smiles,” Baekhyun said, reaching up to wipe another stray tear from under his eye.

“I told you. It’s your song now. It has to be. We wrote it together. And the words fit. Kinda,” Kyungsoo said as he took his hand away from Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Kinda,” Baekhyun said, with another tiny smile.

“They’re close enough,” Kyungsoo said, with a small shrug and tiny smile of his own.

“I want my own song. With all the words about me and only me,” Baekhyun mandated with an upturned nose and demanding pout.

“Only if you write the music for it,” Kyungsoo said, amused.

Baekhyun sighed and gave a shy smile as he looked toward the piano, “I’m not sure I could. That night was weird. Inspirational and magical all at once.”

“We’re about to have three weeks more of inspiration and magic,” Kyungsoo said, now stepping close enough to him to place his hands on his hips. “I guess we’ll play it by ear.”

“This is crazy,” Baekhyun said, looking into Kyungsoo’s eyes and seeing the resolve within them. “And three weeks. It’s only three weeks,” he said more to himself.

“It’ll be the best three weeks ever. What pier are you taking me to next?”

Baekhyun didn’t think this was the best idea, but having Kyungsoo there in front of him, holding him, looking at him, making him smile—it all reminded him of how much he missed him and wanted him. Another three weeks with him was honestly a dream he thought he had lost. He realized then that he could bear the pain of losing him again if it meant having him a little tiny bit longer.

“Seal Beach has a nice pier,” Baekhyun said, finally reaching out to him to hold him as well, his hands settling on the sides of Kyungsoo’s smaller frame. “And it’s not as touristy, so it should be fine.”

“Let’s go now,” Kyungsoo said, his eyes looking up at him, round and pleading like a cat that wants treats and attention.

“Okay,” Baekhyun said.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo said back with a nod, “But first, I rented this piano for you. I thought maybe you’d like to play one of your audition pieces on a concert grand. Like you had dreamed of.”

“What?” Baekhyun said, looking back down at the piano. “You rented this?”

“Well, I considered buying it for you, but I had a feeling your place wasn’t big enough, and I don’t have a place to put it so…”

“You’re crazy,” Baekhyun said looking back at him, “Why would you rent this? This is not cheap to rent.”

Kyungsoo replied by kissing him, and Baekhyun melted into the soft lips he had come to love so much in the short amount of time he had been kissing them.

“Just shut up and play,” Kyungsoo said when he pulled away. The small smirk on his face made Baekhyun’s spine tingle.

Kyungsoo left the stage to take a seat in the front row, mentioning he had the best seat in the house for the piano concert of the century, and then, he procured a grocery bag from behind the seat and pulled out a bag of popcorn.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Kyungsoo told him.

Baekhyun laughed for a good five minutes, causing any residual tension he may have felt to disappear completely.

“You are such a mess,” Baekhyun told him as he took a seat on the bench.

“I know,” Kyungsoo said, tossing more popcorn in his mouth.

“You’re also really spoiled. I don’t play just for anyone.”

“I know that too,” Kyungsoo nodded, taking out a bottle of Coke from the bag as well, which made Baekhyun laugh for another five minutes.

He then took a deep breath and stared at the piano for a moment, thinking through the repertoire he had prepared for Curtis. He wouldn’t be able to remember all of the notes exactly. Though he had spent years perfecting each one, he had removed himself for so long that the precision with which he once played would be nearly impossible. But still, even though he hadn’t touched a piano in so long, his fingers had never stopped going over the notes, whether waiting for a meeting to start, or while reading through open bugs, or when watching Sehun wait for a perfect wave, his fingers usually played a piece, unconsciously.

So he played his audition repertoire, making less mistakes than he anticipated, knowing Kyungsoo wouldn’t notice or care. He found his groove, the one that used to take over his entire being when he was in a zone, and when he reached the Liszt piece that had sent him into the anxiety-induced breakdown that had ended his career, he found that now he could play it exactly as intended, with light touches and soft keys that Baekhyun did not make a single mistake during for his captive audience of one.

***

“Let’s live here,” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun after they had walked together up the pier, holding hands, and acting as if the awful moment in Malibu had never happened.

“In Seal Beach?” Baekhyun asked, giving Kyungsoo a side glance followed by a laugh, “I think you’d be bored living in a cozy little beachside town like this.”

“I like that it’s cozy. We could buy one of those condos right there,” Kyungsoo said, and he pointed to one of the many that lined the coast.

“My commute to work would be a little longer, but not bad,” Baekhyun mused along, and then he pointed to a telescope that was installed on the pier. “If you look through there, you can see Catalina.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo said, and he bent down enough to look through the lens, moving the telescope a bit until he proclaimed, “I see it.”

“Cool, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said, and then he straightened up and looked at Baekhyun, “Why haven’t we gone to Catalina? We should go.”

“Uh…” Baekhyun laughed and scratched the back of his neck as he looked out toward the island that sat far offshore. “I don’t know. It would have to be the next weekend.”

Kyungsoo considered him for a moment and took his hand into his again, lacing their fingers.

“When was the last time you took a vacation from work? Actual time off. As in used a vacation day?”

“Oh, my company has unlimited PTO, so we don’t technically get vacation days,” Baekhyun explained.

“Even better. Take the next three weeks off.”

“What?” Baekhyun laughed at the absurd joke. It had to be a joke. He couldn’t have meant it as an actual suggestion.

“Have you ever even taken a day off in the time you’ve been there? Have you ever even used a sick day?”

“I mean…”

“No,” Kyungsoo answered for him. “I know you well enough to know you probably haven’t.”

“I just work from home when I’m sick. I mean, whatever, what do you know? Do you even have sick days?”

“Not technically,” Kyungsoo told him. “But I am on vacation, and we have three weeks left together, and you should take them off so we can be on vacation together.”

“I can’t,” Baekhyun told him with a small laugh. “That’s not really how it works. We’re in the middle of some important projects, and I can’t just abandon my team.”

“Then two weeks. Tell them tomorrow that you need to take the next two weeks off. Get everything ready for them to do what they need to do without you for two weeks. I can have Minseok book our Catalina trip.”

“This is crazy,” Baekhyun said, already feeling like the day had been a whirlwind, and now this idea had been introduced.

“Are you feeling like you’re losing control?” Kyungsoo asked him, pulling him in closer to him and letting go of his hand to move it to Baekhyun’s waist instead. “Maybe that’s not the worst thing, right?”

“It’s terrible,” Baekhyun told him. “I can feel my nerves shaking.”

“I can help calm them,” Kyungsoo said, reaching up with his other hand to caress Baekhyun’s cheek.

“You’re the reason they’re shaking,” Baekhyun reminded him. He didn’t like the idea of breaking his routine that drastically, but spending two weeks with Kyungsoo nonstop sounded perfect.

Kyungsoo placed his lips on his, giving him the softest kiss yet, and Baekhyun felt like warm goo. The good sweet kind, like melted caramel.

“Take the time off,” Kyungsoo told him once their lips parted. “Please?”

“I hate you,” Baekhyun told him, and he went in for more soft kisses, somewhere in between saying, “okay,” and wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo to hold him closer.

They were being too careless, and it dawned on Baekhyun at some point. He pulled away to take Kyungsoo’s hand and lead him back down the pier.

“I’m not doing two weeks in Catalina though,” Baekhyun pointed out. “I’ve gone a few times with my family, and it always makes me feel like I’m too far away.”

“We have to get you over this fear you have of leaving the area,” Kyungsoo told him as he happily swayed their hands between them.

“It’s not a fear. It’s a personality quirk,” Baekhyun defended with a proud smirk.

“You seem to have a lot of those,” Kyungsoo jabbed.

“Hey! Whatever,” Baekhyun scoffed, “You’re the one that throws temper tantrums and stuff.”

Kyungsoo smiled at him, maybe amused, but it was nice to see him in such a good mood. Baekhyun almost couldn’t remember how moody he had been when they had first started hanging out.

“You know,” Baekhyun went ahead and ventured, “It seems like you and Chanyeol might be friends again. I mean, you did use him for your evil plot of luring me to Anaheim.”

“Well, I had to use someone,” Kyungsoo pointed out, then motioned toward a bench by a fisherman who seemed to be daydreaming instead of paying attention to his line.

Baekhyun followed Kyungsoo and they sat together on the bench, enjoying the view as Kyungsoo let his arm hang lazily behind Baekhyun. Baekhyun turned more toward him, crossing his leg in Kyungsoo’s direction.

“Just admit it,” Baekhyun said with a cheesy smile. “You missed him and are happy to have him back in your life.”

“I did miss him,” Kyungsoo admitted. “After you left, he kept checking up on me and trying to make me feel better. We finally had a heart-to-heart, I guess you could call it. He admitted that he couldn’t understand a lot of my decisions anymore, and I admitted that I was acting out. He said he worries about me. I said I worried about myself. I’ve been pretty selfish the past however many years.”

“Sometimes you have to be,” Baekhyun said to try and make him feel better.

“Sometimes, but not all the time. I’ve been selfish all the time. I apologized to him and Minseok for it. I put them through a lot these last couple of years, and they didn’t deserve it.”

“So no more temper tantrums and skipping out on interviews and photo shoots?”

“I don’t know about that,” Kyungsoo said, biting his lip a little, “I’m going to try. I don’t know why I act out the way I do, but I’m going to try and be more mature about things.”

“That’s hot,” Baekhyun told him.

“Is it?”

“Very. I’m more attracted to you now than I was five seconds ago.”

“That works out. I was attracted to you before, but now after your mini concert, I’m obsessed.”

“You’re so easy.”

“The easiest,” Kyungsoo agreed with a tease of a smile, holding Baekhyun’s hand again and resting their hands on his lap. “Can you stay with me tonight?”

“No,” Baekhyun said, and he shook his head with his nose upturned. “Because I’d have to go home and get all my clothes and things ready for work in the morning, and if I’m going home, then I’d rather just stay there.”

Kyungsoo watched him, amused, then said, “Is this your way of asking me to stay the night?”

“You are a grown man, and you can do whatever you want. I’m just saying that I’m sleeping tonight in the comfort of my own bed with my work-clothes accessible and my toiletries where they belong.”

“Do your work clothes involve a tie? Do I get to tie a tie on you in the morning?”

Baekhyun chuckled and said, “You haven’t met many QA testers in your life, have you? We wear jeans and nerdy shirts, sometimes ironically.”

“Who says you can’t wear a tie with a nerdy shirt?”

“Your kinks are weird,” Baekhyun teased.

“You’re weird,” Kyungsoo teased back.

The teasing led to more soft kissing, and to more teasing and playful poking, which inevitably led to more kissing.

If it hadn’t been for Sehun’s phone call interrupting them to ask what his plans for dinner were, Baekhyun imagined he would have stayed on that pier teasing and kissing Kyungsoo forever.

***

“This is an interesting turn of events,” Junmyeon mentioned to Baekhyun.

They stood beside each other in the kitchen, separating the food from the take-out containers that Sehun had brought over.

“I got conned back into it,” Baekhyun said, licking off stray marinara sauce that had landed on his thumb before continuing his task. “We agreed to ride it out for the three weeks he has left before he heads back to his real life.”

“Are you going to be okay doing that?” Junmyeon asked, closing his empty container after his eggplant parmesan, minus the parmesan, had all been transferred to his plate.

“I think I’m going to be okay doing it. I’m just not sure I won’t be a complete mess on that last day.”

“I’ll stock up on pizza rolls and Ben & Jerry’s for that night.”

“You’re a true friend,” Baekhyun told him, as he finished divvying up the portions perfectly onto three plates.

He and Junmyeon brought the plates over to the table where Kyungsoo was in the middle of showing Sehun the footage from Baekhyun’s impromptu piano concert that day.

“Hyunnie, it’s like you never stopped playing,” Sehun said, sounding as astounded as he looked. “You’re still great at it.”

“I messed up a bit at the beginning,” Baekhyun humbly said before heading back to the kitchen to get the parmesan and some cups for the wine. Kyungsoo had insisted they stop and pick a bottle up on the way home after Sehun had informed them he was in the mood for Italian.

“Start it over so I can watch,” Junmyeon said to Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun tried to make sure his cheeks didn’t turn pink from the praise they continued to shower upon his performance.

“So now that you’re playing again,” Sehun said, “does that mean you’ll play at my wedding like I always wanted you to?”

“You still want to get married?” Baekhyun asked with a chuckle. “I thought that dream ended when you and Tao ended things?”

“I have to get married. My parents said I can’t move out of the house until I get married so I have to at some point.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, looking at Sehun amused. It had only been a bit over a week, but Baekhyun had missed how endearing Kyungsoo found Sehun.

“Financial reasons,” Sehun explained. “My parents are very fiscally conservative and very overprotective, so they don’t believe it makes sense to waste my money on rent instead of saving it up for when I get married and have to buy a house. And they’re using that logic to keep me in the house because they’ve been paranoid about something bad happening to me again after my surfing accident.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo said in thought, then nodded, “That makes sense. I mean, not in a way where I think it’s fair to you, but I can see the logic. Are they okay with you marrying a guy?”

“Yeah, they don’t care who I marry as long as I get married to someone financially stable.”

“That tattoo guy didn’t seem financially stable,” Junmyeon commented, and Baekhyun almost choked on his piece of garlic bread he had been chewing on.

“The guy from the bar?” Sehun asked, looking at Junmyeon with a small bit of annoyance. “The guy that you tried to insult every way you could for no reason? He happens to be very financially stable. He owns his own custom-made furniture store and makes exclusive pieces for famous actors and musicians. Also, he owns his own home, unlike your, judgmental, still renting, still stuck as a data analyst that hasn’t gotten promoted to the position he wants, self.”

“Sehun,” Baekhyun scolded with wide eyes, and he looked toward Junmyeon to see his roommate looking down at his plate.

“Well,” Junmyeon said with a soft voice, and then he cleared his throat, “maybe you should marry him then.”

Sehun looked frustrated and let out a rather petulant sigh, then said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get to tell you before how upset I was about what you did that night.”

“I was drunk,” Junmyeon said, still looking down at his plate as he moved his fork around the sauce creating non-sensical patterns. “I apologize for my behavior.” And then he looked up at Sehun and said, “I want what’s best for you, and that came out in a really weird way while I was drunk. I’m sure that guy is a great guy, and I’m glad you had a good time with him.”

“I’m sorry too. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you renting or being a data analyst. I was just upset.”

“I think it’s really cool that you’re a data analyst,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun wanted to apologize to him for having to have witnessed the weird tension that had been building up between his two friends.

“It’s not that cool,” Junmyeon waved off, finally taking another bite of his meal. “I happen to be good at numbers, so it works for now.”

“What’s the position you want?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“I’m a creative person at heart,” Junmyeon explained to him, “So I want to lead the team that takes the insights from our predictive analytics and interprets them creatively to share with the industry. It’d be a way to further our reach past client work. And I’d like to be so successful in doing it that I could launch my own company that specializes in that. Someday.”

“You will,” Kyungsoo said with a smile. “You’re so smart. I’m jealous. I hated school and wasn’t great at math.”

“I loved school,” Junmyeon said with a smile of his own, which made Baekhyun feel a bit better about the situation. He was still going to need to have a word with Sehun though.

“Junmyeon is the smartest person I know,” Sehun agreed, now laying it on thick. “Baekhyun’s smart too, but in a different way.”

“Speaking of,” Junmyeon said as he hurried through his last bites, “I have to turn in early. I have an eight a.m. meeting in the morning.”

“I think I have morning meetings too,” Baekhyun said, noticing Sehun bite his bottom lip as he watched Junmyeon leave to put his plate in the sink.

“Then we should probably turn in early too,” Kyungsoo said with a way too cheesy smile.

“You’re terrible,” Baekhyun told him with a sarcastic laugh. “I’m getting you a blanket so you can sleep on the couch.”

“You’re a horrible host,” Kyungsoo told him with a silly pout.

Baekhyun laughed and collected their plates when done, taking them to the kitchen to rinse and put in the dishwasher. Kyungsoo stepped away to make some calls, and Sehun came over to Baekhyun and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“I screwed up. I know,” he said.

“Yes and no,” Baekhyun told him. “You guys really need to talk. There are things that need to be said between you guys that haven’t been said yet.”

“I told him I was sorry,” Sehun almost whined. “What more needs to be said?”

“Things need to be said. On both sides. And also, I can’t believe you attacked his job and financial status. I didn’t raise you like this.”

“I know that was a low blow. I didn’t mean it.”

“You did mean it, or else you wouldn’t have said it. You know how hard he works and how hard it is for him to watch other people get promoted over him.”

“I know,” Sehun whined again. “I’ll go apologize to him again. But I really didn’t mean it. I was just throwing it in his face because he was being so dumb about the guy from the bar.”

“Have you ever considered why he was being dumb about him?”

“No, why?”

Baekhyun shook his head and sighed, “Just go home and set up a lunch with him or something. You guys really should talk.”

Sehun left soon after, and Baekhyun turned off the lights and went to his room to pick up and straighten out his bed, removing some clothes he had tossed onto it and moving them to his desk chair instead.

“I just saw Sehun leave,” Kyungsoo said, walking into the room, “Is everything alright with him and Junmyeon?”

“Not at the moment,” Baekhyun said, then explained, “Sehun’s had a crush on Junmyeon forever but knew he never had a chance because Junmyeon was straight. Or so he thought. It turns out that Junmyeon had some latent awakening to the fact that he might be bisexual, or at the very least Sehun-sexual, and he has no idea how to deal with it. Sehun doesn’t know yet. It’s all a mess.”

“Oh, wow,” Kyungsoo said, looking rather surprised by this information. “That’s… that’s definitely a mess.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agreed as he grabbed some sweats and T-shirts from a drawer, “I’m going to take a quick shower before bed.”

“I should do that too,” Kyungsoo said.

“You can use Junmyeon’s…” but before he could finish the suggestion, Kyungsoo was walking toward him, shaking his head.

“You’re so spoiled,” Baekhyun said, a small giggle of excitement escaping as he went to start the shower.

A shower that, as expected by Baekhyun, turned into a hot and heavy make-out session that led to several awkward moments, “Ah, the water’s hot, wait,” “Hold on, I dropped the soap,” “Don’t laugh, that wasn’t meant to be a prison joke,” “Stop making fun of my products,” “Don’t slip!” and many more intense moments of pleasure that led them to stumble out wet and barely rinsed off. Baekhyun grabbed them towels, which they barely used before tumbling onto the bed.

And this time, it was Baekhyun’s turn to feel the intense heat of pleasure and wanting more than what he normally got. They only had three weeks together, and Baekhyun was going to make sure that each one counted.

So while he straddled Kyungsoo and assaulted his neck and jaw, he returned Kyungsoo’s sentiment from the last night they had been in bed together and sneaked his lips up to Kyungsoo’s ear to tell him the same thing Kyungsoo had told him then.

“I want to fuck you.”

And Kyungsoo reacted just as Baekhyun had, grabbing his face to kiss him hard and push his hips up against him as he spread his legs in anticipation.

Baekhyun wanted Kyungsoo to know how much he meant to him, to know how he felt about being with him again, and how important it was to him. He put all of his energy and emotions into making Kyungsoo feel pure elation that night that, by the time he finished, all he could do was collapse in Kyungsoo’s arms, unable to say what he wanted to say, or hear what Kyungsoo uttered to him before he passed out.


	22. Chapter 22

Coming home to Kyungsoo every day after work made Baekhyun feel warm, happy, and very spoiled. Especially when Kyungsoo had made sure to pick up food for them, or tidy up the house, something that in the years he had been living with Junmyeon, Baekhyun had never managed to get his roommate to do.

They fell into a routine that week, where Kyungsoo would welcome Baekhyun home with playful kisses and caresses, then they along with Junmyeon would sit at the table to eat dinner and trade boring work stories about how their day had gone.

Kyungsoo made sure each night to ask Junmyeon if he had gotten him the right vegan food, and Junmyeon would remind him that he didn’t need to get him any at all, to which Kyungsoo would state that it was the least he could do for letting him crash at their place all day while they were both at work.

Baekhyun loved that Kyungsoo had made himself at home and had felt comfortable enough there to work on some more lyrics during the day. While they relaxed after dinner, Kyungsoo would sing them to Baekhyun and ask his opinion.

“I love it,” Baekhyun would tell him. “But where’s the song about me?”

And Kyungsoo would tickle him until they were making out on the couch, Junmyeon having long retired to his room where he could avoid having to put up with them and their lovey dovey ways.

Baekhyun knew it had to be annoying for his roommate, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he was crushing on his first love all over again, and he wanted the feeling to last forever, so he did his best to maximize his time with Kyungsoo, which made him feel a bit guilty about not hitting up the beach to support Sehun during his training. Luckily Jongin had told Baekhyun that he had it covered and to not worry about Sehun while he was spending his last few weeks with Kyungsoo.

But those last few weeks quickly turned into only two weeks, and Baekhyun began to feel a bit nervous about their arrangement, knowing all too well how fast time passed.

Kyungsoo had taken Baekhyun’s Catalina comment to heart and had instead booked them a week-long stay in Santa Barbara.

“You said it was the furthest from home you’d been,” Kyungsoo told him when Baekhyun had given him a questioning glance, and then his heart had fluttered at the fact that Kyungsoo had remembered that tiny detail from all their conversations.

Baekhyun had made Kyungsoo do the majority of the driving up the coast, wanting to take advantage of the amazing views to get great photos. It was the first real vacation he had ever taken as an adult, and he already felt how liberating the idea was. He had no deadlines, no projects, no responsibilities, no demands, nothing, for the next week or so, and Baekhyun realized then how much he had needed to take actual time off.

They arrived in Santa Barbara around lunch time, and since they were too early to check in to their hotel, they decided to grab lunch at a sushi place on State Street, walking hand-in-hand up and down the heart of downtown Santa Barbara. Baekhyun made sure to take incredible shots of Kyungsoo with the stucco buildings and red tile roofs that gave Santa Barbara its distinctive Spanish Colonial flair.

A pleasant sea breeze kept them cool as they explored antique shops and stood in line for the best-known ice cream in town, which they then ate as they strolled a bit more.

“I always forget how perfect this place is,” Baekhyun mused, pausing to take another great shot of a colorful alleyway with boutique shops and a fountain in the middle of the path.

“I brought my mother up here for a getaway once,” Kyungsoo told him, “And she didn’t want to leave. I told her I could buy her a place up here, but then she said she wouldn’t want to live so far away from her friends.”

“I can understand that,” Baekhyun said, taking Kyungsoo’s hand into his once he had gotten his shot.

“I figured you would,” Kyungsoo teased him. “I imagine the idea of being away from Sehun for too long is part of why you don’t leave the area.”

The assessment was pretty spot on, and Baekhyun smiled at his own memory before he said, “I told Sehun that when I got into Curtis, he was going to have to come with me. He asked me how far away from Philadelphia was the nearest beach and what was its surfing conditions?”

“And what was the answer?”

“We went online to look and, after we found out, he told me that he’d just come visit me.”

Kyungsoo laughed at the answer and Baekhyun stared at him with a smile, thinking that he was going to miss Kyungsoo’s laugh more than almost anything else. He shook his head of the thought and they headed back toward the car since it was around time for them to finally check in.

***

When Kyungsoo had said that Minseok booked them for almost a week at a nice place in Santa Barbara, Baekhyun had expected… well he didn’t know what he expected. But he knew he hadn’t expected to walk into the elegant lobby of the five star hotel that sat on the beach with an amazing view of the ocean. And he definitely didn’t expect to not be staying in a hotel room.

“You’ll be escorted to your bungalow,” they were told by the desk clerk, and by the time Baekhyun wrapped his head around what that may have meant, they were being let into an actual seaside bungalow, complete with a dining area, living area with fireplace, a master bedroom that was surrounded by a wall of windows, and their own private garden patio that had a plunge pool and a fire pit.

Baekhyun stood speechless as Kyungsoo spoke with the porter and then gave him a tip, the man letting them know to call if they should need anything at all. Kyungsoo saw him out and closed the door behind him.

“So?” Kyungsoo said, turning to face Baekhyun, who still stood there stunned.

“What is this?” Baekhyun asked. “Kyungsoo, go get your money back, and we’ll go to the Holiday Inn. I’m not even joking.”

“I told you,” Kyungsoo said, walking toward him and settling his hands on his hips as he looked at him, “We’re going to make these last couple of weeks count.”

“You’re insane. How much does this place cost?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyungsoo said with a soft smile, “It’s my present to you for everything I’ve put you through in the time we’ve been together.”

“Well then we’re going to need a bigger bungalow,” Baekhyun joked, and Kyungsoo liked the joke so much his eyes turned crinkly. He then dropped his hands from Baekhyun’s hips so he could take Baekhyun’s hand instead to lead him around for their own small tour.

Baekhyun found it impossible to not document every room and detail, sending the pictures as he took them to Sehun, Junmyeon, and Jongin with comments like “Do you see this fireplace?!” and “We have our own pool!!!!”

“Sehun says hi,” Baekhyun let Kyungsoo know once they were done exploring and had lain down on the four-post bed to relax. All of the window shades were drawn, and Baekhyun felt as if he was resting outside in the lush tropical garden.

“Hi, Sehun,” Kyungsoo said, scrolling through his own phone and sending his own messages to people.

“He wants to know why he wasn’t invited since there’s room for three here,” Baekhyun said with a chuckle.

“Because he has to focus on practicing so he can win his competition,” Kyungsoo stated.

“Santa Barbara has pretty good waves. He could have practiced up here.”

“Next time,” Kyungsoo said, shifting to his side so he could pull Baekhyun into him and look down at him, “When I’m not too selfish to want you all to myself.”

Baekhyun smiled, but then lost the smile as he said, “Next time,” softly, more to himself.

“Hey, no,” Kyungsoo said, taking his phone away from him and reaching over Baekhyun to place it on the nightstand beside him, “Present time only. Nothing else exists. Right now, I want you all to myself.”

“Kinky,” Baekhyun teased, and his cheeks may have gone a little pink.

“Oh, you like the possessive thing,” Kyungsoo observed, running his hand up the side of Baekhyun’s torso, which did things to Baekhyun and made him a little breathless at the moment.

“I think I like anything you do,” Baekhyun flat out admitted. “I don’t know how this happened. I thought you were such a jerk when I first met you, and now I can’t imagine you not being in my life.”

“I’m trying to put moves on you, and you turned this into a sentimental moment,” Kyungsoo said, and he laughed, his eyes even more crinkly now.

“Sorry, sorry,” Baekhyun said, laughing at himself, “Go back to the possessive thing. I’m all yours.”

“You killed it. I should have brought Sehun,” Kyungsoo lamented.

“Hey!” Baekhyun said, giving his arm a light slap, “You only want me. I’m the only one you’re thinking about right now. Focus.”

Kyungsoo buried his head into Baekhyun’s chest overcome with laughter, his shoulders shaking as he let the amusement of the moment take over him.

This was all that Baekhyun wanted and had wanted since those early days of their time together—a happy Kyungsoo, worry-free, not stuck in his thoughts, enjoying the life he had sacrificed so much for.  The fact that he was all these things at that moment, while in Baekhyun’s arms, was even better than Baekhyun could have imagined on that first day they had spent together doing a photo shoot in Santa Monica.

***

After their nap, they played in the pool, and though they could have done so naked, they wore their swim trunks since Kyungsoo said they’d be having dinner in their patio and didn’t think they should scare the staff on their first night.

Even though they couldn’t see the ocean from their private enclave, Baekhyun could hear it, and at one point he rested his head on his arms on the side of the pool and listened to the waves just beyond the palm trees and tropical plants surrounding him. He let his thoughts run away from him, daydreaming about him and Kyungsoo living together there forever, Kyungsoo writing songs for his new American-based career and Baekhyun working remotely and photographing all the sunsets that Santa Barbara could give him.

Instead of getting upset that it couldn’t be their reality, he simply pretended that it already was, and when Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him away from the wall of the pool, Baekhyun chuckled and turned around to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and give him another of the hundreds of kisses he felt he had given him since they had woken up from their nap in the four-post bed.

Dinner was brought by two staff members who lit the candles and hanging lanterns of their outdoor patio and placed their food and bottles of wine on the table, leaving them to enjoy their meal in privacy.

Baekhyun had changed into sweats and a baseball jersey and padded back out to the patio to find Kyungsoo, who had changed much quicker than he had, pouring their wine for them.

“I have never been this spoiled in my life,” Baekhyun said, taking a seat at the table where steak, salad, and what appeared to be a bowl of ramen sat in front of them.

“That’s two points I have over Kris,” Kyungsoo said with a small fist pump for himself.

“You have like a hundred over him at this point,” Baekhyun assured him, “I’m probably still trailing Luhan by a lot.”

“Nah, you’ve pulled ahead,” Kyungsoo said with a smile, lifting his glass up to him so they could toast and taste the wine, which was rather dry with a subtle hint of something fruity. Baekhyun was no wine connoisseur so that was the best description he could offer when asked if he liked it.

“I’m not much of a wine drinker either,” Kyungsoo assured him. “I went off the chef’s recommendation of what goes well with the steak.”

“So how did I pull ahead?” Baekhyun asked getting back to important matters as he took his first bite of his steak. Kyungsoo chuckled, and Baekhyun insisted he tell him, “Unless you were lying…”

“I wasn’t lying. I told you. After you played the piano, I became obsessed. Luhan’s a songwriter. You guys have the music genius thing in common, but the way you played… I don’t know if I can describe it. And your photography, and your general way of life and attitude. It makes me feel calm. It makes me feel like I’m really home. And it didn’t matter if we were in Huntington or Newport or Malibu or here. You always make me feel the same.”

“They do say home is where the heart is,” Baekhyun lamely said, not able to come up with better words because his cheeks had warmed and his brain had gotten a bit fuzzy. He’d like to blame the wine, but he’d only had two sips, so he had to acknowledge that Kyungsoo’s words had worked their magic on him.

“I think that’s true,” Kyungsoo said, looking at him for a moment, and then cutting himself another piece of steak.

Baekhyun changed the subject for self-preservation.

“I know that on the drive up we talked about the pier and sightseeing, but I have to be honest. I’d be perfectly fine if we just stayed in our bungalow the whole time.”

Kyungsoo smiled and said, “I knew you were going to like it.”

“Who wouldn’t like this?” Baekhyun said, and as he stared at a satisfied Kyungsoo, he thought to  himself, _Who wouldn’t like you?_

“We don’t have to leave the bungalow if you don’t want,” Kyungsoo then assured him. “We can do whatever we want. It’s our week. All ours. We can order pizza and veg out by the fireplace all week long.”

“Why does that sound so amazing?”

“Because you’ve never taken a vacation in your life and didn’t know such unwinding was possible.”

Okay, maybe he had a point, but still, the idea of not leaving their bungalow sounded like the perfect way to spend their second to final week together.

That was until the next morning when they decided to do breakfast at one of the hotel’s restaurants and Baekhyun found that he very much needed to be eating breakfast by the ocean as well this week, so maybe they could leave for breakfast with a view, and maybe lunch, and possibly dinner.

“Okay, maybe we should hang out at the pier for a little bit,” Baekhyun then conceded once he was done with his huevos rancheros.

“I didn’t think you’d last 24 hours without wanting to take pictures of the water,” Kyungsoo mused, finishing up his mimosa.

“You know me too well,” Baekhyun confirmed.

So they headed to the pier and were greeted by the warm noon sun, walking as they held hands and enjoying ice cream cones they had bought as soon as they had spotted an ice cream store.

“I know that the ice cream we had yesterday was supposed to be the best ice cream in town, but I like this one just as much,” Baekhyun felt the need to point out.

Kyungsoo nodded as he took another lick of his ice cream, then said, “I’m enjoying this one as much as the one yesterday.”

“It must be because we’re on vacation. Vacation ice cream tastes the best no matter what.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at him and sneaked a small peck onto his cheek, the cold touch of Kyungsoo’s ice-cream-kissed lips making Baekhyun warm as the sun above them.

As they strolled by the many buildings on the pier, Baekhyun pointed out one house structure with a curious sign.

“Look, a palm reader,” he said. “Who sets up a palm reading shop on a pier?”

“That’s random,” Kyungsoo said, squinting through his sunglasses to look at the sign better. “Want to go get our palms read?”

“So they can tell us that we’ll have a long life and lots of riches? No thank you,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh.

“I want to do it,” Kyungsoo said, his voice earnest.

Baekhyun blinked and looked at him and blinked again.

“Really?”

“I have a weird life,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “I’m always looking for signs.”

“I mean, okay. If you want. Have you ever had your palm read before?”

“Once before,” he nodded, “It was very accurate.”

“Palm reading it is then,” Baekhyun said, taking the last bite of his waffle cone before walking in.

Baekhyun wasn’t the type to believe in things like palm readings or astrology or anything like that. He remembered Sehun had gone through a phase where he wanted to figure out star charts, but Baekhyun couldn’t get into it the way Sehun had.

They walked into a cozy parlor decorated with candles, décor, knick-knacks, and framed prints, all of the spiritual variety. Baekhyun wanted to laugh a little, thinking about how very put-on this all was, but he supposed people paid for the full experience—Buddhas, Tibetan sculptures, lucky cats, and all.

Kyungsoo paid for the both of them, insisting that it was his idea and that he knew Baekhyun didn’t care for it so he shouldn’t spend his money on it. Baekhyun didn’t argue, though between their extravagant accommodations and now this, he did think he’d have to pay for something at some point. Maybe he’d buy Kyungsoo dinner that night.

The woman that greeted them once they entered the room where the palm reading would be done was younger than Baekhyun thought she would be, and she had a very pleasant disposition and a radiant energy to her that could be felt immediately.

“We’ll start with you,” she said to Baekhyun, motioning for him to open his palm for her, and he did so, trying very hard to keep himself from erupting into chuckles. “Oh, you have very powerful lines.” She traced the lines on his hand with her own finger, and he held back from sarcastically asking if it meant he was going to have a long life and be rich.

“Hard working,” she continued, “but self-destructive,” she added as she turned his palm a little, and he pouted.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m not…”

“Yes you are,” Kyungsoo told him before he could continue protesting.

“You have a lot of heart,” she went on, apparently accustomed to people’s outbursts, “You care deeply for those you care about. Honesty is important to you. You need to always make sure to be honest with people.”

Baekhyun felt very exposed and wanted her to just say he’d be rich and have a long life already. This was not what he had been expecting at all, and he felt a bit thrown off by it.

“You’re very set in your ways,” the palm reader said, “You are who you are, and no one is going to change that.”

Baekhyun did always pride himself on his consistency.

“Your disposition attracts people, and this is how you will find true love. If you allow yourself to with your independent nature.”

Baekhyun may have blushed.

“Your heart line is good, as is your head line. You have a gift for reasoning and logic, and you will become very successful and powerful if you use your gifts to the fullest.”

“Um, thanks?” Baekhyun said once she let his hand go.

The palm reader then took Kyungsoo’s hand, appearing to have great interest as she studied it for a moment in silence. Baekhyun wondered why she didn’t study his this intently first.

“You know what you want, and you always go after it,” she said, and Kyungsoo nodded. “Smart, intelligent,” she continued, “strong creativity. You have a strong connection to your past life. It’s very interesting.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow and Baekhyun raised both of his. Why didn’t he get a comment about his past life? He wanted a strong connection to his past life, even though he was fairly certain that things like past lives didn’t exist.

“Because of this, you unconsciously use a lot of what you had learned. This would affect your talent and creativity the most,” she then pointed out as she ran her finger across another line, “You are also insecure.”

Unlike Baekhyun, Kyungsoo did not protest this slight against his character and instead nodded and continued to pay attention. Baekhyun was more mesmerized by Kyungsoo’s intense attention to the palm reading than he was by the palm reading itself.

“You’re romantic, have a lot of fantasies, are a dreamer.”

Baekhyun smiled, thinking of all the times Kyungsoo sat on the beach, staring off in thought instead of writing his lyrics.

“You have strong logic. You do what you need to do, but you need to be more positive. You could go further in your goals if you are more positive. You don’t have a defined line of fate, so it is up to you to make your own fate.”

Baekhyun was pretty sure it was up to everyone to make their own fate, but she hadn’t even mentioned his line of fate at all, so what did he know.

They left the palm reader and headed back out into the bright sun, and Baekhyun took a glance at Kyungsoo and asked, “Did you get the sign you were looking for?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Kyungsoo said. “I’ll have to think more about what she said.”

“I’m jealous she didn’t talk about my past life,” Baekhyun admitted. “Does that mean I didn’t have one? What was your past life like? Do you have fond memories?”

Kyungsoo looked amused, knowing that Baekhyun was mocking him, and he replied, “In my past life, I was a pier builder. I knew one day someone would want to photograph piers, so I worked extra hard to make sure the piers were perfectly photographable.”

“Wow, I bet you looked hot in your past life building those piers,” Baekhyun said with a silly grin, which made Kyungsoo give him a silly smile back.

“So what did you think of your first palm reading experience?”

“I’m disappointed that I still don’t know if I’ll have a long life or be rich.”

“She said you’d be powerful and successful if you used your gifts to the fullest. Like maybe if you started showing your photography, you’d be a successful photographer.”

“So it’s up to me to make my own fate too? Because she didn’t tell me that. She only told you that.”

“Because it’s not what you needed to hear. It’s what I needed to hear. They know we come in for a reason, and maybe they don’t know the reason exactly, but they can sense it. They give us the answers we need, even if we don’t understand them at the time.”

“You really believe this stuff, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what I believe,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “But I don’t rule out possibilities.”

Baekhyun thought about this for a moment, then realized it was something he’d have to think about further later as well, along with what the palm reader had told him, he supposed.

They explored the pier further, even going to the Sea Center to look at some rays and sharks, Baekhyun taking an endless amount of pictures of Kyungsoo admiring the jellyfish in the aquariums of the jellyfish exhibit. Then they took a break in the Sea Center’s theater, resting their feet and watching a movie about the sea life in the Santa Barbara Channel.

Once they were back outside, Baekhyun took more pictures of the incredible views of Santa Barbara from the pier, always having loved the idyllic hillside dotted by the white houses with red roofs. He found the homogeneity peaceful and pleasing.

As he stared out at the beautiful city, he noticed that Kyungsoo took pictures of him. In fact, Kyungsoo had taken quite a number of pictures of him that day, and while Baekhyun had acted goofy for some and pretended not to notice for others, he felt a bit bittersweet about it. In one way, he loved that Kyungsoo felt the need to get as many pictures of him before their time was up, but on the other hand, it hurt Baekhyun to understand that Kyungsoo, too, very much felt the effects of their dwindling time together.

When they decided it was time to get dinner, Kyungsoo didn’t even allow Baekhyun to entertain the idea of buying his dinner for him.

“I already checked the prices and reviews,” Kyungsoo explained. “It’s completely overpriced and the food isn’t that great.”

“Then why are we going there?” Baekhyun asked as he followed him inside the restaurant, which bustled with a pre-dinner crowd.

“Because out of all the restaurants on this pier, it was the one with the best rating. We have to have at least one meal on the pier while we’re here. It’s our tradition.”

Baekhyun smiled and wanted to hug him, and kiss him, and smother him with affection right then, but instead he wrapped his arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze since they were in public. It would have to do for now.

After a short wait, they were seated at a table for two, right by the window with a perfect view of the boats docked in the marina.

“So, since the food is crap, should we get the least expensive things on the menu?” Baekhyun asked as he looked over the selection.

“So the onion rings?” Kyungsoo suggested.

“A half portion of their house salad is only $9.95,” Baekhyun pointed out. “Wait, that’s the same price as the onion rings. Onion rings it is.”

“A cup of clam chowder is $7.95,” Kyungsoo pointed out with a snicker. “It’s the cheapest thing on their menu.”

“How big do you think that cup is?”

“You mean how small?” Kyungsoo played along.

Their server came by to take their drink orders and they opted to try some specialty cocktails, in case the food really was that bad. Kyungsoo ordered a gin and tonic while Baekhyun went with a Mai Tai. There drinks came out to them just as they were served sourdough bread to start.

“Well the bread’s good,” Kyungsoo stated after he took the first bite.

“There’s hope yet,” Baekhyun agreed after he tried it as well, and then he tried a sip of his Mai Tai and added, “My drink is really rummy. You might have to carry me back to the hotel.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you really drunk.”

“It’s not pretty. I mostly just shut down and want to go to sleep.”

“When I’m truly drunk, I get loud and talkative,” Kyungsoo stated, and Baekhyun was surprised.

“Really? I’ve only ever seen you get moody when you seem to be getting drunk.”

“Well, if I start off in a good mood and get drunk, then I get loud and talkative,” Kyungsoo modified.

“I see,” Baekhyun said with a nod. “Well once we get back to the hotel, we’ll have to get more drinks in you so I can see this for myself.”

“Maybe we can just order drinks all night and eat this bread as our meal.”

“Let’s do it,” Baekhyun said, finding this idea so funny that he let out a loud laugh without meaning to.

But they decided to not be those types of customers and instead ordered onion rings and fried calamari to start. They decided to order different entrees, Kyungsoo ordering salmon and Baekhyun ordering shrimp scampi, so they could taste each other’s and decide who had ended up with the worst meal. The loser had to drink the restaurant’s signature cocktail, which was 38 ounces and consisted of five rums. Baekhyun hoped he won for Kyungsoo’s sake, otherwise he really was going to have to carry him back to the hotel.

Kyungsoo’s phone lit up, which it hadn’t done on their trip as much as Baekhyun was used to seeing it light up. Kyungsoo frowned a bit, bit his lip, and declined the call, turning his phone over on the table so it faced down.

“Your dad?” Baekhyun asked, having seen the word “Dad” pop up on the top of the screen.

“Yeah, he’s…” Kyungsoo began and then didn’t seem to know how to finish, so he took another sip of his gin and tonic instead.

“Your dad,” Baekhyun offered as a point of fact. “Dads are so dad sometimes.”

Kyungsoo half-smiled in amusement then shook his head and said, “My mom thinks there’s something wrong with me since I haven’t been back at my place for a while. I told her I was working on my solo album, but she freaked out anyway. She’s like that. So she called my dad to tell him she’s concerned about me, and now he’s calling to find out what’s wrong with me. I already told him I was fine, but he doesn’t believe me and keeps calling.”

“You should call him back and tell him you’re perfectly fine and having a great time with me,” Baekhyun offered with a cheesy smile.

But Kyungsoo didn’t return the cheesy smile and instead looked to the side toward the water, getting lost in his thoughts again, and then he looked back at Baekhyun.

“My dad doesn’t know about… me. About that part of me,” Kyungsoo clarified, and it took a moment for Baekhyun to understand what he meant.

“Oh. He didn’t know about Luhan?”

“No. I never told him. I mean,” Kyungsoo looked almost frustrated as he seemed to think back on something, and then he continued, “He heard the rumors. Mostly from my mom who kept an eye on everything that was written and said about me. They both asked me why people would say those things about me and Luhan, and I told them that people liked to make things up and gossip for their own entertainment. They never brought it up again, and, you know, once Luhan was out of the picture, it wasn’t an issue anymore.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, not sure what to say to that, but then a question popped into his mind, “Do you think your parents really believed you? I mean, did they never really suspect it might be true? Because I remember when I was in high school, my parents very deliberately started a conversation during dinner about how they wouldn’t have a problem with me being gay if there was something I wanted to tell them. So like, you know, they knew.”

“I think they suspect,” Kyungsoo confirmed. “My parents haven’t believed me for a long time about things, so I think they suspect it might have been true. But they never brought it up again.”

“Well good thing we’re ending things soon. You won’t have to worry about introducing me to them,” Baekhyun joked.

“I wish I could though,” Kyungsoo then said, “I would love to introduce you to them and tell them that you’re the reason I haven’t been a drunken mess the entire summer.”

“You’d be lying, since you’re going to be a drunken mess after my shrimp scampi beats your salmon.”

“My salmon is going to own your scampi.”

“You know, if you want, you could meet my parents when we get back,” Baekhyun thought out loud. “I think it’d be nice to introduce you to them, so that when I talk about that amazing summer fling I once had, they’ll understand since they’ll have met you and seen for themselves how cool you are.”

“I would love to meet your parents. I have so many questions for them,” Kyungsoo said just as their server came to the table with their two appetizers.

“Like what?” Baekhyun asked as he reached for an onion ring.

“We should have made a bet on the appetizers,” Kyungsoo mused, then he said, “Um, like, I want to know what they thought of Kris.”

“You are so obsessed with my relationship with Kris,” Baekhyun chided him.

“You already know I’m possessive. I hate that guy.”

Baekhyun laughed, and Kyungsoo chuckled as well.

“Either way, I can answer that question for you. They liked him. They knew he made me happy and that I was really into him, so they liked him.”

“I also want to ask them why they haven’t formally adopted Sehun.”

“They practically have,” Baekhyun said with a snort.

“And I want to ask them what’s their favorite memory of you.”

“Probably when I quit playing piano,” Baekhyun snorted again.

“I doubt it,” Kyungsoo said, the smile and light mood back on his face as he tried the calamari.

“The onion rings aren’t bad,” Baekhyun mentioned.

“The calamari’s not bad either.”

And they said the same thing about their entrees when they finally came out. Neither were anything special, and both were certainly overpriced, but they weren’t bad. In the end, however, Baekhyun had to concede that the salmon was better than his scampi.

Kyungsoo offered to go half and half with him on the drink, but Baekhyun insisted that a bet was a bet, and he made it through three quarters of the strong drink before Kyungsoo helped him out by finishing the rest.

When they got back to the hotel, Baekhyun already felt like he needed to find the bed fast, but at least before he passed out from all the alcohol, he got to witness, and be thoroughly amused by, a chatty and loud Kyungsoo.


	23. Chapter 23

Kyungsoo’s brilliant idea for dealing with their hangovers was to have brunch, then go to a local winery for some wine tasting, followed by more ice cream, and more walking up and down State Street. And though they vowed each day after to stay in and lock themselves away from the world, there was so much more to explore, like the mission, and UCSB, where Kyungsoo and Baekhyun walked around the campus and made up stories about what it would have been like if they both had gone to college there.

“You would have always been at the beach watching Sehun surf,” Kyungsoo had pointed out.

“You would have been at the beach watching me watching Sehun surf,” Baekhyun had teased back.

It wasn’t until their last night that they truly decided to stay in. After lazy lounging around, playful making out, skinny dipping in their private pool, intense lovemaking, roasting S’mores over their patio fire pit, and more playful making out, they finally did order pizza and settle in by the fireplace for the night, Baekhyun feeling more satisfied and loved up than he had ever felt in his life.

“I don’t want to go back to reality tomorrow,” Baekhyun confessed as he ate his slice of pepperoni and sausage.

“Is it really reality?” Kyungsoo challenged him with a smirk. “You’re still on vacation, and we’re still going to hang out for a whole other week.”

“I guess I could look at it that way,” Baekhyun said, “But you are going to have to go back to Malibu at some point to finish your album, right?”

“At some point, yes.”

“I saw you writing in your notebook,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “You were scribbling a lot when we were at the beach yesterday.”

“This trip gave me some ideas.”

“Do any of the songs have to do with someone whose first name rhymes with Rake-hyun?”

Kyungsoo snorted and threw a packet of parmesan at him.

“You’re stupid,” Kyungsoo said.

“I want my song,” Baekhyun whined.

“Only Sehun gets a song.”

“Is it about riding on his surfboard? Surfboard,” Baekhyun sang, like they were back at the bonfire on the beach, singing along to Chanyeol’s guitar strumming all over again.

“Beyonce’s got nothing on the song I wrote for Sehun,” Kyungsoo said, then laughed, not able to keep up the ruse. “I have branched out from Luhan though. I focused my attention on my relationship with my parents and started writing songs about that.”

“Oh, wow,” Baekhyun said and paid closer attention, “That’s really good though. It is your album to get everything off your chest.”

“It is,” Kyungsoo agreed as he sprinkled more red pepper flakes on his next slice. “Some of the lyrics are apologetic, which is what I intended, but the more I wrote, the more they started getting angrier. I don’t think I realized I was angry at my parents as well. I wrote this one line, ‘Why can’t you see I’m who you wanted me to be?’ and I felt so frustrated after I wrote it because it’s really how I’ve felt for so many years now.”

“That’s a really great line,” Baekhyun told him, already imagining the angst in his voice when he sang it later in the studio.

“I started picking it apart though after. And I changed it to, ‘Why can’t you see I’m who you raised me to be?’ because I started thinking that maybe they didn’t want me to be who I became, but they didn’t realize they raised me to be this way. And then I had the moment where I realized it was both. My parents wanted me to be successful and happy. They raised me to believe in myself and follow my goals and to never give up. They made me believe I could have whatever I wanted if I worked hard enough for it.”

“And you did,” Baekhyun nodded, his attention so completely on Kyungsoo in that moment that he didn’t bother picking up a new slice of pizza. “And they have to be proud of you for it. Even if they don’t show it.”

“But they’re not, and the more I thought about what the palm reader told me, the more I think I understood why.”

Baekhyun went silent because he hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to bring the palm reader into this, but then he cleared his throat and said, “Really? The palm reader?”

“She said I’m insecure,” Kyungsoo reminded him. “And it’s true. I’m always trying to prove something. To myself. To my bandmates. To my parents.”

“You don’t seem insecure to me at all,” Baekhyun said. “But then again, when I first met you, you were in rock star mode.”

“The best thing about hooking up with strangers is that you can pretend to be whatever you want for one night, and they’ll never know any better.”

“But I got to know you, and you still don’t seem insecure.”

“I am,” Kyungsoo told him. “I never think I’m good enough. I keep living my life as if I’m two seconds away from failing and destroying everything I’ve worked hard for. And… I think it’s because I’m not being honest about who I am.”

Baekhyun stayed silent as he considered this, which prompted Kyungsoo to continue.

“The palm reader said that you value honesty. ‘Honesty is important to you. You need to always make sure to be honest with people.’ That’s what she said.”

”She did say that,” Baekhyun agreed, not sure why he thought that was important.

“She didn’t need to say that to you. You already knew that about yourself. I think she said that so I could hear it. It was clear we were together. I think she sensed that I needed to know that that was something you really valued, which means that I’m not being someone worthy of you.”

“Whoa,” Baekhyun said, moving his hands fast as if telling him to stop. “Soo, you are very worthy of me. And also, you’re basing this off a palm reader. They’re paid entertainers.”

“Paid entertainer or not, she was right.”

“She wasn’t. Being honest about everything except one thing that has major consequences attached to it doesn’t make you a dishonest person. You’re overthinking the stuff she told us. Let the palm reader go.”

But Baekhyun knew that Kyungsoo needed his signs too badly to let it go, which made Baekhyun wonder if he should consider some of her words more carefully.

As he lay in bed, naked and in a tangled mess with a sleeping Kyungsoo, Baekhyun ran his fingers over Kyungsoo’s upper arm in a lazy pattern and considered if anything that had been said to Kyungsoo had been intended for Baekhyun’s knowledge instead. He vaguely remembered mentions of “creativity, past lives, romanticism, dreams,” but most of that stuff he had figured out about Kyungsoo on his own anyway. Except the past lives thing. That was still weird. Baekhyun shook his head at the stupidity of entertaining this idea and let himself fall into a deep, satisfied, and warm sleep instead.

***

The drive down from Santa Barbara felt bittersweet to Baekhyun, and even a stop to check out the pier in Ventura along the way didn’t calm his feelings. He felt as if he could physically feel time running out for them, and when Kyungsoo mentioned for Baekhyun to drop him off in Malibu instead, Baekhyun frowned and threatened to kidnap him instead.

“I got a lot of good inspiration this week,” Kyungsoo had explained to him, reaching over to smooth some of Baekhyun’s messy hair back from the side of his face. “I need to get it recorded.”

Baekhyun had given a long suffering sigh, but being the understanding and supportive summer boyfriend that he was, he had driven Kyungsoo to Mike’s house and given him a million kisses and hugs before letting him walk through Mike’s door.

“Don’t worry. We’ll return him to you in one piece,” Chanyeol had said with a smile, taking Kyungsoo’s hand to lead him away, presumably straight to the studio.

So it was alone, and trying not to freak out about how he was losing a whole day with Kyungsoo when they only had a week left together, that Baekhyun arrived home.

“I’m back!” He announced as he walked into the apartment, hoping Junmyeon was in so he could start telling him all about his trip, and then he paused as he saw Junmyeon and Sehun on the couch of their living room.

Only they hadn’t been sitting next to each other with a comfortable amount of space between them or anything that made sense like that. Instead, Sehun had had his head resting on Junmyeon’s shoulder, at least until Baekhyun had interrupted the moment. Now the two friends sat staring at Baekhyun surprised.

“You’re back,” Junmyeon finally said with a quick smile.

“Hey, you’re back,” Sehun reiterated, also with a quick smile.

“I’m back,” Baekhyun confirmed, dropping his bag to the floor next to the small rolling suitcase he had brought along. “And you guys look like you’ve made up and are being friends again.”

“Uh…” Junmyeon said, and his cheeks rose a little, “Maybe you should sit for a second.”

“You’re being so dramatic,” Sehun said to Junmyeon with a teasing laugh, and Junmyeon gave him a teasing smile back.

Baekhyun sat down, both fascinated and disturbed.

“Uh, yeah,” Junmyeon said, looking back at Baekhyun. “So, while you were gone, I went to the beach to watch Sehun practice and finally confront him about things.”

“This story’s taking too long,” Sehun waved off, “He told me how he felt about me, and I jumped him.”

“Literally,” Junmyeon pointed out, “Which was shocking because he’s a giant.”

“Either way, he took me to dinner, and we talked and decided we were meant to be.”

“Why are you like this?” Junmyeon said, smacking Sehun on the arm in a playful gesture, and then he looked at Baekhyun, “We went to dinner and talked. I told him that this was new for me, and he said he understood.”

“And I came home with him and spent the night,” Sehun said with excitement. “To help him get over the newness.”

“Sehun Oh, you are shameless,” Baekhyun told him, glad he was able to respond to something. Baekhyun shouldn’t have found this all shocking knowing what he knew, but still, his best friend and roommate were now together. Life was so weird.

“He has really helped me settle into all this better,” Junmyeon said with a soft smile toward Sehun. “I wish I had had the courage to confront the issue earlier.”

“Everything happens when it’s supposed to,” Baekhyun assured him. “Congrats. I’m really happy for the both of you.”

“Thanks,” they both said at the same time with cheesy smiles, and Baekhyun’s heart ached because their adorableness together and happiness at their mutual feelings for each other was something that would last as long as they wanted it to without any deadlines looming over them.

“So how was your trip?” Sehun asked, “Other than the part where you stayed in a luxury villa and flaunted it for all of us to see.”

“Your pictures were amazing,” Junmyeon agreed.

“It was like a dream,” Baekhyun said. “I wish we didn’t have to leave. I wanted to never leave.”

“I bet,” Junmyeon said, losing a bit of the cheesiness that had been on his face to make room for the understanding look he gave him. “Do you guys have big plans for this week?”

“Supporting Sehunnie,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “Kyungsoo’s in Malibu finishing his album, but when he’s done, he’ll join me on the beach to make sure you’re ready to win this weekend.”

“I was born ready,” Sehun said.

“You’ve already won as far as I’m concerned,” Junmyeon told him, and Sehun grinned so wide that Baekhyun decided he’d leave the two new lovebirds alone since he was sure they wouldn’t appreciate his gagging every time they showed affection.

Once Baekhyun had crawled into his bed for the night, he sent a text message to Kyungsoo:

_So guess what happened while we were gone? Sehun and Joons got together. They’re officially together, and they’re so cute I want to throw up. Anyway, hoping the album is going well. Fighting!_

Baekhyun laughed at himself for being silly, but it couldn’t be helped. He was still in a good mood, even if the dread of everything that he’d be losing sat heavy in his stomach.

He didn’t bother waiting for a reply, knowing Kyungsoo well enough now to know he was probably in his zone. Instead, he put his phone under the pillow beside him and played back the memories of their amazing trip until he fell asleep.

***

Baekhyun’s misery only lasted one whole day, and when Kyungsoo showed up at Baekhyun’s door the following night, he was swept up in an embrace and smothered with kisses. Barely two words were spoken before they were in Baekhyun’s bed reconnecting from their day apart.

When they woke up the next morning, Baekhyun decided to make Kyungsoo breakfast, but he found that Junmyeon was in the kitchen already, having had the same train of thought for Sehun.

“You’re cooking bacon?” Baekhyun asked confused for a moment as he took some eggs from the carton.

“Sehun needs a hearty breakfast before he hits the waves today,” Junmyeon said with a smile, humming to himself as he turned the bacon over in the pan.

“I can’t believe how sprung you are over Sehun,” Baekhyun teased him.

“It happens to the best of us,” Junmyeon shrugged, still smiling.

“Well let’s combine our forces for our guests. I was going to make Kyungsoo scrambled eggs.”

“I was going to do the same for Sehun. I already cut up veggies to make a veggie scramble,” Junmyeon nodded toward the cutting board on the counter behind them.

Baekhyun began working on scrambling eggs, and then he glanced over at his very cheery roommate.

“So, you guys really did talk things through, right?” Baekhyun ventured. As much as he loved the idea of his two friends being happy with each other, he hoped they weren’t rushing into something because they were both excited and caught up in the moment.

“We did,” Junmyeon nodded. “Sehun’s very… you know how he is. But we did talk. I told him that I wasn’t sure he’d even want to date me since I didn’t have my own business, just because I had to rub it in one last time. He got really sad and apologized a hundred times over again. He said he wished he had realized sooner why I had been acting the way I had and that he never would have said what he did to try and hurt me.”

Baekhyun bit his lip and tried to choose his words carefully.

“You know that his relationship with Tao ended because of things like that, right? They spent a lot of their time arguing and hurting each other back and forth because they were both the bratty types. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they were really good together too, but there was always this underlying…”

“Baek,” Junmyeon interrupted while heating a new pan for his vegan tofu scramble, “I’m not Tao. And yes, I’m well aware that Sehun gets bratty and becomes hurtful at times because of it. I know you’re worried, and I’m worried too, but about different things. Like my first relationship with a man. And having to figure out a way to explain this to my parents at some point. But Sehun himself, I’m not worried about. And you shouldn’t be either. We’re exploring this and seeing where it takes us, okay?”

“Right,” Baekhyun said, more as a confirmation to himself, “I mean, I know. I’m happy for you guys. I am. I just don’t want my two favorite people in the world to get hurt.”

“How’s Kyungsoo going to get hurt by this?” Junmyeon teased.

“He’s not one of my favorite people at all,” Baekhyun said with an upturned nose as he added the veggies to the pan to sauté. “He made me wait a whole day to see him when we only have like six days left. So mean.”

Junmyeon looked at him with a smile and seemed to want to say something, but they were interrupted by a zombie that looked like Sehun, rubbing his eyes and padding his way toward the kitchen.

“Breakfast is almost ready,” Baekhyun told him.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” Junmyeon told Sehun, abandoning the stove to give him a morning kiss and lead him to the table while asking him if he wanted orange juice.

Baekhyun had no choice but to mock Junmyeon and rush to Kyungsoo when he made his appearance, “Come sit. What do you want to drink? I can make you orange juice from scratch. I will find an orange tree and pick the oranges myself.”

“Shut up,” Junmyeon said, throwing one of the dish towels at Baekhyun.

They sat at the table once breakfast was ready, and Baekhyun took in Kyungsoo’s big yawn, then the way he pushed up his glasses with his finger to get a better look at the food in front of him.

“I can’t believe you made me bacon,” Sehun said to Junmyeon. “You must really like me.”

“I like you a little,” Junmyeon told him, “Do you want to try some of my tofu scramble?”

“Okay,” Sehun said, and he opened his mouth wide so Junmyeon could feed it to him.

“Amazing,” Baekhyun said to himself, watching this incredible display of… whatever it was. Baekhyun had no idea what to make of any of this honestly.

“This is really good,” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun beamed. “I figured it was time I returned the favor and cook for you. Well half-cook. Next time I’ll do it alone.”

“It was nice knowing you,” Sehun told Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun pretended to give him a menacing look.

“You made me a great sandwich that I’ll never forget,” Kyungsoo mentioned with a small smile to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun wanted to kiss him but instead settled for bragging.

“See? I made him a great sandwich, and he’s still alive, so there,” Baekhyun let Sehun know.

“It’s because it didn’t involve actual cooking,” Sehun pointed out.

“Details details,” Baekhyun waved off.

They continued to banter and tease each other during breakfast, all four of them caught up in some blissful energy that was only brought to an end by Sehun’s alarm going off on his phone.

“Time to hit the waves,” he announced, gulping down the rest of his orange juice as he stood up.

“Time to get ready for work,” Junmyeon followed, picking up his plate in the process and reaching for Sehun’s.

“Don’t worry about that,” Baekhyun waved him off, reaching across to take the plate out of his hand. “You go get ready. I’ll clean up.”

Kyungsoo smiled at him, amusement twitching on his lips, and once they were alone at the dining room table, he said, “Even when you don’t have to go to work, you volunteer to do some kind of work. You really can’t switch off, can you?”

“I switched off in Santa Barbara,” Baekhyun pointed out, finishing off the bacon on his plate. “I’m totally capable of switching off.”

“You stopped every two seconds to take a picture,” Kyungsoo said, and he chuckled as if the memory had replayed in his mind, then drank more of his coffee.

“That’s like breathing to me at this point,” Baekhyun waved off. He picked up his coffee cup as well and took a sip as he looked at Kyungsoo, memorizing this moment of him sitting there with him in perfect relaxation as they enjoyed their coffee.

“You never told me how you got into photography in the first place,” Kyungsoo mentioned, taking another sip and raising an attentive brow.

“In college,” Baekhyun explained, “Kris and I wanted to take a class together, and he suggested I try taking Photography with him. I ended up connecting with it.”

“So Kris was your first muse then?” Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes a little as if pretending to be jealous, and Baekhyun smirked.

“I did end up using him as my main subject a lot at the beginning. But once that was over, I had to find a new muse.”

“The ocean,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“It grounds me,” Baekhyun acknowledged, taking the last sip from his coffee cup and putting the empty cup on his now empty plate. “Or, it helps me reset I guess. It calms me? I don’t know. I just like it.”

“No, I get it. It’s how I feel when I go to the aquarium in Seoul and let my mind breathe for a little while.”

Baekhyun’s heart sunk, but he realized that Kyungsoo’s departure was imminent whether he wanted it to be or not, so he decided to try and be mature about it instead of pouting and switching the subject. Maybe this strategy would help him deal with it better when the time came.

“So… when you get back, do you have big plans already? Or are you going to be spending more time in the studio?”

“Minseok makes all my plans,” Kyungsoo said, reaching across the table to grab Sehun’s plate to stack it on top of Junmyeon’s. “He has my schedule for when I get back. I have meetings with the company and then marketing plans to read through for how they think I should promote the solo album. More meetings, more looking at proposals. It’s mundane.”

“But exciting too, right? I mean, you’re going to get to promote your own solo work. Will you do a tour for it? Are you going to make videos?”

Kyungsoo smiled at him and gave a one-armed shrug that made it seem like he had gone a little shy on Baekhyun. It was endearing, and Baekhyun memorized that as well.

“Making videos is boring, but the fans like it, so I thought I’d make two. I’d drop one as a teaser, and then release the one for my actual single.”

“Best idea ever,” Baekhyun beamed.

“The teaser one…” Kyungsoo cleared his throat a little and seemed to debate his words, then said, “I want you to do it.”

“What?” Baekhyun knew he had misheard him. “Me? I’ve never done a video.”

“Herb Ritts had never shot a music video until Madonna asked him to.”

“I’m no Herb Ritts.”

“You’re my Herb Ritts.”

Baekhyun blinked. He didn’t have a quick retort to shoot back because he had been caught off guard by the statement. He felt touched by the sentiment, and it almost made him want to do it, but he really couldn’t. He wouldn’t even know how to begin.

“I want ‘My Turn to Cry’ to be the teaser,” Kyungsoo then added, as if the initial compliment hadn’t done enough in rendering Baekhyun speechless. “You wrote it. You were inspired by it. You were a part of the inspiration. Like I said, to me it’s your song now. I want you to direct it. You and your camera, and the two of us on a pier, or on the beach, whichever beach. It’s what I want because… it’s a way for me to keep you. It’ll be our video.”

Baekhyun wanted to cry. Instead, he shook his head and got up from the table, collecting the dishes to take them to the sink.

Kyungsoo stood beside him as Baekhyun rinsed the dishes, placing them one by one in the dishwasher.

“Say something,” Kyungsoo prodded.

Baekhyun sighed and closed the dishwasher door then faced him.

“What can I say? I want you to keep me. I want you to keep me forever. If you feel this video is the way to do that, then we’ll do it.”

“Then why are you upset?”

“I’m trying to be strong here, but I hate this.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo told him, lifting his chin up with his finger so he could look him in the eye. And then Kyungsoo leaned in to give Baekhyun a soft kiss, softer than any he had ever given him, and somehow that made Baekhyun’s heart hurt a bit more. “We’re only focusing on today, right?” Kyungsoo asked him as he looked at him again.

“Right,” Baekhyun said, his voice low, but he nodded to affirm it for himself.

“Then let’s go shower, then get dressed, and then go to the beach and make the greatest video ever made.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun said, taking a moment to gather himself and try and make himself have a lighter mood. “Herb Ritts had Madonna be a mermaid in her video. Maybe you can be a mermaid.”

“Whatever you want,” Kyungsoo said with a chuckle. “You’re the director. It’s your vision.”

“So much power,” Baekhyun teased.

“It’s sexy on you,” Kyungsoo told him, giving him another kiss that lingered and gave Baekhyun a chance to memorize the taste and feel of his lips as well.

And while his plan for their last days together involved mostly memorizing every teeny tiny aspect of Kyungsoo that he could, he supposed he could work a music video into his schedule somehow too. Especially if it meant that Kyungsoo would forever be reminded of him and their summer tryst.


	24. Chapter 24

The debate on which pier or beach to use for the video made for a great shower-time conversation, and though Huntington was where they had spent most of their time together, it was too crowded for their purposes. Malibu was too far north to get in morning shots, Santa Monica was perpetually littered with tourists, and Newport Beach didn’t have quite the right atmosphere.

So they headed to Seal Beach, the place where they had gone after Kyungsoo had gifted Baekhyun the opportunity to play on a concert grand, and Baekhyun had decided to hold onto Kyungsoo just a little bit longer. It seemed fitting. The quaint seaside provided peace and quiet, most residents at work or too busy running errands to enjoy the shore at that time.

“Should I pose?” Kyungsoo asked, and he did a very dramatic and stereotypical model pose with the intentions of making Baekhyun laugh, which Baekhyun did.

“Just walk around and brood like you normally do,” Baekhyun instructed him.

“I don’t brood anymore,” Kyungsoo stated as he put his hands in his jeans pockets and walked toward the shore.

“You still brood. You just smile more now too. In between your brooding.”

Baekhyun had only ever used the video settings on his camera to get footage of Sehun surfing, but he liked the juxtaposition of using it to capture a calm scene, and Baekhyun discovered that just as his camera loved Kyungsoo in still photographs, it loved him even more in motion.

The morning sun afforded the videos a soft glow, and Baekhyun played into it, capturing the simplest of moments—Kyungsoo staring off, Kyungsoo crouching to touch his fingers to the cold water, Kyungsoo drawing a heart with his finger in the sand, Kyungsoo glancing over his shoulder to look at him.

There were many times that Baekhyun’s breath caught at both the images on his small screen and the man in front of the camera himself, and by the time they lost their soft lighting to the harsh spotlight of the afternoon sun, Baekhyun felt he needed a break from what he could only describe as being obsessed with filming Kyungsoo.

“There’s an Irish Pub down the street we can have lunch at,” Baekhyun let him know. “It’s owned by a pop singer from a girl group in Ireland. I only know this because Tao did a whole spotlight on it for the zine and Sehun and I tagged along to taste test everything.”

“Did you write reviews of the food?” Kyungsoo asked with a chuckle as they walked back to Baekhyun’s car.

“Sehun did,” Baekhyun confirmed. “He really thought he had a career as a food critic after that.”

Kyungsoo laughed and they got in the car and headed back down the coastal road to the Irish Pub, which was dark inside and afforded them all the privacy they could ever wish for. They huddled in their corner booth, looking over all the video shot so far and enjoyed their fish and chips and pints of Guinness.

“I knew you’d be amazing at this,” Kyungsoo observed as he popped another chip in his mouth. “It’s going to be perfect with the song.”

“I was originally thinking that we could hit up another beach during magic hour, but now I’m thinking we should wait for the sun to go down a bit and get more dusky type of shots to go with this theme.”

“You’re the director,” Kyungsoo told him, feeding Baekhyun some fish.

“I’m the guy taking video of you,” Baekhyun reminded him after he had eaten it. “Someone else is going to have to edit all this footage and do the actual music video part of it.”

“The guy we normally use for that is here in LA,” Kyungsoo told him. “So once you’re done with the footage, it’ll go to him along with the song, and he’ll put it all together however you want. You’ll have to tell him though.”

“I don’t know how to put it all together though,” Baekhyun insisted.

“You’ll know when you get there,” Kyungsoo assured him, and he fed him a chip, which Baekhyun greedily accepted.

Because they had a lot of time to kill, they spent far more time in the pub than they should have, having far too many pints and one too many Baby Guinness shots at the behest of their lively server. After several stolen kisses and reconciling the bill, they realized that Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to drive them to Palos Verdes like he had intended for their dusk shots.

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo said, picking up his phone, “That’s why we have Minseok.”

Only that calling in the services of Minseok meant having to explain why they needed his services in the first place, which Baekhyun hadn’t thought would be an issue until Minseok sat at their booth with them staring at them in disbelief.

“What do you mean you’re shooting an MV?” Minseok asked Kyungsoo.

“For my teaser,” Kyungsoo stated.

“We didn’t discuss this.”

“It’s my idea.”

“But you never mentioned it.”

“Well it was an idea, and then I found the right time to tell Baekhyun, and now we’re shooting it. Show him the footage,” Kyungsoo instructed Baekhyun.

Baekhyun pulled up the files and played them for Minseok, who rubbed his fingers against his temple and put his hand up to Baekhyun to indicate that he got the gist of it and could take his camera back.

“It’s going to be for ‘My Turn to Cry’,” Kyungsoo then said.

“We didn’t discuss that either,” Minseok told him. “You can’t just make an MV. We need to discuss budget, pricing, and you’re not even made up. You have no make-up on. There’s no stylist to get you the proper wardrobe.”

Kyungsoo shook his head at him and said, “The point of my teaser is for it to be natural. I want it stripped down. It’s for the fans. It’s like a special treat.”

“Budget, payment, did you sign a contract with Baekhyun?” Minseok said, using his fingers to count off the things that had been missed in the apparent unspoken negotiation.

“How much do you want?” Kyungsoo asked Baekhyun.

“Nothing?” Baekhyun said. The conversation had caught him so off guard that he didn’t even know what he was supposed to be thinking or expecting. He had just been having fun creating this final memory for them.

“You have to be compensated for your work,” Minseok said, rubbing his temples even more.

Baekhyun wanted to tell him that the best way he could compensate him was to not take Kyungsoo away from him, but since that wasn’t an option, he stayed quiet.

“We’ll pay him what we normally pay our directors. Okay?” Kyungsoo asked Minseok.

Minseok let out a frustrated sigh and picked up his phone. “I’ll have legal draw up the contract.” He gave his temples a rest to write up an email on his phone.

“And we have to set him up with the guy we use for our editing and post-production,” Kyungsoo told Minseok.

Minseok took a sharp breath, and Baekhyun saw him pull up his notepad app to take a note.

“So if ‘My Turn to Cry’ is your teaser, what’s your single?” Minseok asked while still tapping.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “I’ll let the company decide. That’ll be my bargaining chip so they let me have my teaser.”

“Alright, I’ll reach out to them later when they’re awake,” Minseok said as he stood up from the table, “Let’s go finish your teaser video then.”

Minseok drove them up to Palos Verdes where they stopped by the Korean Friendship Bell first so that Minseok could see it. Baekhyun made sure to take plenty of pictures of him in front of it, the manager excited to show them to his family back in Korea.

When they got to the hiking trails that led down to the ocean, Kyungsoo pointed out that he was wearing sneakers.

Baekhyun blinked at him.

“Last time we were here, you said I had to wear sneakers so you could take me to the pirate cove place,” Kyungsoo reminded him.

A smile creased on Baekhyun’s lips, and he nodded.

“Sacred Cove,” Baekhyun said. “Let’s do it. The shots will be amazing.”

He hoped the tide wasn’t too high for them this late in the day, but he led them down the path and chuckled at Minseok when he asked how much longer it would take.

“Sorry, it’s not a short hike,” Baekhyun let him know, and Minseok mumbled something in return about how they didn’t even have a permit to shoot in this location.

Though that was the least of Minseok’s worries when they got to the rocky cove and found the tide to be a bit higher than Baekhyun had hoped.

“You’re not shooting here,” Minseok told Kyungsoo. “We don’t have insurance for this.”

“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo said, taking it all in and climbing over rocks before either Minseok or Baekhyun could stop him.

“Be careful,” Baekhyun told him. “The tide’s a bit high.”

“This is amazing,” Kyungsoo replied instead, and Baekhyun had no choice but to train the camera on him and take footage of Kyungsoo looking like a kid in an elaborate playground created just for him.

“Can you get him to come back?” Minseok pleaded, and Baekhyun handed the camera to Minseok.

“You’re the director now. I’m going to go play with him,” Baekhyun said with a big smile. He took off over the rocks, trying to catch up with a very enthusiastic rock star whose imagination was running wild.

“Is that a cave?” Kyungsoo asked, looking over his shoulder at Baekhyun, “Can we go in there?”

“Uh, let me see how deep the water is,” Baekhyun said, passing him to try and gauge the water level. It would come up to their knees. “There’s too much water,” Baekhyun told Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo crouched by the water and stared down at it, and then, out of nowhere, lowered himself down into it.

“No, don’t do that,” Baekhyun told him, but it was too late, and Kyungsoo was already wading into the water up to the cave.

Baekhyun could hear Minseok yelling at him from behind telling him to do something, but Baekhyun found himself entranced by the man who had pulled himself up onto the rock in the cave and now sat on it, soaking wet and with the largest smile on his face.

“Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo called out, “This is amazing!”

“You’re crazy!” Baekhyun called out back to him, and for a moment, Baekhyun wondered if he could be impulsive too.

Kyungsoo made it seem so easy. Wanting Baekhyun and not relenting until he got him. Doing what he wanted and how he wanted, despite the protests of those around him. Making moves instead of dreaming about them. Kyungsoo seemed like the epitome of what it felt like to be alive. Take time off. Let’s drive to Santa Barbara. Drop me off to record because I have new ideas. Everything in Kyungsoo’s world was so in the moment that Baekhyun couldn’t help but to get caught up.

He removed his wallet and keys from the pockets of his board shorts and set them on a rock, his sensibilities still intact and screaming at him to not participate. But he wanted to. If these were his final days with Kyungsoo, then he wanted the full Kyungsoo experience.

So he got in the water, and Kyungsoo cheered for him as he held his hands out to help Baekhyun onto the rock in the cave. Kyungsoo leaned his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder as they looked out at the ocean from the cave and said, “Amazing, right?”

Baekhyun took the view of the open ocean in front of them, the water spraying as it crashed upon the rocky crags around them, and yet, there they sat nestled in their own little cave, just them, just their own little world.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “Amazing.”

So amazing that Baekhyun was upset that he couldn’t take a picture of his view from this angle. He’d have to invest in a waterproof camera and come do this again. Sehun would be up for the adventure.

Unfortunately for them, the tide was rising even more, and a very frightened Minseok kept telling them to get out, though Baekhyun wanted to applaud Minseok for being courageous enough to get to the part of the rocks where he could clearly see them in the cave.

Baekhyun gave Kyungsoo one last lingering kiss before hopping off the rock first and taking Kyungsoo’s hand to help him down back into the water. The water had risen enough so that they had to add doggy paddling to their wading, finding the best rocks where they could get a strong foothold to climb back up to safety.

“You’re going to hate hiking back up with those wet jeans,” Baekhyun informed Kyungsoo, once they were back on the rocks and out of the water.

“Should I take them off?” Kyungsoo teased, and Baekhyun laughed as Minseok looked horrified by the idea.

They took pauses on their hike back, to take in the scenery, to exchange kisses, to needlessly check up on Kyungsoo’s wet jeans situation, and to scare Minseok every time he thought he heard a rattlesnake.

That night, as Baekhyun lay warm and comfy in his bed with a warm and comfy Kyungsoo beside him, he played back all the videos from the day, including the ones that Minseok had ended up taking of them. He had thought Minseok would continue to film only Kyungsoo, but every video he took was of the two of them, laughing, climbing, wading in water, and cuddling in the cave. He knew that the events had been very real, but for Baekhyun, it felt like he was watching a fantasy movie.

“You know how Mike knew about you,” Baekhyun asked, as he rewound the footage of them to watch it again. “Like, about you and Luhan and that side of you?”

“Mhmm,” Kyungsoo said, cuddling into him as he nuzzled his nose against Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Does the editor know?”

Kyungsoo’s brows furrowed a moment and then he looked up at Baekhyun, “I don’t think so. I mean, I’m not sure it’s ever come up. Why?”

“I was just wondering if he’d be up for doing a director’s cut of the video. A version for us with the footage of us that Minseok took. But I guess not. It’s okay. I think just having this for myself is enough.”

“Mm,” Kyungsoo said, and then he nuzzled his nose into Baekhyun’s arm again and shifted to wiggle his hips against Baekhyun as if indicating that he wanted Baekhyun to put the camera down and come play with him instead.

Baekhyun was more than happy to oblige.

***

Baekhyun had thought that the next morning would be similar to the one before, with them waking up for a fun breakfast with Sehun and Junmyeon, and then hitting the beach. But reality interfered.

“I have to go home and pack my things up,” Kyungsoo explained to Baekhyun as he got dressed that morning. “My parents are coming over to my place to help. I have to have everything out by Saturday and turn the keys back in.”

It now felt too real, but Baekhyun had told him he understood and ended up hitting the beach by himself, trying to not be too bummed as he watched Sehun’s final day of practice before the competition started tomorrow.

“You look too pouty,” Jongin called down to him from the lifeguard tower.

“Don’t you have kids to be looking at instead?”

“Your pouting is distracting,” Jongin said with a chuckle. He scanned the shoreline and water then looked back at Baekhyun. “Do you and Kyungsoo have anything planned for your last night together? We could always do another bonfire.”

Baekhyun had been thinking that something special needed to be done, but he had only been thinking about it in the context of him and Kyungsoo. It hadn’t occurred to him that everyone else would have wanted to spend one last night with him too.

“Ah, not really. Been trying not to think about it honestly.”

“I hear you,” Jongin nodded. “So let’s talk about Sehun and Junmyeon instead.”

Baekhyun smiled, more than appreciative for the topic change, “What are your thoughts on it?”

“If they’re happy, I’m happy,” Jongin stated. “Although I feel a little bad for Junmyeon. Sehun is so…”

“Sehun,” Baekhyun completed for him. “I think it’s cute. Sehun really does like Junmyeon a lot, and Junmyeon needs someone like Sehun to help him navigate this new phase of his life.”

“Does he though?” Jongin teased, but then agreed. “No, it is good. I told them we should do a double date soon. I’d say a triple date, but with Sehun’s competition, I don’t think there’d be time.”

“I think a double date sounds fun,” Baekhyun said before he could feel too sad about the fact that a triple date would never happen. Or at least not until he found someone new. Though how would he ever after a summer like this?

Baekhyun thought about this more as Jongin returned to his duties. He never thought he’d find anyone after Kris, and now, the idea of someone coming along like Kyungsoo that could turn his life upside down in such a dramatic way seemed impossible.

On top of that, he really didn’t think he’d be trying to date anyway. Now that Sehun was taken, there’d be no need to hit up bars or social events where he could meet someone. He’d just work more and stay lost in his video games and photography instead. It felt like a good resolve anyway.

Sehun joined him when he was done, and Baekhyun suggested they get real food at a nearby restaurant and get out of the sun. They walked up a couple of blocks to a Cajun/Creole restaurant they hadn’t been to in a while.

“I can only come here with you since there’s nothing for Junmyeon to eat,” Sehun said as he looked over the menu, even though he always got the chicken po boy.

“He could always get the fried okra or fried pickles.”

“Let’s get fried pickles. I’m starving,” Sehun said excited.

They put in their order for fried pickles and their respective po boys, blackened chicken for Sehun, fried shrimp for Baekhyun, then relaxed as they enjoyed being out of the sun and in the air conditioning.

“So you’re done, right?” Baekhyun confirmed. “Now you go home and rest until morning.”

“I really want to get one last practice in tonight.”

“Nope,” Baekhyun shook his head. “Remember what your surfing coach always told you. The night before the competition—rest.”

“Resting is overrated,” Sehun said, but he leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms up above his head before sitting upright again. “I guess I could use some rest.”

“You’ll be ready to go and ready to win in the morning.”

“I have to win it,” Sehun stated.

“You will. And Junmyeon will be waiting for you to give you a big kiss for it.”

Sehun’s defined cheekbones rose, and Baekhyun thought it was so nice to see his best friend feeling warm and happy to be back in a relationship. Unlike Baekhyun, relationships seemed to really suit Sehun well.

“I think he’s my good luck charm that I was missing,” Sehun said with a little shoulder wiggle.

“He probably is,” Baekhyun agreed. “Tao was just holding you back from all those victories,” he then joked.

“I should tell him not to come then,” Sehun laughed.

“Is he coming tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Sehun nodded. “Or at least he says he is.”

“Did you tell him about Junmyeon?”

“Yeah. He says he’s happy for me. He knew how much I had been crushing on him.”

“I’m really glad you held out and didn’t hook back up with Tao,” Baekhyun let him know.

“Me too,” Sehun said with a cheesy smile.

Their fried pickles were brought out to them and both hungry boys dug in, the heat and sun of the day exacerbating their hungers.

“You know you don’t have to come all the days, right?” Sehun asked as he dipped another fried pickle into the sauce. “I just mean, like, if you wanted to spend all day with Kyungsoo alone and stuff.”

“When have I ever missed a single competition day of yours?” Baekhyun asked him, but he felt soft at the sentiment and gave him a smile. “We’re going to enjoy our last days together cheering you on. Even Kyungsoo can’t keep me from being your biggest fan.”

“You know what I think?” Sehun then said. “I think that this relationship of yours with Kyungsoo has been your perfect relationship.”

“How so?” Baekhyun asked as he grabbed a napkin, realizing he was making a mess with the sauce dripping off his fried pickle.

“You’ve never been normal, and I think your thing with Kris didn’t work because he was too normal for you and your relationship with him was too normal. This brief summer relationship with a rock star makes more sense for the type of person you are.”

“This sounds like something I should be offended by,” Baekhyun said with a dubious look.

“No, it’s not,” Sehun said, chuckling. “I’m just saying that your relationship with Kyungsoo seemed to suit you better than the one you had with Kris. I’m not sure why. It just does. Maybe next summer you can have a fling with someone else exciting. It can be your thing.”

“I’m leaving the relationships to you, Sehunnie. They’re your thing. Next summer I’m going to be playing the latest hot video game release and taking pictures of the sunset in Laguna.”

“We’ll see,” Sehun had said with a smirk.

But Baekhyun knew better. He didn’t mind being alone. Sure he got lonely every now and then, but he had his friends, and they were all he really needed. Plus he had pretty great memories, of Kris, and now of Kyungsoo, to cling onto whenever he did start to feel a bit unloved.

He’d be just fine.

***

Baekhyun thought it was a little weird when he got a text that night from Kyungsoo asking to meet him on the pier near his place. Maybe after a day of packing, he had just wanted to hang out on the pier. But something about the text had made Baekhyun think that things weren’t that simple.

Maybe after a day of packing, Kyungsoo had realized that he needed to end things tonight. Maybe the idea of leaving had been too painful to have it last another few days. A lot of “maybe” scenarios were flying through Baekhyun’s head as he found parking in the closest lot.

He hurried up the pier, the last final moments of dusk guiding him to the very end where he found Kyungsoo sitting on a bench, staring out at the endless darkening ocean.

“Boo,” Baekhyun teased as he gave him a hug from behind, surprising the subdued man who had been a lost in thought. “Hey, are you okay?”

Baekhyun sat beside him, and brought his leg up so he could sit facing Kyungsoo instead.

“Mm,” Kyungsoo said.

He looked at Baekhyun and took Baekhyun’s hand into his, rubbing his thumb over it in silence.

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun asked him. If the end was in this moment, then Baekhyun needed it to be done quickly. Like tearing a bandage off type of quickly.

“I…” Kyungsoo began then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He then started again, “I… told my parents the truth… about me and Luhan. I told them that the rumors back then had been true.”

Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat and his eyes went wide as he looked at Kyungsoo.

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” Baekhyun asked, holding Kyungsoo’s hand tighter, wanting to give him as much support as possible.

“I’m okay,” Kyungsoo said softly, nodding, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand back. “They didn’t disown me or anything.”

“That’s good,” Baekhyun said, scooting closer to him. “So they took it okay?”

“My mom took it better than my dad,” Kyungsoo said, clearing his throat. “My dad… he just used it as another opportunity to throw it in my face that I had lied to them. That kinda led to a big argument between us.”

“I bet,” Baekhyun said, using his other hand to caress Kyungsoo’s face a little and smooth some of his hair back.

“I don’t know what came over me, but I let it all out,” Kyungsoo continued. “I told him that no matter what I did, he was always disappointed in me anyway so what difference did it make? He said that he only felt disappointment because I had changed so much and wasn’t being true to who I was. So I yelled at him that this is who I was.”

Kyungsoo took a moment and another deep breath before he continued.

“I told him it was okay that he didn’t like who I was. That all I cared about was that he loved me. I told him that I knew deep down inside that he just wanted what was best for me, and that he didn’t agree with my choices because he thought they weren’t what was best for me. I told him that I chose my path and that I didn’t regret it except for the part where I wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to not lose the first love of my life because of it. And then, I told him what I had written in my song about him. I told him, I’m sorry I’m not who you wanted me to be, but I am who you raised me to be. Driven, hard-working, an over-achiever, passionate about what I do, committed, to the point where I sacrificed what I wanted for my goals. This is who he raised me to be because this is what he had done. His businesses, the way he overworks himself, the way he wanted to provide for us in the best way possible. I grew up privileged because of my dad, and he couldn’t understand why I was doing the same thing. Funny, right?”

“It’s good you told him that,” Baekhyun said, not even sure he could have been that forthright with his own dad. Then again, he’d never had to have been. Baekhyun and his parents had always had a healthy and honest relationship. He supposed that was a privilege in itself.

“It is good,” Kyungsoo nodded, which he followed with a small sniffle. Baekhyun rubbed his hand over Kyungsoo’s knee in a calming pattern. “Because I think he finally got it. He didn’t say anything right after that, but my mom started yelling at him for being difficult to me for no reason, and then, believe it or not, I yelled at her too.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun said surprised.

“I know,” Kyungsoo said with another sniffle. “Whereas my dad always seemed disappointed, my mother was the opposite. She never told me ‘no’ or gave me any real advice once my music career started taking off. I told her to stop always making my dad seem like the bad parent. I was really emotional by then obviously. I yelled at her that I needed her to be my mother, not another manager or ‘yes’ person in my life. I asked her that if she had suspected that my relationship with Luhan was true, then why didn’t she try and figure it out and talk to me about it more? Why did she just let it go? To not upset me? I was already upset.”

Kyungsoo dropped his head into his hands, and Baekhyun pulled him into a hug. His heart hurt so much for him, and he rubbed his back. He wanted to ask him what she said back, but he knew Kyungsoo needed the moment to cry, so he let him have it.

“I feel really guilty right now,” Kyungsoo said, after a few moments. He straightened up and wiped the moistness under his eyes. “I made her cry. She wouldn’t stop crying. She kept apologizing and saying that she had just wanted me to be happy. And then my dad interjected and said, ‘But he wasn’t happy,’ and that broke me. Then I confirmed it for them. After losing Luhan, I wasn’t. I haven’t been, until this summer, hanging out with you, and Sehun, and your friends. I told them that. I told them about you. I even showed them a picture of you because my mom wanted to see what you looked like. She said you were very cute.”

“I really like your mom,” Baekhyun said with a cheesy smile, hoping that it lightened Kyungsoo up a little.

Kyungsoo did give a half smile, then continued.

“And then my dad asked me if I planned on losing you too,” Kyungsoo let out an exasperated sigh, “I was so frustrated at that point. I wanted to yell at him again, but instead I told him that you understood. That we had discussed it. That we were both prepared, and that I would leave back to my life, and you would stay here in yours, and that would be it.”

Baekhyun bit his lip, but nodded. They had discussed it. They had understood. He supposed they were as prepared as they could be.

“Then my dad, the ever unrelenting soul that he is, said that if my excuse for not being happy before was my inexperience with the situation and not knowing how to deal with it, then what was my excuse now.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, “He’s so hardcore.” Baekhyun couldn’t relate at all to having a parent like that. His parents were the nicest people in the world.

“He is,” Kyungsoo affirmed. “My whole life he’s been like this. Why did I miss one question on my Algebra test? Why didn’t I start on my book report earlier so I wasn’t staying up late to finish it? If music was my passion, then why did I make so many mistakes during my recital? He’s always been hard on me and has always held me accountable for my faults. And that’s what he was doing tonight. What was my excuse? And I told him that I didn’t want to lose everything I had worked so hard for.”

“It makes sense,” Baekhyun agreed. Baekhyun certainly didn’t want to be the reason that Kyungsoo’s entire career came crashing down.

“And then he asked me, ‘So the fake love of thousands is more important to you than the real love of one person?’”

“That’s not fair,” Baekhyun said before Kyungsoo could say anything. “That’s not even…”

“He had a point,” Kyungsoo stopped him. “But I had a point too. My career didn’t just mean me. A lot of people have a lot riding on my career. Not just the rest of the band, but our staff, and of course, our fans. He’s a businessman. I knew he’d understand.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said with a soft tone. His heart constricted several times as the weight of his own shattered dreams sat upon them.

“I told him that this summer has taught me that I can be happy again,” Kyungsoo continued. “That I think I can find happiness in new ways now. I have too much responsibilities toward other people to give it all up for my own happiness. But I think I was punishing myself for what I did to Luhan by not allowing myself to be happy. I don’t think that’s an issue anymore.”

“Glad I could help,” Baekhyun said with a silly smile and a thumbs up, even though his heart was breaking into even smaller pieces than before.

“You did,” Kyungsoo told him. He looked at him, as if memorizing him, and then he leaned in to give Baekhyun a gentle kiss. “Thank you.”

Baekhyun nodded, afraid he’d give himself away and cause tears to well up in his eyes if he said anything. He’d keep it together. He understood the situation. They only had a few days left. No point in crying about it.

“My place is a packed up mess right now,” Kyungsoo told him. “Can I come to yours for the night?”

“Did you have to ask?” Baekhyun said with a small laugh. “My place is your place. Always.”

Kyungsoo smiled and gave him another gentle kiss, and many more kisses were exchanged before they finally left the pier and headed to Baekhyun’s place.


	25. Chapter 25

Baekhyun massaged Sehun’s shoulders as the surfer tried to shrug off some of his nervous energy.

“You got this, Sehunnie. Those waves are yours,” Baekhyun told him.

“Go kill those waves!” Jongdae shouted out from where he sat on the beach along with their other friends. He and Yixing had flown in together the night before and seemed more excited than anyone else for the event.

“Please be safe!” Yixing called out.

Sehun laughed, and Baekhyun pat him on the back and gave him a good butt slap for good measure to make him laugh more.

When Baekhyun dropped onto the blanket next to Kyungsoo, he proclaimed, “My work here is done. It’s all up to him now.”

“He’s going to do great,” Junmyeon said with a proud smile as he took a sip of his signature tea that he had made for them again.

“Shouldn’t you be working on his parents?” Jongin said, pointing out where Sehun’s parents sat along with Tao in the spectator stands that had been set up.

“I gave up my seat to Tao,” Junmyeon said, “So I could sit on this blanket with you guys instead.”

“It was my seat,” Baekhyun pointed out, “As his long-time trainer and best friend, I got the third spot on the stands. Nice try, Kim.”

“No, he told me that it was mine since he needed you by the shore near him. So whatever, Byun.”

“When do we start placing bets?” Jongdae joked, and they all laughed as the competition got under way and Sehun paddled out into the water.

Sehun got off to a solid start, and Baekhyun felt his nerves start to unravel, silently begging for the waves to cooperate to Sehun’s advantage. It always made him anxious to watch the competitions, but he knew that Sehun was as prepared as he could have been.

The surfers in the first heat all seem to be on par with each other for most of the time until Sehun snuck onto a wave that the other surfers had missed.

“Oh, there we go!” The announcer said over the loudspeakers, “That last wave of Sehun Oh, a 5.33, so that put him up. Now everyone’s gotta catch up.”

Baekhyun watched the replay on the big screens to see how great Sehun’s form had been. His best friend was off to a good start, and Baekhyun felt relief flood him as the first heat finished with Sehun in the lead, as did the day, and as did the second day.

By the final day of competition, Sehun was barely in the lead as another surfer had crept on him at some point, making the interest in the final match-up very high.

And while that could have normally been a good distraction for Baekhyun, today it was anything but. As they waited for the final competition to begin, Baekhyun looked over toward the shore away from the surfers to see Kyungsoo sitting with Tao. As promised, Kyungsoo was giving Tao his exclusive interview on his first solo album, and Baekhyun had already given Tao the perfect pictures to go with it.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said, sitting beside Baekhyun on the blanket with an ice cream cone. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m pretending to be really strong,” Baekhyun admitted to him.

Chanyeol put an arm around him to pull him into a lazy hug, then let him go and said, “It’ll all be okay.”

“Will it?” Baekhyun said, then nodded, “I mean yeah. Everything will go back to normal, so I guess that’s okay.”

“When you first came into our lives,” Chanyeol said between licks of his ice cream, “I wasn’t so sure about it, but seeing how Kyungsoo started changing back into who he used to be was amazing. As far as I’m concerned, we’ll always be friends. Next time I come home to visit, you better be ready to do lunch or hang out.”

Baekhyun smiled at him and nodded, “I’ll be here.”

Chanyeol then pointed with his ice cream toward a group of girls that were on a blanket, not too far from them, with professional cameras in their hands.

“Those are fans. They’ve been here since yesterday for the competition, stalking Kyungsoo and taking pictures of him. Well, the girl in blue has been taking pictures of me. She runs a fan account online that’s dedicated to me. A lowly drummer. Crazy, right?”

“What?” Baekhyun said, surprised by this information. He hadn’t even noticed the girls, much less their rather professional gear. He would have assumed they were here covering the event. “How did they even know you guys are here?”

“They always know where we are,” Chanyeol explained. “Kyungsoo had been spotted here hanging out with you throughout the summer by fans, so they put two and two together and realized there was a reason. Luckily, they think the reason is that we’re supporting the only Korean-American surfer in this competition.”

“That’s so scary,” Baekhyun said, not wanting to be obvious but having to glance at the girls again. He now realized the severity of what Minseok had told him in Malibu and how Minseok had known exactly what Kyungsoo was dealing with.

“They call you the photographer,” Chanyeol continued. “When they talk about you online. They’re hoping for some major pictorial based on how often you’re with him. They call Sehun the surfer. Junmyeon’s known as the other guy.”

“Have they been following us this whole time?” Baekhyun’s blood ran cold. What had they seen?

“It’s been different fans that have spotted you guys. Mostly American fans in the area that live here. These girls with the cameras just got here from Korea on the same flight Jongdae and Yixing were on. They do that too. Make sure to book the same flights so they can brag about being on the same flight as us.” Then, sensing that Baekhyun felt entirely freaked out by all of this, Chanyeol said, “I’m not telling you this to scare you or anything. I just know that today’s a really hard day for you because Kyungsoo is leaving tomorrow. But I think you should understand why he has to leave. He’s not leaving you, okay? He just has this really weird life that doesn’t allow him to stay with you.”

 If Baekhyun hadn’t fully understood that before, he certainly understood it now. And then he became more worried.

“Wait, they’ve seen how we interacted these past two days…” Baekhyun said.

“Yeah, don’t worry too much about that,” Chanyeol said, “These girls on the blanket have been around since the Luhan days. They kinda know. It’s pretty much their fault that the Luhan rumors surfaced in the first place since they were taking pictures of Kyungsoo every second of the day. We have an understanding with them. They let us have our space, we let them take their pics. They keep our private lives to themselves, they get the bragging rights of having access to us to take exclusive pics to post on their fan accounts.”

“That’s like blackmailing,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“There’s a lot of that in this industry,” Chanyeol nodded. “But it helps at times. They’ve seen you guys interact. They won’t tell. At least not for now.”

Baekhyun didn’t feel great about that, but it was a good reminder that Kyungsoo’s life was far more complicated than anything Baekhyun had ever dealt with in his own life. There was no real way for him to understand it without the experience of full immersion, and that was something that Baekhyun was more than happy to never do.

So he was calmer by the time Kyungsoo rejoined him as Sehun’s competition finally started. Everything made sense. Kyungsoo wasn’t leaving him. He just couldn’t stay.

“How’d the interview go?” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo.

“Really well. Tao asks better questions than most music journalists I interact with.”

“Is it safe to say this is the first interview you’ve shown up to in years?”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, smacking his arm lightly, but smiling anyway. He reached over to the cooler to grab a bottle of water, and Baekhyun watched him, not wanting to forget a single moment of anything Kyungsoo did, from pressing the cool water bottle to his forehead first, to screwing the cap off, to taking the big gulps that caused his Adam’s apple to bob up and down.

The final started, and Baekhyun had to stand up, too restless to stay seated as his excitement and nerves got the best of him.

“We got Sehun Oh here on the inside off to the left. Nice little 5,” the first announcer said.

“Holding the rail. Nice rail grab. Does well to come out of that. Very clean,” the second announcer interjected as Sehun fell off his board to grab it and paddle out again.

“I don’t know what any of this means,” Jongdae said, jumping up and down.

“It means he’s doing great,” Jongin said, jumping up and down with him.

“I expected the waves to be bigger,” Chanyeol mentioned. “Like it’s a big competition. Why aren’t the waves bigger?”

“That’s too dangerous,” Yixing said.

“They control the waves,” Jongin explained, “So that all of the surfers are working with the same type of conditions. And also for safety. That’s why all those boats are stationed around the area of competition. They keep the bigger waves from coming in.”

“I still think this sport is too dangerous,” Yixing let everyone know.

“It’s what makes it exciting,” Jongdae said, cheering as Sehun surfed another wave.

Baekhyun’s stomach was in knots as the final minutes of the competition ticked down. He had his hands on his head, pacing as he watched Sehun catch one final wave and fall off just before shore. Had it been enough? Baekhyun looked at the leader board and bit his lip trying to do the calculations in his head.

Then he did the calculations again. And then a third time to make sure. And then he smiled.

***

“Weeee are the almost champions, my frieeeend,” Jongdae and Chanyeol serenaded Sehun loudly with their bottles of soju in the air.

After the award ceremony had finished, and Sehun had been handed his second place trophy, Baekhyun had hugged him so tight and almost squeezed him to death.

His best friend had won second place at the U.S. Open of Surfing, and Baekhyun couldn’t be beaming any wider with pride.

Pictures had been taken, Sehun had done interviews, and a large amount of big time sponsors were insisting they sponsor him for the next tournament. Then he received the best prize of all—Sehun’s parents had told him that he could quit his job because they’d be back to supporting his surfing career fully.

Maybe he hadn’t won first place, but he had most certainly won in a lot of other ways.

Now they were celebrating at a Korean barbecue place, making sure their almost champ ate his weight in grilled meat and drank his weight in soju.

“That was one of the most thrilling things I’ve ever witnessed,” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun as he added more grilled meat to Baekhyun’s plate. “I’m now wondering if there are surfing competitions in Korea I can check out.”

“It can be your new aquarium,” Baekhyun said with a smile.

“I already looked it up,” Jongdae interjected as he poured more soju for Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. “They have one in Busan every summer.”

“You’re obsessed,” Chanyeol said, punching Jongdae’s arm with a laugh.

“I’m making it my new hobby,” Jongdae said. “I’m going to learn how to surf.”

“No, please don’t,” Yixing said. “This has been stressful enough.”

“I think I’ll join you,” Chanyeol told Jongdae. “I dabbled in it when I was a kid.”

“Oh, that one time our parents took us to the beach and got us boogie boards and you cried when you thought the boogie board wasn’t working properly because you didn’t realize you had to take it out to the water yourself?” Kyungsoo said.

“First of all,” Chanyeol said. “I didn’t cry.”

“You threw a temper tantrum.”

“I was a kid!”

“You were 12.”

“Let me live!”

They all laughed at Chanyeol who insisted he was going to learn to surf with Jongdae anyway, prompting Minseok to make a comment about checking their insurance policies.

Yixing said a prayer for them both.

***

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo snuck away from the festivities as they began to wind down. They had spoken at length about where they thought they should spend their final night together, and it only made sense to them to spend it on the Huntington Beach pier, holding hands as they walked to the end of it so they could stare out at the black ocean that spread out before them into the infinite night.

“Do you remember when we first met,” Kyungsoo began, “You didn’t want to hook up with me?”

“Do you remember that you were a spoiled brat, and I had to be at work the next morning?”

“Do you remember our first photo shoot?”

“The one where you were broody and didn’t say anything until we went to eat ramen that night?”

Kyungsoo shrugged and said, “I was shy.”

“Oh, please,” Baekhyun said with a sarcastic cackle. “You were just upset you weren’t getting your way.”

“I always get my way. I just had to wait a little longer for you.”

“My evil plan to make you fall for me instead worked,” Baekhyun teased.

“It did,” Kyungsoo said, looking at him, squeezing his hand a little. “Now when people ask me if I’ve ever been in love, I can say honestly that yes, I have, twice.”

“People will assume you’re talking about your girlfriends.”

“Let them assume whatever they want,” Kyungsoo said, and he seemed to take a small breath as he licked his lips absently.

“We’ll know the truth,” Baekhyun nodded, wanting to take over the job of licking his lips for him. He leaned in and stole a kiss, passing his tongue over Kyungsoo’s bottom lip before parting. “One of our last kisses. I feel the need to count them now. When does your flight leave tomorrow again? Let me calculate how many kisses I can squeeze in during that time.”

“My flight leaves at noon,” Kyungsoo said. “I’m spending the night with you and then Minseok is picking me up to take me to the airport in the morning around 7.”

“God, that’s only like 9 hours from now,” Baekhyun said, his lip trembling as he pushed it into a pout to keep his emotions steady. Now it began hitting him hard. 9 hours. That was a blink in time.

Kyungsoo kissed his pout and pulled him in closer to him, then he looked at Baekhyun and gave him a small smirk.

“Remember how the palm reader told me I could go further in my goals if I was more positive?”

“Really?” Baekhyun asked, rolling his eyes, “We’re back to the palm reader again?”

“I loved that palm reader,” Kyungsoo stated.

“I can see that.”

“Remember she said I don’t have a defined line of fate, so it’s up to me to make my own fate?”

“That applies to everyone. Everyone has to make their own fate.”

“Again, not everyone needs to hear it,” Kyungsoo countered, as he had before.

“So you needed to hear it?” Baekhyun played along.

“Up until now, I’ve let other people decide my fate. I work hard, but the company decides what song gets put out. They decide who interviews me, who photographs me, where I show up and when. And when the company didn’t want me to date someone because it could ruin everything, I stopped dating them.”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said, careful, wanting him to understand before he said something he’d regret later, “You’ve chosen those things yourself. Stop thinking crazy things. You don’t want to jeopardize everything you’ve worked for.”

“What if I’m not jeopardizing it? What if I’m being more positive about how things might work out if I make my own fate? What if it could further my goals?”

Baekhyun shook his head and sucked his bottom lip in as he looked at Kyungsoo, imploring him without words to stop entertaining whatever idea he had in his head.

“I want you,” Kyungsoo said.

“No,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head again.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo said. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this. What the palm reader said. What my dad said. What Minseok said. What Chanyeol said. What I said through my own lyrics. I’ve been piecing it all together for the past two days, and I’ve decided that I’m not losing you.”

Baekhyun wished he could reach into his chest to stop his heart from beating so fast.

“You can’t,” Baekhyun told him.

“You haven’t even heard me out.”

Baekhyun stared at him, and he saw a glint of something in Kyungsoo’s eyes, mischief and confidence, or maybe it was the moonlight playing tricks on him.

“How are you not losing me?” Baekhyun decided to go ahead and ask. He wouldn’t get his hopes up, but he wanted to hear what was on Kyungsoo’s mind.

“I thought a lot about what people said, and then I thought about myself, and then I thought about you, and I realized that we were made for each other.”

“Were we?”

“My life is insane. It doesn’t make sense. I need to escape. I need someone to escape to. You won’t even leave the area. You are a constant. You are an escape. And you are obsessive. You said your relationship with Kris didn’t work out because you were obsessed with making it perfect. You need things to be a certain way, and you stress out when they’re not. Which means, the only relationship you ever could really make work, is one that you aren’t always in. Which means, the perfect relationship for us is the one where I come visit you every summer and you only have to put up with me during the summer.”

Baekhyun blinked.

“Soo,” he said, “That sounds like a nice dream.” And did it ever. Baekhyun loved the idea. But Chanyeol had shown him the finer points of Kyungsoo’s life, and Baekhyun knew it wouldn’t be that simple. “But, people follow you everywhere. They’ll see what you’re doing. They’ll talk.”

“So let them talk,” Kyungsoo said. “I don’t have to confirm or deny anything. They’ll never see us together outside of when I’m here and only if we decide to hit up a beach or something. Otherwise we’ll be at your place or mine where they can’t see a thing.”

“It’s too risky.”

“I’m willing to take that risk. My dad asked me what was my excuse this time around. When I thought about it the next day, after I had calmed down from all that had been said, I realized that I had no excuses anymore. I do know better now. The rumors existed, but that’s all they ever were. I had a lot to lose back then, so I freaked out instead of ignoring them. But now I’ve achieved everything I wanted, and what’s my excuse for not keeping you? Fear. I don’t want to lose it all because of fear. I don’t know what I’d do or who I’d even be if I lost my career. But right now I have it, and with me seeing you only every now and then, technically when I’m off the grid, I think I may not lose it all. I think this was very meant to be.”

“All it takes is one person…”

“I don’t care,” Kyungsoo said.

“You do care. You have to care. I’m not worth the risk.”

“You are worth the risk,” Kyungsoo told him, and he reached his hand up to pass his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. “I’m keeping you. I can have it all. I can be the lead singer of Exodus over there, and I can be myself here. And if people start asking, I can just say you’re a very talented photographer slash piano player and I’m a fan of your work. And that’s all I’ll ever have to say. And they can say what they want, but if I never confirm anything, then it will just be rumors. I’m not as scared of rumors as I used to be. I have what I want. Even a solo album. Let me have you too.”

“And if it all comes crashing down?” Baekhyun had to ask. He had to make sure. His body vibrated from all the energy running through him right now.

“Chanyeol and I have this duo we used to dabble in when we were kids,” Kyungsoo said with a smile.

“Did it involve temper tantrums?” Baekhyun played along, his hands snaking around Kyungsoo’s mid-section to hold him closer.

“Lots,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“Mostly from you, I’m sure,” Baekhyun teased.

 “You think you’re funny,” Kyungsoo said, touching his nose to Baekhyun’s. “Do I get to keep you?”

“If you’re willing to take the risk, who am I to say no?” Baekhyun said, his heart racing, his hopes flying through the roof.

Kyungsoo kissed him, and Baekhyun’s fingers tightened as they grasped the fabric of Kyungsoo’s shirt. He leaned into the kiss, not believing that this could be real, but oh, how he needed it to be real.

“Are we really doing this?” Baekhyun asked him when their lips parted briefly. “Do I get to brag to my parents about my hot rock star boyfriend?”

“Well I’ve already bragged to my parents about my cute photographer boyfriend so I guess that’s only fair.”

Baekhyun kissed him, and he kissed him again and again, as many times as he could on that moonlit night on the pier.

As they walked back down the pier with their fingers linked and the moonlight following them and lighting their path, Baekhyun thought back to his conversation with Sehun the other day.

“You know, Sehun told me that he thought this was the most perfect relationship I’d ever been in. Like, I wasn’t normal, so this weird summer thing of ours suited me. Or something like that.”

“I always knew I liked Sehun,” Kyungsoo smiled. “He’s so wise.”

“He’s the person who knows me best,” Baekhyun said smiling as well. “So I guess I can tell him tomorrow that he was right.”

“I’m really just keeping you as a boyfriend so I have an excuse to see Sehun whenever I’m back.”

“That’s okay. Chanyeol said we’re now friends and he wants to do lunch with me every time he’s in town. So there.”

“So there,” Kyungsoo mocked him back, and he stopped walking to take Baekhyun into his arms again and give him another lingering kiss. “Even though it’s counterproductive to everything I said before, if you do decide to leave your safety radius, there’s a really cool aquarium in Seoul I’d like to show you.”

“Maybe for our ten-year anniversary,” Baekhyun said.

“It’s a date,” Kyungsoo said back.

Baekhyun didn’t bother to count how many more kisses they gave each other after that, and when he gave him what would technically have been their “final” kiss in the morning, Baekhyun didn’t think of it as final at all. It was a simple goodbye kiss, and he would get to kiss him again and again each time Kyungsoo came back home to visit.

“I told you so,” Sehun said as he went to the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal after he had said goodbye to Kyungsoo as well.

“Do you live here now?” Baekhyun asked him instead, following him to wrap his arm around Sehun’s waist.

“No, but I did give my two weeks, so I’m practically moving in,” Sehun said with a smile and a pat to Baekhyun’s hand before pouring the cereal.

“Oh, good, we needed help with paying the rent.”

“No job, no money, sorry,” Sehun said and laughed when Baekhyun poked him for it.

Baekhyun’s phone rang and he picked it up, thinking it was a wrong caller since he didn’t recognize the number.

“Hey, can I speak to Baekhyun Byun?”

“Speaking,” Baekhyun said.

“Hey, Kyungsoo gave me your number. He said you needed help with editing his teaser video?”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, surprised and unprepared for this call, “Yeah, I just took a lot of footage, but I don’t actually know how to make a music video.”

“No worries. I’m pretty free all day. Can you swing by?”

“I have to work today, but I can stop by after.”

“Sounds good. I’m a night owl anyway. Also, Kyungsoo mentioned something about making sure you brought all the footage so you can make a director’s cut.”

“He did?” Baekhyun said surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Well, his guy Minseok made me sign a non-disclosure agreement, so I’m guessing ‘yes’? That’s not usually part of my contract.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll bring all the footage.”

“Great, see you tonight.”

Baekhyun hung up after getting the guy’s address and phone number.

“You look like you just won the lotto,” Sehun observed as he ate his cereal and looked at Baekhyun.

“Thank you for asking me to cover for you at the Exodus concert that night,” Baekhyun said instead, feeling giddy.

“It should have been me. Instead I’m stuck with a whole handsome intelligent vegan named Junmyeon Kim.”

“Funny how that happened, huh?”

“Yeah. Funny.”

They both looked at each other for a second and then busted out laughing. Perhaps neither of them believed how much their reality had changed in the short summer months, or maybe they were both still delirious from the incredible events of yesterday, but they couldn’t stop laughing, and by the time Junmyeon had come out freshly showered and dressed for work, they were both trying to recover, small giggles escaping each time either of them tried to breathe.

“Uh, is everything okay?” Junmyeon asked.

“Everything is more than okay,” Baekhyun said, giggling again.

“We’re just happy,” Sehun said, laughing all over again, and Baekhyun joined him.

But happy was an understatement. Baekhyun was over the moon and couldn’t believe that he had gotten to keep Kyungsoo after all. And then he had a thought and sent a text to Kyungsoo.

_Remember the palm reader?_

Baekhyun giggled after he sent it, knowing Kyungsoo would laugh.

 _The one you don’t believe?_ Kyungsoo sent back.

_Yeah, the paid entertainer. Remember what she told me? She said my disposition attracts people and that’s how I’ll find true love. I’m glad my disposition attracted you. That’s all. Have a safe flight!_

_She said if you allowed yourself to with your independent nature. I’m glad you allowed yourself to. Miss you already._

_She knew nothing, but I’m glad too. Love…_

Baekhyun paused, not sure if it was too soon, but he supposed the boy that put his career on the line for him deserved it, so he completed the thought.

_…you._

Baekhyun bit his lip, and then his face lit up.

_Love you too._

Baekhyun held his phone tightly to his chest, like if he was hugging Kyungsoo himself, and that night when he went to make Kyungsoo’s teaser with the help of the editor, Baekhyun listened to the final produced song, completely in love with how melodic and simple it had turned out.

The editor and Baekhyun knocked back several Red Bulls as they worked through the night and early morning, choosing exactly the right moments, expressions, moods that Kyungsoo had conveyed to Baekhyun’s camera. Once the right footage was chosen and the music was added, the video turned out to be ethereal, like a dream, or a fantasy, about lost love and the hope of new love. It was the perfect and most raw that Kyungsoo’s fans would ever see him, whether they realized it or not.

But for Baekhyun, what mattered the most, was the director’s cut. The editor had been totally cool about it and had made sure to really get the best bits and fit them in for him. Baekhyun couldn’t thank him enough, and the following night he had a private showing for him, Sehun, Junmyeon and Jongin and showed them the director’s cut, which brought back all of the feelings that Baekhyun had had, not just on that day, but throughout his and Kyungsoo’s journey.

“What an amazing video,” Sehun said once it had faded to black.

“That was great, Baek,” Junmyeon said, looking proud as he clapped for him.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Jongin agreed.

The accolades were interrupted by a static cut on the screen, and then Kyungsoo’s face appeared.

“So, I know you asked me to write a song for you,” Kyungsoo said. “Or Kendricked me to write a song for you, but like I said, for me, this song is now yours.”

Baekhyun felt tears in his eyes at seeing Kyungsoo talking to him on the screen, and he said “oh my God” to himself. “How did… I was with the editor…” Baekhyun began, but then he paused his train of thought as he watched Kyungsoo continue.

“However, you being you, you’re probably not completely satisfied with the answer. But, in referencing the Kendrick files, it appears that you only wanted a song because you thought it was over. And I quote,” Kyungsoo said as he peered closer to his screen to read something, and then, in his incredible tone, he sang, “ _When the lights shut off, and it’s my turn to settle down, my main concern, promise that you will sing about me. Promise that you will sing about me_.”

“Fuck,” Baekhyun said as his tears spilled.

“So according to Kendrick, I can’t sing about you because our lights are still on, and they’re going to stay on, some way or another. I haven’t quite figured out how yet, but if you’re watching this, then I figured it out, and that’s all that matters.”

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun said to himself as he cried a bit more, and Sehun smiled at him as he rubbed his shoulder.

“In the words of Kendrick,” Kyungsoo continued, “ _We made a right, then made a left, then made a right, then made a left, we was just circling life._ And I’m hoping that like in the song, they make a right, they make a left, then make a right, and another right, and we don’t get caught. I’m going to find us a solution because I’m tired of crying, and I’m tired of it being my turn to cry. And I don’t want it to be your turn to cry. I love you.”

Baekhyun hid partly under his shirt to wipe his tears with his collar and hide the blotchy wet mess his face was becoming.

“I do,” Kyungsoo said. “I love you, and I’m going to figure this out for us, but just in case, I wanted you to know. I love you.”

Kyungsoo touched his fingers to his lips then touched the screen before waving bye and turning it off.

Baekhyun let it all out, his tears of disbelief and emotion and happiness all poured out at once. “The editor must have added that when I went to the bathroom before I left.”

“So brilliant,” Jongin said, rubbing Baekhyun’s head.

“I knew I liked him,” Sehun said.

“That was incredibly romantic and that’s going to be hard to beat,” Junmyeon said. “Sorry, Sehun, don’t expect that.”

“You better Kendrick me!” Sehun said, attacking Junmyeon with kisses, and Baekhyun was grateful for the ridiculous display from his best friend because he needed to laugh.

He wiped his tears and took out his phone to text Kyungsoo.

_Just watched the director’s cut. I’m crying now. I can’t believe you Kendricked me._

_It was only fair. Just watched it myself, without my Kendricking at the end. And watched the fan version too. Beautiful work, but I expected nothing less of my favorite photographer. How are you so perfect at everything you do, and how did I get so lucky to meet you? Oh, right. Sehun! THANK YOU, SEHUN!_

_Thank you, Sehun! Nap well. I’m sending you all the kisses._

_Your kisses are the best kisses. I already told Minseok to plan my next trip home so I can get more._

_THANK YOU, SEHUN!_

_THANK YOU, SEHUN!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my first Baeksoo! And thanks to AU rock band EXO, Kendrick, and Chopin (and Beyoncé lol) for the musical inspiration for this fic. As always, much love to @kyungmoji @exoismyproblem and @johntographique for their support and encouragement as I was on this journey.
> 
> You can find me on twitter @baeksesoolove <3


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